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How can I stop talking to my ex after a breakup?

111 Answers
Last Updated: 11/15/2021 at 2:03pm
How can I stop talking to my ex after a breakup?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
June 15th, 2016 4:22pm
Whether you or the ex have initiated the breakup it's usually very uncomfortable to interact after a breakup. Do you attend the same school or work place? Is the population in which you encounter the ex small? Tell me more ...
November 12th, 2014 11:37pm
After a breakup, not talking to your ex proves to be exceedingly hard. It's a drastic change in habit and the best way to break that habit is to distract yourself, reach out to friends more than usual, keep busy. I always found that not carrying my phone everywhere helped a lot.
November 11th, 2014 12:07am
You can kindly (and without drama or triggering words) ask your ex not to contact you. If he/she doesn't respect your boundaries, block their number, email, Facebook, Instagram, and any and all means of contacting you. You may have to change your phone number as I have in the past. If they continue to physically insert themselves into your life after you've asked them not to, you'll have to contact the police and file a restraining order. If this seems too extreme, then I would say that from personal experience, you really don't want to sever the connection and you have to explore the reasons why you are not willing to sever contact with someone who clearly does not respect your well-being or wishes.
April 13th, 2016 12:14pm
Take it slow. Think of it as detoxing. Slowly breaking off contact until one day you won't feel you have to anymore. Try to stay away from social media for one whole day. Try to keep yourself from checking your phone every chance you get. If you feel like you really can't stop yourself and you really want to talk to your ex, try to send the message to a trusted friend instead (it may be helpful to let them know too beforehand). Or buy a notebook and write everything you want to say to your ex instead. It's going to be very difficult, but everything will start in that first step-- making the decision to try. One step at a time, one day you won't feel that you have to try anymore.
September 4th, 2017 2:12pm
First of all, you have to acknowledge the end. This happened to me often, as I usually end up in denial after the breakup and refuse to let go of connections. I keep on pursuing friendships with my exes soon after, because I don't want to believe that we were never going to get back together again. I held on to the inkling of the possibility that such mutual feelings could be rekindled, and kept on hurting myself again and again in the process. With that acknowledgement, cut off all contact--whether it be social media or text messages, block him/her. In this time period, you can concentrate more on yourself, taking time to invest in yourself better.
April 3rd, 2016 11:53am
Remove him from all your social media stop calling him dtop texting him If he contacts you ignore him , exercise is a great tool to get over a breakup.It releases endorphins which is a chemical your body releases to make you happy.join a gym, go for a swim, or play any sport you like. as long as your moving your booty, you are helping yourself get over the breakup and stop obsessing over your ex
June 1st, 2016 6:45pm
Ah, this can definitely be a difficult time and it does vary from person to person. I recently went through a breakup after being in the relationship for 3 years, and it wasn't easy for me. The first thing I decided to do was just cry it out. I needed to let all of my emotions out and that helped immensely. Over the course of a couple of months, I was able to return the items my ex-partner had given me and discard of any items that reminded me of them. I also removed the the pictures/messages/videos that we had together. I decided to take it another step further and start setting goals for myself (ex. I am going to participate in Tough Mudder this year). My focus shifted from "us" to "me". I began to realize that I needed to better myself in any way that I could and focus on my happiness, something that shouldn't be determined because of someone else. I hope this helps you as well. Sending love and hugs your way!
November 15th, 2014 4:41pm
That's easier said then done. You HAVE to want to, and you HAVE to follow through with it. What I've done in the past is delete them from my phone, social media, and anything else that will remind me of them. Like I always say, and ex is an ex for a REASON. There are so many people out there. Why waste it crying over one person.
June 4th, 2015 11:12pm
It's going to take a lot of strength and self-control on your part, but you are capable of it. Depending on how far you would like to go, there are a number of steps you can take to relieve the temptation to talk. Hide, block or unfriend them on social media. Delete or block their phone number. Try to avoid situations where you know you will be around one-another such as parties. When you get an urge to talk to your ex, try talking to another friend or family member instead. Ceasing contact with an ex can be difficult, but sometimes it is a crucial part of moving on after a breakup.
April 26th, 2015 9:42am
Breakups can be devastating sometimes, but You know what besides dating we have Life, friends, work, Family, we have ourselves to care about. So failure in a relationship, shouldn't lead to failure in life. Simply say YOU DESERVE BETTER
June 10th, 2016 4:04am
Don't talk to them in any form. Block them on any social media or/and his number. It's better to distance yourself from the person rather than getting attached again.
November 7th, 2014 12:42pm
Block your ex, click the mute button, don't reply to your ex's messages that's the right thing to do. It's time to focus on yourself, for you to move on and recover from the breakup.
April 1st, 2016 8:17pm
You try to focus on your priorities, relax, go out with your friends, keep yourself busy, try to work on your self-love and spiritual development. Now is time for freedom and do whatever you like. Social interaction can have a positive, cheerful effect. Just LIVE IN THE NOW- AND YOU WON'T MISS ANYTHING !
November 16th, 2014 3:46am
I think the important thing to do is to do no contact and to eliminate anything that reminds you of them.
May 25th, 2016 2:59am
Just stop,, Its a closed chapter.. The more you talk to him/her.. the more complicated and messy it gets.. your mind will confuse itself on thinking what is going on.. :) the earlier you stop talking, the better :) Keep yourself busy in activities and around people.. talk to other people and try being happy.. enjoy the time you get and stay positive
June 2nd, 2016 1:05pm
I was in a relationship for about 3 years already, when I realized that this guy was an awful influence and he was only bragging me down. I knew I hat to break up with him and delete him, but it took a lot of time. Every now and then he would have called me and I would have been happy to see him again, we were crying and hugging and making love, but it hat to end. I closed myself completely for a while, concentrated on my own things and it helped. I had to ignore a bunch of messages from him and I felt bad about it, but a year later I know that it was the best thing I could do. Every time I needed to tell him something I posted it on a secret blog, imagining he would at some point read it. He texted, I answered to the blog. Then eventually he stopped calling and I moved on. Best decision ever.
October 30th, 2014 5:39pm
Keep your head held high. Even when you think about your ex, push it aside. Don't look to your past, you're not going that way.
April 9th, 2016 7:59am
For me it helped, when I took ok therapy course. I was still talking and still hoping but with more knowledge I found out, that it was good decision to break up and with a time it went really well for me. We still talk and some echo of the past is still there, but it is more fun than ever and it is as rare as my salary increase :D
January 25th, 2016 4:37pm
You cant stop because you still have the need to stick with your ex. Fill in your mind with sth else. Keep yourself distract from your ex. When a time pass you will not feel the need to talk to your ex because they didnt take a part in your life for a while. Then you will find yourself doing just fine with out them.
May 27th, 2016 7:55pm
Have you thought about the reasons you keep talking to your ex? It seems that you want to stop, but something compels you to talk to them again. One tip: give yourself all the love you can. It might help to close your eyes and imagine yourself getting a hug from you. This would be a literal self-love exercise. Also, focus on an activity that you enjoy doing by yourself and take yourself on a date, even if it's watching a movie at home. Caring for yourself unconditionally is the first step to moving on.
June 10th, 2016 9:11am
When my high school sweetheart and I ended things, I unfollowed him on all social media and deleted his number after a month or so. It seemed extreme, but I personally felt it was the best decision to move forward with life. I still stand by that choice.
April 17th, 2015 5:13pm
The idea of talking to your ex is very tempting but if you want to stop, delete the number . Get a new hobby , do something constructive with your time.
June 12th, 2016 11:52am
If you want to stop talking to him/her you should tell them how you feel about it, tell them that it is over for you and maybe try and be gentle when saying it.
November 4th, 2014 5:45pm
Try to involve yourself in some constructive things, take a hobby and pursue it. It won't be easy to take mind off your ex but it surely will help.
November 5th, 2014 5:58pm
everything in life takes self control. you must have self discipline,heal yourself,make new friends and move on.
May 7th, 2015 4:19pm
Accepting that the relationship is over is the first step. When you finally accepted that its over, cutting the communication will be much easier.
September 28th, 2015 8:25pm
You can block him on your phone don't come in contact with him in public and definitely don't talk to his friends.
March 16th, 2016 10:02am
you must tell her or him that you are done and while trying to talk to you its just humiliating itself and it worths nothing at the moment.
March 31st, 2016 11:15pm
Talk to somebody else. Call a friend. Keep yourself busy, you won't have time talking to them. Also, you can message someone on this website.
April 15th, 2016 4:04am
Block him/her off of all social media, do not speak of them or to them and avoid them. Out of sight, out of mind.