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He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?

152 Answers
Last Updated: 12/19/2020 at 6:40pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Sandra Butler, AOD, DV counselor

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Experienced in understanding how emotions and feelings affect our lifes in every aspect of interacting, not just with others, but how we process those emotions. I can help you

Top Rated Answers
May 2nd, 2018 12:05pm
People don’t always want what’s perfect because people don’t always believe they deserve perfection.
May 13th, 2018 10:25am
Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment that they might not mean or they might have felt just because of that moment. But just know that this guy is not worth it if he chooses someone else over you, especially after saying that to you. It just shows his true nature, be glad that he is gone (silver lining i guess?)
May 18th, 2018 5:46pm
Sometimes boys lie. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. If he really loves you, he will come back. If he doesn't, support him.
May 19th, 2018 8:21am
when people are emotional or something they say such things. sometime to impress or there could be anythng. But the fact is he choose someone else. Action speak more than words. He had already done what he has to do.
May 23rd, 2018 4:37am
It is not only about perfection. There is feeling. Don’t obsess on beeing Perfect for someone. Be yourself and you will get biggest chances to meet someone who will be crazy about you.
May 28th, 2018 10:09pm
He doesn't sound like a very good guy for you. If he truly thought that you were perfect he wouldv'e shose you.
May 28th, 2018 11:19pm
Words don't mean anything sweetie! Action does. Maybe you aren't perfect for him because Fate is saving you for someone who deserves this perfection
May 30th, 2018 5:02pm
You might have been "perfect for him" but was he perfect for you? Nope he wasn't. He wasn't perfect for you so you aren't missing anything
June 1st, 2018 11:32pm
Because at times people choice changes or at times they want to explore more and in that hunting process they lose someone important or someone worth holding of
June 7th, 2018 1:02am
Some people change their opinions overtime. Think about an iphone. Some want the latest version even though they bought an earlier version that felt "perfect". More importantly, there is no such as perfect. Relationships need two people to grow together, for some they just have a different set of values. The good news is, him choosing someone else, says alot about what he values. This isn't about you not being "perfect", its about his reality in his head, that is not on you. No one is perfect, but finding someone who loves to be with you, that's more meaningful than mere words.
June 13th, 2018 7:23am
People says things they dont mean and do things they dont intend. Unless he is the realist, a man of his word, otherwise people make decision based on situation. Situation changes, people change.
June 15th, 2018 11:18pm
Sometimes people change their minds. It can be over a short or long period of time. I had the same thing happen to me a few times and it was upsetting, but I told myself that I was better than him and how i'd find someone better.
June 21st, 2018 8:15am
You are perfect in your own way and nobody can take thataway from you. You are very unique and beautiful.
June 23rd, 2018 3:00am
I am so sorry to hear that he has chosen another. This must be very challenging to come to grips with him saying such beautiful words but then his actions say something else. I am glad that you came to 7Cups to share this with me. How have you been processing this since you first found out?
June 24th, 2018 12:23pm
Maybe at the time he did think you were perfect for him, but later realized that tit wasn't the case.
June 28th, 2018 4:51pm
Many times in life people say things to get what they want. That may have been a time when it was said and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. His interests may have changed or maybe he’s just not the right guy for you!
June 30th, 2018 2:43pm
I has less to do with you and more to do with him. Probably he didn't know himself enough to keep exactly what he wanted, maybe he was just a coward, we can speculate a lot but that's not what is important. The important thing is that you dodged the bullet. You wouldn't want to be caught up in a relationship with someone who is confused or who tells you just what he imagines you want to hear and later his actions to be totally the opposite. This inconsistency between words and actions is a very big red flag about someone's character. You are lucky
July 3rd, 2018 8:22pm
I've learned people change minds often but you are perfect. Don't let him define you. I understand what its like for someone to betray you. It can feel lonely.
July 22nd, 2018 2:32pm
Perfection doesn’t mean the complete perfection sometimes we like things about the person but most of time we hate other things which doesn’t fit the partener’s Personality.
July 25th, 2018 4:14pm
Sometimes it happens, maybe he wasn't the right person and it's totally nor related to your personality
August 4th, 2018 10:43pm
A person's emotions aren't always clear. It must hurt going through that but you did nothing wrong. You gave him as much love as you could and in the end, you did your best. There will always be good and bad relationships; if you can give your best in the relationship then people will take notice. Never let anyone define who you are and your worth.
August 12th, 2018 10:16pm
People change, idea of perfect is current and unreal. He didn't know you well enough back then, his opinion changed.
August 15th, 2018 7:04pm
You're better off -- what he said was considered a soft let down. You are perfect for someone who will appreciate and love you.
September 23rd, 2018 12:46am
Sometimes people don't know what they're saying, the heart with so much love will speak in superlatives, but you haven't seen the whole picture yet, you know? I know it's hurtful, but maybe you can take from it his sincere intention, rather than be disappointed by the loss. He loved you enough to say that once, you are lovable! We all come and depart from here (earth) looking to only give and receive love, I understand if you're disappointed -- after all, so close! Yet the joke is this place is made of love itself, every good and bad experience is only an expression of existence's and people's love for you. Look around, look inside -- you may be surprised!
October 26th, 2018 6:07pm
Because he chose someone else, doesn't mean there was anything wrong with you. Whatever his reasoning was for it, understand that you could have done nothing to prevent it, and someone who really does want to be with you will come. Situations like these are bound to make you feel insecure, I understand, but the moment you realize that the problem was and is not within you, you will realize your worth and the kind of person you want to be with. Try not to compare yourself with others. Everyone is unique in their own way and have their own personalities. If you were not right for someone, you can be perfect for another - it's just a matter of patience, so don't think too hard into these things or rush them! :)
November 9th, 2018 10:20am
Seems like you're stuck in a saddening situation. I understand how it feels, and I know it's hard, but those are feelings we're dealing with. Maybe you're feeling anger because he made his judgement seem like a lie. Maybe you're sad he chose someone over you. It's horrible, yes. But life doesn't revolve around someone who left, dear.. And if you weren't perfect for him, you're definitely perfect for thousands out there. Dont be upset, and hope for the better. All of us are here for you whenever you need it. Don't rush things, the person who is made for you is coming up along the way :)
December 1st, 2018 7:42am
Rejection can be such a painful experience, but sometimes people who aren't meant for us take themselves out of our lives. Also, even if he said you were perfect for him, was he perfect for you? Do you want someone that would make you feel second best and prioritize someone else after leading you on? You deserve a more affirming love and it will come to you. And sometimes, it may not come from anyone else. Everyone comes to relationships with their own history that may cause them to act in painful or confusing ways. What's most important is building self sufficiency through self care!
December 5th, 2018 8:41pm
Okay so i realized some guys are just so confusing and if he called you perfect but left you for someone else then he obviously isnt worth your time ! You'll find someone better and remember actions speak louder than words so the right guy wont just tell you youre perfect he will prove it . I can promise you the right one will come soon and you will wonder why you ever settled for less or why you were sad over a guy who was all talk and couldnt treat you the way you deserve to be treated! good luck
December 29th, 2018 7:31pm
I’m sorry to hear he did not choose you, its always sad to see someone you care about so dearly choose someone else. Ive experienced this myself, and it is never something one may enjoy. If he said you were perfect for him, he was either lying or he meant it at the time only, meaning its no longer his truth. Try to focus on other things that arent him for a while, and know that you are perfect, you will find someone some day, remember that. He’s not worthy of being in your wonderful mind. I love you.
January 13th, 2019 3:17pm
Just because you are perfect for someone doesn't mean you two are perfect together. If he was willing to pick someone else then he wasnt perfect for you and in the end he did you a favor. He could have wasted your time and kept you from missing a chance to be with someone who is perfect with you. Most relationships end when they are ment to so that we may learn from them and take what you have learned to apply it towards your next relationship. Which is what all failed relationships are. They are growth periods of discovering what it is you want out of a relationship.