I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't yet. What should I do?
Last Updated: 06/25/2018 at 5:25pm
Melissa Strauss, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.
Top Rated Answers
Respect your boyfriend. It might not make sense now and may be frustrating but It is worth the wait.
Would you like to tell me the reasons why you feel so strongly about wanting to have a baby at the minute? Have you had a "sit-down" conversation with your boyfriend regarding this?
You should definitely wait. The decision to become parents should not be taken lightly. It's a life-long commitment that requires you to be "on the job" 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the first 18 years. It's not an easy job either. Even when things are going perfectly parenting requires a lot of time, energy and sacrifice. What if things do NOT go perfectly? What if you have to face a medically complicated pregnancy or give birth to a child with special needs? If both parents aren't 100% ready to commit to becoming a parent then the job of parenting can become even more complicated. Healthy relationships require us to make compromises on a regular basis... Settling for Chinese food when you're really craving Italian or going to see an action/adventure movie when you were in the mood for a comedy. When to start a family, however, is not something that can be compromised; both people need to be ready.
Congrats on making the most incredible decision a woman can make! I would see if he has an idea of when he would like to start trying first and foremost... The last thing I would do is make sure the two of you are on the same page with when you want to have a baby. Be direct and express your feelings and use "I" statements along with "I feel like" feeling statements. Concluding the "TALK," I would celebrate this amazing milestone in your relationship by having a mini-party with close friends and family with friends. Take care! - Robert -
Having a baby is a life changing step. Putting pressure on your boyfriend will only make the situation worse and cause him to back away. Gentle discussions about how you both feel and the expectations you each have of what you imagine life would look like when you are ready can help you understand where your boyfriends thoughts are. For example, he may not feel that as a couple you are suitably financially secure or he may feel that he has not accomplished something in his life yet. It is very difficult when your maternal instincts have kicked in and your partner is not ready. Sometimes it can feel like life gives you constant reminders about what is lacking in your life and it can hurt. Having a relaxed, compassionate and loving conversation about it will at least possibly shed some light on how you both feel and you may even be able to come to a place of understanding between you.
Take it at a slow pace. I would highly encourage getting married before having a child since anything can happen. A child needs stability in his or her life. Ensure that everything is ready and financially set for a baby. Make a plan with your mate. Tell him how long you're willing to wait and ask him how long he wants to wait. Perhaps meet in the middle somewhere. If both parents are not on board for a new baby, things could turn ugly fast.
I think you must talk to him and try to convince him and ask why doesn't he want a baby.Then you both must try to understand each other and get a right solution
Depending on why your bf does not want the child yet. Maybe you guys should discuss things over and know each others reasons and weigh it to make a decision. Taking care of a child takes team work so its good if both of you can work together before bringing a child into the equation.
When you want a baby but your boyfriend doesn't just wait and give him time until he's ready. When your both ready then he might want one, for him he has to think things over so just give him space about it.
Try to see things from his point of view. Ask him why he doesn't want a baby, and share your thoughts on why you want a baby. You two can come up with a plan on where to go with your relationship and when you'd both be ready for a baby. Respect his decision, and talk about your thoughts.
Wait until you are both ready for a baby, it'll be better for both of you that way. You get to BOTH enjoy bringing a child into the world.
There's not a whole lot you can do besides try to persuade him. However, you don't want to risk trying to hard and possibly messing with your relationship. My sister helped persuade her husband by showing him cute, funny baby videos. Sometimes it's the simple things that work the best.
you and your boyfriend have to make a decision together. you need to have a discussion with him as adults and decide whats best for you both at this point in your lives.
Age is definitely A big Factor to take into consideration. If you are under 25 I would definitely wait.! There is no rush to start a family at such a young age. You are Young and have plenty of time to think about children. The 20s are our selfish years. I'm speaking from experience. I too wanted a baby at a young age, but not til I got a little older realized I truly wasn't ready. If you are older than 25 (strictlyy opinión) talk with your boyfriend. Make sure you are both truly ready and talk about it. And even about the worst case scenario. If you two were not to work out would you BOTH still be there for your baby.? If you find your truly not ready enjoy babies of friends or relatives. I highly recommend this.! That way you can enjoy having a baby without actually having one and get to experience what you would be in for once you do have a baby. :)
You should buy a reborn baby... They look as real and everything do your research and when your both ready go for it.. make sure your at the appropriate age as well
I think you should wait till you both want a baby. Often times people get pregnant before they or the father are ready and creates problems and stress. It is important to be on the same page with your mate especially when it is something that will last a life time.
You can speak to him and see his thoughts. He may not be ready to take a big step as this is a big step in his life.
You have to convince him that how much a baby is important for a couple and complete their lifes and enhance their love
If you want a baby but your boyfriend doesn't try to adopt one or you can take things slowly an stuf
You should wait. I know that you want a baby but if your boyfriend isn't ready you shouldn't rush into things! It would be more special when you're both ready, trust me!
You need to be patient and talk with him about it but you also need to let him some time. Having a baby is a big changement, be really patient.
It is always wise to weigh options first. Have a sit down with your boyfriend to hear his reasoning .. Maybe there are things you are bot aware of. and then calculate the costs
give him time to think about it and talk over it with him . maybe he doesn't want one yet because he feels hes not ready to be a father t the moment
Don't push your boyfriend. A baby takes a lot of time and effort, and you would want him to be fully invested in the process.
Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and find out why he doesn't want a baby yet. Perhaps seek relationship counseling if need be.
You could talk to him about it or you yourself should reconsider it cause a baby is a big responsibility you know and both of you should agree on it .
It depends on your age. You should consult your parents about having a child and then talk to your boyfriend about his values and where your relationship is heading to.
Talk to him, and make life plans, you both should end in something and make a decision together !!
A baby shouldn't be brought into the world unless both parents are ready for the responsibilities that come with one.
You could both take time to discuss when in the future you think you both want a child and be available to actively care for him/her financial, emotionally etc....
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