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My mother hates me and I don't know why. What should I do?

87 Answers
Last Updated: 07/20/2020 at 3:37pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
South Africa
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Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
February 2nd, 2016 5:10pm
Find out the root of the problem. Communicate with the parent and express how you feel and why s/he feels that way. However, if they become overwhelmed with anger leave them be to calm down. If it gets to the point of physical struggle and feel as if you may be harmed call authorities so that you are able to get into a safe environment. In contrast, when talking calmly to a parent ask questions and try to get a full understanding of what is the root of the hatred. If and when the understanding is clear try to find a solution to the problem.
February 4th, 2016 7:13am
Hey don't think negative, maybe it's a wrong time and she's just upset. If it helps confront her.
February 5th, 2016 6:02pm
Well what you could do is maybe go up to her and ask if you can talk privately and start a conversation and then maybe ask , is there a reason you could hate me.
February 6th, 2016 2:22pm
You need to talk with her ask her what you have to change or why she hate you ...but without conversation you are in nowhere.
February 7th, 2016 11:36am
First you have to try to know the cause. She might be just very depressed or something. Try to help her out with whatever it is. If everything fails, try to move out. Best of luck.
February 9th, 2016 8:11pm
You should talk to her! Make sure you both know what's going on. Maybe there was a problem in the past.
February 10th, 2016 7:37pm
Maybe talk to her and ask her why she hates you, and that is the only thing you can do yourself to understand why she hates you. If you find out why she hates you, try to change it. For example if she hates you because you cause trouble at school then be good at school. Another way could be telling the school and asking them politely to ring your mom up and ask her a few questions. Or ask a friends parent if you aren't in school.
February 11th, 2016 1:23pm
No mother can hate her child. The key to your relationship would be communication. Talk to her, ask her how she feels and share how you feel. You guys will understand each other and work through your relationship.
February 13th, 2016 10:11am
The first thing you could do is have a serious talk with her. Ask her why she's so upset with you, be kind and understanding to her, if you've done anything that has irritated her feel free to apologize and show that you care about her.
February 13th, 2016 5:20pm
Your mom loves you no matter what she says or does. parents go through emotional phases in there lives just like everyone else. Its normal. Sit down and talk to her about how you feel about the situation. Tell her that you understand the stress she may be going through. Try spending more time with her , and make daily conversations. Let her know that you love her very much , and try to help out around the house more. Avoid getting in fights with her , and try not to say anything negative to her. Build a better relationship with her, I know it seems its impossible I have the same relationship with my mom.
February 18th, 2016 6:14am
Mothers don't just hate their kids for no reason. Most moms don't hate their kids at all. Communication in key. Maybe something is bothering your mom that may not even be about you but about something she's going through. Talk to your mom and find out what the problem maybe and try and find a solution together
February 19th, 2016 5:15am
How did you know that she hates you? There is a reason why she is like that to you. To find out why, there is nothing more effective than communication. Talk to her and tell her how you feel.
February 19th, 2016 8:12am
You should try to talk to her asking her why she holds these emotions towards you.If the situation is an abusive one you need to leave it.
February 19th, 2016 5:28pm
Sometimes we think our parents don't like us because they are being unkind to us. In reality, they don't hate us, but are responding to some difficulty that is happening in their world. The best way to handle it is to ask, "Do you love me?" They might say, "Of course, why do you ask?" Then we can share how we felt about our most recent interaction. In return, we may find out what difficulties they are experiencing in their lives.
February 19th, 2016 7:54pm
Hello dear, What makes you think that your mother hates you? Have you tried talking to her about it? :)
February 20th, 2016 10:11am
Talk to her about how you feel. They must be a reason on why you think she hates you. She might be going through a hard time. Talk to her.
February 20th, 2016 11:17pm
Your mother doesn't hate you. I promise you that. Talk to her and try to see what's going on. If you think there's a wall then be honest with her.
February 24th, 2016 12:11pm
Talk to your mother, in a sit down conversation and discuss your feelings and why you feel this way too
February 24th, 2016 5:13pm
Sit down with her and open up to her about how're you are feeling. I'm sure she doesn't hate you. As a mother I know that when we go through something we hide it from our kids. Maybe something is going on in her life and she is being distant without even knowing it.
February 24th, 2016 7:30pm
What do you think provokes your mother for this behaviour and under what circumstances you feel this attitude?
February 25th, 2016 12:24pm
Find a time where you both are free and speak out your inner thoughts aloud,she will eventually tell you the reason.
February 28th, 2016 6:11am
Tell her it feels like she has a negative opinion of you and ask if that's accurate and ask what she's thinking
March 2nd, 2016 6:19am
Think about how you feel towards her. Forgive her, love her, do not let yourself sink to her level. It is not your fault she doesn't like you. No matter what you did! It is her inability to let go and forgive that made her heart hardened... don't let that happen to you. And pray for her heart*** Love her more, because she needs it, not because she deserves it.
March 2nd, 2016 5:02pm
Talk to her, one on one, I don't think she really hates you. Raising a teenager can be hard for any parent, you just need to try to figure out and solve the problem
March 6th, 2016 4:17am
If you don't know why it might not even be you she is mad at. Try to talk it over with her, keep an open mind and keep calm.
March 6th, 2016 9:36am
Try sitting down with your mother and discussing how you feel. Maybe your mom doesn't even realize how she may be acting towards you to make you feel that way.
March 6th, 2016 10:18pm
Sometimes, we feel like someone is hating us, but we can't be sure about their feelings if we don't ask them. I think that you should try to talk to your mom, ask her if you have done something that could have upset her. If it's the case, you'll be able to discuss it with her. If it's not the case, she'll tell you. Communication is the key. Good luck !
March 9th, 2016 10:48pm
Talk to your mother, that is the best thing you can do. If you do not understand the resentment she has towards you, the best thing you can do is to just remove her from your life.
March 10th, 2016 5:25am
The first step is to talk to her. 9/10 problems can be solved just by communication. Remember to act calmly as anger can only worsen the situation.
March 11th, 2016 11:56am
Hi, If i was in your position, maybe i will tall with my mother! its possible (and common) that problems like this happened because of simple miss underestanding!