Abandonment is a emotion I tend to avoid so I protect myself from being hurt or feeling alone ! Can I share and let people in and not feel emotionally overwhelmed ?
Last Updated: 07/25/2017 at 10:23pm
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
It can definitely be hard to let people in, especially when people have left or hurt you in the past. You never want to feel that sadness and abandonment again. When trying to reach out to people, whether new or old friends/family, it's important to start out small. Take it in steps. Let them know this. Share your fear. You don't have to outright tell them you have fears of being abandoned. Just tell them that you feel awkward or strange or however you want to describe that emotion when letting people in. Share on your terms. Not theirs. If they ask probing questions and you are feeling uncomfortable/overwhelmed tell them. If you are telling them about you and you feel overwhelmed, same thing. Tell them how you are feeling. You should control how much you do and do not share. Eventually you will find it becomes easier.
To feel the opposite of abandonment, you have to put yourself out there to find someone who will help you feel like you belong, you can let people in without feeling overwhelmed, you just have to go slow and take baby steps if you are feeling that its too much. If you find the right person, they will make sharing your true identity seem much easier
Sure you can! Find someone your really 'click' with, and whom accepts you for you. When sharing, don't do it in a sense that it all floods out, moderate what you're sharing to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the situation. :)
No. Because the more you try to bury your emotions, the more intense it will be when it happens. And abandonment will happen. It's an awful truth, but you will get upset and lost and lonely. It doesn't mean that letting people in is, in itself, a lost cause though.
No I don't want to share or let people near me because they might judge me. I fear they'll know my weaknesses and use them against me.
The short answer is yes. It requires you to take it one person in at a time at a pace that is comfortable to you. The long answer is that you might not feel overwhelmed by sharing and letting people in but you might get overwhelmed if you feel like your relationship with them is in jeopardy. Ultimately, it will require them to put forth effort too. This is the gamble of all relationships.
Of course you can. It isn't going to be easy but you need to have confidence that by letting people in, you'll be able to resolve your issues
Of course... this is how we convince ourselves that the world is really not a lonely place to be in.
To let people in we must trust but more importantly we have to trust ourselves to be able to handle a situation in the best way. We don't know if someone is going to abandon us, it's a risk we take throughout life. We must trust our strength to deal with this if it happens and allow ourselves to open up. This way we can meet people who can truly support us emotionally and then we are never alone.
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