Why do I always blame myself for the breakup?

Breakups are hard and sometimes we have a tendency to blame ourselves, even when the fault is not always ours. The pain associated with a breakup leads a lot of blame to be thrown around on the part of both parties involved. The key to not blaming yourself is understanding what the circumstances were that led to the breakup, rather than who is at fault.

Maybe it was your fault. Did you cheat on you ex or lie? If you didn't take action to actively break the relationship, chances are that you just weren't compatible with your ex. Relationships are not one size fits all. You can't just have a perfect relationship with anyone. Relationships are trial and error until you find the right person who shares you goals and compatibility.

Everyone has a tendency to blame themselves after a break up, because as humans we always think we're flawed. Sit down, think about everything that happened to cause the break up, and you'll find that there were issues on both sides!

everyone is their worst critic. even if it's not your fault, you'll always think it is. that's okay. just know that what happened was probably for the best

It is general conception that people tend to find their own mistakes and blame themselves even if they are not guilty.

Blaming yourself is very common. You reflect upon circumstances that occurred and you think to yourself, what if I had done this or that differently. Just be level minded with yourself that the decision you made at that present time, was the correct one.

A lot of people do that. I think we feel like the other person decided to break up because we weren't enough. We aren't objective, we don't think "We didn't get along anymore." but "Why did they leave me? What did I do wrong?". People automatically assume that they did something, but it's not true. You must accept it to be able to feel better about yourself.

This natural, most people have this reaction but in all honesty, it's no ones fault, yes even if they cheat on you. And here's why. 1.Sometimes you can love someone but not be in love with them anymore, and then the relationship becomes somewhat tiresome, this is no ones fault, you cannot force a feeling. 2.if your partner cheats on you, it's not because you are doing something wrong, sometimes people cheat not because they don't want you anymore, but because it happens unintentionally, you can fall in love with two people at the same time, believe me. 3.Sometimes you'll be the one finding someone else, and whether or not you were looking, it makes you question everything and sometimes you'll feel guilty, but that's human, you can't help when you fall in love no matter who it is. Breakups are no ones fault, breakups happen when two people found each other at the wrong time and somehow realize they're no longer compatible, even if that doesn't make it hurt any less. I do believe there's someone for everyone, and I also believe that when relationships don't work, it just means you're one step closer to finding your other half.

Lots of people tend to blame themselves for things they didn't do. So... Was it your fault? Was it your partner's? Was it generally lack of communication (both) or trust?

People sometimes feel like it’s their fault for the breakup. You shouldn’t blame yourself you didn’t do nothing.

It's easier to put blame on ourselves because we only see our flaws. At the same time it's easy to place blame on yourself (or someone else) simply because demonizing one person is easier than both people taking responsibility and blame.

I think it’s only natural to depending on the situation, but it’s important that it wasn’t all your fault. It works both ways. And the best thing to do is to try and move on instead of looking back and feeling horrible about yourself

It can be hard to see that you are not to blame completely. It might be because you have learnt that things come from your decisions. Just remember that a relationship has 2 people in it and the results are because of both of you and not just yourself.

Sometimes a breakup will end with one or both sides feeling confused or frustrated. You might be struggling to find the reason for your breakup, and eventually end up evaluating your own performance while the relationship lasted. You may start to wonder if you did poorly, and those negative thoughts will culminate into self-blame.

In a relationship problems are usually both sides, sometimes personalities might not match. Best thing to do is to find what was the main cause of the breakup, which could be dealt with by having a very mature conversation with the person

It's normal to feel this way when we care for the person we were with. Not every relationship is meant to be. As much as this hurts for some, it is the truth but the best and only thing you can do is move on by focusing on yourself and trying to improve in areas you think you need improvement in. In the end, you might have to go through a few toads before you meet your prince/princess! And your ex MIGHT be the one. Only time can tell. But you should never focus on your ex. You still have to move on even if you two are going to be together in the end.

Break ups are never easy. They often leave us questioning where things went wrong... Or what we did wrong. When we are feeling vulnerable, its easy to think that we are to blame. Its important to try learn what we could have done differently, in order to improve for future relationships... But its also important that this is a journey of self-exploration, not of self-blame. You may have made some mistakes, or maybe you didn't, but the important thing is to turn the break up into a learning experience... And try to do better in the future. Try not make this a question of who is to blame, but rather recognise this now as an opportunity for growth.

The people who blame themselves for their breakup need to upgrade their self-esteem and think of themselves as more worthier. The ones who blame themselves also do so for sympathy or are too good to make the other person look bad.

Its psychology, and its something that everyone does. Whether its you or not, it doesn't matter anymore because its over.

The main reason we blame ourselves for breakups is because we feel that we are not good enough. but you have to realize that you are good enough and if whoever broke up with you does not deserve you. you must find someone who will Cherish and love you for who you are.

It's natural for people to blame themselves for a breakup. Emotions are often running high, and people always want an answer. If they can't find an immediate answer then blaming yourself is easy to do. Understanding that there are always two people involved in a breakup is the first step to better understanding what happened

Because we fail to understand our shortcomings. It can go bothways either of the two could be the reason for it. But more importantly one must be ready to take responsibility for whatever that has happened to him/her and be willing to accept whatever the results are.

Because you always look at it with a "what did i do wrong?" perspective. How about looking at things a different way, with what he did wrong, or justify the breakup. If you leave the relationship feeling guilty, then something is wrong. Relationship issues are never completely one-sided. Chin up :)

More than likely the other person has made you feel it is all your fault. Or you are the type of person to take on the emotional burden yourself. Take a step back and think, am I really to blame? A lot of the time, you wont be. And if you are... take it as one of life's learning curves. Nobody is perfect!

Is normal as you start doubting yourself but you should know that it’s never your fault it is always mutual

Insecurity. I think my answer to this would be insecurity. When you see every single flaw of yours that others don't see, and when you think about the 'silly' things you did in the relationship. Always think about the conversation leading up to the breakup. Maybe it'll help you see that it was his/her fault as well. It doesn't have to be all your fault, or all his/her fault! It can be both parts, remember this :( remember to stay with good friends and good vibes to try to cope with this breakup. I wish you all well :(

We always think it is our fault when we get dumped. It is natural to think that way. When you get dumped, that person will put the blame on you.

Because it is easier to make yourself look bad than realize that the other person is not who you believed they were. You tend to want to keep that good image of them you once had.

I think part of it is our minds looking for closure, and we want to understand what went wrong and how things could have been different. This doesn't mean it is all your fault though, but I understand the blaming because I have done it after past break ups aswell. I hope you can find peace and move forward in your life.

Don't blame yourself for a break up, these things happen. It's all apart of growing up and it teaches us lessons. But blaming yourself for a break up won't help you to grow and take away the nice things from your relationship. A break-up always happens because of something and generally break-ups are two way things.