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How to stop thinking about a guy who dumped you or is bad for you?

108 Answers
Last Updated: 09/28/2020 at 8:21am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
April 3rd, 2016 1:00pm
When it feels like you can't stop thinking about an ex, it may help to think about *why* you are thinking about them. 1) What is going on in your life that is causing you to think about the past? Are you unhappy with something in your life right now? Was that thing better in the past, and you are somehow transferring that aspect of your life to the relationship? 2) When you think about your ex, what about them are you thinking about? For someone is bad for you, what about them are you attracted to? How do you see yourself in the relationship?
March 4th, 2016 9:01pm
Remember that if a guy dumped you, then he has not seen your worth, so really, it's actually his loss. hold your head up high.
February 21st, 2016 4:16pm
Time makes it easy, you will gradually stop thinking about that guy over time, but you make sure to do few other things like no contacts with him, removing or destroying all the stuff related to him, stop listening to sad songs, dont do anything to try to make him jealous, stop going over his social networking profiles. just go and busy yourself. i hope it works
April 8th, 2016 8:09pm
Just think, he dumped you because he cannot handle how awesome you are! And you deserve better than him!
February 20th, 2016 3:48am
Let yourself grieve. Know that it wasn't your fault or he isn't the last person who can love or give to you the love you deserve. Guys leave for the simple fact that they can't do anymore to change the situation or unwilling to make changes for you both as a couple. It is a normal thing, but it's not normal to stay in an unhealthy relationship when you're doing all the work and programming, understanding the individual and they give you littlw time to do or talk to each other. It isn't a real relationship if that's the case, if it were then he would be willing to compromise or sacrifice at least something to make it seem like you're worth it, just as much as you prove he is on a daily basis. Don't ever forget yourself and lose you when loving someone else because it's a hard thing to rediscover yourself and make new changes although it's always a fun and new experience to know yourself better ☺
February 20th, 2016 4:48pm
I would create a list of all of the bad things about them. It lets you see they they aren't the perfect person.
February 26th, 2016 6:56pm
You must learn to let go of people who does not care about you, learn to love yourself and be a better you.
March 6th, 2016 9:35am
Know that you are a strong person who deserves someone better. If a guy dumped you and gave you no logical reason as to why, it's probably not meant to be. And if the guy is bad for you, then you just saved yourself from a possible crisis experience.
February 14th, 2017 4:18pm
First, be aware that this guy is not going to be a good companion for you in life. The reason you would want a companion is loneliness, boredom and insecurity. If that person cannot provide means to help you, please reconsider how you think about them. Next, you tell yourself, that no matter how good-looking that guy is, he might actually be an asshole. You tell yourself no matter how good and humble he seemed at first, he's not anymore. Moving on takes a lot of self-push and even more inspiration. So try your best!
March 3rd, 2016 12:17am
Remind yourself that they do not/did not deserve you and that they did not appreciate you as much as they should have. Be glad that you are free of such a one-sided relationship and spend time with a pet if you have one. They are surprisingly comforting!
July 16th, 2016 9:40am
Normally when I want to stop thinking about something, I try thinking about something else. Another thing you can try is whenever you have a thought of him, bite into a lemon. Eventually your brain will register any thought of him as sour and you might want to think of him less. It's called Operant conditioning.
February 27th, 2016 9:53am
Why do we necessarily want to stop thinking about guy? The memory will still be sitting in your subconscious mind. By trying to forget by blocking things away the problem will simply fester and come back to haunt you later when you are most vulnerable. Maybe it is better to try for a cognitive shift, basically to change how you think about the situation. By changing your view to one of understanding and acceptance you can better help yourself deal with the situation and move forward.
March 9th, 2016 8:33am
Remember that you are a wonderful person who deserves to be happy. Accept what is gone and cherish the happy moments as they are part of who you are but also remember that you have a future. The end of a relationship is not the end of your life and happiness.
July 11th, 2016 12:18am
Realise your worth , you deserve someone who is going to appreciAte you and treat you like a queen girlfriend
March 6th, 2016 11:42am
I understand it can be a struggle to stop thinking about an ex boyfriend who is bad for you. Here are a few things you can try to stop thinking about him. First is recognize when you think about him. As soon as you recognize your thinking about him consciously try to stop thinking about him. When possible avoid things that trigger thoughts about him. For example if it is when you listen to a certain song then stop listening to that song. If it is all the time and it doesn't matter what your doing that strikes up the thoughts about him then try using a distraction. I have found distractions to be one of the best ways to fight off those thoughts. Hang out with friends and go out to do something fun. Do something you love to do that will distract you. This could mean reading, watching a movie, listening to music, going for a run, looking at funny cat photos, getting involved in sports, solving puzzles, etc. Use the energy that you normally use thinking about him towards something that is fun and a distraction. It takes time to stop thinking about someone that you once loved. Each time that you practice avoiding or stopping thoughts about him it will get easier. It will be really hard at first but I have confidence that you will be able to make it through if you consciously try to get over this situation. If you feel you cannot stop a thought about him try to remind yourself of a couple reasons why he was bad for you. Sometimes you need that reminder to keep your thoughts off of wanting him back. If he is bad for you then he does not deserve your attention. Pay more attention to what you need and want. Try not to focus on the past instead focus your attention on the bright future.
March 2nd, 2016 7:57pm
It's not easy to get over a guy who has hurt you/is bad for you, especially if you really had feelings for you. No heartbreak can be fixed in a day-- only time can heal.
July 21st, 2016 8:30pm
To be honest, it will mostly take a lot of time. try distracting yourself, keep busy with friends or hobbies. try not to get stuck in the past by always thinking about the memories you share
February 13th, 2016 4:43pm
You could write down your thoughts and decide what's the healthiest thing fofrr you to do next. You can't stop thinking about them immedietly but you could try debating yourself about why they don't belong in your life and how if they did, they would've showed you that more obviously.
February 25th, 2016 9:36am
Understand your self worth. Acknowledge the mistakes they made, and remember that you deserve better and that there are people that are better worth your time out there. It will be worth waiting to fine the right person :)
February 26th, 2016 12:58pm
You should vent in a sort of journal or book, then delete anything that reminds you of that person you still care for.
March 10th, 2016 6:11pm
Always remember you are special and deserve happiness. Love yourself and focus on everything positive in your life.
April 2nd, 2016 9:59pm
He isn't worth your love if he didn't see you Go out with your friends and enjoy the life you forgot you had :)
April 7th, 2016 5:56am
Talk to him normally, treat him equally, expect nothing but getting yourself used to a "normal" relationship that is not as special as before.
May 6th, 2016 6:39am
"Don't make people your priorities if you are just an option to them." Life moves on, baby. You will have to decide to go right, left or in the middle of the road. You can't stand at one place forever.
May 8th, 2016 10:05am
First, you need to realize that they are no good for you. One, if he can dump you then he doesn't see the spark in you that the true one and only will see. Two, if they are bad for you, you have to know that they will only bring you down. Going down is not where you want to go, it's up that will leave the most positive outcomes. After coming to a realization and knowing that you want better and happier, look for someone that will take care of you and will do their best to protect your feeling from being hurt. That's a true man and you deserve every last bit.😊
June 16th, 2016 8:23am
Distract yourself!! Do things you love, surround yourself with friends and family, do things everyday. And don't be afraid to take a moment to think about them, about how you feel and how things are for the better
March 19th, 2018 2:26pm
If he is bad for you than you should be the one dumping him. No one should willingly stay i na bad relationship. If he dumped you than maybe you were not meant to stay together and it is for the best.
February 17th, 2016 9:19am
Focus your mind on something else, spend time with friends or family, do things that make you happy!
February 17th, 2016 12:16pm
Try to find healthy distractions by spending time with family and friends, hobbies and interests. Remove all reminders like photos and gifts of the guy.
February 19th, 2016 10:25pm
The best approach would be to start loving someone new. But making sure that before you do move on you've thought about how he's been damaging you and others around you. And if there's something that can be done to improve the situation.