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How can you tell if you are a boy or a girl, or something else entirely?

210 Answers
Last Updated: 11/22/2020 at 7:58pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 4:21pm
Well, what do you feel like? It isn't always that easy, but sometimes it can be as simple as letting your guard down and using whatever pronoun that comes to mind. Ask yourself if it feels natural.
Inthismomentweareinfinite
July 1st, 2015 5:57pm
You do what you feel. Honestly it's just something you kind of know; be what you feel comfortable being.
Noah88
July 1st, 2015 9:40pm
If you want to know what someone identifies as and you're not sure, the best way to find out is by asking them. There's a difference between gender identity and presentation, and they don't always have to overlap -- which means assuming can lead to some uncomfortable situations. If you ask, you'll like have made someone's day better by being open and respectful about their identity.
RainStorm226
July 2nd, 2015 5:07pm
It's a personal decision. Gender is a social construct, so choose the label that feels right to you.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 5:08pm
What it entails to be either a boy or girl on a superficial societal level appear to be very simple. However, on an educated level they really aren't. There are so many levels of masculinity and femininity that it simply isn't a case of "okay you have male genitals, therefore you're a man". If you have a strong feeling that you are not cisgender, or fit to the norms of the dichotomy of gender roles, then cling onto that feeling. Learn to learn about yourself, who you feel you are. I think the best sign, is a name. If you'd rather have a name of the opposite sex/gender, or perhaps would rather wear the clothes of the opposite sex/gender, then go from there but always trust your instincts.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 8:47pm
For me, it's about finding myself. Thinking: Who am I and who do I want to be and what do I identify as? Maybe the question to start with is "Am I 100% comfortable with what I call myself now (in this case, the gender identity you were given at birth)?" I yes, that's great, you're set. Don't change a thing. If no, the internet is your best friend (even more so now). There are thousands of articles about the different gender identities that exist. Go read up until you find the description that matches how you feel about yourself. Go discover yourself. Happy reading my lovelies.
LyricalBabin
July 3rd, 2015 1:32am
Only you can figure out who you are . Sometimes that takes awhile . What do you feel comfortable as ?
BLMlove15
July 3rd, 2015 4:04am
I can't answer that for you. I suggest doing some research, and explore your identity. Youtube has a lot of videos that cover plenty of identities.
Em
July 3rd, 2015 8:17pm
If deep inside you feel like you identify more with the way society views girls, you can identify as a girl. If deep inside, you feel like you identify more with society's view of what it means to be a boy, you can identify as a boy. If deep down, you feel like you're a little of both, sometimes this and sometimes that, neither, or something else entirely — you can identify as that. Gender IS fluid, always, so any decision of how you identify yourself can change as your feelings change. It's okay to feel confused, to feel unsure, and to explore. It's welcome. Good luck!
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 11:22pm
You''ll know when you feel weird about the gender you are associated with. It's an odd thing you feel so you won't know immediately. But it's okay. Whatever you are, you are still you.
Emily619
July 4th, 2015 1:16am
You can tell if you are a boy or girl, or something else entirely by going by your gut instinct. If you are, for example, a girl that is stuck in a guy's body, then you are a girl. Or vice versa, a guy stuck in a girl's body, then you are a guy. Birth gender doesn't define your actual gender. You could be something else entirely if you feel that you aren't either gender, or maybe both.
beautifulHand49
July 4th, 2015 3:24pm
You can tell by if you identify with one of the many genders, including male, female, transgender and agender.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 4:41pm
i guess its all about how you feel inside. do you feel like a boy?a girl? both? none? according to the answer you give you can start there. your answer can also be "i dont know" and in that case start by solving that
Hannah1121
July 4th, 2015 5:31pm
I think you have to really listen to yourself on the inside. What ever feels comfortable to you, is what you are. Experimenting with gender is a completely okay thing to, and it is important to understand that your gender identity can change. It is fluid, as is sexuality.
MikeyMouse
July 4th, 2015 9:00pm
There is no need to label yourself, about gender or anything else. From personal experience, I went without labels for a few years, until i realised who i truly was. I took days to lay face down on the floor (but i highly do not recommend this) thinking about in the future, who i wanted to be. Did i wanted to be known as a boy or a girl or someone else. Did i want to live a life as boy or a girl or someone else. The best way is to think about what is going to make you happy.
Park2015
July 5th, 2015 6:17am
In my honest opinion it's what you consider yourself to be. I guess you just tell by what you feel that you are in your heart
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 9:48am
Think to yourself, what do I feel like? Do I feel like I should've been a -gender-? Would that be more natural to me? Would that make me happier?
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 6:49pm
You might be about to tell by how a person may speak or how they dress. You can also find out by their facial features and the face structure
peachysunny
July 5th, 2015 8:44pm
what you feel in your heart. just look up all genders on google and see what fits best with what is in your heart
generousSpace17
July 5th, 2015 10:12pm
It can be as easy as looking at a list of genders and seeing what fits or as hard as deeply contemplating and figuring out how you feel inside, basically you just need to be informed of your options. And not many people know their options.
JoyfulHeart822
July 8th, 2015 12:01am
Be yourself. Dress the way that makes you happy, do the things that make you happy. Worry about labels later. The answers may not come as soon as you want them to, but they will come in time.
Supergirl94
July 8th, 2015 2:30am
Anatomy is not always a way to tell what gender you are. Go by your personality, what you like most and if deep down you feel more like a girl or a boy :) You may feel like you are both and that is okay :)
Aviendha
July 8th, 2015 4:34pm
Gender does not equate to biological sex. This being said, you can tell if you are a boy, girl, or something else just by what you feel you are; what you identify as.
DipityEnigma
July 8th, 2015 5:23pm
This question has multiple possible answers. If you're looking to look into this yourself about yourself, you could try some quizzes that help you look into who you may be.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 5:24pm
You can tell if you're a boy or a girl or something else, by taking a second to really feel, and look in the mirror, and just think of what makes you happy. You don't have to have any labels, just be YOU. Whatever feels right.
Boontea
July 8th, 2015 9:41pm
I personally am not 100% boy or 100% girl. I believe most people have alot of personality traits, male and female and more. Its like an army of Males, Females, Robots, Pets, and Energy-beings inside every Person. And thats why it would be weird to claim to be 100% male. then again maybe thats just me. also i think everyone has a "major me" (or "major you") which is the main ... charackter if you so like. And if thats male than its likely that you will define yourself as mostly male. I dont know if you can really tell for sure... i guess you just "know" at some point what fits best if anything.
Gilbertron
July 9th, 2015 12:01am
Well, since I'm genderfluid its all based on how you feel in my opinion. It might not be that way for others, though.
ArisThuMan
July 9th, 2015 6:28am
Gender is very subjective. I would say that it is unnecessary to identify as either if you don't feel like a man or a woman. Normally the defining attributes would be based upon how elegant or sturdy you feel you are, or if you tend to be more dominant or submissive. It is all very vague and stereotypical though, so it is difficult to truly define what a boy or a girl is. Nobody can tell you who you are better than yourself, so I think self-discovery is needed in order for you to understand.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2015 11:24am
Only yourself can tell that because you are you. No one else can tell you because your opinion is the best opinion.
boo
July 9th, 2015 12:45pm
If you are not comfortable with your gender or if you you do not have the gender in reality from your brain, it means that you are not satisfied with your gender, you want to be another gender. The gender that you want to be, or the gender in your brain is what you are.