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How to stop thinking about a guy who dumped you or is bad for you?

109 Answers
Last Updated: 01/24/2022 at 8:34pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
princessbelle0130
May 13th, 2016 3:30am
Occupy yourself with things you love to do. Read a book. Go for a hike. Travel. Hang out with friends. Spend time with family. Do something for yourself... Cut your hair, go to the gym. Stay busy :) time is your best friend.
yasminmarie
May 14th, 2016 12:33am
Think about your own good. If you liked a guy who isn't good for you, think about all the bad things he can do and all the worst way he can make you feel about yourself. You deserve someone who brings out the best of you and only wants the best for you. Don't waste your time on people who have possibly been hurt before and now are using other people to get over the pain.
BUBBLEGUMSPARKLE
May 15th, 2016 11:31pm
It's okay to forget about the guy who dumped you it may be for the best! Think about the other boys in your life and try and forget about him because you will get upset but if it makes you feel worse then think about the happy times you had together and remember all good things come to an end!
lostinliving
May 18th, 2016 5:44am
It's okay, you need time. I understand how hard it must be, but you'll be alright. People forget and forgube
strawberryLake18
May 20th, 2016 1:58pm
Remind your self why you are better off without him remind your self of how he treats you and how you deserve to be treated .. Tell yourself that you should not regret being with that person cause he teach you a less and that is for you to love yourself and not except anything less than what you deserve you should keep in mind that you should care for yourself and not regret being without him if that makes you feel better think about how good you are now and that will make you forget about him
verboseIcarus42
May 20th, 2016 2:59pm
Well, it's good to list why you feel opposed to him! Remember the reasons you broke it off in the first place and focus on those.
Link22
May 21st, 2016 7:18pm
Try taking up a hobby. Or hang out with friends. Try to get your mind off of him. Go see a movie. Pamper yourself. Do something nice for someone else. Just don't think about him.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2016 7:08pm
To easily stop thinking about a guy, simply distract yourself. You won't have time to think about him if you try new things such as; sports, television shows, or try a hobby.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2016 8:20pm
Think about how independent you are without them. You're your own person. You can deal with life without them
Lillllllyyyy
May 25th, 2016 5:31pm
Realize he wasn't worth it! You have so much potential, you can get through it. Focus on something else!
glowingWhisper68
May 26th, 2016 2:37am
Sometimes it's hard to stop thinking about someone but positive distractions can be good. Taking your mind off of bothersome thoughts but doing something you enjoy by coloring,crafts, sports etc. I had an exfiance that cheated on me and dumped me and it was a hard year of thinking about him and stalking his dating site profiles and Facebook (yea I was kinda crazy lol) anyway one day I made a pro and con list of not being with him and let me tell you that pro list was filled with tons of good reasons not to be with him. After I started focusing on myself and doing things I enjoy and I eventually got over him.
RaveRae
May 27th, 2016 2:12am
Distraction is what works for a lot of people. Focus on work, family, friends, art, music... What ever it is that makes you happy.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2016 1:57pm
Fill your life with positive people who enjoy making you happy. find a hobby that will distract you from the pain you may be in from the boy who isnt treating you like he should.
introvertedwolf
June 8th, 2016 9:47am
Just think about the way he treated you, and consider thinking what harmed you in this situation, and then find the courage to understand and leave this story before it hurts you even more
healingHelp
June 8th, 2016 4:28pm
Focus on yourself and make sure you are doing things that you want to do. Spend time with your friends or doing things you love doing (such as baking - my favourite!)
Anonymous
June 9th, 2016 5:43pm
I cannot tell you to do something but I can recommend that you delete all photos you have of that person. Sell or give away expensive gifts but make sure you get rid of them. Erase that person and whenever you catch yourself thinking about them again, remind yourself that it is not a good idea to try to have a relationship with that person again.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 7:27am
You have to just think about the attributes of his character that you do not like. Or find a distraction to break your train of thought (or both).
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 6:27pm
Try and do things you enjoy: like hobbies, personal projects; or try to do what you have to: house chores, studying, etc. I always fill my time with things to keep my mind of him. And I always repeat that I deserve better and even if I were together with him it wouldn't be a healthy relationship and I wouldn't really be happy.
imFaith
June 11th, 2016 9:50pm
I think firstly, you have to want to get over them. After you've accepted that you want to stop thinking about them, I think keeping busy is the best and easiest thighs to do. Also, its alright to think of them occasionally, AMD let them have no impact on you
Avene
June 12th, 2016 3:52pm
Fill your days. Spend time with friends. Watch films that are not about love or relationships or remind you of him in any way. If you cannot get him out of your mind, focus on the bad things. Do things that make you feel good. Make sure you get enough sleep and try to stick to a normal routine; it'll trick your brain into believing everything is as it should be.
Calpal
June 17th, 2016 6:39am
The best way to stop thinking about a guy who dumped you or is bad for you would be to focus on other things in your life, especially yourself. Put yourself into a new hobby or activity. Learn a new skill or even go to the gym. The best way is to distract yourself and find fulfillment in yourself and understand that you deserve the best and the only way to do that is to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated.
orangerosess
June 17th, 2016 5:37pm
Remind yourself you deserve better and think of what else you could do to benifit yourself without a boyfriend. Also do activities that make you feel better about yourself.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2016 10:40pm
I would say that time is key in this situation. It might not be easy at first, but through time the memory of that person will slowly disappear. I think distracting yourself with things that don't remind you of him will help a lot, maybe even meeting other people. Except we shouldn't use people to forget someone else, it isn't fair for them so we should only be with someone else only if we're truly interested in them. Then, eventually you'll realize that the person you couldn't stop thinking about wouldn't have made you happy and you'll get to move on :)
NaturalScience
June 24th, 2016 8:58pm
Do something to make yourself feel good about YOU. Exercise, or read a new book, or spend time with people you feel comfortable with. There is no easy way to deal with loss of any kind. Just remember that your future is unwritten. New people, places, and experiences are key! Just be safe.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2016 10:02pm
Revisit your friends. Keep your friends around you and spend plenty of time with them. Talk things through with your most trusted friend or friends but don't go on about the excuse or the breakup with people in your wider circle, as it can be overkill and make everyone feel worse. Instead, let everyone know that you're free to spend time with them again and that you are up for activities together.
Miracle
June 25th, 2016 7:35am
It is often hard to avoid thinking about upsetting or traumatic events. In the short term distraction can help, so perhaps spending time with friends or speaking to family member, so long as it as an active interaction with people who are supportive. Finding meaning in the experience can also help you to move forward, so what did you learn from it, for example how to set boundaries or the need to meet someone who respects you in a relationship. Journaling can also help just try to move forward and let the thoughts come naturally because with time emotions pass.
ladycat946
June 25th, 2016 5:26pm
You can watch movies or listen music. You can talk with you friend about it and know their opinion, maybe they will be able to tell you things you didn't see about him. Try to remember that life is well made, so if this is happening to you, maybe it's for a reason! :)
Anonymous
June 26th, 2016 5:26am
Start focusing on yourself - once you have more confidence and happiness your mind will no longer feel the need to dwell on people of the past. This kind of mindfulness is essential for moving on
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 8:02pm
Start thinking about yourself. Take the 'single time' and focus on loving yourself. Self-love can turn into something beautiful if you do it right. :)
uniquecreature41
July 2nd, 2016 11:46pm
Fill your time with something useful. The way in which you spend your time after a break up is crucial to how well and how quickly you get over someone. It's also worth remembering that you may be fixated on them simply because they are bad for you or dumped you. Would you really want them if they sat under your window every night pining away for you? Probably not...