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My parents keep fighting, what can I do about it?

37 Answers
Last Updated: 02/13/2018 at 1:01pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD


I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
October 28th, 2014 9:41am
Tell them.Tell them that you don't like it when they fight and it makes you feel uncomfortable and you feel scared
November 5th, 2014 11:58am
It's normal to have conflict in relationships, and sometimes that can lead to fighting. But all relationships are different, and it's difficult to have one solution that fits all problems. However, with a bit of preparation and the right attitude, it is possible that you can move them slightly closer towards positive communication, and maybe eventually less tension. Talk it through with a listener... they will be able to help you come up with ideas about things you could do.
October 29th, 2014 11:39am
Ask them to sit down and try talking it out with them tell them how their fighting is effecting you.
September 11th, 2014 7:34pm
Sit down and talk to them. Tell them how it's making you feel. No parent wants to see their child hurting. From my experience thats the best thing to do.
September 28th, 2014 9:32am
Well, there is not much you can do, because it is between them. But you can sit down with them and have calm chat about the situation with them. Tell them this bothers you .and then take it from there.
October 23rd, 2014 3:18pm
Write a letter to them, via post office, or test them, or try getting closer to them. Care for both, and slowly talk to them and say how happy you are with their condition. It will take longer time but, sooner or later it will work fixing their relation.
October 28th, 2014 3:26pm
There really isn't anything you can do since the issue is between your parents. Perhaps you can try asking you parents if they would like seeks some help whether it be from a counselor or a relgious figure.
October 28th, 2014 7:26pm
There are all kinds of fighting. Some is for a good reason. Maybe they need to work through some challenges. I hope they are being somewhat constructive and mature about how they fight, with an eye toward resolution and trust building. If they are not, then just realize that you love them and they are imperfect (just like everyone else). It's probably best not to take sides.
November 1st, 2014 8:37pm
Please talk with someone you trust, know that your parents fights are not your fault, and keep yourself safe!
November 2nd, 2014 3:04am
I tell will tell them separately how their argument makes me feel. I will remind them how their love for each other has been in the past, and that "I love you", and "I am sorry" are 2 very strong phrases that are often forgotten between families.
November 2nd, 2014 5:56pm
There's very little you can do to actual stop the fighting, unfortunately. However, that does not mean you have to sit there and let their troubles unfairly impact you. Be honest with your parents about how their fighting makes you feel. Ask them if they need support, remember that they're people too, but do not get in the middle of their issues or take sides. It's a crappy situation to be in, but you are under absolutely no obligation to 'fix' them or their relationship.
November 8th, 2014 4:14am
Pick a time when both parents are together and everyone is in a pretty good mood. Then ask them if you can talk to them for a few minutes. Tell them that because you love them so much their fighting really upsets you. Tell them exactly how their fighting is affecting you. Do not be offensive; simply tell them how their fighting is affecting you.
November 13th, 2014 8:28am
Sit them both down and tell them to sort their issues out when you're not around as it's causing you large amounts of pain and grief.
November 13th, 2014 11:31pm
Talk to them about it and let them know the effect it's having on you, and maybe you guys can come to a resolution together!
November 16th, 2014 9:44pm
Try and talk to them about the way this is making you feel, maybe they will understand that it is making you upset.
November 17th, 2014 12:13am
This must be a very difficult situation. I would suggest you talked to another trusted adult ie a teacher for a bit more support.
November 17th, 2014 10:15am
There isn't really anything that you can do to stop it, but the best way to cope is to try and get out of the house or leave the room when they are fighting
November 20th, 2014 6:36am
Recognize that it's not your fault, and maybe talk to a trusted adult or friend about the discomfort you're feeling about it.
March 14th, 2015 11:02am
Tell them that thair fight dont just goes around you. Tell them you hear every word they say and that you want to be the family you was back then, when everything was good. Help them to remember the time before the fights, and they will notice how good their life was with the love they got.
April 3rd, 2015 9:55pm
Try to ask them to solve things or have an open heart conversation with them and tell them how you're being effected by their relationship.
April 12th, 2015 6:40pm
I've had this problem before myself. I had to tell them that enough was enough and that the fighting was ripping the family apart. Although I had to yell, I made my point across loud and clear. Also, family counseling can help.
April 16th, 2015 3:10pm
The best thing you can do in your position is to see it from both sides and never take sides. There's always two sides to one story and the best thing to do is to be the logical person. As the outsider of the argument, you can see things clearly. Listen to what each other have to say about the other (one person at a time on their own) and tell them what you think about the situation without taking sides. It all depends on what they're arguing about but at the end of the day, all some people need is someone who can see both sides and help to make sense of the feelings and thoughts they have.
April 16th, 2015 10:09pm
Try confronting them. Be direct, tell your parents its bothering you, they them how it makes you feel. It's better they know than for you to suffer in silence.
April 25th, 2015 8:00am
Talk to them. Talk about your feelings about this situation. Maybe then they will understand what consequences their fights have.
May 15th, 2015 9:16am
I feel so sorry that you are in this situation. it must be very hard for you. But you should know that every husband and wife fights. this happens to every family. So take this easy. The reason why they are fighting is that the two wont compromise for each other. They keep their ieal and wont change for the other. You should know that no one can force or make your parents to change. Your parents either keep fighting or recognize themselves. The best thing you can do, is to talk to them, privately with each person to sincerely know why they are angry, and dont judge them, say that they are right even though you think they are worng. that's the best thing to you can do for them , that is to understand them, and wait for them solve the problem themselfves. as your part, try to take a good care of yourself, academically or physically, etc.. Your parents are fighting, you must be the strong one. After you take good care of yourself, take care of the family. Patienly wait, everything gonna be fine if you do your part well. I believe everything of yours gonna be fine. I wish you all the best luck.
May 20th, 2015 7:30pm
Intervention seems to be a good idea
May 30th, 2015 1:45am
I think that the best thing to do is not interfere at the time. This sounds difficult, I know, but just pop your earphones into your ears for the time being, and then after tell your parents that it pains you and makes you feel sad when they are arguing, and you can have a heart to heart chat about it.
June 5th, 2015 11:49am
Witnessing parents fighting is always a difficult and delicate subject. The first thing you can do is talk to them when they are not fighting. Share your feelings thoughts and fears with them. Try to help them understand how fighting affects you. If do not feel comfortable then speak to the parent with whom you feel more close to. Another thing you can do is talk to another relative and ask them to talk to them on your behalf. Unfortunately how they choose to treat each other is not up to you! What they do it's between them.
June 23rd, 2015 8:47pm
Ask them if they would both sit down with you and explain to them how their fighting is making you feel and how its affecting you
August 31st, 2015 5:50pm
There's only so much we can do in these situations, fortunately and unfortunately. It's primarily important to understand that it's not your fault, parents fight, and we can learn from their mistakes as to how we don't want to communicate. What you can do is protect yourself, whatever that looks like. Sometimes, it's okay to speak, in a safe way at a safe time what kind of impact your parents are having on you when they fight, but never with the expectation that you can fix their issues. Good luck, and stay self-compassionate!