my boyfriend is never really nice to me. He treats me like part of the furniture. But i have nobody but him. what should i do?
Last Updated: 09/08/2020 at 10:34pm
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
Sometimes, leaving what you know for something unknown can be scary. But you have everything to gain. Being with someone that treats you like that is not gonna make you happy, and you deserve to be happy. I know it's scary to face a new situation, to face the unknown, but it's the best way to finally find someone who can value you, treat you like you deserve, and make you happy.
Him treating like you as a piece of furniture is not okay. You do not deserve that kind of treatment. Getting out of a toxic relationship can be hard, but it is for the best. You have people on 7Cups who can support you after the breakup. You are wonderful and deserved to be treated like a human.
I was recently in a situation similar to yours with my husband who was physically and emotionally abusive. 3 weeks from now will make a year that I have been separated from him and I have never felt better. This may sound so cliché but I can guarantee that it works; when you start loving yourself you will feel loved. I got away from husband and I got out and starting meeting people, not in search of a companion or anything, but I would get out as much as I could and I was enjoying myself. I would go to the pet store with not intention of buying a dog but would have great conversations with others. I started hanging out with coworkers that I really enjoyed being around outside of work. The MeetUp App is another way I went about meeting others. I ordered invisible aligners from the smile direct club to close my gab which boosted my confidence. I changed my eating habits and lost over 20 pounds. I formed new relationships with people that I can call when I'm in need of someone to talk to. By letting go this one man I feel like I gained so much more in returned. When I started focusing on myself it felt good, and that feeling radiates out to others who wants to be in your presence. I don't want to say what I think you should do, but however you choose to move forward I encourage you to do what's best for you.
I'm sorry to hear your boyfriend is not really nice to you. Was he ever? Did something happen and then things seem to change? If you look in the mirror, do you feel like a piece of furniture? How do you feel about boundaries - both physical and emotional? Do you think you are staying with him because as you said, you have nobody but him? Would you rather be alone and not feel like a piece of furniture or be with someone who makes you feel bad? I have been in an abusive relationship and I never knew anything about boundaries. Self love was not something I was familiar with either. You are worthy of being treated properly and with respect. That you have asked this question sounds like you know what you want to do....I think you will make the right decision. You deserve all the best. Be kind to YOURSELF.
You should express your feelings to your brother and try to make him understand how you feel. Sometimes siblings don't understand that even if they are joking around that words can still hurt. It is important to talk about this with your brother or he will never understand and continue to treat you in this way. It might be hard to do but it is important. When you address this problem try to stay calm so it does not become a hostile environment. Try to speak to him in a calm environment were you both feel safe and no one else is there to bother you two.
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