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My mother hates me and I don't know why. What should I do?

87 Answers
Last Updated: 07/20/2020 at 3:37pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
South Africa
Moderated by

Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
March 11th, 2016 12:53pm
I understand that you think she feels this way, perhaps it is only the way you see it. Please could you elaborate, why do you think she feels this way? Can you think of anything your mother has done that express her love for you recently?
March 13th, 2016 1:43am
Hate is a very strong word. Perhaps she is having a hard time connecting with you, and?or the other way around? Have you tried having an open conversation with her on this matter?
March 18th, 2016 8:53pm
I am not sure why you feel your mother hates you. I think it would be good to talk to her. Sometimes when I think people hate me, they are just stressed about other parts of their life. The only one with that answer is your mom though. If you don't think you can talk to her face to face, try writing her a letter.
March 19th, 2016 9:57am
If you think there is a problem with her and you want to solve it, choose a good moment and talk to her. Ask your mother why is she upset with you, be calm and open and try to understand his point. Tell your mother you want to have a normal relationship with her, everybody wants to be loved, eventually she will understand and things will be better.
March 20th, 2016 2:09pm
your mother has given you birth ! a life ! a mother can never hate her kids . May be she is angry with you over something. Just try to talk to her and simplify things. If you are living today , its only because of your mother , never forget that ! she needs your love too as much as you need hers ! just go and hug her and ask her what is it that is bothering her . Hope this helps ! God bless you !
March 26th, 2016 6:56am
Talk to her, it is very unlikely a mother will hate her child, they more often re overprotective and worried for the children and it can be taken as too much.
March 30th, 2016 6:29pm
has anything happened between you two? Try talking it out with her if she is willing. See if she has a reason and if you can help in any way. I'm sure she doesn't hate you at all, it might just seen that way.
April 3rd, 2016 5:25am
You have to decide what's best for you. Try to talk to her and work it out, family counseling, or maybe cut her out if your life.
April 5th, 2016 1:43am
You should talk to her. It may seem that she hates you, but if she did, why would she continue with you? Maybe you guys went in a bad start.
April 7th, 2016 8:10pm
Although it may be difficult try to sit down and speak to each other if you don't feel that can be done have an impartial person help out incase things get heated. The only way to find out is by talking to each other a really good heart to heart and air things out
April 8th, 2016 12:48pm
I have had a similar issue. My advice is that you go talk to your mother, dialogue is the best way to resolve such problems according to me ! Good luck
April 15th, 2016 3:27am
Talk to her. There are a lot of things you can just solve by being kind and talking to each other. Be loving and be genuine
April 17th, 2016 7:35am
Sit her down and have a heart to heart conversation. Explain to her how you feel and how you're interpreting her actions/words yo make sure you are right and not assuming wrong. Depending on her response continue the conversation by asking "why" questions. Don't be forceful or show any anger.m, because it might make her upset,etc.
April 22nd, 2016 6:39pm
You should talk to her and figure out what she had in her heart and why she start to hate you. Because every action was based of some kind of mechanism
April 27th, 2016 4:17am
I don't think she hates you, I think you need to tell her how you feel. No one has the write to hurt us like this or make us feel less. So I truly think you need to tell her how this makes you feel.
April 28th, 2016 5:51pm
Sit your mother down to have a serious discussion with her, Ask her what her problem is and why she is so upset with you, But express your feelings as well.
May 8th, 2016 12:51pm
Consult a therapist with your mother if she is willing. Regardless of what the situation is, the best thing to do is to accept the reality, come to peace with it and make something positive of it :)
May 11th, 2016 6:21pm
I have found that most of the time people think a parent hates them, the parent doesn't actually hate them. It is possible that your mother has a hard time communicating with you. You should think about talking with her and asking her why her behaviour is the way it is.
May 11th, 2016 8:09pm
Your mother doesn't actually hate you, she just wants you to succeed and she doesn't know how to do that without hurting you or giving you criticism. Show her some love, and maybe she will see you are perfect just the way you are!
May 13th, 2016 2:56pm
Talk to her. Let her know how you feel and listen to how she feels. You might find out that doesn't hate you at all.
May 18th, 2016 2:55pm
She's just stressed and may take it out on the people around her which in this case may be you.
May 19th, 2016 5:22am
Try and talk to her about it. Something must be bothering her in order for her to feel distressed and angry with you, ask her why she's feeling like she is. Maybe letting her know you've realised her anger/sadness will relieve her
May 19th, 2016 12:50pm
An eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind. Show her a side of you that leave her with no choice but to accept you. Remember, love and compassion are most powerful forces. Do not let her actions deter your kindness, be gentle to the woman who went through challenges, unknown to you, to give birth and cater for you. You may never understand her situation, which may even make it more difficult for you, but remember, nothing good ever came easy.
June 27th, 2016 2:47am
Trying siting down and asking your mother why she feels that way about you. If it helps you can try talking to a therapist and doing family sessions so you are in a neutral setting. The best way to answer this is to open up the communication lines between you and her. I hope this helps!
October 10th, 2016 12:45pm
First off, are you sure she really hates you or maybe isn't stressed with you or something else in her life? Secondly, try to have a talk with her.
November 21st, 2017 5:11pm
Have a talk with her, tell her how you feel. It could be a misunderstanding. Sometimes people act negatively towards others when they are dealing with something personal.
July 20th, 2020 3:37pm
Ah, that's unfortunate. I apologize that you are in such a terrible situation without knowing why..- do you have any suspicions as to why your mother feels that specific way to you? If you are unsure and are still confused as to why she feels that way, I suggest trying to have a sit-down chat with your mother and make both your feelings and thoughts clear to each other. I know that it's important to have a strong relationship with your parents and with having a chat, I hope you clear up any doubts that you may have with your mother.