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I never feel the right emotions at the right time, can I change that?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 07/11/2017 at 6:17pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
September 12th, 2014 9:16pm
I don't think there's such thing as "right" emotions. Your emotions are part of you. Learning to accept your emotions is an important part of learning to accept yourself. What you can change is how your emotions affect your behavior. For example, when you are angry, you can let your anger take over and "blow up". Or, you can talk it out and explain to people why you feel the way you do. Your emotions ARE valid, and it's okay to feel what you feel! Explaining your reasoning to others will hopefully lessen your emotions and help you reach a productive solution, rather letting the emotion stay bottled up inside of you because you don't feel it's the right emotion, which will only make you feel worse, and won't help the situation get any better.
October 13th, 2014 7:10pm
Yes.. You can feel the right emotions at the right time. You can change it, if you wish to. Its just that you dont have to supress any of your emotions and there it is! You will have your natural emotion at the time.
October 30th, 2014 5:07am
No, you cannot change that - because emotions are neither "right" nor "wrong." You feel what you feel, and you cannot help that. Most importantly, what you feel is legitimate, regardless of how much logical sense it makes. Our emotions are not tied to our rationale, and we cannot take a logical approach to an emotional destination. You do feel the right emotions at the right time. Whenever you feel your emotions is the right time.
October 15th, 2014 4:43am
Of course, :) feeling the wrong emotions at the right time signifies emotional instability. It's like you were standing in a balancing platform and in order to change that it takes small sure steps like building your self confidence and a strong positive view of yourself :)
November 3rd, 2014 2:07pm
Speaking about your emotions out loud helps you focus on what is truly upsetting you. It can be very therapeutic.
September 16th, 2014 12:31am
I think you can do anything you set your mind too. There is a forum on 7 cups that talk about managing emotions that could help.
October 3rd, 2014 5:41pm
Yes you can, but first you need to listen to your self an reflect on those times when you feel like your emotions are not matching your experience. Maybe your current emotion, whether it mathces what's going on or not, is giving you a message on an important life issue you might want to work on. You can always start by asking "Why do I not feel the right emotions at the right time?" and possibly write down your answer to reflect on it later. I wish you the best.
October 21st, 2014 8:06pm
I think that you can change (or at least work on) your attitude in certain situations, which can in the end benefit your mood. For example, looking at the positives instead of the negatives can make a huge difference.
October 27th, 2014 6:13pm
Maybe not, you know yourself better than anyone. But, always remind yourself that you're a good person and you play a important in this world.
November 1st, 2014 10:10am
Hmmm... there really is no such thing as "right emotion" actually ... how you feel is how you feel. Some of us need a little extra time to process through emotions.
November 3rd, 2014 12:30pm
you can not practice emotional. its the feeling that you have in certain situations. there may be other reasons for this but the most common is absent mind and not giving enough importance to that particular situation. Try to be more focus and involved in particular situation.
November 8th, 2014 10:53pm
You absolutely can change it! I believe that we choose our emotions, whether consciously or unconsciously. The first step to changing your emotions is to become aware of them. When you realize what you're feeling at what time then you can ask yourself whether that's what you want to be feeling in that moment. If the answer is no then ask yourself what do I want to be feeling right now and imagine, in other words pretend, that's what you feel. At first this will feel awkward and forced, but after practicing a few times choosing your emotions will feel just as natural letting them choose you.
November 11th, 2014 9:59pm
It may not seem like it at times, but you are always in control of your emotions and thoughts. We cannot control what happens to us, but we are in complete control of how we react to the things life throws at us. Not that controlling your emotions/thoughts is easy--it's quite the contrary. It takes practice and a strong desire to change, but in the end it's worth it.
May 8th, 2015 4:35am
Nope, you are a post-processor....meaning your mind goes in self preservation mode as to protect yourself.... This is usually common in people who have experienced traumatic distress in their childhood or even adult's basically our minds saying "wait, before I process this feeling let me make sure it's one worth remembering and feeling"
January 11th, 2016 11:12pm
Everyone expresses emotions differently. People celebrate in their own way and people grieve uniquely. There is no cookie cutter way to feel the so called "right" feeling at any given time. You are your own person and you feel what you feel when you feel it. Acceptance of yourself is a wonderful way of working through that. If you want to change, exercise a listening regimen with friends and family and pay attention to reactions and then line those reactions up with how you're feeling. Only do this for you, because you want to. Not because someone wants you to.
March 22nd, 2016 6:40pm
Sometimes the "right" emotion isn't necessarily what we think it should be. Emotions rarely lie - if you're happy or angry or sad it might not be the certain situation you're in causing it. If you feel that you're not happy when out with friends there may be an underlying issue. Instead of criticizing how you feel invest in trying to determine what those feelings are and why they happened. You might find that there is more to a situation than what meets the eye.
October 25th, 2016 2:41pm
There are no rules in feelings. No right feeling at the right time. You feel what you need at the moment that you need in order for your body and mind to have the optimum functioning
July 11th, 2017 6:17pm
We are influenced by environment, family, events, the media and others throughout our life span. Human have the ability to differentiate between right or wrong. Sometimes we are getting confused by others. Most people think all people do that means it is reasonable. But here quality is matter. We can practice free will in deciding what to do with them when they arise. For example, I saw a television advertisement where it shows give a rose to your love one. I thought every person like flowers from their loved one. But I then realized my loved one like bird. So do not try to influence by others. You are unique with your unique personality. So believe in yourself. Walk in others shoe, you will find how to feel the emotions at that time.