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How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/14/2021 at 10:14pm
How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?
★ This question about LGBTQ+ Issues was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
BLMlove15
July 1st, 2015 10:43pm
You don't have to know right away. If you feel that any of these orientations are a possibility, go ahead and explore the feelings that you may be having.
TalkToMe21
July 2nd, 2015 7:15pm
To be honest, those are just labels, and we should always remember that the label is made to fit the package not the other way around. If you are sexually attracted to the same sex, you're homosexual. If you're sexually attracted to the opposite sex, you're heterosexual. If you're sexually attracted to both sexes, you're bisexual.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 10:07pm
From my own experiences, it takes a lot of thinking, a lot of feeling and just generally accepting the ideas. Experimenting can help too, though that never happened to me. I fell in love with a girl, but I knew for sure that I am still attracted to males. I know a friend who thought she was bisexual or pansexual at first and then realized that she just really really likes girls. So really, in order to tell just listen to your feelings first. It's okay if you change your mind too, you might think you're gay/lesbian and then realize later that you still like the opposite sex. It fluctuates sometimes. Sexuality is sometimes complicated but you have your whole life to figure things out. Don't feel pressured. Feelings first. Just remember that.
SophiaListensToYou
July 3rd, 2015 8:14am
Sometimes it is just a feeling you have had since you were little. Sometimes its because you have had a specific attraction to someone of your same gender. It can vary.
whatanoddlifeitis
July 3rd, 2015 2:37pm
gay is generally used as an umbrella term for those who are attracted to the same gender, although it more specifically means males attracted to males. lesbians is used for females attracted to females, and bisexual is used when someone is attracted to both males and females. as far as how you know, that's based on your own personal feelings and as far as gay/lesbian goes, the gender you identify as.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 11:21pm
You'll know when you know. You don't need to rush yourself to find out if you are this or that. Just be you and that's all that matters.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 12:11am
It may seem obvious, but start looking up the definitions and 'symptoms' for these terms. Then see if these define you and think if they define a very large aspect of your thinking. Soul search and make lists comparing things and apply your critical thinking. Try to talk to somebody from the LGBTQ community in a support group or a friend and ask how they realized their sexuality. Stay calm and think your decisions through and make plans and it will all work out in the end.
snugglyFreedom30
July 4th, 2015 3:56am
Sadly, there is no "one size fits all" answer to knowing if you're LGB. The best thing to do if you're in a situation where you're beginning to question is to pay attention to your own body signals. Do you tend to find yourself looking at someone of the same or opposite gender more, or maybe both seem to be even? Whatever may be bothering you, remember that you absolutely are not alone, there are many other people going through this exact same questioning stage. Definitely take some time to check out The Trevor Project, as they have some great resources over there specifically for this, and also feel free to chat with one of the listeners here at 7 cups, as we'd be more than happy to help.
beautifulHand49
July 4th, 2015 3:26pm
You will find yourself attracted to others of your own gender and, if you're bisexual, those of other genders too. However, if you find yourself simply experiencing a lack of attraction to another gender, you may be asexual, which means lack of sexual attraction. Asexuals can still experience romantic or aesthetic attraction.
FriendlyBear95
July 4th, 2015 5:15pm
If you're attracted to those of the same gender, then you're gay (male) or lesbian (female). If you're attracted to both genders then you're bisexual. Humans like to be understood and also like to fit in. Sometimes if we don't entirely fit into a box, then we wonder if we'll ever be understood, maybe there's something wrong with me if (for example) I'm a lesbian but I find myself incredibly rarely attracted to a guy! There's no wrong answer here. Who's going to tell you off if you identify as lesbian one week or gay and bisexual afterwards. There aren't 'label police', just go with the flow and take your time. Get to know yourself. Do we even need these labels anyway? I think being happy and safe is all that matters.
sunnycantsleep
July 4th, 2015 7:57pm
Well, you've just got to be honest with yourself, meaning being 100% honest about who you're attracted to. You can also ask yourself questions like 'Would I ever want to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex?' or 'Am I attracted to people of the opposite sex emotionally and physically?'. Answering these honestly can help you figure things out; I know this from personal experience, when I was discovering that I was pansexual.
RickyN19
July 5th, 2015 1:28am
That is something you find out by putting aside any fears or worries you may have, just long enough to look at what you really want in a romantic relationship, who it is you want to be with.
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 7:48am
At first you should know it yourself inside you. If you are really not sure I advise to visit some online dating sites for gays and lesbians. You can find friends who can help you find it out but the best way to figure it out is to find out if you can feel love to the same sex or if you are sexually attracted to him or her. Main thing is to dont be afraid if you feel some of these. Being different is never a bad thing.
romeoooo
July 5th, 2015 11:26am
It takes time, you really just have to feel it out. You don't need to put a label on it immediately!! If you see a girl and want to date her then dangit, date her. Be yourself.
angelcaughtinthecrossfire
July 5th, 2015 4:56pm
Well the answer is never simple. I am bisexual and for me that means that I am attracted to both guys and girls and the way they make me feel tells me whether or not I am bi. You know when you know, I think. If you are both physically, mentally and emotionally attracted to that person who happens to be the same gender.
peachysunny
July 5th, 2015 8:39pm
gay, attracted to ppl of the same sex, lesbain the same. lesbain -female gay- male, bisexual both female and male
originalLion57
July 5th, 2015 9:00pm
You'll know you're bisexual when you find both genders romantically and sexually attractive. The term 'gay' can be used for both women and men, but if you're a woman and you only find women attractive, you'll know you're a lesbian. If you're a man and you only find men attractive, you'll know you're gay. Often people know this within themselves because sexuality isn't something you choose or can change. So often people know, deep down, what they are, but it can be a scary thing for them if they have to come out into a place or society where people are ignorant and judgemental.
Emily619
July 5th, 2015 10:49pm
You know if you're gay, lesbian, or bisexual if you have sexual/romantic feelings for the same sex. If you are gay, you are typically a guy with feelings for a guy. If you are lesbian, that is the same case, except with females. Some lesbians prefer to be called "gay" instead of "lesbian." If you are bisexual, you have feelings for both genders.
JoyfulHeart822
July 8th, 2015 3:30am
Well, you will figure it out eventually, based on who you are attracted to. The answer may not come immediately and you may mislabel yourself in the beginning, but eventually you will learn your sexual orientation, and to understand yourself better.
Brittneym101
July 8th, 2015 10:31am
Only you can find out if you're gay,lesbian, or bisexual. Nobody else. It's up to you to determine your fate.
kindheartedSun3
July 8th, 2015 11:25am
How do I know if I'm Bi - When my heart starts to beat like it what to jump out from my throat every time I glance at someone who's attractive, my palm started to sweat, butterflies when they are near, forgot I'm a human being when I try to talk, thinking that they are simply beautiful with long hair and soft skin or handsome with a bulky six packs abs or how kind or how smart they are or how they make me laugh. To tell the truth I never thought I was confuse even from the beginning. I never like looking at someone with judgmental mind. Raised in a family that have two biased, judgmental parents open up my view on people. So those feelings that tells me when I like someone just come naturally to me and I embrace it.
ZaydenLana1998
July 8th, 2015 9:03pm
There really isn't a specific way to know. You simply... Know! You simply are attracted to the other gender. If you're younger, it may simply be a bicurious phase, everyone has bicurious phases in their life. However, you may actually turn out to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual! And that is perfectly okay!
Gilbertron
July 9th, 2015 12:03am
It's all about how you feel. Gay, do you like guys if you're a guy? Do you think about having sex with them or going on dates with them, getting married to them? Lesbian, same thing just for girls. Bisexual, that's if you think about it with both genders. Its complicated.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2015 3:00am
You can base it on past emotions and experience, but it's what you truly feel about yourself despite whoever and whatever anyone else thinks. You will know what you are if you are true to yourself and are honest.
KellyCanary
July 9th, 2015 7:57am
You are the only one who can really answer that. Everyone has different experiences- but above all you need to listen to your heart and head, and not be afraid to be who you are. Sexuality is a very complicated thing at times, and you are not alone for being confused.
cherishedJet13
July 9th, 2015 12:16pm
You have feelings for the same sex or you have feelings for the same sex and the opposite sex. Gay is usually more for boys. It when a boy likes another boy as more than friends. Lesbian is usually more for girls, it's when a girl likes another girl as more than friend. And bisexual is when someone likes both girls and boys as more than friends
Anonymous
July 9th, 2015 1:01pm
Feeling attraction to the same sex can indicate that you are gay or lesbian, if you are bisexual, you will feel attraction to both sex.
TransMan1115
July 9th, 2015 7:35pm
It depends on which gender you find you are more sexually attracted to, it doesn't matter what age you are, you don't even need to put a label on your sexuality, unless you think you need to
dreamwithmelovers31
July 10th, 2015 2:25am
you just know. hell. i have known since forever. but coming out is a different story !!! that can be really hard !
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 5:35am
I figured it out by being attracted to specific people. But knowing the options also helps, to not be in denial - and there are many more than just hetero-, homo- and bisexual. I identify as pansexual because after many crushes and two romantic relationships, I realized the person's identity or biological gender are irrelevant to my feelings for them.