Why do I feel like nobody can help me and why do reject them even when they try their best to help and support me?
Last Updated: 04/10/2018 at 4:07am
Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.
Top Rated Answers
Often, when we are in a rough spot mentally, we can find ourselves rejecting help and feeling as though it is not even there. This doesn't mean that you do not want help. It means that there is something in your brain keeping you from accepting the help. You might feel afraid that they are only helping out of pity, or had a bad experience with someone who's help was not actually beneficial. Whatever it may be, we often refuse help out of some insecurity of our own and when we identify that, we can work to change it and begin to accept and recognize that support being given.
Ahh...this is me!! Love this question. This is because your situation is based on reality as you see it. Your reality is that you are worthless, unworthy of consideration, broken, ugly, stupid, clumsy, uncaring...and not worthy of any help or support. This can happen for a number of reasons. In my case I was told by those I was supposed to trust that it was true, my parents. They also convinced my teachers and other adults that I was the most screwed up and horrible person around. Go into your teens with that sort of background and you can imagine how it goes. Someone would try to tell me that I was smart or good looking and I would think, no, I mean you KNOW they are mistaken and they just don't know me. Once they do, they will see I am the idiot in the room. Of course, my actions would jinx the potentially helpful or beneficial relationship. If you are lucky, you will spend your future learning to love yourself, your life, accept your faults, and eventually be able to come to a place like 7cups and use your experience to benefit others. That's what happened to me!
Sometimes we are looking to be independent, as it is almost our nature; we don't want to look weak, therefore we do not accept help.
Because in your heart, you don't want to accept this problem. You feel that it's impossible to solve.
Because you can't stop feeling like no one will understand you. That will be useless trying to explain how do you feel and that they're just being kind but don't really care.
This could be due to something called attachment avoidance. Being aware of your attachment style, and practicing mindfulness may be one way to help you overcome these feelings and behaviors.
Only you can help yourself. No one person can help you. It can take several people to help but for any change to happen only you can control that.
Maybe because you don't like off loading what problems you may or may not have on to others but everyone need abit of help and support now an then so let family/friends help you when the offer is there
you build walls in your heart. Maybe you don't trust them or you've experienced something bad like someone betrayed you. or maybe you are scared of what they might think. but it is okay to feel this way. its not easy to open up to someone and expect them to understand so you push them away. but remember that they care. they want to help you. just try little by little to open up and share your problem and stories to someone
It happens when we don't want the other person to think that we are weak. Therefore sometimes we just avoid being around anyone. That is when we distance ourselves from everyone including the one trying to help us.
For me, there have been times when I thought I was beyond saving and felt it would be easier to simply give up. So because of that belief, the efforts of others seemed like a waste of time, and I wasn't interested in receiving help. And then at other times, there was a part of me that was proud, too full of hubris to want to accept the help of others. And hey, the fact that you're asking this question means you've noticed others do care about you and you're conscious of when you reject their support. I hope this helps you find your answer.
You may feel like nobody can help you at the moment and that letting people in will only break you more. But trust me, shutting people out is the last thing you ever want to do. For once you shut everyone out, no one will want to try and get let in. Of course they will still love you and will never give up on you, but shutting them out will not get you any closer to recovery. Let people in even if it seeems impossible at first. It will be worth it when you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on. Please don't shut out the world.
Sometimes its in our human nature to think we can, or even HAVE TO, deal with bad experiences ourselves, but this is not the case. This is often because we are, sometimes unconsciously, afraid of their reactions to what we tell them. It's a totally normal reaction to have.
You may feel like nobody can help you and instead reject others help when they tried their best to support you is because you aren't looking for that kind of support so when you reject it you are looking for a more specific help to your problems than they can offer.
I understand how you feel because i have been this way before. For me, it was because i felt worthless and that talking to someone wasn't going to help anything. A few years later i finally start accepting and my life changed. It might also mean that you prefer to keep everything bundled up on the inside, scared of secrets or personal things being leaked out.
Sometimes you need time for yourself, personal space is always important. And it's okay if you feel like you can do your best to help yourself :)
I think there might be an element of your character that might not trust peoples intentions. You might have been burnt before so you're trying to become self-sufficient. I was once told "we are not a monopoly of knowledge." If you want better for yourself you'll take the olive branch. If you want to be stagnant you can continue to self sabotage. However, I can guarantee you'll feel depressed in the future knowing you could have done better if you sught help.
Maybe you just can't change your mindset "nobody can help me", and unconsciously, this paradigm will affect your social life. As you said, you'll reject them even when they try to help you. I suggest you to try to open up yourself to anyone
I don't want to become too attached to someone that may turn on me or leave me after i have become desperate for their help and affections.
Having experienced this behavior from both sides I get what you’re saying. Sometimes it can feel like nobody is there however their are many people who do care and are willing to help. Our Emotions sometimes stop us from getting the help that we need. Try to stay calm and really think about the greater good!
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