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How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/14/2021 at 10:14pm
How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?
★ This question about LGBTQ+ Issues was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
CallMeOllie
January 27th, 2016 3:35am
It is whatever your attraction is strongest towards if your bisexual then you will have equal attraction to both sexes where as a gay person will have an extremely strong attraction to men and a lesbian would have an extremely strong attraction to women
Anonymous
February 10th, 2016 2:25am
You start to find out as the time passes, But you really need labels?, If you love someone it won't matter if they are the same sex or different. If you really want to know, you need to try going out with diferent people, experiment! It won't hurt you.
SummerStxrs
February 12th, 2016 4:31am
Sexuality is fluid, but it's always more assuring, knowing that there's a certain word for the way you're different from the “norm.” However, it can be a bit tricky to settle on a certain label. Many people question their sexuality and there's no age limit as to when someone may figure out if they're queer. The deciding factor that most people rely on, however, is what sex they orient towards. More specifically, what sex they are sexually attracted to. If a male is attracted to another male more often than he is to a female, he may be homosexual. However, if he is also attracted to females (there is no certain proportion of attraction to each sex; ex: NOT 50% attracted to males and 50% attracted to females), he may consider himself bisexual. The same may apply to women.
LovingAngel2002
April 9th, 2018 12:15pm
Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, ECT. Is all about experimenting. Coming out can be very scary. Being in the LGBT community is really great. Everyone is loving and sweet. Knowing what you are, deals with who you love. If you to date females romantically and like guys sexually, you are gayromantic and heterosexual. Who you love or like is all apon you.
Anonymous
June 19th, 2015 6:09am
Gay is if you're male and only interested in other males. Lesbian is if you're female and only interested in other females. Unless you're not sure about your gender identity it should be pretty easy to eliminate at least one of these two. Bisexual is if you're attracted to two (or sometimes more) genders.
Moomoo93
June 19th, 2015 7:59pm
This is hard. But I believe you know deep down. If you are looking at a person and you feel sexually attracted/aroused by them, and this is a repeat thing with that sex - then you are attracted to that sex. If this happens with both sexes, then you are bi! A lot of people can confuse what I call 'crushes' for being gay or lesbian, sometimes girls do genuinely experience what I would call a 'girl-crush' and boys a 'man-crush' but it doesn't necessarily mean you are gay/lesbian/bi. I think if over a long period of time you find yourself being sexually aroused about this gender, and also visualizing a relationship with a person of this sex then it is more significant. You know in your heart what you really feel. And sometimes its very scary to admit these feelings because, inevitably, life is still hard for someone who is gay/lesbian/bisexual because the world (sadly) hasn't totally adjusted yet. But don't let that stop you identifying your feelings, they are there and they may not go away. Embrace, and love them, and you know what you feel.
HelperBee
June 19th, 2015 10:01pm
Well, the first step is trying not to label yourself right away. It can be difficult not knowing what you "are", but it's best to feel 110% sure about WHAT you are feeling towards others, before you give yourself a label. A lot of research can help validate your feelings, or talking to accepting friends. Feelings first, labels later.
CinnaBunnyHelps
June 20th, 2015 6:46am
Others can’t tell you for sure whether you’re gay or not – that’s something that you have to figure out on your own. Some people say they have known that they were gay since they were little kids, and for others, it takes a little bit longer to come to that conclusion. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen. Have you ever had a crush on your gender? Think about it – it sounds like you do, but you might not want to admit it. Are your feelings of attraction towards your gender stronger than your feelings for the opposite gender? Imagine yourself kissing a girl and then imagine kissing a guy – which is more exciting to you? Consider your future: would you rather be with a man or a woman? How often do you fantasize about girls? Do you think about girls more than guys?
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 11:24am
Everyone's experiences are different but if you start finding yourself being physically or emotionally attracted to someone of the same sex then you most likely don't fit in the straight category. There are plenty of people who go through a phase where they want to "experiment" but if you can imagine yourself in a relationship with the same sex where you actually love each other then you're probably gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Hope this helps!
CasDeanSunshine93
June 20th, 2015 11:20pm
It's about feelings and attractions. You just know. The way you think about and of the other person. If you're gay you would be more attracted to males obviously and if you are lesbian you would be more sexually attracted to females. And Incase of bisexual, both genders would equally attract you. Most people consider it as a sexual attraction only, but in my opinion its all about who you decide to love...
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 8:46pm
From personal experience i just knew i liked men and women without any experimenting, it was more of a gut feeling. For a friend of mine they had to actually try things with people before they had a clue but not everyone is the same so the answer may not be as simple.
AloneAcneLove
June 24th, 2015 8:48am
Its actually based on your behaviour. We will do things that we don't usually does,use or goes to. The most common will be your MIND.
MostColorfulHello
June 25th, 2015 1:17am
gay/lesbian is a preference to one gender while bisexual is being open to both if not more gender types.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 3:28pm
You feel it in your emotions, its something personal to you and in time you may realise it there isn't really a way to know if you are its just what you feel either towards someone or a gender.
writingloveaddy
June 25th, 2015 11:39pm
There is also so many subdivions with sexuality but as you mature you may find you areattracted and experimenting helps until you find what suits you.
Ewaanmuurphyy
June 26th, 2015 4:22am
You will know your sexuality when you see the person(s) you get butterflies with. If you think you may be gay or lesbian or even bisexual and have any questions just ask. Anyone would love to listen.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2015 3:45pm
its sort of just a feeling you get ..............................................................................................................
Anonymous
June 26th, 2015 8:30pm
I guess there is no definitive way of finding out. But over some time you can tell, and feel. Who are you attracted to? Who do you think about? How do you see your future? Think about this over some time? You can never define yourself, and never in one single day. Think about it, and talk to me about it :)
Anonymous
June 27th, 2015 8:46am
Well , according to me, you're gay if you look at a male and feel some sort or attraction to him. You're lesbian if you feel some attraction towards females. You're bisexual if you feel equal attractions to both females and males.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2015 11:32am
You'll start to feel an attraction to the opposite sex or gender. you might fall for them, you might fall in love or a simple crush or you'll find them attractive
Anonymous
June 27th, 2015 4:43pm
Well, depending on your gender, that would determine gay vs lesbian. Someone who is a girl and is attracted to girls is a lesbian. Someone who is a boy and is attracted to boys is gay. Someone who is bisexual is attracted to both boys and girls.
SecretNight25
June 27th, 2015 7:01pm
I have been in a pretty similar position to yours, it took me nearly four years to understand my sexuality. I come from a very conservative family where if two people kiss on the TV I am still told to cover my eyes. I didn't even think of sexuality because I had been raised so carefully not to think about it. So when it finally came to answering all of these scary questions I was nearly panicking, I didn't know if I was gay, or bi, or something else completely. The thing that made all the difference for me, was slowing down and giving myself the time to sort through all my issues at my speed. And that is the best thing I can recommend, give yourself time to work it out. If someone had told me four years ago that I was gay then I would have probably gone into denial all over again. You will get there
OCDLena
June 28th, 2015 5:43am
It's however you feel. You don't habe to label yourself. Just love whoever you choose to love and be happy
misguidedmusic
June 28th, 2015 2:58pm
Many people face the issue of identifying their sexual orientation. The truth is: it takes time to figure out. It doesn't matter how long it takes, however, for you to figure it out so do not feel pressured to do so. I believe that there are two main components to determining whether you are heterosexual or not: emotions and thoughts. To start with, with thought, you may see a member of the same sex and think 'Wow s/he is hot!' but this does not mean that you are gay or bisexual. It is normal for us to recognise other peoples' attractiveness without actually being something other than heterosexual. Often, it shows that you admire that person. Conversely, if you see someone attractive and also genuinely want to date them and do 'couple' things with them, you may not be heterosexual. Furthermore, you need to analyse your emotions. Who have you had a crush on? Have you experienced strong emotional connections to people of the other sex? Or maybe, towards people of the same sex? Or perhaps both? All of these questions can help you determine whether you are attracted to the same sex. Figuring out these things can be difficult but sometimes it just clicks. Don't feel obliged to label yourself. Go out and love, it doesn't matter what you define yourself as. I found that watching LGBT youtubers have helped me determine my own sexual orientation. If you wish, you can ask and I can recommend some that have helped me realise that it's okay to be LGBT and that I will still be loved and accepted. I hope that you figure everything out soon!
Celly13
June 28th, 2015 8:29pm
How do you know? You know when you realise who attracts you. I'm bisexual myself - leaning towards the lesbian side - and I realised it when I thought back on my teenage years. I hadn't heard much about homosexuality so it never really occurred to me, but when I talked to a new classmate in school who said she was lesbian and commented on how one of the other girls looked. I agreed instantly with her rather sexual comment and started thinking. I thought back and realized it had mostly been women I turned my head for in the streets when they passed me. That's how I knew
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 1:45am
It all comes down to who you are attracted to. Give yourself time to explore your sexuality; you don't need to find out right away. Over time, the answer will become more apparent!
BubblyDoll
July 1st, 2015 10:12am
It's up to you to know what you are. No one can tell in your place. Do you ever feel attracted to men? To women? To both? That's the only way you can tell.
DarkestBeforeDawn
July 1st, 2015 11:18am
In truth...don't feel pressure to conform to a label. If you want to know for yourself, think about where your emotions lie, sexuality is all about who you love, not who you have had sexual contact with. Figure out where you are comfortable. Whether you are gay, straight, bi-sexual, pansexual, whatever...sexuality can be fluid, just go with the flow.
HushDarling
July 1st, 2015 7:30pm
There's not really a concrete answer to this. Sexuality is deeply personal; with time and experience it can become clearer, especially once you start to get to know yourself. Attraction and love are fluid things, and eventually your personal preferences will become clear to you. Some people know instantly, others discover it over a period of years. Some never really know. It honestly can vary quite a bit.
Noah88
July 1st, 2015 10:04pm
You might be gay, lesbian or bisexual if you experience romantic attraction (love) and/or sexual attraction (lust) to at least some of the folk identifying with the same gender as you do. If so, you might find yourself looking at people of the same gender and fantasizing about going on dates with them, or being physically close to them, or doing something sexual with them. If you recognize yourself in any of those things, and you like how the label feels, you're free to claim it as your own.