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He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?

138 Answers
Last Updated: 04/11/2020 at 4:23am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Sandra Butler, AOD, DV counselor

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Experienced in understanding how emotions and feelings affect our lifes in every aspect of interacting, not just with others, but how we process those emotions. I can help you

Top Rated Answers
April 6th, 2019 1:45am
You are always loved and cared about by other people, if he chose someone else, then he wasn't worth your time. This can be very hard to accept, i know all about it. You deserve better! Love can be hurtful, but, we always have other people there for us, even if we don't know it. We all have someone we click with, whether it be a therapist, someone on 7cups :), a friend, a family member or anyone. sometimes we haven't found that person yet, but they are out there... :) You need to search for them, because they are also searching for you!
June 23rd, 2019 4:03am
Don’t worry about it. You are beautiful and smart. You’ll find someone else. I know you probably really loved him but trust me, if it was meant to be he would’ve stayed. I understand you’re probably upset but don’t get yourself worked up about it. Take sometime for yourself & pray about it. Everything will work out fine. You can always find someone better. There are lots of men out here that will treat you better than he ever did. They will cherish you & treat you like the queen you are. Like I said don’t worry about it. Time heals all. It might hurt for a little while but spend some time with your family , friends and you’ll be fine sweetie.
June 27th, 2019 8:03am
Love can be hard, and difficult. Sometimes some people say things before they think. You might have been perfect for him at one point, but he couldn't handle a relationship, with someone who's too good for him maybe? I am no one to advice you or tell you what too do, but I would always say that if you aren't good enough in his eyes, then they aren't good enough for you
July 5th, 2019 9:53pm
Guys can be confusing sometimes. In reality, no one really knows what they want. What matters most is whether you think he was perfect for you and if not then you must consider whether it is reasonable to continue to pursue him. Remember, we have all been through a rough time and been told that they’d never leave us. You’re not alone. Listeners here on 7 cups are available whenever you feel like you’re not okay. Keep your head up and don’t settle for someone who isn’t worth your time. One day you’ll find someone who shows you they love you and not merely says it.
July 7th, 2019 11:28am
Despite what our culture tells us, realistically, there is no "perfect" person for anyone. The statement he made was flawed and inaccurate. Our ideal person is always subject to change, especially when we have had less experience dating. Yes, in the beginning, he thought you were exactly what he was looking for, but now it has changed, and that's completely normal. It may be because he didn't have an accurate perception of what you are like, or maybe through dating, his ideals changed. Either way, this says nothing about you and everything about him. You are beautiful exactly as you are and you deserve someone who loves you for that, and there definitely are people out there (however hard to find) who know, for certain that the real you is exactly who they want to be with.
July 11th, 2019 5:07am
Guys can be so confusing sometimes. I’m sorry he had to lead you on like that. If you were truly “perfect” for him, he wouldn’t have been an idiot and chosen someone else...and honestly I’ve been in a situation like this before. It’s the ultimate friend-zone. Sadly, there’s nothing we can do in situations like these except remember that self-worth is found within. You’re an amazing person and you will one day find a guy (or multiple guys) who TRULY thinks you’re the most perfect human on this planet! Until then, you have to remember that about yourself. Good luck girl! Keep your head high, you got this!! ❤️✨
July 28th, 2019 5:40pm
people do say things in the moment, at the time he may have thought you were perfect and "the one" but, as you get to know eachother the love could have just faded, it's completely normal! you will always no matter what find someone who loves you unconditionally, there is always someone who loves your flaws and your insecurities, it may just take a short amount of time, or a while to find them! but when you do, it will all be worth it! there is love for everyone and everyone deserves to be loved! you will find someone who thinks you're perfect and choose nobody but you
August 3rd, 2019 12:10am
i am sorry honey!! you do NOT deserve that!! guys are weird sometimes and they may tell you something they know is not true. do not get to worked up about it. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT it’s his... you are beautiful, independent, amazing person that does not need a man to be happy ever!! he probably told you that you were perfect for him at the time because he really believed it and now he has possibly doubted himself and ran because he was not ready or something.. i am not sure what was the case... but don’t be sad it’s not your fault
August 29th, 2019 3:14pm
His actions do not match his words, whoever he chose will soon learn this as well. Don't blame yourself that is his problem. Each of us has to learn contracts and accountability on our own. The important part here is that you do not take this personally as it has nothing to do with you this issue stems from someone else not seeing the importance of their words and lacking responsibility and empathy for leading people and failure to realize the expectations they lay out with no intention to fill. All of this is a responsibility, accountability problem. None of this had anything to do with you. All of us have the ability to speak, lots of us lack the sense of responsibility that comes with that power of influence. Also dont ever worry about being perfect for someone else, was he perfect for you? In going forward do not place so much value on another persons words, watch their actions trust how you feel about the situation seek truth in what feels perfect for you, also commend yourself and be proud of yourself for having a heart so big that it had room to make space for someone else even though they fell short on their promises.
October 27th, 2019 3:57pm
I have been through something like that before. Boys can be extremely confusing and they really don’t make sense sometimes. They can say things and not mean them sometimes. Sometimes they can do things and realize that they made a mistake and then they try to make up for it but you can’t play with a girls heart. It can be very hard to understand why people do some things that they do and I can’t offer anything to help understand. In time it will become clear they he was not the one for you or he would not have done that to you.
November 17th, 2019 6:13pm
Sometimes people communicate one thing and mean another. If this situation happens to you then the first thing to remember is that it's not your fault. Chances are that he saw so much perfection in you that he wanted someone as flawed as him. Just because you were said to be perfect for him, doesn't mean you can't be perfect for any other person out there! Don't let it get to you, take it as a compliment that you were too good for him. It can be heartbreaking when you think he was 'the one' but it's easy to think that there is only one person for you when there are multiple who can be compatible with you. Take all the heartbreak as experience and learn what to not look for in a guy and vice versa.
November 21st, 2019 9:19am
Life is full of unexpected things. Sometimes, things won't always go as smoothly as planned. Not every love will succeed, not every business will thrive, not everyone will live healthy, not everyone will stay the same. I've been there too and it really hurts because I had so much expectations for both of us. Of course, in the end, we all need to take a deep breath and move on. Let it go. If someone's meant for you, they will be with you no matter how far they are from you, how much you fight and talk it out again. If someone isn't meant for you, no matter how sweet the dreams you both have, it will fly away. I hope the best for you. Don't give up.
November 27th, 2019 5:08am
I understand. Dating and relationships can definitely be difficult. I can tell you even just from my own experiences, you are not alone. I remember a guy I dated who would tell me all the time how wonderful I was, only to find out that 2 other girls happened to be just as perfect, all at the same time. So he chose someone else. How does that make you feel? You are an amazing and wonderful soul who deserves the best. Sometimes it gets hard, but you are a very strong person. If you really think about it now, do you think he was "perfect" for you?
February 2nd, 2020 5:38pm
You just have to be patient and let go. Don't expect anything, you will be loved.You deserve it but you have to believe that.Do not keep any grudges against anyone, do not blame anyone, it is just the way it is, something better is coming your way and maybe his too. Do not keep your hopes up and wait for it, move on with your life and live it to the fullest with or without any significant other.It is very short, cherish every part of it.Maybe he was just a lesson, you must have learned something from it.Find it.Do not lose yourself.
February 12th, 2020 2:38pm
Yes. And he will do the same for the next person. He is clearly the type of guy who is willing to tell you anything to get you to go along with what he wants. I know how you must feel, heartbroken, disappointed, and let down. This experience will only make you stronger. Now you know that a person may say it but not show it. Remember that actions speak MUCH louder than words, and always a look for the action to support the words. Keep this in mind for yourself as well. Do not tell someone that they are your center of everything, at least not until you are absolutely 110% sure of your feelings for this person.
February 16th, 2020 9:41pm
One day he'll love you the next day he'll act like he never said that. It's what some guys do, they just think of it like a game and forget we have feelings too. The least we can do is to accept it and move on. We need to learn from it and not become too attached to him. It's lovely hearing such nice words from someone and it's comforting that you know they love you, but love yourself more first so you can pick yourself up quicker.
March 21st, 2020 8:16pm
Sometimes people change their minds or make different decisions. This doesn't mean that you aren't perfect. You are unique and special in your own way. Relationships don't always work out, but there is always hope for new adventures. Relationships take time and patience. You just have to believe in yourself and you can reach your goals. You can do anything that you set your mind too. Just remember that just because he said someone else was perfect, it does not mean that you are not perfect. Be positive and I am sure that you will find the answers that you seek.
April 11th, 2020 4:23am
Maybe it was the timing of everything. Or maybe he was speaking of looks and not personality like maybe he did not click with your personality. You might be the greatest looking, but if you don't have a great personality things don't work out. So maybe you are an amazing person its just he didn't find something that was important to him in you, but in the other person. But he could have gone with the other person for some monetary benefit or anything of that sort. It could have been the timing of everything too. Maybe you two are great for each other, but it's just not the time.