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My parents keep fighting, what can I do about it?

37 Answers
Last Updated: 02/13/2018 at 1:01pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Danielle Gonzales, PsyD

Psychologist

Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 28th, 2014 9:41am
Tell them.Tell them that you don't like it when they fight and it makes you feel uncomfortable and you feel scared
Anonymous
November 5th, 2014 11:58am
It's normal to have conflict in relationships, and sometimes that can lead to fighting. But all relationships are different, and it's difficult to have one solution that fits all problems. However, with a bit of preparation and the right attitude, it is possible that you can move them slightly closer towards positive communication, and maybe eventually less tension. Talk it through with a listener... they will be able to help you come up with ideas about things you could do.
Anonymous
October 29th, 2014 11:39am
Ask them to sit down and try talking it out with them tell them how their fighting is effecting you.
DipityEnigma
April 16th, 2015 3:10pm
The best thing you can do in your position is to see it from both sides and never take sides. There's always two sides to one story and the best thing to do is to be the logical person. As the outsider of the argument, you can see things clearly. Listen to what each other have to say about the other (one person at a time on their own) and tell them what you think about the situation without taking sides. It all depends on what they're arguing about but at the end of the day, all some people need is someone who can see both sides and help to make sense of the feelings and thoughts they have.
MarcoTheCreativeGuy
March 14th, 2015 11:02am
Tell them that thair fight dont just goes around you. Tell them you hear every word they say and that you want to be the family you was back then, when everything was good. Help them to remember the time before the fights, and they will notice how good their life was with the love they got.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2015 10:09pm
Try confronting them. Be direct, tell your parents its bothering you, they them how it makes you feel. It's better they know than for you to suffer in silence.
LadyElisabeth
April 25th, 2015 8:00am
Talk to them. Talk about your feelings about this situation. Maybe then they will understand what consequences their fights have.
KathyTheHealer
May 15th, 2015 9:16am
I feel so sorry that you are in this situation. it must be very hard for you. But you should know that every husband and wife fights. this happens to every family. So take this easy. The reason why they are fighting is that the two wont compromise for each other. They keep their ieal and wont change for the other. You should know that no one can force or make your parents to change. Your parents either keep fighting or recognize themselves. The best thing you can do, is to talk to them, privately with each person to sincerely know why they are angry, and dont judge them, say that they are right even though you think they are worng. that's the best thing to you can do for them , that is to understand them, and wait for them solve the problem themselfves. as your part, try to take a good care of yourself, academically or physically, etc.. Your parents are fighting, you must be the strong one. After you take good care of yourself, take care of the family. Patienly wait, everything gonna be fine if you do your part well. I believe everything of yours gonna be fine. I wish you all the best luck.
Glareofyesterday
May 20th, 2015 7:30pm
Intervention seems to be a good idea
Anonymous
May 30th, 2015 1:45am
I think that the best thing to do is not interfere at the time. This sounds difficult, I know, but just pop your earphones into your ears for the time being, and then after tell your parents that it pains you and makes you feel sad when they are arguing, and you can have a heart to heart chat about it.
Anonymous
June 5th, 2015 11:49am
Witnessing parents fighting is always a difficult and delicate subject. The first thing you can do is talk to them when they are not fighting. Share your feelings thoughts and fears with them. Try to help them understand how fighting affects you. If do not feel comfortable then speak to the parent with whom you feel more close to. Another thing you can do is talk to another relative and ask them to talk to them on your behalf. Unfortunately how they choose to treat each other is not up to you! What they do it's between them.
biancaj
June 23rd, 2015 8:47pm
Ask them if they would both sit down with you and explain to them how their fighting is making you feel and how its affecting you
heartfulleigh60
August 31st, 2015 5:50pm
There's only so much we can do in these situations, fortunately and unfortunately. It's primarily important to understand that it's not your fault, parents fight, and we can learn from their mistakes as to how we don't want to communicate. What you can do is protect yourself, whatever that looks like. Sometimes, it's okay to speak, in a safe way at a safe time what kind of impact your parents are having on you when they fight, but never with the expectation that you can fix their issues. Good luck, and stay self-compassionate!
PoliteOcean
September 7th, 2015 9:49pm
Well that can be a hard question to answer when you of course are the child. You could try talking with them together and letting you know how you feel and how it makes you feel to seem them fight. Good Luck.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2015 11:53pm
I would tell both your parents that you don't like the fact that they're fighting. It's hard because a lot of parents put their kids in the middle of their fights.
Twinklestars
November 9th, 2015 2:51am
Explain to your parents it's upsetting you watching/hearing them fight. Talk to your mum or dad alone and maybe ask what it is their arguing about and see if you can help. Sometimes it can be something as simple as cleaning up and you can always take the stress away by helping :)
Anonymous
June 7th, 2016 10:18pm
If they are having problems, they need to sort it out themselves. There's not a lot you can do; you can't fix their relationship.
Anonymous
March 27th, 2017 10:51pm
Sadly, there is really nothing you can do but be there for them. A lot of parents fight, but you have to remember that it is not your fault and they will work things out themselves
Will22
November 7th, 2017 6:11am
The best way to handle parents fighting is to talk to them. Tell them how it makes you feel and what your thoughts are about it. If it bothers you, explain it to them. Tell them that you support them both and want to help make things better. Hopefully, your talks will spark a better relationship between them.
ITJoy64
February 13th, 2018 1:01pm
You can decide to talk to your parents about their fighting at a right time, tell them how it makes you feel, and tell them what you expect from them as parents.
MariaX
November 13th, 2014 8:28am
Sit them both down and tell them to sort their issues out when you're not around as it's causing you large amounts of pain and grief.
Lienki
September 28th, 2014 9:32am
Well, there is not much you can do, because it is between them. But you can sit down with them and have calm chat about the situation with them. Tell them this bothers you .and then take it from there.
Seremonia
October 23rd, 2014 3:18pm
Write a letter to them, via post office, or test them, or try getting closer to them. Care for both, and slowly talk to them and say how happy you are with their condition. It will take longer time but, sooner or later it will work fixing their relation.
WonderlandDream3
October 28th, 2014 3:26pm
There really isn't anything you can do since the issue is between your parents. Perhaps you can try asking you parents if they would like seeks some help whether it be from a counselor or a relgious figure.
GoodGuyChad
October 28th, 2014 7:26pm
There are all kinds of fighting. Some is for a good reason. Maybe they need to work through some challenges. I hope they are being somewhat constructive and mature about how they fight, with an eye toward resolution and trust building. If they are not, then just realize that you love them and they are imperfect (just like everyone else). It's probably best not to take sides.
Anonymous
November 1st, 2014 8:37pm
Please talk with someone you trust, know that your parents fights are not your fault, and keep yourself safe!
calmMuse
November 2nd, 2014 3:04am
I tell will tell them separately how their argument makes me feel. I will remind them how their love for each other has been in the past, and that "I love you", and "I am sorry" are 2 very strong phrases that are often forgotten between families.
DouglasListens
November 2nd, 2014 5:56pm
There's very little you can do to actual stop the fighting, unfortunately. However, that does not mean you have to sit there and let their troubles unfairly impact you. Be honest with your parents about how their fighting makes you feel. Ask them if they need support, remember that they're people too, but do not get in the middle of their issues or take sides. It's a crappy situation to be in, but you are under absolutely no obligation to 'fix' them or their relationship.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2014 4:14am
Pick a time when both parents are together and everyone is in a pretty good mood. Then ask them if you can talk to them for a few minutes. Tell them that because you love them so much their fighting really upsets you. Tell them exactly how their fighting is affecting you. Do not be offensive; simply tell them how their fighting is affecting you.
Zinnia
April 12th, 2015 6:40pm
I've had this problem before myself. I had to tell them that enough was enough and that the fighting was ripping the family apart. Although I had to yell, I made my point across loud and clear. Also, family counseling can help.