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How do I tell my boyfriend I want to have a baby?

106 Answers
Last Updated: 08/03/2020 at 1:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
HelpfulCookieCrum
June 9th, 2016 11:14am
Evaluate your situation first. See if you would be able to raise a baby well enough with him before trying to ask him. If you think you will both be ready, simply ask him what his views on starting a family are. He might be ready now, but he may want more time before starting a family.
MarcoV
June 11th, 2016 7:03am
Find a good time, And tell him it is important that both have to want it. And start by agreeing on setting a deadline to think and make a decision. Let him make his choice and respect your common deadline agreement.
YourePerfect
June 11th, 2016 4:27pm
I guess it's more simple than you think. Just give him a hint or a honest 'I want a baby with you' and see how does he react. You both should have a honest conversation and reach a decision together, of course.
StayStrong152
June 15th, 2016 3:03pm
Well, that isn't just something that only you can decide so you need his opinion on it. You need to just sit him down and be open about it.
hereforyou1980
June 15th, 2016 11:41pm
Be honest, that is always the best way forward. Unfortunately mind reading isn't a skill for most men.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2016 12:18am
Honestly. It's a huge commitment and to enter into it without transparency between you and your boyfriend wouldn't be easy. Sit him down and broach the subject to him, listen to his thoughts and tell him yours.
SiriuslyAsh
June 16th, 2016 6:57am
Being honest and open is probably your best bet. Something that serious shouldn't be danced around. Clear with no miscommunication.
RogerDan555
June 17th, 2016 5:07am
Sit and talk. Having a baby should be more out of mutual understanding. Do not force your decision on him. Let him respond as well. My advice, take this step only when you both agree to it.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2016 9:52pm
Sit down just you and him and discuss how you feel and make sure you are stable enough to take care of yor baby
neverendingStar20
June 22nd, 2016 4:56am
Sit him down and talk to him about what your needs are. When talking to him about this be sure to be sensitive of his feelings and needs
gentleNight34
June 25th, 2016 11:14am
A woman should be not afraid to ask for what she wants. If its a family you seeking in a relationship you should go up straight and discuss how you both feel about it.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2016 3:46pm
I'd start by asking him more generally how he feels about having children--if he'd like to have kids someday, what his opinions are about how to raise a child, etc. Based on the answers he gives you should have a good idea as to how your soon-to-be stated desire will be received.
truelove92
July 5th, 2016 10:27am
I would tell him that I would like to gift ourselves for the love that we share by inviting a new member into the relationship who will take us to a next level of happiness.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2017 5:27pm
Try talking to him and explain how you're feeling and why do you feel like having a baby would be a good idea. If he doesn't agree, listen to his opinions and don't start a fight, and solve the problem like an understanding person.
viktor777
January 8th, 2018 9:54pm
Tell him you love him and are happy too, but having a child would make you even happier and bring you both great joy. Try to see his point of view though.
Peregrine
August 3rd, 2020 1:58am
Honesty is the best policy. Open communication is essential for every relationship, not just romantic ones. Having a conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and needs may be scary, but he is not a mind reader. Informing him of your needs is the best policy. A baby is a big commitment, so perhaps come into the conversation with responses to potential worries he may have (such as "how will we afford this" or "we work so much"). Having some answer ready for him will help show that you are serious and mean business, so to speak, which should help him feel more comfortable with the idea.