What do you do when someone you love just disappears?

8 Answers
Last Updated: 04/24/2017 at 12:18am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Terrence Sawyer, MS Counseling Psychology

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Social disorders counseling social psychology, substance use disorder counsel

Top Rated Answers
Miracle
April 5th, 2015 4:43pm
It often depends on the situation behind their disappearance for example was it a bereavement, are they missing or have they simply decided to no longer be a part of your life?, however whichever scenario once the practical concerns are resolved it is important to focus on emotional ones. As they were a significant part of your life and experiences it is important to recognise this, for example it may help to have a memory book in which you can write about your experiences together and maybe add photos. It can also be helpful to talk with others who knew them and what your relationship meant so that your experiences are validated and you can get to know aspects of them you may not have known about since we all experience the world and others slightly differently for example after my grandmothers death speaking to relatives and looking through old photographs meant I learnt a little more about her childhood and life when she was younger.
furrylittlefox
April 24th, 2017 12:18am
In such a situation many of us look and push for the reasons of why but even then when given an answer it never sits comfortably with us so we then begin compartmentalizing everything trying to connect dots and makes maps and lists of the dynamics of such an event. But what i've personally come to learn is sometimes them going always is a reflection of the need to focus on yourself, not them. (I'm not saying you are focused on them, but sometimes such a thing happening can pull us into a curious mind of whys and what ifs) Focus on what's most important in this moment and if there is nothing that you need to do then you are what's most important in this moment and that always deserves some self-care.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2015 6:59pm
When someone you love just disappears, knowing that it's not your fault is the first step to becoming emotionally stable enough to look at the situation and the feelings of the person who left to understand why they left.
PoliteOcean
September 27th, 2015 2:12am
I'm not sure what it means by "disappear". Disappear can mean they left you and not coming back, or they have left the relationship and you broke up and they aren't coming back. Or last, it could be that the person has passed away and are not coming back to your life. There are many scenarios. But either way, it seems they all deal with one thing and that is "loss". If these feelings are taking a toll on you perhaps you can seek group support to deal with your feelings by looking for a grief support group in your area. If you feel that you need more help, perhaps you can seek advice through a counselor or therapist.
Maddiejb202
December 28th, 2015 11:26pm
Love is a touchy subject. But i feel wen you just stop loving someone, you should go and tell them upfront. backing off love without tellng them can hurt a person really bad. Also, cheating on them thinking it will spare their feelings isn't true. Cheating is bad, don't do it. Love is something that has to be true. So i recommend you tell them/ break up. it hurts, but it will one way or another.
Greatlistener87
April 19th, 2016 7:30am
You have to learn to accept the fact and hope for the best for that someone. Move on and let go knowing that where ever they are as long as they are happy.
Candid0211
July 12th, 2016 6:24am
I have always believed if you love someone let them go if they come back they are yours if they don't they never were
Merritty
August 30th, 2016 2:08pm
If you mean disappear by death, the 5 stages of grief is never easy. Loss is one of the hardest things to have to experience. If not, if you mean by.. not really showing affection or paying attention to you anymore, talk to them about it. Tell them how you feel. That's the best you can do for yourself and the relationship. In order for it to grow, you have to be honest with each other.