My parents are getting divorced - what can I do?
35 Answers
Last Updated: 10/19/2020 at 4:28am
Moderated by
Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy
Psychotherapist
I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.
Top Rated Answers
In my experience, the most important thing to do in times of stress is take care of yourself. The problems between your parents is just that-their problem. So focus on you.
Understand that although things will change, things are going to get better. Your parents will be happier and you'll learn life skills. An important thing for you to do is be supportive and help out around the house
It's a very emotional time when your parents are getting divorced and it is okay to be unsure of how are feeling. Whether you're angry or sad what you are feeling is normal. It will be a bit up and down for a while but don't be afraid to ask for help or to come to me and just vent.
This sounds awful and very distressing! Sometimes things come to an end in life and you shouldn't put pressure on yourself in thinking their is anything you can do, this can lead to you feeling depressed .. All you can do is support them both and be their for them both hope this helps, keep your chin up!xxx
It's never easy when parents separate, make sure they both know how you feel about it. It's also important to know whats gonna happen after, tell them to tell you whats gonna happen.
You can be a strong person. Try to understand that there is nothing you can do and it will take time to accept it but you can do it eventually.
Nothing. There is nothing you can do. You can't fix their relationship. I have tried for years to fix my parents' relationship only to be deeply hurt and damaged by it. I view relationships weirdly now because of it. The best thing to do, is show them both you care about them and respect their decision. As long as they are both still there for you when you need them, all is for the best x
Anonymous
October 19th, 2020 4:28am
Your parents are getting divorced-- a tough time to deal with. Being honest, you cannot prevent the actions of people, more or less adults. This time of your life can be extremely tough, and can be a dark time. It's okay to not be okay. As much as you might want for things to go different, there isn't much to do. Care for yourself and do your best to get through it. What helped me in this time was to really just to say "I can do this", relax, and keep your loved ones close. Talking as well with your parents on how you feel about this can help too. best wishes
Anonymous
December 26th, 2015 1:01pm
All I can say is take care of yourself because it is really hard for us to know that our parents are getting divorced but i have something that you can do, firstly, spend some time with each of your parents and let them vent about what they feel because when parents are getting divorced they feel that nobody cares about them anymore since the other parent was all they had, so if you talk to them they will feel that someone is there for them through this hard time they are going through :)
Practice many things that help you calm down and express your anger in a healthy way. You may feel a loss of control or a declining academic performance, but your parents are having troubles. And it will more than likely get better once they split and their feelings of anger or stress subside.
The decisions that your parents make is their choice that they have to leave with. You are not responsible for the decisions that they make and they happiess. You are only responsible for your own happiness.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2016 5:03pm
If your parents are getting divorced this is not your fault never blame your self all you can do really is support both parents through this hard time.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2016 10:32pm
Divorce is hard. It's hard for everyone who's part of a family that's going through it. Since this problem is not directly yours, the best thing you can do is be supportive on both sides- don't choose a side. I come from a divorced family, and taking sides is not helpful for your parents are struggling with a decision that is very hard to take. Be understanding, be loving; at the end of the day, this is not your fault and giving your back to one of your parents only makes the situation harder.
You can talk to them and tell them how you feel about it and if possible ask them to reconcile differences for love and better development
Anonymous
May 8th, 2017 4:33am
It helps to understand that you can't do anything to change their decision. But you can focus on yourself at this point. Try to keep yourself healthy and emotionally stable. If you feel overwhelmed try to seek help from a counselor or any one available to you just so you are in a healthy state of mind. Which will in turn make you capable of helping your parents or siblings cope. Do not neglect yourself.
What you can do is to not blame yourself. You can be there for both of your parents, tell both of them that you love them and do not take sides. Also do not let them use you to bad mouth one over the other.
Well first off I would examine the belief as to why you feel the need to do anything. What is it that you are trying to control? What is preventing you from accepting the fact that two grown adults no longer want to be together. I actually think I was done more harm because my parents didn't divorce. There was always fussing and name calling and emotional abuse. To this day I still find myself proving to myself my self-worth. So you have to look at it from a long-range perspective also. Sure it may be painful at first, but how painful could it become if they remained together?
there is nothing you can do you just have to be there for them both your mother and father if you have any siblings help them understand it is not their fault kids will tend to blame themselves but it is not your fault always keep that in mind
There isn't much you can do unfortunately, just try to keep or build the relationship you want with them. Stay strong and keep involved with them. It is important to remember it isn't your fault.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2018 1:54am
Divorce is a really hard pill to swallow. Unfortunarely there's nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is learn how to handle it. Pickup coping skills to help you get through it. Journal about it. Talk to a friend. Talk to your parents. Let them know how you feel.
Understand what your parents are doing is no reflection on the care and love they have for you. They are at a stage where can longer live with each other.
Understand that this is for the best and that they are doing this because they were not happy. If you love them, their happiness should matter to you most.
I'll try to communicate how I feel about what they are going to do. Tell them how I will be sad, afraid about the future and loosing my confidence.
Going through a parents' divorce, the best thing to do is recognize that it is not your fault and that the love your parents have for you will not change. Try to create a schedule of how you will see both parents as much as possible and remain positive. Remind yourself that the divorce is happening for a reason that is good for you all, and that life and your love for each other will still go on.
Anonymous
April 30th, 2015 11:10pm
Always remember that you are separate from anything that happens between them. Do not bog yourself down with questions of why this is happening, or if it's your fault, or anything like that - without meaning to sound careless, it's their problem, not yours. Just deal with looking after yourself. The divorce could be messy, or it could not. The way you deal with the situation will utterly depend on how it goes. The best you can do is be a support to yourself, and in turn this will keep your parents grounded.
There is nothing you can do. Just be there for them and know that we here at 7 Cups can and will help you if needed. Know that they still care about you and the divorce between them is not because of anything they did.
Talk to them. This involves you as much as them. Don't let them bad mouth each other in front of you. Try not to take sides.
Do not take sides without good reason. No matter whose idea it was, they will both be hurting and need your support.
There isn't anything you can do. Parents usually get divorced because of each other. Maybe they've lost feelings for one another, or just don't get along. It's not your fault.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2014 3:32am
There is nothing that you can do, because it is not your fault. It's hard to see family break up, but it is what your parents want because they think it is best.
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