I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't yet. What should I do?

88 Answers
Last Updated: 06/25/2018 at 5:25pm
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2016 10:48pm
Congrats on making the most incredible decision a woman can make! I would see if he has an idea of when he would like to start trying first and foremost... The last thing I would do is make sure the two of you are on the same page with when you want to have a baby. Be direct and express your feelings and use "I" statements along with "I feel like" feeling statements. Concluding the "TALK," I would celebrate this amazing milestone in your relationship by having a mini-party with close friends and family with friends. Take care! - Robert -
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 6:30am
Respect your boyfriend. It might not make sense now and may be frustrating but It is worth the wait.
friendlyOasis
January 16th, 2016 8:41pm
You should definitely wait. The decision to become parents should not be taken lightly. It's a life-long commitment that requires you to be "on the job" 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the first 18 years. It's not an easy job either. Even when things are going perfectly parenting requires a lot of time, energy and sacrifice. What if things do NOT go perfectly? What if you have to face a medically complicated pregnancy or give birth to a child with special needs? If both parents aren't 100% ready to commit to becoming a parent then the job of parenting can become even more complicated. Healthy relationships require us to make compromises on a regular basis... Settling for Chinese food when you're really craving Italian or going to see an action/adventure movie when you were in the mood for a comedy. When to start a family, however, is not something that can be compromised; both people need to be ready.
Tattyfae
February 4th, 2016 2:45am
Having a baby is a life changing step. Putting pressure on your boyfriend will only make the situation worse and cause him to back away. Gentle discussions about how you both feel and the expectations you each have of what you imagine life would look like when you are ready can help you understand where your boyfriends thoughts are. For example, he may not feel that as a couple you are suitably financially secure or he may feel that he has not accomplished something in his life yet. It is very difficult when your maternal instincts have kicked in and your partner is not ready. Sometimes it can feel like life gives you constant reminders about what is lacking in your life and it can hurt. Having a relaxed, compassionate and loving conversation about it will at least possibly shed some light on how you both feel and you may even be able to come to a place of understanding between you.
AnnieAndie
January 17th, 2016 6:20pm
Take it at a slow pace. I would highly encourage getting married before having a child since anything can happen. A child needs stability in his or her life. Ensure that everything is ready and financially set for a baby. Make a plan with your mate. Tell him how long you're willing to wait and ask him how long he wants to wait. Perhaps meet in the middle somewhere. If both parents are not on board for a new baby, things could turn ugly fast.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2016 7:29am
I think you must talk to him and try to convince him and ask why doesn't he want a baby.Then you both must try to understand each other and get a right solution
Greatlistener87
January 14th, 2016 2:07am
Depending on why your bf does not want the child yet. Maybe you guys should discuss things over and know each others reasons and weigh it to make a decision. Taking care of a child takes team work so its good if both of you can work together before bringing a child into the equation.
spectacularArrow92
April 21st, 2016 12:30pm
Would you like to tell me the reasons why you feel so strongly about wanting to have a baby at the minute? Have you had a "sit-down" conversation with your boyfriend regarding this?
Kawaiikittykat
March 1st, 2016 7:09pm
When you want a baby but your boyfriend doesn't just wait and give him time until he's ready. When your both ready then he might want one, for him he has to think things over so just give him space about it.
GentleMist
January 17th, 2016 10:41pm
Wait until you are both ready for a baby, it'll be better for both of you that way. You get to BOTH enjoy bringing a child into the world.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 6:27am
There's not a whole lot you can do besides try to persuade him. However, you don't want to risk trying to hard and possibly messing with your relationship. My sister helped persuade her husband by showing him cute, funny baby videos. Sometimes it's the simple things that work the best.
bRenda09
January 20th, 2016 4:36pm
Age is definitely A big Factor to take into consideration. If you are under 25 I would definitely wait.! There is no rush to start a family at such a young age. You are Young and have plenty of time to think about children. The 20s are our selfish years. I'm speaking from experience. I too wanted a baby at a young age, but not til I got a little older realized I truly wasn't ready. If you are older than 25 (strictlyy opiniĆ³n) talk with your boyfriend. Make sure you are both truly ready and talk about it. And even about the worst case scenario. If you two were not to work out would you BOTH still be there for your baby.? If you find your truly not ready enjoy babies of friends or relatives. I highly recommend this.! That way you can enjoy having a baby without actually having one and get to experience what you would be in for once you do have a baby. :)
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 10:32pm
You should buy a reborn baby... They look as real and everything do your research and when your both ready go for it.. make sure your at the appropriate age as well
Bblovetj
January 23rd, 2016 12:21am
I think you should wait till you both want a baby. Often times people get pregnant before they or the father are ready and creates problems and stress. It is important to be on the same page with your mate especially when it is something that will last a life time.
LovinglyLillie
February 5th, 2016 8:35pm
Try to see things from his point of view. Ask him why he doesn't want a baby, and share your thoughts on why you want a baby. You two can come up with a plan on where to go with your relationship and when you'd both be ready for a baby. Respect his decision, and talk about your thoughts.
hayl
March 12th, 2016 5:17am
you and your boyfriend have to make a decision together. you need to have a discussion with him as adults and decide whats best for you both at this point in your lives.
SweetUnicorn
April 20th, 2016 11:45pm
You need to be patient and talk with him about it but you also need to let him some time. Having a baby is a big changement, be really patient.
PRUNE4BEE
January 15th, 2016 1:26pm
It is always wise to weigh options first. Have a sit down with your boyfriend to hear his reasoning .. Maybe there are things you are bot aware of. and then calculate the costs
xpeacelovex
January 17th, 2016 8:10pm
give him time to think about it and talk over it with him . maybe he doesn't want one yet because he feels hes not ready to be a father t the moment
Alex7491
January 21st, 2016 1:46am
Don't push your boyfriend. A baby takes a lot of time and effort, and you would want him to be fully invested in the process.
whimsicalBreeze39
January 21st, 2016 12:47pm
Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and find out why he doesn't want a baby yet. Perhaps seek relationship counseling if need be.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 4:26pm
You can speak to him and see his thoughts. He may not be ready to take a big step as this is a big step in his life.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 11:40pm
You could talk to him about it or you yourself should reconsider it cause a baby is a big responsibility you know and both of you should agree on it .
briaannasaurus
January 24th, 2016 8:50pm
It depends on your age. You should consult your parents about having a child and then talk to your boyfriend about his values and where your relationship is heading to.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 11:37am
You have to convince him that how much a baby is important for a couple and complete their lifes and enhance their love
Anonymous
January 29th, 2016 4:38am
Talk to him, and make life plans, you both should end in something and make a decision together !!
TheFaerie
February 3rd, 2016 2:37am
A baby shouldn't be brought into the world unless both parents are ready for the responsibilities that come with one.
FindYourStrength01
February 4th, 2016 3:32am
You could both take time to discuss when in the future you think you both want a child and be available to actively care for him/her financial, emotionally etc....
Lillyhearts1234
February 6th, 2016 3:49pm
Wait until your boyfriends ready. Don't rush things. The best thing to do is just take things slow. You don't want to have a baby too fast in the relationship because having a baby can really put a huge stress on the relationship.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2016 7:54am
If you want a baby but your boyfriend doesn't try to adopt one or you can take things slowly an stuf