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How long does it take to get over someone who cheated on you?

108 Answers
Last Updated: 07/10/2018 at 8:49pm
How long does it take to get over someone who cheated on you?
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United States
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Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
Hopegrace15
March 30th, 2016 5:25am
It is pretty hard to get over someone who cheated you. all kinds of emotions such as the feeling on not being good enough keeps haunting us. But ultimately it is upto you, your will power and the strength to accept what happened and rise above it that's going to help you get over. the first step is to acknowledge what happened and accept the fact that it cant be changed. Then you will also understand that the only person in pain by holding on to this is you... That is when you will slowly learn to let it go... I hope this helps.
Jadhar
March 25th, 2016 5:19am
Essay Question: How long does it take to get over someone who cheated on you? Essay Answer: Well, I'm still married to him. I can't say, definitively, that I'm over it, but a long time ago I had to decide whether it was a deal breaker. Once I confirmed that, for us, it wasn't at that point I recognized that I couldn't let it keep coming out in the open between us. Or else, it would eventually become a deal breaker, and that wasn't what we had decided. So, here I am, 8 years later. I still feel it from time to time, but the wound is definitely healed over.
RyanLau21
April 11th, 2016 7:50pm
I believe that anyone that cheats on you isn't worth taking up space in your mind. I know it's hard but it's something that should not consume you.
sneh4ish
April 3rd, 2016 9:34am
Hello, I have through many breakups. And twice I was cheated, it doesn't take long if you identify people who love. While you are in relationship you would have lost contacts of many people. So once you find people you love you, things younlove to do you'll get over the person. And believe. Believe in god, gut, karma, destiny anything. What goes around definitely comes around.
WaterAndAFlame
April 17th, 2016 6:51am
There is no timestamp to a situation like this. And I strongly believe it's not a matter of "getting over" this someone - because obviously this someone is/was a significant factor in your life - rather, it's more of coping. You're coping for a possible loss or strain in your relationship. Time heals all wounds. Like different wounds, time varies. Take as much time as you need, and don't feel rushed to feel at peace with the situation.
miraculousDeer28
May 8th, 2016 3:56pm
6 months with full dedication. Thinking that "he/she wasnt the real deal becuse the real thing would never hurt you like that" helped me. Also just be around more people and learn to love yourself in the meantime. Most importantly learn from the bad relationship to never have it repeat again next time you would kinda know who is good to you for real rather than someone that will cheat you. These are just my life lessons that i learnt the hard way. The important thing is to learn from them and better yourself. Hope this helped x
Paris03
April 2nd, 2016 4:15am
It's going to take a while. I would be very hurt and upset and heartbroken if someone ever cheated on me. It would be so hard for me to overcome that I had been cheated on
Anonymous
April 20th, 2016 6:28pm
You never really get over them depending on how much you loved each other you just move on. A lot of people may tell you to forget, but that is not the answer you will never forget because you will always think about the good moments you had together, the best thing to do is move on get through it not forget it. Like i said you will never stop caring about that person deep inside or maybe even loving them depending on what kind of relationship you had but you will get through and even when you do move on the person you use to know who loved you will still always be in your heart and you'll be in there's. This is just my opinion.
couragetogo
March 27th, 2016 3:42pm
Although this person doesn't appreciate you enough, you should! Learn to love yourself enough to dismiss the people that don't love you. This realization can take a day but also years. The most important is that you don't try to search for it by other people but within yourself.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2016 10:03am
Well, we all know its not easy to get over someone.. but getting over someone who cheated on you.. should take less time because that person..didn't deserve your time..they were not sincere.. what if you never found out about this cheating and you had kept loving this person right? its better you have found out about it.. so you could move on for the better.. its not the end.. eventually you'll get over it.. you just have to remind yourself.. that you don't need someone who is not faithful.. who could break your trust.. because the utter most thing in a relationship is trust..and hope for the best for yourself..
RandomAccessMemory
June 25th, 2016 10:02pm
This varies from person to person. It can take anywhere from a day, to never. It depends on two things. 1. Your attachment to the person and 2. How willing you are to let go. First, if you never cared for the person, it will obviously be rather easy to get over them. But more importantly, 2. If you plan on somehow winning him back, he will still be stuck in your brain. You have to learn to accept the past, and move on to bigger and better things.
Gosu
April 10th, 2016 12:27pm
You undergo some stages like anger, pain, disappointment but it vanishes when you focus on yourself.
Hadwin
July 11th, 2017 12:26pm
I think it vary. It really depends on how much you're close to that person,and how much they're important to you.and if they're sorry about what they've done or not
MaeveTheBrave
June 12th, 2016 5:06am
It varies for everyone. But one potential way to measure how long it will take to get over a breakup is to half the total time of the relationship. However, this method isn't set in stone, and everyone has different experiences dealing with breakups, and there are lots of different factors to consider for each breakup situation. The important question here isn't about the time it will take to get someone who cheated on you, because there really is no answer to that. But what you should be asking yourself is: "what am I going to do next?" or "how can I help myself feel better right now?" Try to focus less on getting over them, and more on what you need.
simran14
May 5th, 2016 5:44pm
If they cheated on you means that they never cared and hence are not worth you. Give importance to youself, stop recalling past memories and live in the present...check out others and try keeping yourself happy by being in a positive surrounding
YourBroFromTheOtherMo
April 17th, 2016 12:47pm
It depends on the rate at which you can remove them away from you, both mentally and physically however, everyone recovers at their own rate of preference. It depends how long this event had been happening for, as the longer the duration of this event happening, the more it will hurt. However, the best things to do to get over them is to distract yourself, this has happened to me before in the past dating a girl for 3 years, she cheated and did a lot of sexual things behind my back, anyway focusing on your well being, when i hanged out with my friends i was very easily distracted however she would come back into my thoughts every now and then. But the more you go out or distract yourself the quicker you forget. Best thing to do, in order to speed up the process of moving on, remove any items they had bought for you to keep, unless you really want to keep them, and if so put them out of sight :)
Anonymous
April 7th, 2016 2:55pm
It can be quick or long depending on how much you care about them and their reason for doing it. It is also not your fault so don't blame yourself but if you can have a positive attitude you'll get over it soon
incarnadinepetals
April 1st, 2016 11:47pm
It takes a while, everyone's different. As long as you keep your mind occupied with people who love you and you love, like your friends, your pets, your family. Get a new hobby, go to the gym, do some yoga. Anything helps!
gentlePresence70
March 6th, 2017 8:16pm
The time it takes to get over someone that cheated on you is unlimited. Eventually you will get over it but you will never forget about it and sometimes because of that fact it can hurt future relationships if you dwell on it you have to learn how to keep it in the past.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2017 10:18pm
It varies for the person and situation. Honestly, if you got cheated on, don't come back to that person, You are better than that, you are smart, resilient, and extraordinary and you know you have better worth than being used and not loved soul by and for you.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2016 9:02pm
The pain may never go away depending on the person, all we need to do is learn to see the beauty in the scar and learn how to accept it as a part of who we are as a whole.
Sassy001
April 2nd, 2016 4:18pm
I don't think there is any set time.Everyone is different and every situation is different,so some may get over them quickly,while others may take longer.It all depends on the person and when they are able and ready to move on and how they cope with the separation.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 2:04pm
Depending on how much you know your worth. Think of it as a chance to be with your loving and faithful self again. P.s. you deserve better!
Anonymous
May 8th, 2016 9:17am
There is no universal time frame that works for everyone, we are all individuals and how we react to this situation governed by the nature of the relationship, the people and the incident. You may never get over the feelings of betrayal etc, but you will certainly adapt and be able to cope with your feelings. Try not to ignore or bury your feelings, they arw yours and they need to be taken care of, feelings need to be processed as this allows them to be accepted. Dont set yourself a timescale, just allow whatwver time it takea.
Christiana77
June 25th, 2016 8:41am
It may take forever for some people and just a couple of weeks for others. It sure depends on how matured that particular person is ready to face it and move on.
Anonymous
March 27th, 2016 6:54pm
That can depend from person to person. If it was a harsh breakup for you it could take a very long time. If it was someone you were planning on breaking up with it shouldn't take over a week. For harsh breakups try surrounding yourself with friends and focus on doing things for yourself
lovelyHeart15
April 15th, 2016 6:22pm
Every individual will respond to a lover cheating on them differently. However, I believe this could leave a life-long impact. It is up to the individual to make the experience a positive impact, no matter how horribly it happened or felt in that moment.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2016 9:40am
depends on you , how long do you keep him/ her in your mind . it all depends on you because he/ she has already left you after cheating you , but its up to you for how long do you keep that guy / girl alive in your memories.
queenofspaids
June 18th, 2016 1:23am
There is no set time. It honestly depends on the person, but the main idea is to focus on loving yourself again because you have been taken advantage of emotionally. Cheating hurts and it can take a while to get over, but it is not impossible and the main idea is to remember that not everyone cheats, and take it as a learning experience.
Edenine
July 24th, 2016 12:45pm
However long it takes, as it depends on the individual. The deeper the love, the deeper the hole carved in the heart. It could take only a second for some, it could take a lifetime for others.