The Facebook "Seen" message gives me a lot of anxiety! When I see that the person has "seen" the message, but does not reply, I start thinking about all the possible reasons why they would 'ignore' me... Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you cope?

Yeah . I can relate with each and every word . Same used to happen with me almost 3 years ago . Firstly I realised that this is what I am feeling , it doesn't decide who I am . Your feelings and thoughts doesn't define you are. Don't look away from your miserable thoughts (I believe that there is no such things as Negative thoughts. ) and at the same don't cling to them . This feeling that someone is "ignoring" you comes at that time when I was very uncertain , confused and harsh about myself. I always wanted validation from others to make me believe that I am lovable and likable . For this I cultivated new hobbies and habits (I never had any before !) like learning a new musical instrument , making craft etc .. I would suggest to give yourself a break from your daily routine and Travel . Talking to strangers and making a whole trip on your own will give you so much confidence about yourself . Don't be harsh on yourself .A validation from facebook doesn't mean that Universe is Validating you . :)))))))

With all of our new technology in what seems to be the "social age" in society, it is easy to feel anxious by seeing someone chose not to respond. I experience that quite frequently because I feel like I may have said the wrong thing or was weird, etc., but it is important to take a deep breath and understand that something else may have come up when they were planning to respond and it is in human nature to be forgetful. It sometimes is best to think of yourself in the other person shoe's, sometimes I will read a message and think I responded! It is quite odd how humans work.

This happens quite a lot I find in the unsocial world of social media. It becomes difficult to communicate by message. What ever happened to a quick phone call rather than a text or WhatsApp? I try not to worry about this. Sometimes people view messages quickly and simply mean to respond later when they have more time and simply forget. I’ve done it loads. I think that is a more realistic and less paranoid view point? I feel bad when I forget to respond and just get back to the person when I eventually remember. I hope this helps someone not to worry about it.

i delete the messenger app and tend to forget quickly. i feel the same way!! sending messages without getting a response in return, it's annoying sometimes but maybe it's good to leave the person some space sometimes... It also depends on the context of what you did too.. was it a risky message admitting your love to someone or was it a text to an old friend? Maybe they are busy with work, busy with school or just do not want to reply? Or even do not know how to reply?? Anyways, hope the person replies or you get less anxious with the seen feature :)

If a friend came to you with this exact concern, what would you say? If you've got the impulse to say: 'Maybe they're just busy - or saw it and got busy and moved on - or maybe they don't realize their replies mean a lot to you" be the same good friend to yourself and think about these possibilities. You clearly care about getting feedback and engagement. What do you think would happen if you started a convo on that exact topic? It's possible that about how much value or consideration others put on their responses. This is a great topic because, in digital spaces, our commutation - or lack of it! - doesn't always come across the way we want it to.

That 'seen' icon is a very ... iconic anxiety causer for lack of better words aha! I can totally understand that feeling. I think it's a matter of having the right perspective. It's very normal for us to immediately jump to 'why are they not replying' which often makes it worse. Something good to do is question yourself too. Ask yourself, why do I feel this way when someone doesn't reply to me? is there something I'm afraid of? Do I feel insecure? Thinking of the other person, remember that they're living their own life too. They have responsibilities and activities to do as well and they're not always going to be able to reply immediately. And sometimes, they may not want to right then and there, and they ahve that right to come back to it later. Everyone needs a 'time out' now and then. If it's something you feel comfortable doing, you can talk about how you feel and ask for reassurance from your friend so that you can have peace of mind.

I understand how you must feel. Sometime we expect others to reply at our speed and get annoyed when messages do not come to us at the right moment. It is key to wait, because sometime people have other things to do, or may need to think what to say. Not everyone is quick to reply. For many people, replying means they have to think what to say, and make sure they do not say anything bad through a text. Trying to not thing negative about waiting for the text or message is key. It makes a better conversation if both are not rushed.

This is just a thought! Your thoughts are not reality. When you find yourself overthinking try to do anything that relaxes you to take your mind off the lies you are telling yourself. Anything to stimulates your five senses works. Eat a favorite snack or food, working out is very stress relieving, taking a warm relaxing bubble bath with candles, and more. Or journal why you may be feeling this way. Get to the root of the problem! Maybe someone in the past has ignored you on purpose and that was WRONG of them but it doesnt mean it will happen again!

It could simply be that they don't have time at that exact moment, in which they will probably contact you later. They could also be shy, so when you sent something they might be overthinking what they should say so they don't sound stupid. It could also be that the message simply doesn't require an answer, in which, they just won't respond. I doubt they are purposely ignoring you. If you feel they are, just sit down and talk it out with them. I believe talking always helps. If they are purposely ignoring you, then it sounds like you need to talk to different people.

This is a really tough one because it can vary from people to people. I'm actually guilty of doing this as well but it really depends on what I am doing at that exact moment. We can divide this to three sections: they are busy with other relatively more important things (what i mean by this is their priorities), they are actually occupied, or the last one where you forget to reply. It's usually the first one where people think, "i'll reply to this later" or "I'm not in the mood yet". I would usually be very verbal with it. I'd avoid asking questions like "are you busy" or anything like that because I know i would only get a vague answer. Instead would say, "hey let me know when we can talk" or "It would be nice if you tell me if you've got something else to take care off." Also, I would try to understand that they have their lives to go on with and times when they are feeling off (this applies to even people who you think are so close to you, everyone needs a time off ). Just giving them the space and time, letting them reply on their own will when they want to would be what i would do, practically. That being said, I too wouldn't be able to not think about things. I hoped this help in somewhat way, and take care!

I think we've all felt something like this at one point or another when texting others. I myself sometimes worry over possibilities that I may have sent something that was unintentionally offensive or taken the wrong way by the other person when they take a while to respond. The fact that we are separated by a screen often makes it hard to tell how others are reacting to our messages as we cannot directly see their facial expressions. However, it may sometimes be unrealistic to expect a person to consistently respond to our messages. We all have our own personal lives to attend to, and our schedules don't always match up. Maybe the timing of your message was simply a bit off. There are so many variables that can come into play. For instance, perhaps you have been left on "seen" because the other person opened your message and had to deal with another situation that suddenly came up, perhaps they were only trying to clear some notifications and didn't actually see your message, perhaps they don't know how to react and are thinking of an appropriate reply, perhaps they simply forgot to get back to you as they had to take care of other things during the day.... and the list goes on. So a person who doesn't reply fast isn't necessarily ignoring you, you may have just caught them at an inconvenient time. Of course, it is nevertheless possible they are indeed purposefully ignoring you. In which case, really the best way to clear that up would be to confront them (in a polite way, mind you), and ask them about it. Seeing someone in person is truly the best way to tell how they are feeling, since we have access to their non verbal cues such as body language and attitude in addition to their words. Overall, I wouldn't blame myself too much if I were you. There are so many variables to consider and you can also check your history (i.e. chat history or past interactions) with that person to see if this is simply their normal response rate or to see if there are any signs hinting to them being more distant from you.

Oh yeah, you bet! You're not alone in this, and for me, it's not just on Facebook, but also on Whatsapp, or other messaging apps. At first, I wasn't sure how to deal with it; the anxiety and all. But later on, I figured it out just by listening to my inner voice, you know, that one that's usually so blunt and brutally honest with you at all times. Yeah! I listened to it, and this is what it told me. "You're not responsible for what anyone thinks of you. The version of you that anyone creates up in their senses is not your responsibility. Also, understand that, there are a lot of reasons people could take time in replying a message, reasons entirely different from the negative ones you've got running in your mind. So be positive, and learn to always look from the brighter sides of things, and you'll find that you'll be happier." You don't know what goes on in other people's lives, so for a moment when your anxiety starts, give yourself that reminder. I do also give benefits of doubts for the same reason I just stated. Who knows? They could've stumbled on the message and seen it when they weren't ready to, they could have been stuck in traffic and came online just to pass the time, and then suddenly the traffic got relaxed, and they needed to move, right after they'd seen your message. It could be anything causing the delay in reply, and not that they're actually ignoring you as you think (unless you're sure they are). And if ever you're sure they're just ignoring you, for reasons you can't tell and reasons best known to them, remember, you're not responsible for what anyone thinks of you, as long you do your best in being good to them. So, what I do when I find myself with this kind of anxiety, is I delete that toxic word "ignore" from my mind, and I imagine myself in a situation where I can't reply someone immediately, and I know deep down in myself that I definitely do not want my temporary disability to reply, counted as or translated into me ignoring them/anyone.

I feel the same way. It's hard to think someone's doesn't want to talk to you. I would say just try and be patient, and don't over text too much. You don't want them to get overwhelmed. If it helps, try talking to them about it when they are answering so they can tell you why when they're busy. Not being answered is frustrating, and it's easy to think that maybe they just don't want to talk to you, but that isn't always the case. You could try, while your waiting for a response, doing something else to keep your mind busy. Playing a game or watching a Youtube video.

It is natural to feel so. What I do when I feel like this is I switch of "Seen" part of messages by going to the Settings. It just helps me not focus on why the person has not replied and spiral my thoughts. I also feel it is a better way fo handling things in a better manner. If you don't know if they have seen the messages, you don't stress over why aren't they replying. As they say, ignorance is bliss. That works for me for sure. It isn't about ignoring. They could be busy and might reply later.

I think maybe they wanted more time to think of a thoughtful answer, or maybe they just had to turn to something else that came up outside of the chat and couldn't respond right away. There are a million possible things that could have happened, so it's better to not assume. Think about if you were in their position - maybe you have opened a message, maybe even accidentally! Then you didn't have time to respond or you had to do something away from your phone or computer and didn't have time to respond right away. Anything could have happened :)

Being left on seen can be really anxiety inducing. Everyone that has used social media has most likely been through that before. I cope by realizing that no one needs forced conversations, and it also might be that the person that left you on seen hasn't been able to come up with a decent response or something to say about the message. I also cope by realizing that this factor of facebook is a deliberate social engineering tool used by the social media platforms everywhere, it is made to make you feel anxious. Also, given a little time I can usually get back at chatting with the person.

I understand how you feel as I too used to feel but it don't make me anxious and I changed my perspective,Think in this way may be they got busy with something else that is unavoidable and left chatting after seeing massage or may be there are in between conversation with their parents ,family or someone related to them professionaly,or they are not replying to anyone generally as they are not feeling well, or they need sometimes to be comfortable to have proper conversation with youbasically, replying to massage may be about them not you .so try to look at it from perspective other than that of ignorance and avoidance

Yes, I understand exactly how you feel and I also feel this way when I text a message to someone and they don't reply. Sometimes I think of so many reasons like " are they busy", "do they not like me", "are they mad at me", and so much more. I cope with this by distracting myself with something. Usually when someone leaves you on seen they are either busy, don't know what to reply so they leave you on seen, aren't in the mood to talk. People go through so many things everyday so they could be having a bad day or they might not want to talk. Usually people leave someone on seen if they do not know what to say and I have personally been through it before. I cope with this by distracting myself whether that is watching a YouTube video, listening to music, exercising and so much more. Then I just tell myself that they probably have a good reason to leave me on seen and go along with my day. I usually wait and talk to them the next day and if it feels like they are mad at you. Talk to them and everything will work out. I hope this helped at least a little. And if you have any other questions, the 7 cups community is always here for you thank you

Absolutely, knowing someone has seen your message and wondering why there’s no reply can be quite anxiety inducing. However it might not be that they are ignoring you. I must admit that I am personally terrible at replying to messages, I’ll read it, whilst being busy doing something else and then go back and think oh dear I’ve left them to long to reply now! Then I’m anxious about whether I should reply after a long time! Don’t get yourself too worried about messages being seen, they could have read it and simply forgotten to reply. Send a message and then do something else like watch a video on YouTube to pass the time, sitting watching the status of the message will not make the time go any quicker or the reply come any faster!

Hiya.... If the seen messages make you feel anxious, maybe limit your time on Facebook, so you are not exposing yourself to seeing them all the time. Also, try not to assume the worst, as some people are not always available to reply straight away. Try to resist texting again, just leave it be, and if they do not respond in a timely manner, maybe concentrate on those people who are genuinely interested in you. If all else fails, just try and occupy yourself with something else more satisfying, instead of dwelling on why they have not replied to you. Take a walk, listen to music, cook a nice meal, and be kind to yourself always, Stay positive and in the moment and you will find your anxiety will dissipate and before you know it, you will have forgotten about these messages and move on. Hope this helps. :-)

This is a completely understandable reaction. After talking to people about their texting behaviors, I find that most of the times when people leave you on "read" or "seen", it isn't personal. They don't purposely want to "ignore" you. For example, the conversation may have come to a gradual end, the person you are texting is busy, the person you are texting doesn't have the mental energy to text at that moment, dry texters, etc. It used to bother me a lot too, but sometimes trying to understand the second person's perspective takes the blame off of you or them and rather just the situation. With that being said, there are people who do it purposely, and it is good to have a conversation about this with them if they are close to you. If they are not close to you and continuously do this, I'd suggest to avoid spending time on someone who doesn't return your energy.

Being responded to right away for many is a sign of respect. We don't always know what the recipient of the message is doing. The recipient could be in a position where responding is not an option. Remaining calm and giving a time period, allowing the person time to reply. If it had been over 24hrs, following up with your message and finding out possibly the reason you did not receive a response right away. If your message is urgent and you are able, call the person. With several reasons as to why a person isn't responding, you never really know if its that they are just choosing not to.

Yes, I hate being left on read. You just have to check the facts of the situation and list all of the reasons possible for why they may not have responded yet. It is always better to assume the best of people and give them time to respond. If they never respond, they aren't a good friend and you deserve better. For example, the person may have read it and forgotten to respond, they may have read it and are busy and plan on responding later, they may have read it and don't feel like talking to you right now, and they may have read it and never want to talk to you. The last one is hurtful. In all of these cases, DON'T send another message. Let them come to you.

I hear you. You feel anxious when someone has read your message but chooses not to respond because you associate it with them ignoring you and being upset. That is completely valid. In fact, I experience this anxiety too. It can be scary to think of all the possibilities as to why someone did not respond to a message. Here is what I suggest: 1. Take deep breaths. In and out. It is most definitely not the end of the world. 2. Remind yourself that people get busy. Sometimes I wake up and check a message but don't reply because I'm still in bed :p ~ Things happen. 3. If you are genuinely scared something is wrong, it doesn't hurt to ask! "Hey, I see that you're reading my messages but not responding. This makes me nervous as I feel you are ignoring me." - Talking things out may help you feel a bit better. :) That's all! I wish you the best. Know that you aren't alone in this experience. Many feel the same. :)

This is really understandable, and the feeling of being ignored can be really horrible. I usually try to refrain from even checking whether they have seen the message, by distracting myself with useful tasks. It is also important to remind yourself that people interact online in different ways, and you never know what is happening on the other end of a text-it is very unlikely that the message being ignored is a reflection of you. Finally, reminding yourself that even if the person doesn't reply, things will be okay, remember that things lie this have happened before and have turned out alright, or you have got through them and you will do again!

This may be just one symptom of overthinking, your constantly feeling as though you might’ve done something wrong and wrack your brain for the answer, you may find yourself lost in thought constantly thinking and trying to reason with yourself as to why they may have left you on seen, I’ve experienced this same thing through many different things in life, the way I cope is to assure myself that I didn’t do anything wrong and that they have no reason to be upset, it can be hard for an over thinker to suppress their habits but self assurance is a good and healthy way to cope

There could be many reasons that a person doesn't reply to a message. It's hard to not take it personally but think about other possible reasons. Maybe your answer was sufficient or the person needs to to think about what you said a little longer. I know that I am guilty of reading messages and then forgetting to go back and responding to them - not because of the person who sent it because I was interrupted. Try not to assume the other person is deliberately "ignoring you" and believe that you did your best.

It sounds like you feel ignored and when people have seen your message but do not reply this heightens your anxiety. I invite you to think about the sensations and emotions you feel in that situation where you are not getting replies. What is your physiology saying to you? Is your heart racing? Are you sweating? Is it in urgent matters where you are anxious that you have no reply? Is it in non-urgent matters where you are anxious that you have no reply? It's natural to feel this way and from my own personal experience I have tried to come up with possible reasons that they will answer later. For example, they are probably just busy, they have lots of stress in their life, they are probably at work and want to text you back when there is more time. Doing that helps lessen the anxiety and can put you in a more open and positive mood. It feels a little bit "artificial" at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets. For further support please do not hesitate to reach out to one of our listeners or therapists who may have lived experience or specialize in the subject of anxiety. On our site we also have self-help exercises and mindfulness exercises available.

The ‘seen’ message is designed precisely to cause this reaction and encourage frequent use of their platforms. It’s the same on their other platforms too. Please be aware of these tricks employed by social media companies whose business it is to take and use your time so they can make money from running advertising. So yes it’s felt by others, but please don’t let it cause negative emotions. There may be many reasons why someone hasn’t replied, so please do t assume they don’t want to talk more with you. Perhaps they just didn’t have anything to say, or couldn’t say something right then.

I understand how this feels like ignoring. Maybe the technical background helps you to feel better about it? Messengers like Facebook give us the impression that the persons are right there giving us undivided attention. Text messages doesn't work like that. When you send a message the device doesn't know if the message has really been seen or read. If Facebook is left open and people are not at the computer anymore or put their device away and start doing other things, Facebook still marks that as "seen". And if they're online it doesn't mean they are necessarily available for talk. They might be busy, working on something or doing self-care. :) I hope this helps you cope.