I'm cheating on my husband or wife. Am I a bad person?
122 Answers
Last Updated: 12/07/2020 at 9:24am
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Polly Letsch, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.
Top Rated Answers
Not a bad person. But perhaps an unhappy one. Or maybe poly relationships are for you. There are many different types of relationships
Its wrong to be unfaithful to your spouse, think about how you would you feel if you were cheated on
You are not a bad person. You are making a wrong choice which will hurt your family eventually. Rather than cheat, try new things in bed or therapy
Cheating doesn't mean you are a bad person. I am not saying that it is a good thing to do though. It's fair to say that something isn't right with the current relationship so instead of cheating, openly talk to your partner and try to resolve any issues that may be present. If that cannot be done it may be best to end the relationship amicably.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2015 4:33pm
Cheating does not make you a bad person. Cheating make you a cheater. Think about it. You married your husband and/or wife with the intent to be with your spouse for the rest of your life. Your vows says it all. Running away from your problems by cheating won't benefit you or your spouse in any way. Sitting down with your spouse and have a heart to heart conversation on what is bothering you about and in your relationship might solve many problems. Always remember that before you cheat on your partner try to come to a solution for a better relationship. Communication is key. If that fails maybe you can go to the next step.
I don't personally believe that something that someone does defines them as a person. So, something that you do maybe bad, but it does not mean that you are a bad person.
In my opinion, cheating is a sign that something is missing in the relationship. It is a sign something is amiss. It could also signify something is missing that has nothing to do with a spouse. It is a solution that usually does not solve the whatever is missing and oftentimes results in unwanted consequences. It is not a definition of a bad person, although it is a signal of being confused about what's needed to bring contentment or maintaing the health of the marriage.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2015 5:53am
Cheating on your spouse does not automatically bad you a bad person, but there is a lot to consider and you should take the responsibility if you're hurting other people (spourse, children, family, friends, etc.)
What we do is not who we are; it is an action that is part of our path, a decision that makes sense at the time for whatever reason. Our frame of mind influences how we act or react, so sometimes looking at the frame of mind that influenced a decision we regret for example can help in adjusting the behavior if that is what we want to do. So every experience is useful, "good" or "bad". It's what we do with what we learn from that experience that determines our future and how we choose to influence it and therefore how we feel about ourselves. I believe there is no good or bad, just useful information that gives us the power to choose differently or not next time.
If you have a trusting spouse back home, you're certainly not a very reliable partner. Nor very bright.
Anonymous
November 18th, 2015 10:44pm
No one can pass judgment, but marriage is based on trust. Maybe you should reevaluate your marriage.
There is more to a person than just being good or bad. Cheating, while certainly not a good thing in a relationship, does not make you a bad person. Cheating means you're making and have made mistakes and choosing to reconcile those mistakes does not make them go away; but, could help you feel less bad about the decisions.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2015 3:39pm
The anwser to this question cant be anwserd by any one else this is on your personl belifes and if you belie it is immoral
Yes,literally but practically no until your husband finds out. It will also depend on the situation you are in.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2015 7:12pm
No, its just not a good thing to do, what if your significant other was cheeting on you, how would you feel?
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2015 11:52am
No, you are not a bad person. You just need to think about what the husband/wife is feeling. It's important to like at both sides of the issue.
Your individual actions do not define who you are. Cheating is a very serious thing that comes with severe negative consequences. Though it may not impact you, it can strong impact your husband's/wife's psychological self, giving them very bad trust issues.
Anonymous
November 26th, 2015 7:18am
No but if truly unhappy, it's time to think about what you want. To stay and work on things with your husband or wife? Or to leave the marriage and be single to freely be with other people
Anonymous
November 27th, 2015 5:00am
Hello; I just want to make sure I understand; you are cheating on your husband or wife and you are wondering if this makes you a bad person?
No you aren't a bad person. How has your relationship with your significant other been up until this point?
Not a good person, but not a bad one. If you are cheatting on someone, why are you still with that person? If you are cheatting is because you are bored, tired or whatever of that person.
All depends: Are you not feeling loved? Wanted? Needed? Everyone needs someone! Of course you're not
Your only a bad person if you believe your doing wrong. In my opinion it's just a state of mind, just like a husband abusing his wife, he may not see it as wrong, and therefore to him he's not doing wrong.
No, I don't believe there is truly any bad people in the world. Where all just people and sometimes as human beings we make mistakes and make bad choices. But we live and we learn and ultimately we make the decision we feel is right for us and our life. everybody perception, belief system, morals and values is different.
You aren't a bad person, your heart just got lost. Anyways if he doesn't make you happy enough to be with him or her, and only him or her, you shouldn't be married anymore.
No, you are not. Just confused with your feelings. I`d suggest talking to your husband/wife and discussing your feelings with them. Seems plain and obvious, but it is better then decieving them.
Anonymous
December 15th, 2015 5:56pm
I don't think you're a bad person. But you will hurt them if they ever find out. And before you get badly hurt from it i think you should figure out what you want to do, and who you want to be with before things get really bad.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2016 6:46pm
It doesnt make you a bad person. It just means there are some serious issues in your relationship that need to be worked on.
Usually, the cheater is seen as a bad person from everyone around him/her: this person apparently ruined another person's life with this kind of behaviour but it's important to understand the deeper reasons, relationships sometimes are not made for during a long time, difficulties and obstacles may be the main enemies of a relationship. We are human, after all. You're not a bad person, you are a person.
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