Not many people need to know what I feel, is it important to not show your feelings and remain self-dependent in order to not feel vulnerable?
Last Updated: 11/10/2020 at 7:00am
Theresa Gulliver, Registered Clinical Counsellor
Problems cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created them. We must try something different. Gently, we turn your challenges into opportunities for healing.
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Part of experiencing emotion is expressing emotion. The parts of our brain that process emotions innervate nerves that control muscles in our face and regulate tears, and connect to nerves that regulate heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure. Subsequently, our emotions help us navigate our environment and respond appropriately (behaviourally) to our experiences. If you over-control how you express emotion, it will negatively affect your ability to feel emotions in all contexts, even when you want to feel them. And you risk experiencing dissociation from your body, because emotions and bodily responses are meant to act in unison. As well, language without emotion is just facts and details. Emotions help communicate to others your internal experiences, facilitating connectedness and understanding. While you risk vulnerability, you can never really be known by other people if you choose to suppress your emotions. And if you refuse to show vulnerability to others, other people will not feel safe showing vulnerability to you, and so you risk even further misunderstanding and isolation. Choosing to intellectualize your experiences and keep a barrier between you and others might prevent pain in the short-term, but predisposes you to much greater pain down the road. If you are not comfortable showing emotion in general, at least have a few people in your life with whom you trust and can reveal your inner experiences. That will go a long way for maintaining positive mental health.
Yeah whatever you are feeling is completely alright and truly not many people need to know how you are feeling, but hey we are humans we have a capacity to hold within (processing your emotions all by yourself is completely fine) but when you share it with others you give a chance to yourself to lean on others by showing them your vulnerability and that is how humans connect, that's how you will connect and begin to trust the good people and feel secure emotionally (and yeah you can still process emotions but it'd feel great to have someone by your side while you do that ). I hope this helps 🙂
If it impacting on you relationships or daily activities it's best to talk to a safe person that can help support you so you can find ways to move into a safer place so you can manage the problems and live a life that's more enjoyable !
being vulnerable is scary. you don’t want to get hurt, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. but having this complex where you feel as if you need to be “self-dependent” and not show feelings is just like a defence mechanism that enables you to put on a facade where you always appear strong and stable. we all have moments where we’re vulnerable and it’s important to embrace them as they’re what make us human. people close to you should understand as they go through the same thing. it’s not “weak” to lean on someone’s shoulder if you need it. you’re allowed to be vulnerable and ask for help. of course, you don’t need to tell EVERYONE, but keeping it all inside your head isn't always the best solution, and sometimes when you’re in a bad place, you need a fresh perspective to give you some clarity on the situation.
It's important to express feelings as keeping them contained could leave to certain negative feelings. It's also important that you turn to people and learn to let them in and/or help. If you form a bond of trust, it may be the first step to opening up. Sometimes, holding back feelings can result in negative thoughts and/or actions from yourself or others. Relying on yourself and yourself only can make your friends / family feel like you don't trust them at all. Can you tell me why you think it is best to contain your feelings and rely on yourself?
You can feel vulnerable even when you keep to yourself, in some ways you can feel worse. It isn't a good idea to bottle things up that are bothering you, they tend to have a way of coming back in a stronger wave.
I happen to think that vulnerability is a virtue, though with one cautionary stipulation: it's most effective to express one's vulnerability amongst those we trust will not judge or condemn us. I don't think that human being should or can be 100% self-dependent. We need others to verify our own existence. Without the Other's presence in our lives, their input, be it positive or negative, it's difficult to grow as a person - to gain wisdom. I suggest slowly letting yourself be vulnerable with the ones you trust/love. I think you will find that your feeling are validated, thus motivating you towards growth, wisdom. Take it slow.
Actually it s important to share your feelings. It is important to do some things by yourself so that you don't always have to rely on others, but it is also important to know when to ask for help. By asking for help when you need it and being self-reliant when you don't you will be less vulnerable and will be able to handle situations better.
It's the other way round, knowing, reflecting and expressing and accepting your emotions makes you stronger than anything else!
It is a balance of being a warm and approachable person as well as be strong enough to take care of yourself. It is okay to be vulnerable but you also need to know when and with whom. And there might be some mistakes in discretion and that is okay.
We shold share what we are feeling and what we are going through to some trusted people.. if we don't share it becomes a burden and we get stressed
It can be good to stay that why in some conditions and for others talking it out will help them more then remaining alone.
You can show your feelings and emotions to people that u trust and who are close to you.
We all suffer from vulnerability at times in our lives, some of us on a daily basis and some of us not so often. It’s important not to see vulnerability as an all-consuming emotion but to embrace it and accept it as part of our lives and as part of our many emotions. Often when I feel vulnerable it helps to discuss this with a close friend or family member. If that isn’t possible I write down how I am feeling and this helps. Also when I am feeling like this it is important to reach out and understand that I am not alone, showing emotion and discussing feelings is empowering and not at all something to feel ashamed about.
Bottling up your emotions is not always good, find one or two trusted people in your life who you know would not betray you. only opening up to the wrong people makes you vulnerable.
For everyone, the answer to that will vary. If you feel vulnerable when expressing emotions, it might have to do with being deeply hurt or damaged. It’s a protection shield against anything that could harm you. It is not healthy though. Some people enjoy being open to a lot of people and that is okay, just as okay as it is when others would rather keep most things to themselves and only share their feelings with a few people or less. But we all need to confide in each other at last. So no, you don’t have to be visibly emotional at all given times. No, it’s not wrong if you are. Yes, being independent and self-dependent is important, yet not more important than allowing yourself to be taken care of by people you are loved by.
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