I can't get over my ex after a year. What should I do?

84 Answers
Last Updated: 11/13/2018 at 7:58am
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Sara Radford, MA Clinical Counseling

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Within the context of a supportive, collaborative relationship I help clients to explore themselves in a effort to create healing and lasting positive change.

Top Rated Answers
listener1216
February 19th, 2016 9:19pm
Everyone has different ways of looking at this... Firstly, please know, that it's okay if you are not over them. No matter how long you were with them, you had a connection, and you will think about it now and then. Until, one day, it will fade away like dust in the air... But, it's gradual. Try to recognize what these thoughts do to you, and bring for you. How do they make you feel? Without the stories attached to this feeling. Once you have recognized these feelings and sensation, you will learn to just stay with them. Even though, not everyone is of this opinion; I believe if you truly want to move on, and if your ex is open to a healthy communication... then, please go for it, because life is too short to hold on to any resentment. I haven't always had this chance... So, yes, this will depend on how both you and your ex feel about a healthy dialogue. Good luck... and please be kind and patient to yourself.
PhDStudent
March 17th, 2016 11:02am
I understand how you feel. I had an experience similar to yours. The best thing you can do is to evaluate why everything ended, and to really understand and assimilate that this big change happened in your life. It is hard to let go people that were important to us, people that we truly loved, but more important is to love yourself and sometimes, things just do not work. Try to take care of yourself, spoil yourself, go to the gym or for walk/swim. Go out with your friends and take your life back. A life where you are the most important person, and you own personal well-being is what truly matters.
frothyCandy84
February 13th, 2016 3:27pm
Do nothing. Give some time. Time is the best healer. the more you try in matters of heart, more complicated it gets. It'll take time. In the mean time enjoy life and get involved in activities for self enrichment and self growth.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2016 3:45am
certain things needs time. do not expect a quick remedy,Stay positive n keep trying. Meditate, develop new hobbies, spend time wid family, frnds n travel as much as u can, play sports. whenever d person's thought crosses ur mind, remember tht it is over, do not hate him/her or over think, dont b too harsh on urself. just go with the flow. everything will b fine. Pray to God everyday. Meditation does wonders.
afandishun009
April 28th, 2016 4:58pm
break ups can be hard and sometimes not easy to get over it. but if you tried alot but cant patch things, Then it is time to move on. Just give it some time. They say time is the best healer. So Give time some time to do its magic.
jacoyb
May 8th, 2016 10:50pm
get a pet untill you understand the meaning of love being that attached to someone in a short space of time is crazy
Anonymous
January 14th, 2016 3:20am
Be patient with yourself, there is no set time to get over someone. Focus on other things for a while and give it more time.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 4:26am
If you haven't already, perhaps try to start meeting new people. After all, it has been only a year, and if it was serious, it might take a bit longer. You should also try to get rid of anything that remidn you of him, and stop yourself when you think about him.
divinewillpower86
January 20th, 2016 5:41pm
Well when you say that it's over a year that means you are counting it! Each day! Say it's like Stars! If you try to measure and count each star every day, you will amaze to find them getting numerous and countless day after day! What matters is not who he WAS or she Was what matters is what do you T H I N K ? It's same as if you talked to a stranger and you imagine who he was and why did you smile? what if he followed you back?? This is endless. cause this is of no use! Be the Best in you and Trust Your Instincts and say good bye to your H U R T !
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 11:07pm
Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you to put yourself out there and experience new things. Soon enough your ex would be the last thing on your mind.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 8:39am
It is Norma. Losing someone is difficult. however letting go is a good thing, it helps you to move on. I would like you to take a pen and the blank paper. list everything you never liked about your ex. the more you write them this will help you to let your ex go a bit.
faisyah865
January 22nd, 2016 4:39pm
Ask yourself; is it better if you got back together with your ex? Reflect your decisions, was it the right one?
BatWings89
January 22nd, 2016 11:36pm
Actively concentrate on you. Go out, meet new people. don't try to fight thoughts on your ex, but don't follow them either.
royalLily78
January 23rd, 2016 5:18pm
im in the same boat, im not sure what you can do but sounds like your still in love like me. maybe try talking to your ex?
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 7:28pm
I know how hard break ups can be. There must be a reason why you feel like you can't move on. It could be a great time to reevaluate what about this person is keeping you from moving on. Could it be that you haven't met anyone new that would interest you as much as your ex?
Annaxelia
January 29th, 2016 7:38am
Try and get some professional help and see a therapist or a councilor. Speak to someone you trust and feel comfortable with to help you through it
Anonymous
January 29th, 2016 12:12pm
Attend social events or hand around with your friends, doing this will allow you to meet new people and maybe find the one.
greatfulWaterfall19
February 1st, 2016 8:21am
Excersize works really well as a distraction from negative thoughts. Other things which work really well for getting over an ex include going out with friends more often and spending time on yourself - doing your makeup/hair (if you're into that kind of thing - not my cup of tea!) or going to the cinema or something like that.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 9:51pm
You should define what is the thing that you miss. You miss him? or do you miss being loved? we sometimes mix things up
Anonymous
February 4th, 2016 6:00am
Occupy your brain with other things.. don't consciously focus on forgetting him, that way you will never really get over his memories just let other things become your priority.
Greatlistener87
February 10th, 2016 2:15am
Getting over your ex will take time. Its important to know that your ex is your ex for a reason and always keep that reason in mind. Know that you have given it your best shot and because of that reason you had to leave and move forward.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2016 9:49pm
From experience, the best way of getting over an ex is surrounding yourself with people and things you love.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2016 12:45am
That's a tough one. Sometimes it can take longer than that to get over someone. Perhaps one way to forget about the past is to maybe focus on the future, building something new, doing something new.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 4:49am
Try to do something new, or do your hobbies, meet new people or just meet your best friends who doesn't meet often
TheSunWillRISE92
February 17th, 2016 9:23pm
Gosh. It took me longer than that to get over mine. There is no set time of how long it should take to get over someone. Anyone who is telling you otherwise is lying to you. Its not good to dwell over the situation but it is good to take the time that you need emotionally. I promise that things will get better and you will get over your EX I did and even found someone who is 100% better. so can you
BladeStorm
February 18th, 2016 2:36am
First of all, cut any communication or contact you have with her. Have absolutely no contact with her. After that, start going out meaning, go out with friends, talk to new people, distract yourself in many fun ways. You can and will get over your ex because you deserve better than before and you will get it in time. Don't worry, nothing stays bad forever, things always change for the best
imnice123
February 18th, 2016 3:33am
maybe try starting new relationships to get over your ex? I've been through the same thing an at times it helped get over him, maybe you could try the same
shvrry
February 18th, 2016 6:28am
Eat food and encourage yourself that you can find better! don't be stuck on the past. That person is your past for a reason. There's a reason why everything happens.
Anonymous
February 18th, 2016 6:52am
Even after the no contact rule if you feel like this then you could try and fill your day one day at a time with meaningful productive things. Which could be anything ranging from your passions to something that involves you going out of the house.That doesn't mean that the thoughts will go away suddenly but you will be cushioned better to meet your real self. And learn to love yourself more daily and it will help.
mysteriousVision84
February 19th, 2016 3:25am
Try to think about the negative things in the relationship. You broke up for a reason, remember that. Also, cutting off all contact with them might help