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Why am I surrounded by people and still feel lonely?

31 Answers
Last Updated: 07/27/2020 at 4:57pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lara Gregorio, LCSW

Therapist

I believe that depression can feel all-consuming. I have a real passion for helping my clients to reclaim their voices and lives from depressive thoughts.

Top Rated Answers
Solia
November 14th, 2016 2:09am
Feeling lonely while surrounded by people is not abnormal. In fact, it's quite normal, especially if you're dealing with mental issues. A person can have friends, partners, significant others and still feel lonely because loneliness comes from within. If the people surrounding you don't see you, understand you or know what you want or need to talk about, that can easily make you feel alone.
Bekiraine1412
April 24th, 2015 6:28pm
Because in your heart you wonder if they even care. Yes, it is possible to feel lonely even when you're around people. I've experienced it myself.
Matth13er
November 2nd, 2017 6:19pm
I suffer the same way. For me, it is because I feel worthless and unlovable, therefore I underestimate how much other people care about me. With my closest friend, we say we love each other and tell each other our secrets, and yet I still feel insecure with him. I have a very low opinion of myself, and I am always so careful in trusting others, and I always feel like people don't like me. Sometimes I feel like withdrawing and testing my friends. I truly care about my friends, and I always feel that it is one-sided, even when they pass every test I throw at them. The fact that I test most of my friends makes me feel even worse about the relationships, making me feel even more lonely. Even those who I know care, I am afraid they won't if they somehow see the 'real' me, even if they already have.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2015 3:05pm
Sometimes its because we shut them out and hold back anything and everything we have ever wanted to say.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2015 2:52pm
I think that it doesn't matter how many people your around. You may feel like nobody understands you or knows how you feel. That makes you feel lonely.
mayssamk
February 22nd, 2016 6:46pm
Because there's a difference between loneliness and being alone. You can be surrounded by millions of people and still feel alone because you can lack a connection with these people- a click or a "feeling" between you and them which allows you to relate and fully share what you know, think, feel, or are going through. You can be lonely when you're surrounded by people because you aren't surrounded by the right people for you.
facades
May 27th, 2015 2:03pm
Sometimes when you're around people who you feel like aren't genuinely there for you, you feel left out. Its important to realize that when you're going to be around people who care about you, you're not going to feel alone.
StarvingArtist25
May 24th, 2015 5:10pm
Often times someones loneliness stems from being misunderstood. You can still feel alone in a sea of people.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2018 3:39am
Even if you're surrounded by people you can still feel lonely by not being comfortable to socialize with other people as well as not knowing how to join in on a certain topic or conversation that leads you to feeling isolated.
ahasbeamer
April 2nd, 2015 4:54pm
It isn't really the number of people that matters but the quality of the relationship. It is important to socialize but to also have close friends that can share your troubles and lighten your load.
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2015 3:57am
Loneliness is a perspective and a feeling generating by your internal world rather than the external world. Feeling like you have nothing in common with others, feeling alienated, can make you feel alone even when with other people.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2018 11:32pm
I have multiple friends although I am very lonely it upsets me that I am lonely even tho I have close involves friends. I feel I am lonely because I do not have a partner. Yes my friends love me and try their best to show support but I feel if I had a partner I would be able to love someone more than just a good friend and vice versa. I believe friendships and relationships are different and you can be completely sociable and loved in the friend aspect while being extremely lonely in the partner aspect.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2015 9:38pm
when we don't let people in, we will always feel lonely. Even if we're surrounded by people who care. We have to see that if someone sticks by our side it is because they truly care. and if they stick long enough, it is safe to let our guards down. Trying to see the good in others and ways they will help us is always important.
Anonymous
July 27th, 2015 11:57am
You are probably depressed or have some regrets of past which makes you feel lonely. In some cases you feel Ohk when you are surrounded but you get crazy when you are left alone.
colourfulFlute75
May 31st, 2015 11:44am
Depression leads a person into isolation. The low feelings make people feel alone in a crowd. People often feel misunderstood as well.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2017 6:09pm
There is a saying: we live alone, we die alone, everything. Else is just an illusion. If it is true, then we should search for the purpose of our life in this earth. I think we need search the truth of our past and then we will find the future path and understand that we all have separate mission in this earth. We born in family, but we still have A different identity "self." For example, my twin did not like my favorite food. She is different than me. My suggestion: explore the world, travel the place, explore different people and their histories and understand " who you are "!
sealsagnik
July 10th, 2018 11:12am
Being surrounded by people and still feeling lonely can be caused by a variety of reasons. I would like to note down some of them that I have personally experienced: 1. When you are surrounded by people with different mindset or interests than yours, you wouldn't usually find the conversations interesting and feel isolated. And also, they wouldn't find your ideas appealing or meaningful most of the times. 2. You may feel lonely because you may not have a partner. Yes, some people may have several caring friends and still feel lonely. This is mostly because you see friendship and relationships as totally different aspects and you must be totally loved in the friend aspect and feel lonely in the partner aspect. 3. The solution may lie within your heart if you tend to hold back on expressing yourself infront of people and they may be right there wanting to help but will never know when you need it unless you ask for it. hope this helps, Sagnik Seal
Anonymous
March 8th, 2016 6:08am
I wish I had the perfect answer for this, but usually it tends to be depression who is trying to push you away from those who love you and care. Loneliness is not forever and it gets better, you'll get better.
Pineapplescanhelp
September 28th, 2015 8:29am
You could feel like no one would be able to understand you or can't see the real you. You should open up to give them a chance to see the real you.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 5:24am
Because you may be told everything’s your fault. All the time, you may feel like people are there for you and you come to learn there not. It’s not fun to be in this position.
Anonymous
June 6th, 2015 4:59pm
It may depend on the people who surround you or on your mood in the very moment. Do you interact with those people? Make the first step, start talking to them and you may find a soulmate.
butterflywings44
December 11th, 2017 12:53am
You might still feel lonely because of lack of support from those around you. You should look into peer groups in your community for others going through the same kinds of problems as you.
Anonymous
May 8th, 2015 3:08pm
You're not surrounded by the right people, or you're surrounded by TOO many people! I get that a lot too.
Redcat
January 25th, 2016 6:36pm
Firstly you need to find out why, It could be that you feel you can't be yourself around these people or feel unwanted. Once you find the reason you can find a way to work on that :) don't give up
Bblovetj
March 7th, 2016 5:38am
Sometimes we feel lonely even when we are around a lot of people because we aren't surrounding ourselves with the right people. Find those people and only surround yourself with them.
UnicornCalm12200
January 13th, 2017 11:55am
Sometimes you don't have not have anyone around you to be lonely. I call it emotionaly lonely and physically lonely. Emotionaly being the way you feel, in your head. Like your all alone and you cant talk to anybody and nobody is there when there is hundreds of people around you. Then Physically being completely and utterly nobody around you. But there is always someone around you to speak to and chat to, the way you feel is a form of depression and you can speak to a therapist about this.
Anonymous
May 29th, 2018 12:23pm
at some point in life everyone goes though it, i have a lot of friends and family we are very close too but i feel very lonely at times/ most of the time wanting someone to be close too, but i have learned that i should be happy and forget about those things and focus on the goods thing that make you happy to keep you busy so you don't think about it or even talk to someone that you are very close too and would like to share things with our judgement. That's what helps me overcome theses times and i hope this helps too but everyone copes differently.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2018 5:27pm
Lonely is about feeling alone not being alone You feel this way because you need more understanding.
Anonymous
December 12th, 2017 1:10pm
Being lonely and alone are totally different things. Loneliness is rather a state of mind, so it's quite normal to feel so even when you're surrounded by alot of people. You might be feeling lonely because you either feel out of place around these people or feel like you're not being understood by them. It could also happen if you're dealing with other mental health related issues.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2017 10:03am
Because feeling lonely is not being alone. When you are alone you don't have anyone around you. But feeling lonely is a feeling from the inside of you. You may feel lonely even though you are surrounded by someone because you don't feel connected with them like you don't have much in common. Or they don't understand you or don't know how you feel