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How can I be happy without friends and family?

307 Answers
Last Updated: 12/18/2021 at 3:50am
How can I be happy without friends and family?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elena Morales, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.

Top Rated Answers
TheGlovedOne
- Expert in Loneliness
July 8th, 2016 2:27am
You need to be happy with yourself anyway before you can be in any relationship, or else the other person will be pulling your weight. You need to find a hobby, a place to go, a thing to do so you have something to keep you busy when you get bored. You can try to write lists of things you can do without people around you.
Anonymous - Expert in Loneliness
July 17th, 2016 11:57pm
You always have friends. And if you really really honestly truely don't, I'll be our friend and I'll make You happy xxxx
Anonymous - Expert in Loneliness
August 5th, 2016 3:45pm
Your hobbies are your friend, this thing called Internet that you're on is your friend, this text you are reading is your friend, this website aims to be your friend, the people on here try to be your friend, if you believe in God then God is both your friend and family, if you have pets they are also both your friends and family, if you don't have any family right now then you find & make one one day, if you spoke with someone and you both came off smiling after that then they are your friend I could go on and on and on. But what makes you think that you don't already have a friend ? I am your friend :) You are also my friend Did I make you smile yet ?
ALItheKind59
- Expert in Loneliness
July 16th, 2016 10:44pm
don't bond your happiness in friends and family.. smile and help the stranger, talk to the man sitting beside you, in the bus, the feedback you get,it will pleased you, start feeling the beautiful nature around you plants animals etc.. you will be happy...
Anonymous - Expert in Loneliness
July 8th, 2016 5:47pm
Keeping yourself happy with the things you love so much. But I believe no one can be happy without a friend or family
timetrack
August 5th, 2016 12:06am
If you ask this questions, then I think the answer for long total personal social isolation (I mean no personal relationships) - then I suppose the answer is a clear no. You asking this questions tells me, that you have personally experienced that you are not happy without friends and family. You understand and feel the concept of what lonelyness is. Only if you would have never felt unhappy when you were lonely, if you were someone who did not feel that emotion in such a situation, then you would be someone who did not feel and could also not understand the concept of loneliness. And as you can't miss something you do not experience you would be able to be happy. Yes, you could be unhappy about not being able to understand what if feel that concept yourself - but that's not relevant here. You asking this questions, makes me think that you are either in such a situation right now or fear of getting into such a situation. And for some reason you think that it might be easier to accept it and now you hope for someone telling you: yes, you can stay in isolation, accept the situation and this are the possible ways to forget about the problem. Whatever difficulties you have, which force you to consider being without friends: this is terrible and if I could I would hug and hold you now. Please, please, please don't give up hope - there are always good people out there, who you can connect with and some who will open there arms and say "I consider you a very important person in my life - you are a friend to me". I suppose, if you feel unhappy because of loneliness, you could learn to accept that unhappiness. And concentrate on something else. Maybe, in some difficult situations you might not have another option than to break all bridges to friends and / or family. Then for a limited time - yes, you might be able to push the unhappiness out of your view and somehow live with it and still enjoy day to day live. But I feel especially in the long run it would always be some kind of denial of both basic human needs and personal emotions. It would be some effort to supress that unhappiness and ignore it. In the long run denial and supression of your personal emotions will cost you your health (my personal view). Especially when we talk about this very, very strong need of human beings to "connect" to someone, to have someone who echoes our inner world. We are social beings - apes live in groups and have intensive social contact, our ancestors lived in tribes. The social construct of the "family" and of "friends" exists in any modern culture on earth. Ignoring this basic need and trying to suppress it might work, but will require enormous energy and will probably leave you with psychological issues and in some cases also some physiological problems. In some special circumstances, others rules might apply: I think of monks, ascets, etc. There are cases where people actively seek isolation to achieve special goals or to fulfil some rules they have accepted. In such circumstances I absolutely have no idea. So in the end please try to talk about this with someone - here or offline. The benefits of having or finding friends (and maybe also (re-)connecting to some family members) outweigh the cost of any obstacles you have to overcome on the way to find friends (again). Take care!
GianHelp123
July 16th, 2016 10:22pm
I believe that happiness is found within oneself, you do not need outter material things or love relationships or friendships to be happy, i believe that once you accept yourself for who you are and find the things you like to do, such as hobbies or other things, then you can be happy, truly happy.
ladycat946
July 8th, 2016 1:13pm
You can enjoy other things in life than your friends and family. For example, you can have a pet, your job can be rewarding or even hobbies. Just find something you really enjoy doing it on your own ;) It's a good thing to learn how to live with ourselves because the person we are the closest every day is us. :)
Anonymous
July 25th, 2020 11:25am
You can be happy without friends and family by realizing yourself and knowing your own inner deep self, having purpose in life and striving for that thing which makes your existence meaningful... Acting in conformity with our true self is already the task of a lifetime. But to do so when surrounded by corrupting influences turns this task into one of Herculean proportions. If we feel that the social world we occupy is thwarting us in this regard what can we do about it? The ideal solution is to find a new social world to transition into, one that is composed of people who uplift us and who possess the traits that we wish to cultivate. Spending more time around people who are walking their own path of self-realization can be a great way to encourage us to do the same. But sometimes this ideal solution is not possible. For with so many people in a state of disharmony in the modern day, finding a healthy social world to embed ourselves in can prove quite difficult. “The capacity to be alone is a valuable resource when changes of mental attitude are required. After major alterations in circumstances, fundamental reappraisal of the significance and meaning of existence may be needed. In a culture in which interpersonal relationships are generally considered to provide the answer to every form of distress, it is sometimes difficult to persuade well-meaning helpers that solitude can be as therapeutic as emotional support.” Solitude promotes self-change as it frees us from the needs and expectations of other people and so allows for the inward reflection that is necessary to better learn who we are. But solitude is also the ideal state for the use of our imaginative faculties and it is our imagination that introduces us to the possible and that shows us what we could become. One way we may decide to re-organize the patterns of our life is to take a more permanent step away from the social relations that defined our past, and to focus our energy on cultivating a vocation and a purpose to our life. If we choose to take this path and to use a retreat into solitude to re-orient our life around the hub of a vocation, this process can also be the means to a more fulfilling social life. For in finding an intrinsically rewarding form of work and then spending the necessary time to become good at what we do, we will become more sure of ourselves and less in need of the validation of others. We will, in other words, become a higher functioning man or woman and in the social world, at least in terms of mental health, it is like that attracts like. The more we move in the direction of self-realization, the more we will gravitate towards others who are doing the same. Furthermore, as we become more self-reliant and less demanding of other people, as occurs with those who find meaning through their work, our existing relationships may also improve as a direct result. You are the only master to yourself, you are the only student to yourself. By leaning life, you learn yourself and by learning yourself you live a better life.
originalSea76
September 23rd, 2016 3:26pm
We, as humans, do not know how powerful we are. We have the ability to control our body, thoughts and psychology as we have the whole responsibility of our lives. That's why we must be our own best friends. Everything is in our hand. To succeed, or not to succeed... That's the issue! You can always be happy without friends or family, but with yourself...
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 1:28pm
Hobbies. Hobbies fix everything, for me at least. I spend most of my time playing video games, doing sports and drawing. If you stuff up your schedule you won't notice that you're alone.
Betka
July 28th, 2016 2:26pm
Pets, internet friends, flowers, hobby... Be a crazy cat lady, that feels amazing always or find a cool hobby...
RaCat
August 14th, 2016 10:34pm
You don't need someone to be happy. If you are strong enough you will be happy by your own - because of your hobbies, your favourite music or just because of the your way of thinking
Tinkermadi1
June 11th, 2017 6:44am
I grew up in a broken family with very few friends. I found it was best for me to just do whatever made me happy in the moment and not worry about other factors. a lot of the time other things worked themselves out.
compassionateSunshine38
May 31st, 2018 9:13pm
Happiness always lies within us...how can we even search for our happiness in others? If we really love being with ourselves ....and if we appreciate all what we have ..then we can be happy friends and the family are the part of life...but happiness simply lies in our own thinking enjoying our own company... finally love your self then you will be happy
Anonymous
August 6th, 2016 4:44am
You deserve to be in a supportive environment, period. If your friends and/or family are not supportive, it is healthier for you to without them. There are people out there who can relate to you, and it is possible with effort and Time to find them; the difference between a fake support group and a real community of a handful of people who care about you is astounding. In order to love others, we must first love ourselves, and taking time away from others for ourselves is important. Being to dive into yourself and really get to know who you are; your self-growth will attract new friends in itself. Try not to become isolated, but go out to new places you have not been to before, or to your favorite safe public places and see if you run into a new friend with similar interests.
mayodibari9
July 15th, 2016 2:54pm
Happiness is a state of mind though you can make lists about things you enjoy doing, things you want to try (responsibly, I may add) and things you have never done, but you wish to. Having a purpose, a goal for each day will make you feel like it's worth it.
spreadlove9618
September 1st, 2016 7:40pm
Take up some hobbies. Do what you have always wanted to do. Solo travel, read, explore new music, watch new movies! There's a shit tonnes of stuff waiting to be discovered by you, why make them wait any longer? And soon enough, you may even find some new friends who share similar interests, but till then, you dont need friends to be happy. Just be.
ShadowsOfTitans
July 14th, 2016 7:23am
A lot of happiness does come from being with people that you have shared memories and experiences with, but to truly be happy without their presence, you must first be happy with yourself. An important step in this is self-acceptance.
FrenchThea
September 1st, 2016 6:42pm
By appreciating what you do, maybe try to connect with people on the internet. Contrary to me, english is probably your first language ; you can try to talk to anybody !
Anonymous
August 6th, 2016 8:19am
Love yourself and learn to be happy by yourself. You should do that even if you have a loving family and lots of friends.
Juleszerozero
March 7th, 2018 11:54am
Sometimes life style changes or social conformity and norms can shape our ideas and notions of what our life script should be. (I hate using the word "should"). This can add pressure on people, and give them a sense that they have to live up to these ideals. However, I've noticed that life style changes can often mean there are times when we are left without our friends and family around us through no choice of our own. Perhaps moving to a new area or young people when they go off to college. Some people struggle more when they are not getting validation from their friends and family and this can have such a negative impact on our self-esteem. So I think it's important that we always practice self compassion. To treat ourselves as we would treat someone we are listening to on here...with kindness and respect. Our happiness always starts with ourselves and by practising self compassion we can support and motivate ourselves to look after our physical, mental and emotional well being.
stillWaters21
August 18th, 2016 10:12am
I do the things I love - reading, spending hours in a library or bookstore, drawing, watching movies. :-)
brightAngel27
July 27th, 2016 3:20am
How to be happy without friends or family? thats a very hard situation and it may be hard to find a silver lining, but there always is one, without friends or family youre motivated to find new friends, which is always a good thing.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 11:01pm
You need to be happy within yourself. You need to think about what triggers positivity in your life.
Grimegg
July 11th, 2016 11:47am
Everyone need someone in their lives. You do not have to be alone, even if you seek solitude. And even if you want to stay away from people - you can't be alone, you have to be connectied to someone.
FoodForTheSoul
July 21st, 2016 5:41am
If you didn't find yourself to be happy with friends and family around, or if you feel like you're depending on closed ones far too much, start by seeking comfort within yourself. Make peace with your emotions and seek to find inner tranquility. If you cannot find peace within yourself, you cannot find it elsewhere.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2016 3:37pm
Doing things that fulfill the self. This can be as simple as making tea or as complicated as writing a novel. If you're passionate the world is merely a background and one can be happy with self.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2016 7:35pm
Focus on yourself, and what makes you happy. Once you've identified what makes you happy, do that more. Commit to yourself, it's easy to put you before anyone else!
carefreeNarwhal88
August 12th, 2016 9:25am
You can by being your own friend and loving yourself. Also live life happily do what makes you happy cause life is beautiful make the most of it