Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

If someone is angry at me, should we talk it out at that moment or wait until they are not angry anymore?

47 Answers
Last Updated: 05/18/2020 at 5:02am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Kajsa Futrell, RTC


I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
April 4th, 2015 5:03pm
If I were you I would wait a day or two to let the tempers cool down a bit. Try to collect objective arguments to clear up the initial argument you've had. Try to approach the other person in a calm and friendly way, to prepare a good and structured talk.
August 4th, 2015 8:54pm
To me, I would let both of us calm down first, then we will talk and solve the problem. Because when people is angry, he/she may speak something too fast that may hurt people.
April 23rd, 2015 4:25pm
Anger is very unctrollable emotion. It is one of the strongest " emotions" we humans can get. If someone is angry at You, and they don't know how to control their anger and calm down, It is good to let them to calm down by themselves for a while, and then talk with them.
May 16th, 2015 3:20am
The pros in waiting until they have calmed down to talk to them is that they will receive and consider what you have to say with a more open mind and with more logic. Although the con to that is, if left mad for too long, that somebody could irrationally think or assume of a lot of things to make their anger towards you intensify. The quote 'An idle mind is the devils playground.' can somewhat relate to that. You understand your situation with that person the best, so the last decision is up to you. Consider the pros and cons and i'm sure you will do the right thing.
April 4th, 2015 1:27pm
Yup, if it is possible try to avoid talking to them until they get cooled down. Or if you cannot avoid the situation , try not arguing with them so as to avoid hurting each other even more
January 18th, 2015 5:24pm
Give them some space to reflect on everything. When they calmed down you can talk to them and hope that they are not as angry as they were before.
April 17th, 2015 1:53pm
For me, wait for a moment when they are not angry anymore. Let their anger simmer down. If a person is angry it is their emotion who is talking and not their conscious self.
September 15th, 2015 12:57pm
Wait it out, you both need time to think things through. So give it 3 to 4 hours time. No longer because then they will think you don't want to make up and solve the situation
March 27th, 2015 1:36am
It really depends on the situation and how you both are able to handle yourselves in your anger. Taking time off to cool down can make it difficult to go back and address the issue, but having a clear head can really help to resolve the conflict--there are obviously pros and cons in each situation, and it's really up to both of you to decide how to handle the situation. It's really helpful to remember that there are no "right" or "wrong" decisions in life--just actions and reactions, so whatever you decide to do is no less valid than any other option.
June 11th, 2015 2:56am
Wait it out. When someone is angry, words are said that weren't meant to be said and feelings are easily hurt. Give the person some space and talk it out calmly when the time is right.
June 17th, 2015 11:23am
Best to wait until everyone is calm and good again. Anger can make you say and do things you dont mean and usually makes people more mad.
- Expert in Managing Emotions
April 5th, 2016 8:29am
Wait till they cool down will be the best time. Cause people do and say crazy things when they are overwhelmed with emotions. That may cause worst damage then help.
January 20th, 2015 11:52am
Anger would only lead one to say what they don't really mean to, it's always better to just wait until the anger subside and talk the problem calmly. If you talk it out the moment both are angry mostly likely it would only be a shouting contest anyway
May 10th, 2015 8:47am
I personally think that if you can talk it out at that moment , you should, but do it calmly.And if things are too heated, I suggest that you both should calm down first. Then talk about it after things have calmed down. :)
May 22nd, 2015 6:26pm
Wait until they are not angry anymore. Because when we gets angry. We cant calm down and we wont listen to anything. The best way to to talk to them, is to let them be alone. Then calmly,soft toned talk to them. They'll likely reply you even though they are still angry.
July 26th, 2016 3:14pm
Waiting is better I guess. I have a friend, when he is get angry he can say everything and never accept his do some of the things in a wrong way. After a while we can talk better. If he talk while he is angry, he broke lots of heart. I hope it will be helpful
June 30th, 2015 5:28am
When someone is angry at me i will give him sometime to think and cool down the situation before i talk to him. Giving a person time to think and reflect about the situation may help him realize which part he loses control .
August 18th, 2015 2:46pm
It is best to wait until they are not angry anymore. From experience I can say that when people are angry, they say or do things that are out of character and most of the time, they don't mean them. Their emotions get the better of them and they're really not thinking rationally. Give that person some time and space to just calm down... whether it be an hour or a day or even a week (depends on the person) and then approach them.
May 3rd, 2015 5:42pm
Talk to them about how they feel like handling the situation. Asking if they would like to talk about it now or if they need time to cool off will help set the tone for a problem solving discussion instead of a emotionally fueled fight. It shows that you are thinking of their needs before your own and that you are trying to accommodate their needs. So ask them if they would like to talk about it now or if they need some time to be left alone. No matter what they say, stick to accommodating them even if it isn't what you feel like doing. Tell them that you will agree to give them space if they wish it, but you are ready to talk at any time they want.
January 20th, 2015 11:54am
Wait it out. Let the other person calm down first and have more control over his/her own emotions first before talking it out. Usually a calm person would make a more sensible decision of handling the situation more maturely, instead of being caught up in their emotions and making rash decisions.
April 26th, 2015 3:02pm
It'll depend on how willing they are to listen to you at the moment and how likely you are to get angry or too emotional back at them. If there's a chance they would hear you out, or if you could remain calm, show you get their point of view, and then say your side of the story, talking it out could be helpful. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with waiting when everyone has cooled off and more rational.
May 28th, 2015 4:48am
I usually try to inquire and listen now, but wait to speak until after they've expressed interest to hear. This can take more or less time dependent on the situation. The key then, since I have needs for sharing also, is to get together with someone whom I can share with now, in confidence. Then I don't "stuff" or "bottle" in any resentment I may feel, but can reflect and ultimately regain adequate emotional stasis to continue functioning progressively.
September 19th, 2015 1:44pm
We react to the stimuli around us, people run, so we run in similar direction without even knowing the nature of thing or situation we are running away from. Seeing someone sad makes us sad and seeing someone angry makes us angry. Hence when someone is angry is at us, we also become somewhat heated despite our best efforts. The person fuming with negative emotion, will react to the negative stimuli (you) and will become more angry. Talking will distract us and some anger will leak through our mouth. It's best to remain calm and look in the eyes of angry person with calm and understanding. It will require the least bit of concentration and will be effective as that person view is clouded and will see understanding through eyes and other emotions which are not even there in his want to see. Thus it will calm him down and will listen to you with more attention than he would to anyone since you are the one who approached him and tried to understand him.
October 26th, 2015 10:48am
Depending on the situation, try and understand and put yourself in the person's shoes. It's important to talk it out at that moment if the response is in a calm and controlled manner that will not fuel his/her aggression and rage. Sometimes, tempers can overflow and silent time will help the person soothe and recollect his/her thoughts.
June 4th, 2015 11:25pm
Entirely depends on the circumstances: the person, how angry they are, what they are angry about, your emotional state, etc. Sometimes talking it out in the moment will work, sometimes it will just provoke the person further and a productive solution cannot be reached while they are in that state of mind. In general, it can be a safer choice to wait until both parties have cooled down, but you will need to read the situation and determine it for yourself.
April 19th, 2016 8:25am
Ofcourse wait until they are not angry anymore because people stay stuff in the heat of the moment and then regret.. If the person you are talking to is angry eventually you'll get angry too.. So yeah..
April 17th, 2018 10:00pm
It depends on the situation, I guess, and your relationship with the person. But, usually, in general, waiting it out, is helpful. People listen better.
June 22nd, 2015 1:28am
If they are someone that won't listen right then and there when they are angry, it's best to wait when there is a better time to talk it out. Otherwise, the sooner the better. You may never know what the reasonings may have been.
June 22nd, 2015 6:13pm
wait until both are not angry anymore. When you are angry you can say stupid things, you might regret. Peace is everything.
June 30th, 2015 9:55pm
Well, it really depends on the moment and the person involved. Sometimes, we can't afford to wait for the other person to cool down. Some people are more conducive to runaway emotions than other. Of course, it's probably preferable to discuss emotionally charged matters in as calm and rational a state as possible.