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My boyfriend or girlfriend is ashamed of me. What should I do?

117 Answers
Last Updated: 08/10/2021 at 2:24pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
LegendarySymbols
November 11th, 2015 8:55pm
If you have someone in your life that is ashamed of you, ask yourself do you deserve better. I think you do. If someone loves you than they should have nothing to be ashamed of. They should feel comfortable and proud to be with you.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 8:57pm
Why do you think he feels that way? Ask him why then talk it through with him to know the steps both of you can take after discussing.
AbsCanHelp
November 12th, 2015 12:52am
sit down with them and ask why? find out the reasons for it, and if they were ashamed of you there wouldn't be with you simple as that
bubblingStar24
November 12th, 2015 2:49am
why should they be ashamed of you ? what have you done to make them feel this way. ask them what are they ashamed of in your behavior...
Anonymous
November 12th, 2015 7:35am
Communication is always a way to conflict resolution talk to them and ask them what it is you do that may make them feel that way and have them help to remind when you might be a bit off track and going back to your old ways relationships take work and not by one side but both
sweetRainfall12
November 12th, 2015 9:13am
first you should see what qualities of yours made them ashamed. if those are true reason to be ashamed then you should talk to them and try to change those habits or behaviour. second if there is not any serious shameful thing then you should rethink about your relation as a person who is ashamed of you for no reason is definitely is not in love.
brightDaisy37
November 12th, 2015 9:49am
Ask yourself one important question - am I ashamed with myself? If your answer is yes, speak about it with someone you trust. Remember, there is nothing wrong in having negative thoughts about yourself once in a while but it's not really healthy to constantly feel that way. It's possible to change that and feel comfortable being who you are or feeling very confident in your own skin. If your answer is no, the next question would be - how does my boyfriend or girlfriend convey this message to me and how does it make me feel? I'm guessing it makes you feel like there is something wrong with you and you don't like to feel that way. Again, speak with someone you trust and remember to trust yourself. If you aren't ashamed of who you are (which you shouldn't be), the person who you are with needs to accept you for who you are too. You might realize that he or she is incapable of doing so and might want to consider walking out of the relationship. It will be hard, but loving yourself is the best gift you could ever give to yourself. If we can't be nice to the person we are, it's hard to find people who will be nice to the person we are.
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
November 12th, 2015 9:55am
If they cannot love you for who you are, and for all your perfections and imperfections - then that person doesn't deserve you. Don't force yourself to continue in a toxic relationship because you feel like you're not worth any better.
GoodDay007
November 12th, 2015 7:12pm
What do you beleive is the best to be done, Talking to them, subtlety aiding the relationship between you, Im not the one to decide, you are.
PRUNE4BEE
November 13th, 2015 7:14am
You need to know that there is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes people behave in such a manner when they themselves are not comfortable with who they are
hcrriblekids17
November 13th, 2015 9:31am
Ask them why, for starters. Then try to talk through it, and if in the end they're still ashamed of you I think you may want to break up with them. It's not healthy to be in a relationship with someone who's ashamed of being with you.
caringHero37
November 13th, 2015 11:44am
why would they be ashamed of you everyone is special and if she is dating you clearly they found something special in you.
creativeEmbrace90
November 13th, 2015 12:59pm
Do you know why they're ashamed? Communicate with them and find out what it is that makes them feel that way about you. Do you feel as if its for a genuine reason? Then do this, decide whether or not you actually want to change that aspect that ashamed them. Whatever you decide to do next deserves second priority.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 2:09pm
People should like you for who you are, your options may be live in shame and guilt or get over her.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 3:01pm
With this, it seems like your partner is ashamed of you. In any sense, have you talked to your partner regarding this concern?
joyousNature19
November 13th, 2015 3:13pm
Break up with them no one should feel that way with one another life to short to be unhappy stay strong
bubblingLove76
November 13th, 2015 7:50pm
Find out if that is true or not. You may be projecting feelings of low self worth onto someone else.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 9:12pm
I would find a new boyfriend or girlfriend that isn't ashamed of you and appreciates you and treats you like you are the most special person on Earth!
Manifestation
November 13th, 2015 9:38pm
Do you think that you merit this shame? If so, what repairs need to be made to find a common ground with your partner?
raspberrylemonade
November 14th, 2015 2:42am
If someone you love is ever ashamed of you, I would suggest considering finding a new lover. It may be hard to even think of leaving someone you love dearly, but love is a special form that means you shall not judge, criticize, or feel ashamed of you no matter what. Love is a beautiful thing, and for someone to be ashamed of you, that is not love, and I am sorry that they feel the need to be ashamed of you.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2015 4:20am
it's always important to discuss things that are going on in a relationship. Communication is key. Ask questions about why does your significant other feel ashamed of you.
WolvenEars90
November 14th, 2015 7:04am
You should really sit down with your partner and talk about how they make you feel. How do you make them ashamed of you? What can you do to make things better? You won't know anything unless you both talk as a couple.
talking2country
November 14th, 2015 7:41am
I would suggest you talk about it with him or her and figure out why they feel that way about you..?
Anonymous
November 14th, 2015 7:54am
Feeling ashamed to be someone's boy- or girlfriend is not the way you should feel in a relationship. The question you might ask him or her is why he/she feels ashamed for you. Is she ashamed due to your lifestyle, is it your job or what is it making her feel that way ? Searching the dialogue with your partner might be the first step to clear up a tension or misunderstanding and improving your relationship
TheonlyVivianx
November 14th, 2015 10:17am
Be proud of who you are regardless of whatever anyone else thinks of you. Hold your head up high because your an amazing person and they are lucky to have you!
gloriousOasis81
November 14th, 2015 1:06pm
If they are ashamed of you then they were never meant for you. They don't deserve you. All you can do is forget about them.
amazingArrow48
November 14th, 2015 1:07pm
I can't imagine how you must feel. From a personal experience, don't blame yourself. It messes with your confidence. Ask him why and see if there's anything you want to improve on yourself.
crispSun13
November 14th, 2015 3:53pm
You're boyfriend is ashamed of you? Ask him many questions about why he is ashamed of you? Ask him what you can do better
Anonymous
November 14th, 2015 5:36pm
You deserve to be appreciated. Talk to them about it, but remember that you're not an embarassment. Even if they say that you are, don't take it straight to heart. What others say about you isn't always true! If they truly love you, they'll accept you for who you are.
LuwUrZelf
November 14th, 2015 7:22pm
Find out the reason why is he/she ashamed of you. Can it be your imagination? If there is nothing to do then maybe you should find someone else in your life who is not ashamed of you.