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Why do I feel that I am rejected or neglected by people?

166 Answers
Last Updated: 03/04/2022 at 7:29pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
MorganMeadows
November 26th, 2020 1:06am
Because they don’t speak to me or spendtime with me as often as I would like which sometimes translates into “they don’t care about me” but I have to remind myself that sometimes other people are dealing with their own issues and maybe they are the ones needing someone to reach out to them too. Also when I am in a negative place, tunnel vision tends to develop and before I know it everything I think of is associated negatively, at that point I know that it is time for me to seek prefessional help because they can offer me tools to bring me out of that negative thought process.
blissfulFlute808
December 3rd, 2020 10:44pm
Sometimes I have felt rejection or neglected by people who did not even realize it! I think reasons why I felt rejected involved me processing insecurities that I needed to deal with. There have been times where I really have been rejected by a team or people but did not feel rejection the way I did when I spoke with someone who gave me a look that I read as rejection. What helped me most here aside from the realization was the understanding that I as a person do have value even if I'm not immediately an expert at things that are valued by others. With being neglected, I think its a feeling that I most felt when I wanted someone's help but they did not make themselves available. What I realized is that it had again to do more with how I felt about my value in the eyes of others than the actual circumstance. I'm not suggesting things will be perfect if you value yourself. Today, I still am not perfect at art and still get those looks....but regardless of the circumstance I find myself happier when I understand that my expertise is not what makes me matter nor does having someone there to recognize my value. You can be loved when you go to one side of the room by a group and hated when you leave. They could have the same information about you but come to a different conclusion based on their values. 'Loving yourself' has been important in helping my emotion of rejection and neglection.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2021 8:06pm
Sometimes when people don't respond the way we expect them to it feels like they are rejecting us, but this isn't always the truth. Sometimes what feels like rejection could just be someones way of telling you they don't know how to give you what you are asking for. Have you thought of asking someone you feel rejected by what the cause of their behavior is? There is never any real way to know what someone is thinking so it is always a good idea to ask clarifying questions. Many times what feels like rejection could just be a failure to communicate effectively with the person you are interacting with.
PeacefulThoughts0270
February 13th, 2021 7:08pm
I've often felt that I've been ignored or even rejected at work and also in social relationships. Sometimes I take this personally, but often, I think that we lived in a hard driving, competitive society and we get wrapped up in our own concerns, losing sight of those around us. Those of us that are sensitive or unsure of ourselves take this personally. This is also hard for those of us who are introverts as we tend to hesitate to reach out and insist on connections. One way to deal with this is to work on ourselves, to feel connected and at peace with who we are as best we can. In that way, we can benefit from a sense of connection when it occurs, without being overly hard on ourselves when it does not.
mayyghnaa
March 19th, 2021 3:16pm
It might be your anxiety or deep rooted fear of rejection. Sometimes, we neglect ourselves and therefore feel neglected by the world. If we learn to enjoy our own company, give us the love and nourishment we deserve, we'll be able to love better and receive love better. It might be because of our thoughts too. sometimes, we tend to paint ourselves in the victim role and would rather believe to be neglected by people than actually put efforts in building meaningful connections. The world is nothing but our own reflection so unless we accept and love ourselves fully and unconditionally, we can't feel that from the world
pinochio21
April 24th, 2021 7:47pm
It is because you fail to understand your worth by doubting on your abilities and you probably look for other people's approval or company for your happiness. Do what makes you happy and do not look for your happiness in other people, it is within you. When you try to force fit yourself with others, you may find that you are being neglected because it is not your natural behaviour. Try involving in activities that are your natural liking and you'll attract the right people in your life. You will not only feel accepted but you will find that your relationship is more fulfilling, effortless and has a meaning.
nagars1995
May 7th, 2021 6:18pm
In my experience, I have this underlying belief that I am a burden. I like to think that is has something to do with how I was raised. My mother was very hard on me growing up. So I have a tendency to feel like people don't want anything to do with me or that I am just being tolerated. Another piece of the puzzle for me is social anxiety. Maybe these two feed into each other but when I am among people, I am anxious and worked up and I think its easy to feel like you don't belong or aren't wanted in those situations.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2021 10:00am
The sense of feeling neglected or rejected can stem from not having your own needs met and having a tendency to people please. If your own needs are not being met then frustration and stress can occur. Self care and listening to your own wants is important. Whilst it's nice to look to others for the things we need, the majority of they time they cannot give it to us. Look inwardly. Focus on yourself and try to decide what it is you are looking for. Setting up healthy boundaries are also important, to ensure that no one is taking advantage of your good nature.
MeditationIV
July 29th, 2021 8:01am
Here is what I have learned about the subject from my personal experience... Whether we feel ostracized or rejected in social settings might come down to several smaller components to consider. Here are a few components I've identified over the years: 1. Where you're directing your social behavior. I.e. are you engaging with people who are good for you? Who allows you to bring in your own unique personal elements? Who cares about you so that they will periodically nurture the relationship you're building together? Who you select is important. The right people will be available! 2. Do you have beliefs about yourself that are holding you back? Do you see the valuable things you have to share with others? As an exercise, it could help to journal what value you have to offer. Your value might not be "equal" to what society values, but somewhere in the world there are people who need your gifts and qualities. 3. Are you putting yourself out there enough to disprove your theory? People are fickle. Social situations are fickle. The socializing you do is for YOU! That means you're in charge of navigating these situations as their so-called "products" (impacts on you) will be in your conscious reality and yours alone. What are you doing to make your desired social circumstances a reality? It could help you to set a few small social goals today. Make the ones that feel safe, and ones that you have the energy to follow through on. They can be small! e.g. "respond to message a friend sent last week." or "send message to check in on old friend". P.s. It's going to be different if "neglect" refers to family dynamics. Hopefully, other answers will go more into those specific dynamics, since they are significantly more complicated. Good luck, my friend. :)
Thecreativespirit
August 13th, 2021 8:40am
Perhaps you need to focus on yourself and not give the authority to people to accept or reject you. One's own company can be very liberating. You may be alone but you do not have to be lonely! When we shift the locus to within us it makes a whole world of difference. People judge us based on their world view, which is very limited. Also sometimes it is worthwhile to look within oneself and see if there is something you need to change. Changing oneself does not mean that there is something wrong. It is a part of our personal growth.
Anonymous
August 21st, 2021 4:50am
Sometimes you feel as though the whole world can be against you. Sometimes you feel as though that nobody is on your side, and that’s okay. It may seem like nobody is around for you lean on for needed support. While I can’t answer why exactly you feel this way, I can say that this feeling is something you don’t have to face alone. Leaning on somebody’s shoulder and having the trust of somebody you love can be the greatest problem solver you own. Sometimes, you have to stop and appreciate the people around you and realize that you aren’t truly alone. Even if you only have one true friend.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2022 1:11am
This can happen because of a lot of reasons. Sometimes, people are not very sensitive to others, and they may never realize it. It may be intentional, but most of the time it’s not. We don’t realize it, but a simple turn of the back or a short one word answer can hurt people’s feelings a lot. There’s nothing we can do about these people besides talking to them and letting them know how we feel. It takes a lot of courage to do so. If you want to continue building a strong and relationship with them though, don’t be afraid to tell them how you’re feeling. Get them to understand you, and in turn, try to understand them as well. It’s not wrong to feel bad, but don’t let that affect your own image of yourself.
Endure777
February 4th, 2022 1:44pm
Sometimes we place false or unrealistic expectations on people and ourselves, as do others with us. We also sometimes jump to conclusions about how people feel and think about us, misconstruing what they said or did as an act of neglecting or rejecting us. Best way to prevent these assumptions is to just ask how the person feels about you. As humans, we have so much information to decode from other people, our jobs, families, and media; we tend to confuse nonverbal cues with those of dissatisfactions and ridicule when really the person might just be in deep thought dealing with something personal.
electricFlamingo5593
February 11th, 2022 4:08pm
Anyone who lived through high school gym class knows the anxiety of being picked last for the dodgeball team. The same hurt feelings bubble up when you are excluded from lunch with co-workers, fail to land the job you interviewed for or are dumped by a romantic partner. Rejection feels lousy. Humans have a fundamental need to belong. Just as we have needs for food and water, we also have needs for positive and lasting relationships. As clever as human beings are, we rely on social groups for survival. We evolved to live in cooperative societies, and for most of human history we depended on those groups for our lives. Like hunger or thirst, our need for acceptance emerged as a mechanism for survival. I know this doesn't really answer the question but I thought it would be helpful.
allnaturalSky4753
February 20th, 2022 1:41am
You might have low self-esteem, or a lesser amount of confidence than you think you might have. Unless the other people are really rejecting you or neglecting you, than you have a right to feel that you are feeling rejected and neglected. If is hard to understand why other people do this to us, but we can control how we respond and react to the situations that we are in. We have control over how we respond and react to circumstances. If you can change your thoughts and try to say affirmations to yourself, or other ways to boost your self esteem and confidence, this might help with making you to feel that you are accepted and approved by other people. I have found that once I changed my attitude of myself, that this has helped me and I find other people that will accept and approve of me. I try my best to get along with people of differing opinions, and politely say what I believe, and if I get rejected or neglected, I have learned to not let it bother me, and move on with my life. It takes practice to not let certain people and circumstances and environments bother a person. I have found that through boosting my self esteem and confidence and being attentive to whom I am around, and adapting my situations, that this helps with being rejected and neglected by people.
Anonymous
March 4th, 2022 7:29pm
Sometimes we exhibit what is called the spotlight effect, where we imagine a shining light upon ourselves (like we are on a stage), when really many people have this spotlight over their heads and are too caught up in their stresses. As a result, what we think as neglect, might simply be a person caught up in their own problem. Regarding your question, it's okay and human to feel this way, and a good way to approach it - is to let the person know how you feel. We often assume others do things with bad intent, but it's also possible that they had no idea due to miscommunication (they are unable to read what is in our minds). Hopefully, this helps.