Is it normal to constantly be thinking about how you should behave instead of acting naturally?

13 Answers
Last Updated: 08/14/2018 at 7:20am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
WemsCodes
April 25th, 2015 5:26pm
I think that it's common especially for people who tend to overthink. It's the biggest cause for social anxiety, and goes hand in hand with people who are more introverted. Being a computer scientist, my course has a lot of people who do this, including myself. Finding people who think the same way helped me to open up, and to be able to relax around people. You don't have to be a social butterfly and immediately get along with everyone you meet. Finding close friends who you are comfortable with is more important, and the more time you spend with them, the more you relax and are able to just be yourself. Learning to combat overthinking is something that develops over time, just remember to value your close friends - it's all about quality and not quantity :)
GlenM
June 13th, 2016 9:06pm
Very good question! I think a good way to think of this is to consider it as existing along a spectrum. When people are nervous about things or a little anxious they tend to self-monitor more. When people are more relaxed or doing something they are good at then they self-monitor less. People that struggle with social anxiety sometimes do a lot of self-monitoring. People that don't tend to worry around other people may experience during public speaking. The good news is that exposure to social situations, practice interacting, and realizing that often what we worry about doesn't actually happen 96% of the time can help us learn to monitor less and relax more.
frostyMoon72
April 4th, 2015 9:54pm
it is not necessarily abnormal but sometimes if you think about how you are acting to much you become insecure and it takes you down the wrong path
scarlet25
August 3rd, 2015 4:40pm
It is normal to over think at times, but over thinking about how to behave does not always help. Sometimes while we are busy being conscious of our behaviour we miss out the small important things. Once a while, just try acting naturally, do the crazy idea that comes into your mind, don't think what will happen if you behave like that just do it. Sometimes being instant helps.
KevBer85
November 10th, 2015 7:55pm
If you inhibit yourself everyday that is limiting your character, and not showing that you have a personality. Thinking about how you behave should be the common sense aspect of being at work or in a public place. Beyond that you should be free to be who you are.
AstralShadow
March 7th, 2016 6:17am
in this age of society, I supppose its "normal" But dont dwell on it. be WHO YOU want to be. YOU are the one living IN THAT body. No one else. Think about things that will make you happy instead! that is really important as well as being nice and respectful as well. (nice person and all that) :)
Snakefoxbox
June 13th, 2016 8:27pm
It is normal to feel anxious of these things, as you want to change things for yourself because you are not happy with the current way things are. It's best to try to think about the good ways of acting, and do it so many times it becomes natural.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2016 1:04am
Most people will say unless there is a camera following you around, you should always behave naturally. However, you should always be thinking about how you should behave and yet act naturally. It's called decorum and conscientious.:)
goleft
October 3rd, 2016 5:30pm
This is a normal habit which is often consistent with social anxiety. If you are feeling anxious or self-conscious, it can really help to speak with a professional to work through these thoughts. You can also look through the 7 Cups of Tea Self-Help Guides at http://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php.
CaressingYourSoul92
October 17th, 2016 4:43pm
If you consider normal in the matter of statistics, then it is not "normal", however, being normal is not something to keep you worried, just be yourself, and if being youself implies being self-conscious about your behaviour and it does not keep you from getting things done, then there should be no problem, if on the other hand, anxiety keeps you constantly worried and thus, you can't do your daily activities, then you could try and relax, start acting naturally and with time you will realize that people won't constantly judge you, and if they do, give their opinion their rightful value, which is, in many cases, essentially none.
enlightenedmagic45
January 10th, 2017 6:23am
It is totally normal to be concerned about behaving appropriately in any given situation, and it is also totally normal to be concerned about how others may perceive your actions. There is a balance that each person must find between appeasing others and appeasing yourself with your own actions.
furrylittlefox
April 24th, 2017 12:30am
is it normal? yes. but do you have to live with it? no. when we live inside of our heads there's a strong mental focus and anxiousness even. when we do this we are not focused on living in the now but focused on what will be perceived by others in the future from the now. you can see this strongly for example of saying someone going on a blind date. they don't know who it'll be, what kind of person this is, or if they will like them or vice versa. so they can become anxious wondering "what kind of vibe am i giving off?" "am i being normal or weird?" "am i sitting properly or sluggishly?" "maybe i should of went with the blue shirt instead of red" within this scenario this person is nor focused on the now but only focus on how they are coming off versus being who they actually are.
April1968
August 14th, 2018 7:20am
I feel society has conditioned us to behave a certain way which ultimately hinders a persons uniqueness