Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it normal to still want to be in a relationship with someone after they break your heart?

42 Answers
Last Updated: 11/10/2020 at 4:45am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
March 14th, 2016 3:40am
Of course. Even when someone breaks your heart, the love for them does not instantly go away. In some cases, it never goes away. It is totally normal to love someone, even after they break your heart. The danger is when you keep hanging on to that person long after the heartbreak because in my experience, I can tell you that it is definitely negative for your life.
July 13th, 2020 4:47pm
Lots of people find it difficult to seek a new relationship after a broken heart. A deep love for partners in past relationships is not abnormal, but can cause lot of pain and self-esteem issues. Even after a long time, you might consider your partner to be a good person and potentially go on a date with them. A good thing to remember is to consider whether the problems in your relationship can be resolved. However, if you would like to move on, the first thing might involve unfollowing them on social media. As someone who has never experienced a relationship I would say somebody choosing to stay in a relationship after heartbreak may be as a result of them feeling that this person is their only chance of companionship and love. If experiencing these feelings it would be best to consider and reflect on the pace of the relationship, emotional impact of the relationship, how the relationship impacted on your personality. So in general ask yourself did this person bring out the best in you and are they helping you grow.
August 3rd, 2015 8:31pm
It's very normal to still want to be in a relationship with someone after they break your heart. Love is a beautiful thing, but it can also be the one thing in life that breaks us. No matter what a person did to you or how they broke up with you, you still can't help,but want to be with them. I'm feeling this way now and it's not a fun thing to go through at all. You want to continue being with this person because you love and care about them. The love that you have for this person is getting stronger day by day even after things go left. Remember that just because someone doesn't want to be with you now, doesn't mean that they won't come back around later or in the future. Good Luck!!!! :) :) :) :)
May 27th, 2015 6:23pm
That's normal. The mind actually does something very silly to itself, if focuses on only the positives of the relationship and also wants the person more after a break up has happened. It's normal, yes, and very difficult to deal with.
April 24th, 2015 4:17am
Yes. That is completely normal. Just because they broke up with you or the relationship ended, does not mean you don't still love them. You can't go from one day loving a person, to the next not loving them. It will take some time to get through it.
September 12th, 2017 1:12pm
I think so. Because you had bonded with the person during the relationship - it makes sense you would wish they were a better person so you could be together with them again. I think that wanting them is more about you than it is about them. You have a strong ability to love and you feel loyal. Those strong loving feelings come from you - and hopefully eventually you'll see that you have the power to direct them wherever (towards whomever) you wish.
April 19th, 2016 7:58pm
Of course! If it weren't normal, how could love be the strongest feeling in the world? The feeling that compelled so many people before us to do things never before imaginable? Even if the relationship wasn't what you wished for or enjoyed, you still felt something, And that something does not leave overnight. If it did, would we ever grow? Would we ever care about all the beautiful things we had with that person? If the pain and the undying wish of being with someone again after a breakup wouldn't be there, we would have nothing to hold on to. The wish shows that what we felt was real and true. Perhaps it didn't work out this time, but whenever a door closes, somewhere a window is opened. The wish of being in the past with that person is a proof, a promise, that someday, we might find that happiness again. That we deserve what is best for us and that we deserve people who love us beyond everything. Even if it's new people and new opportunities. We deserve it. Because your question shows that when you fall in love, you love. With all your heart. And that is what really matters in this world.
May 27th, 2015 12:06pm
It Depends on you totally because usually we don't want that person back in our life. But It's fact that every person should get second chance. Be positive in every situation.
June 22nd, 2015 10:53am
Definitely. Having your heart broken by someone can be terrible, but most of the time it doesn't affect your feelings about this person. Love is a very strong emotion and it doesn't go away overnight.
April 18th, 2016 7:43am
It is normal, because u are so used to being with them that they are your safe bet. But that does not mean that it is the correct Bet to make.
February 16th, 2015 1:48pm
I don't think it's bad to think like that. You loved that person and it's kinda normal to feel that way. But just because you love them, doesn't mean you should get back with them. There's a reason why it never worked out the first time. Don't go for a second one.
June 3rd, 2015 4:02am
In my experience, yes. That's because you haven't left the idea that this person is the right for you, or maybe you think this person can change... But you need to realize that the most important thing is protected you and your feelings.
August 25th, 2015 11:13am
That's a normal reaction. Sometimes we think that heartbreak and rejection mean that we're bad human beings, or that we did something wrong. And to prove this wrong to ourselves, we try to force something else to happen, we yearn to prove our worth to the person who broke our heart or rejected us, because that seems at that point like the best way to prove our worth to ourselves.
May 10th, 2015 1:21pm
its so easy to break your heart but you got to tell him or her how it feels for you you just cant let anyone break your heart - it takes time to heal but then maybe you just want to re-consider - but best way to is to talk with each other...
February 28th, 2017 1:37am
This is absolutely normal. It takes time to get over somebody, even if they caused damage to your emotions. When you form a deep connection with somebody, it is hard to just end that. There is a withdrawal period of sorts and the only thing that helps is time. Though, if you are doing things such as following their life closely or trying to talk to them about a relationship, that will likely slow the process drastically.
December 12th, 2017 2:43pm
I brokeup 2 months back with my long distance and long term boyfriend. I was the one who initiated it and we mutually broke up. But after a few days I started to miss him and started calling and texting him and tried my best to get him back but he kept on ignoring me and saying that he doesn’t love me anymore and that he has moved on but its very difficult for me to forget all the best moments spent with him. Can i get him back? Please tell me what is wrong what is right.What should i do?
November 23rd, 2015 9:48pm
Some people don't understand why you would want too still be in a relationship after your heart is broken but it does happen this is true.... Is it Normal ? I would say it's more natural thing that happens
June 14th, 2016 2:37am
Yes, attachment to people is totally normal. That person knows you, and it doesn't feel familiar or nice to have someone who knows you so well or that you connected with well just leave your life.
July 12th, 2016 7:16am
Yeah it's pretty normal. In fact you can't stop thinking about them which makes you miss and want them even after they broke your heart.
August 22nd, 2016 11:31am
It is normal. After all, we are all humans and we are bound to make mistakes, break hearts and mend it back with love. Still, love doesn't take it all in a relationship. There is mutual understanding - the major factor one should look to.
September 1st, 2020 9:35am
hey! Sorry to hear that someone broke your heart, it's tough right? It can completely knock us down. But yes, it is normal still want to be in a relationship with someone who broke our heart. Why? Well before we had loads of memories together, we trusted them and they was a massive part of our lives. It is difficult though because if they broke your heart then maybe you could find someone better. It is all situational, but please know that how you are feeling is totally okay and normal. I hope that things get better for you soon and you heart can be healed. good luck! :)
June 17th, 2015 2:08pm
It takes time to get used to life without them. It is not wrong to miss who they were. But you have to remember that that's not who you are anymore. Allow yourself to miss them but don't let it affect you entirely.
August 10th, 2015 7:05am
Yes, it's quite common. You're simply missing being used to the things you use to do with the person you were in a relationship with.
January 9th, 2017 11:15am
I would say it is human. We all have desires, yet when a desire turns into a compulsive need we face a lot of challenges. I would encourage you to ask yourself what sort of need is there and how can you transcend over that
March 14th, 2017 6:48am
A lot of the time we tend to look back at the good parts of a relationship and become nostalgic after it has ended. We mind romanticize it and forget that there were bad moments, too. If you give a lot of your time and attention to a person, it is common to feel this way. This person was most likely a big part of your life and living without him/her can be difficult. So yes, this is an normal desire to have after your heart gets broken!
August 31st, 2015 6:29am
Hello there. Yes it is very normal to still want to be in a relationship after they broke your heart. You loved them and it is very hard to get over that. But with the right help and support you will make it through this rough time.
September 1st, 2015 2:34pm
Yes it's very normal to still want someone after they hurt us. We still want them because they are the one that we loved before they started hurting us.
September 11th, 2017 1:30pm
Absolutely. After a relationship ends, it's not uncommon to long for something that will ease the pain of heart-break. Usually, we idealize that partner coming back to us. It's natural to think this will make the pain go away.
July 7th, 2015 2:41am
It's very very normal I went through this as well. Feelings are always valid even if you think they may not be. Many people understand it
August 31st, 2015 11:58pm
Yes, if you have poured lots of time and effort into the relationship you'll still want to be with them after they've broken your heart, you'll get over it one day, just have to wait on it