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My mother hates me and I don't know why. What should I do?

87 Answers
Last Updated: 07/20/2020 at 3:37pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 19th, 2016 10:08am
You have to make your own decision and do what's right for you. If you're family doesn't stand by you, you don't have to listen to them either. No one knows what you are going through but you. In my experience, no one really wanted to believe that my mother was that bad, therefore they chose not to believe me. I held my head high, stood my ground and did not let them sway my decision. Like I said, it was very hard. Good luck.
victor
May 18th, 2016 9:08pm
People parents don't dislike them for no reason. The child must have did something the mom don't like.
Righthere321
January 21st, 2016 12:06am
Talk to your mum. Calmly. Ask her why and tell her how you feel. If it starts getting like a heated discussion or a row...take yourself away until your calmer. Listen to what she is upset about, dont interrupt her, this will just frustrate things more Ask, listen, build. Love.
AskBeth
January 23rd, 2016 4:49pm
Hello, I would like to listen to you and help you as much as I can. You could sit down and chat with your mother and ask her the questions you want answers to and I hope that it helps.
JustMeAndYou
January 14th, 2016 5:55am
Take a deep breath and try if you can to reflect on those who truly care about you, you are a one of a kind and have nothing to worry about, have you spoken to her about it?
PrincessSoapyWaters
February 20th, 2016 5:09am
Why don't you try talking to her and see what she feels? She may not hate you, may just act like it.
Anonymous
April 13th, 2016 5:49am
i am in same situation, i am finished trying to figure this out. the point is, she does hate me. why? because she can't control me. she is a hater and i am the opposite it's all cool, i still liove her, little respect, but love. i refuse to be anything like her . I accept this fact. and i accept her, therefore she should try to do the same
Anonymous
March 16th, 2016 1:45pm
so does mine, and same with alot of friends i know. and sometimes you cant force love into people who refuse to but keep the people who do love you close. Family doesn't always mean blood
Anonymous
January 20th, 2016 8:44pm
I would just be honest and ask her face to face. Worst situation: She tells you why she hates you. Best situation: It turns out your wrong and she actually likes you X
Anonymous
April 10th, 2016 9:32am
If you genuinely don't know why she hates you, and you've tried to see the issue from all perspectives with no avail, maybe it's time to try to talk to her. After all, no one can read other people's minds. The only way to definitely know why is to ask her. Maybe you could find a quiet time and place to sit down with her and have a serious conversation? If this is too uncomfortable for you and you are afraid you'll panic and not know what to say, you could try writing a letter. Another alternative is to have a neutral third party to intervene, such as an mature adult, a good friend or a therapist. I hope this helps you. Good luck.
Anonymous
January 24th, 2016 8:56am
I will try and understand much better the situation and if it's really the case then you should talk to your dad or a member of your family. Or I will help you
joannak44
February 28th, 2016 2:46am
I am certain your mother cares for you so much. Talk to her and tell her how you feel and maybe she will tell you what is going on
SkyeLilyxox
January 15th, 2016 9:35pm
I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way. Maybe you could try talking to her & explaining how you feel. Or perhaps talking it through with a trusted family member or friend & get their advice... There is always someone here at 7 cups to support & listen to you if you ever need it. You are not alone.
ALStella
May 12th, 2016 12:41pm
How can you possibly know for sure? You can't change people, you can only love them. And the cure to hatred is always love. Truth is , people who full of hatred is the one who needed love the most.
Anonymous
January 30th, 2016 5:31pm
A mother can't hate her children. You are her babe. Talk about your feelings and she will understand you.
Greatlistener87
January 27th, 2016 2:55am
Its always good if you can sit her down and talk about it. Ask her directly why she is acting the way she is towards you. But if you have tried that and it doesn't work then it is good if you can create a bit of distance or space between you guys will also be good.
LoverOfHappiness
July 26th, 2016 5:28am
The first thing is to always love yourself first. And it seems silly because a lot of people seem to say this, but that's because it is true. Because once you love yourself you have the amount of strength to face people who may not like you. And the next step is to have a mature conversation with your mother or anyone for that matter as to what issues are on their mind about yourself and see if you can both come to an agreement or compromise to move forward in the relationship.
SmileBeautiful1234
March 12th, 2016 7:37pm
Lots of the time there can be misunderstandings, I think you need to sit down and have a chat with her and see what's up. Remember if things get a little rough in the chat yelling and violence is never the key, if your worried that will happen write a simple note on how you feel and some questions you want answered💘
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 8:33am
I think finding out why your mother allegedly hates you, or if she even does, and talking to her about it and maybe go to a counsellor with her.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 7:10am
Maybe you just feel as though she hates when in reality she probably doesn't ? What about talking to her about how you feel ?
Lotus48
January 20th, 2016 10:40am
Mothers sometimes can have resentments toward their children for whatever reason. The best way to deal with resentment is a combination of time to heal, and communication when there's an opening.
Anonymous
April 8th, 2016 1:06am
Take the time to spend some quality time with her. She will really appreciate that you took the time out of your schedule to spend with her and only her.
FSKindness
April 8th, 2016 7:14am
Maybe you could do things that would make her happy. Doing homework and helping in the house is a great start. Then when she's feeling better maybe you can ask why she's been grumpy lately.
HonestLee
March 18th, 2016 8:53pm
I am not sure why you feel your mother hates you. I think it would be good to talk to her. Sometimes when I think people hate me, they are just stressed about other parts of their life. The only one with that answer is your mom though. If you don't think you can talk to her face to face, try writing her a letter.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 6:56am
Talk to her, it is very unlikely a mother will hate her child, they more often re overprotective and worried for the children and it can be taken as too much.
Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 2:09pm
your mother has given you birth ! a life ! a mother can never hate her kids . May be she is angry with you over something. Just try to talk to her and simplify things. If you are living today , its only because of your mother , never forget that ! she needs your love too as much as you need hers ! just go and hug her and ask her what is it that is bothering her . Hope this helps ! God bless you !
Anonymous
April 7th, 2016 8:10pm
Although it may be difficult try to sit down and speak to each other if you don't feel that can be done have an impartial person help out incase things get heated. The only way to find out is by talking to each other a really good heart to heart and air things out
Anonymous
March 13th, 2016 1:43am
Hate is a very strong word. Perhaps she is having a hard time connecting with you, and?or the other way around? Have you tried having an open conversation with her on this matter?
Anonymous
March 11th, 2016 12:53pm
I understand that you think she feels this way, perhaps it is only the way you see it. Please could you elaborate, why do you think she feels this way? Can you think of anything your mother has done that express her love for you recently?
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2016 5:25am
You have to decide what's best for you. Try to talk to her and work it out, family counseling, or maybe cut her out if your life.