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How can I stop talking to my ex after a breakup?

111 Answers
Last Updated: 11/15/2021 at 2:03pm
How can I stop talking to my ex after a breakup?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
RosieBlue01
April 15th, 2016 4:04am
Block him/her off of all social media, do not speak of them or to them and avoid them. Out of sight, out of mind.
strawberryMelon86
April 23rd, 2016 12:22am
Think of the things she/he did wrong and remember why you broke up with he/she. Do not make the same mistake you or they did
Anonymous
June 27th, 2016 9:14am
Its tough, the heart hold on tight but you have to try and find distractions, distractions help. It will still be painful but you have got to be stong
Lorenzosama
May 8th, 2017 11:03pm
Find something to do. Do what you love doing, completely lose yourself in it. Think about your life, set a goal and work towards it. Set it high enough so when you get to it, you'll feel like you're on top of the world. When you do achieve it, reflect and set some more.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2014 1:44pm
It really depends why it was over. But if you really do not want any contact, let them know and don't contact them. Removing their phone number is a good start, and simply avoiding them if you see them often in your life (school, work, etc.). Start doing something you enjoy, so you don't have to think about them all the time.
naturalVoice89
June 11th, 2015 2:29am
Removed them from all of your social media, delete them from your contacts. I write down what I would say to them in a letter and then destroy it also.
TrumpetTrooper1
September 1st, 2015 2:15am
You have two options in most cases. Either completely cut them off or gradually decrease communication. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Cutting off all communication quickly: Pro- forces you two to stop talking. Con- your ex may think you are mad a them and will pester you. Gradual decrease of communication: Pro- it helps the two of you gradually adjust to life without each other. Con- you still talk to them right after the break up
Anonymous
April 13th, 2016 7:09am
block all of his contact on your phone, on your social media. you can talk to him again after you get over him
ChanelMarie
April 20th, 2016 7:16am
Delete their number and social media and cut off all ties with them until you feel ready to look at them differently than a lover but just as a friend
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2016 2:34am
You should try to cut off communication with him so that you have time to focus on yourself and what you deserve .
GodsHumbleServant
April 27th, 2016 3:06pm
Well normally people suggest you to cut all communication with them and that is obviously difficult and works for some but for others I would suggest taking smaller steps at a time. For instance, start meeting them as less as possible. Try avoiding 1 on 1 meetings. Friends hangouts would still be fine provided you're mingling with your other friends and avoiding confrontation from your ex. Shift to one word answers instead of texting longer sentences to your ex. Tell him you're busy and unavailable to him if he wants to meet or talk to you. Try to keep yourself busy. Spend more time with the family. Give some time to your pets. Start mingling with your peers at work/school/collage. Give your self sometime off and plan a short trip or make a outdoor plan with people who're close to you. Do more outdoor activities to release those endorphins and make your self more relaxed and content with yourself, thus reducing the amount of anxiety and stress. Basically, in short, start keeping yourself busy and focus more on you so that you have lesser time to think and talk about and to your ex after a breakup. All in time, obviously.
Anonymous
May 25th, 2016 9:30am
First make sure thats what you really want. If so, get rid of any thing that will remind you of him/her. Then delete all contact information.
GreatMoss
June 3rd, 2016 10:39am
Discipline through will: you must assert boundaries and reserve yourself with a committed decision to no longer associate him.
sunalchemy
June 4th, 2016 2:27am
Cut every connection between you and him. By connection i mean internet, cellphone, talking, etc. It's way better like this trust me.
bhetherson4
June 11th, 2016 3:28am
Breakups take time, and sometimes people need their space before they can reconnect in a new way. whether or not you and your boyfriend want to stop talking depends on your situation, but it is no rarity that some people like to think things over after a breakup.
MightyLittleSoldier
June 27th, 2016 9:48am
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
laurapb
November 6th, 2014 9:52pm
If you are over, it's for a reason. If it didn't work out once, don't try it again. You need to look to the future instead of the past. You will find love again, whenever is more unexpected. Love is like that, unexpected.
Rainbow1980
November 11th, 2014 8:08pm
Delete his number, and block him on social media...I know its hard, its very hard, but it will stop the temptations!!
Shikaa
April 5th, 2015 8:57pm
Tell them that you don't want to. Delete them from all your social networks and delete their number. Focus on things that you really like and haven't been able to.
Nithou
December 29th, 2015 2:14pm
Don't hesitate to block him on social medias and phones, he'll understand. If you really need to talk, write to him, and keep the letters for yourself (in a first step), then give you some time to think about what you've written. Go back to writing everytime you feel the need, and you'll feel some relieve from it :)
Anonymous
March 8th, 2016 7:34am
This may be very hard, but the best thing to do is "Block 'em, delete 'em, and don't repeat 'em." No matter how bad you want to interact with them, remember that talking to them will not help you or your mental state. Avoiding them will make moving on so much easier
Anonymous
March 23rd, 2016 2:32pm
make new friends, block them on social media (facebook, snapchat, twitter... the lot!) Just pretend they don't exist.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2016 8:32pm
Dont call him/her, Dont text, block from everywhere, thats what the preseent generation do..........
Hazikk
April 21st, 2016 7:47pm
Wont be able to stop instantly. Just take a gradual approach from once everyday to once a week and so on.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 9:09pm
You can simply not talk to each other. The fact that you broke up already spoke for itself and now you're standing for yourself. If your ex is trying to engage you into a conversation and you're not in the mood at all then you should probably ask your ex to end it in a polite way. In the end you want to have your dignity.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 11:06pm
Try talking to other friends, or go out for a run instead! Those really worked for me in my moments of weakness. I have times when I just really want to contact my ex because he was the one who supported me through everything, but I know I shouldn't so I really started to lean on all of my other friends who were super supportive. Never underestimate how much your friends love you, and their collective support may outweigh the longing for your ex! I've also tried really cheerful songs of empowerment, and those really helped too and definitely increased my productivity as well :)
awadd2525
June 3rd, 2016 3:04am
You can stop talking to your ex after a breakup by deleting him from anything that he could contact you from on.
serenekindness66
June 3rd, 2016 8:10am
You keep busy. You find other people to talk to instead. You can even make a list of 10 people that you are going to talk to before you talk to your ex. Then let your friends know what you're doing.
Princessonablackhorse
June 11th, 2016 3:53pm
speaking from experience, ask a friend you trust to block him on social media from your id. Tell your friends that they not bring up his/her topic in front you so that you aren't attempted to talk to them!
Anonymous
June 12th, 2016 11:30pm
From my experience- delete everything. Is it the most mature? No, but it helped me to feel disconnected and not constantly wondering what he's doing. In time, I was able to reconnect with him, when it wasn't so messy and it didn't hurt anymore. Disconnecting is often the easiest when we cut all ties.