Best way to get over a break up?
Last Updated: 04/19/2021 at 8:19pm
Danielle Gonzales, PsyD
Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!
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How to get over someone, A step by step guide Few concepts you must understand: •"The One" Concept is a myth: One of the main reasons if not the main reason people don't recover from breakups is that they believe in the one Myth. Your subconscious mind can never heal if it believed that the person who broke up with you was the best person who ever existed. By learning more about the "one" concept and understanding that we all have lots of potential partners out there you will be able to get rid of the pain associated with a breakup •Lots of people can be the One: I have explained before in my article the psychology of love that we fall in love with those who match some of the criteria we have in our subconscious mind. This means that more than one person can match our criteria!! Moreover you might fall in love with someone who matched 30 out of your forty subconscious criteria while in fact there could be a person out there who matches 35 of them!! •Being dumped doesn’t mean that you are bad: Contrary to common beliefs a big part of the pain experienced after a breakup is not related to the person we loved but to our hurt Egos, shaken self confidence, worries about the future and the feelings of loneliness. By learning how to divide your bad feelings into small parts and by understanding the root cause behind each part's you will be able to heal yourself completely without needing the person who dumped you!! •Recovering from breakups much faster: Once you understand why do we fall in love, why we feel bad after breakups and how love psychology works you won't only recover from the current breakup but you will get over the next ones much faster. You will never have any problems getting over someone and You will know how to get over someone even if you think that you can't forget him
I would consider the best way is through the support of close family and friends.It might also be worth thinking of the reasons behind the break up and seeing if you could take something positive from a overall 'tough' life experience eg.a knowledge that for example you do not work long terms with someone who is afraid of commitment.I would also say that trying to re-engage with activities that were a bigger part of your life prior to the relationship maybe a time demanding hobby for example could be helpful in taking your mind of it and helping you reach out soically of course you can also speak to the 7cups Listeners too.
You need to realise that it is your past now. The more you think of it, the more it will harm you. He/She didn't deserve to live in your life. Always remember that everything happens for a reason. :)
Believe in yourself that you can love another person who will make you happy than you are before. Love the person that will let you cry because of joy.
Break ups take time to get over, but in my experience there is a reason for everything. When going through a difficult break up, sometimes it's best to get out of the environment you are in, take a trip or go stay with a friend or your relatives for a while. It is not usually good to spend too much time alone.
Give yourself some time to heal. Spend time with your family and friends. Explore your interests. Find new interests. Then when you are ready, you can start to reflect and see where the problems in the relationship were, without letting your emotions get in the way.
Love yourself. Surround yourself with people you love, things you love or anythinv that makes you happy. Make yourself busy and avoid staying in your room all alone. It will haunts you every second if you give it a chance. Fill your emptiness with new hobby or going out with your family/friends. Keep yourself with motivational quotes or stories and always keep yourself healthy. It takes time to heal the broke heart, but whatever you plan to do during that certain period..make sure that you love yourself and no one can be in the same level of love towards your own body. You are worth than anything and don't harm yourself, crying all night. It doesn't change anything. Move on. Love yourself.
The best way for me to get over a break up is forgiveness. Forgive what he/she had done to me, cause as I forgive, I could have a better life and get my life back on track.
- Feel those complex emotions, without trying to avoid them - Work on yourself - Change of style or place, might do some good - Try something new - Make efforts to fall in love with yourself - Embrace your individuality - Work on your friendships and relationships with family - Most importantly, vent to those who can understand and acknowledge, how you feel.
The best way to get over a breakup is to decide if the person was actually bringing out the best in you and if you two were actually encouraging and doing the same with each other. If it didn't click, then you can't really help that. Also you have to ask yourself if that person was someone who actually cared about you and if you actually felt the same yourself. You should always be willing to give them time to think unless it's all the time - then they're just over thinking and don't know what they want. If the person never really cared about you in the first place and it just didn't work, you can't sweat it. Always fight for what you love and believe in but never be someone's second choice or you're going to have to drop them.
Watch a lot of movies, go out a lot and have fun! But most importantly, learn to forgive and forget your ex partner. This actually helps a load off your chest because suffering from break ups are mostly because you contemplate everyday on what had gone wrong. Learn t0 accept both you and your ex's mistakes. Take it as a lesson in life and prepare for a better future ahead with your own relationship lessons noted!
Think about all the things about the other person that really bugged you. Their annoying habits or some way they acted. Then remember that you'll never have to deal with that again. Revel in your freedom. You are your own person! You don't have to be defined by another person, and you certainly don't have to make compromises for them anymore. Your single life starts here, and it will be beautiful.
Constantly remind yourself that you are important. They are ones losing out. Invest in some chocolate and fuzzy feety pajamas.
Talk about it. Write about it. Rant about it. Desensitise yourself to it. On other days, distract yourself from it. Drown it out with talking and parties. And when neither things work, cry about it. Let it out. And one day, it will be over.
Try doing things that make you happy and take your mind off the breakup. Listening to music always helps me.
Thinking in terms of balance can help. You want to give yourself time to feel whatever you are feeling, but you also want to remain engaged in life. You may find it helpful to journal/draw and talk to others online and in real life, as well as join or continue going to groups/clubs/classes/social events where you can be with others and engage in hobbies and passions of yours. Sometimes it can be hard to feel motivated to do things you used to love, but learning something new, or going through the motions of things you used to love, can help to distract and move on from the relationship. If things get really hard or you start considering risky/dangerous behaviors or suicide you should contact a mental health professional for more support.
I recommend in or out of an relationship, that you have activities that do not involve the person you are in a relationship with. So that you have things that you enjoy and can do that will not remind you of him. I have had guys agree to do try Zumba with me, but that is a thing for just me and my friends and helps me feel better and I do not want anyone to hinder that for me.
Feel as much as you need to feel and reminisce as much as you need to, but try your best to not abuse alcohol or drugs as that only leads to further complications. Talk to close friends who you now will understand you, talk to family if you are comfortable with that, and if it gets too unbearable don't be afraid to seek out a therapist or even a counsellor.
Focus on other things that make you happy. you focus on other things and your mind will slowly get over the breakup
Getting over someone requires time . Understand It cannot happen overnight. Analysis of your relationship is necessary to know when you were wrong and when the other person was.Thank the other person for the good times you had. Go out with friends, get a new hobby and pamper yourself
by stop thinking about the good moments you had together. Thinking about those moments will make you miss the person more.
Time heals most wounds or at least doesn't make them sting as much. It's hard, for sure. I found that, for me, looking for peace was the best way. Just distancing myself from the memories, like I was looking through a glass panel, helped. Try and remember them as good times and nothing else. No nostalgia, nothing else. It'll take time but you can certainly do it. Until you feel ready, distract yourself with friends and music, maybe a good cry in good company to let it all out. Best wishes :)
Learning to go different ways is difficult. Try to gain support from friends and family and not to be alone with your ideas.
Drink a lot of alcohol. Eat a lot of chocolate. Try to talk with someone close? No, any of those won't help, as much, as realising that relationships end up for some reason, and opening your eyes, leaving the past and becoming stronger with another experience in our lives.
Try and focus on why you broke up. Turn the negatives into positives and start focusing on yourself.
There are a lot of ways one can get over a break up and people have different perceptions on what [for them] is the best way. Break ups take time to heal and digest [more so when the break up was done in an unhealthy way]. But one way [which I find as one of the best ways] to get over a break up is through acceptance. Accepting the reality that you and your former partner have gone on separate ways. You would feel the hurt and the pain of the break up but it is always good to remember that there is a reason why you had to go on separate ways. Think about the learning you can get from it. "What have I learned throughout my relationship with my former partner that I could work on to be able not to have such experiences again?", "What have I learned that could help me understand more about myself and my preference when looking for a partner?" Those are just some of the questions you can reflect on. Please note that it would not be helpful to dwell too much on the hurt and the pain. Turning those hurtful and painful experience into lessons would not only help you understand more about your preference when looking for a partner but it also help you assess how you handle relationships. Apart from that, you may look for something else to do that can take your mind of the hurt and the pain of a break up. You'll know the best way for you once you have decided that you want to get over with the break up.
I would write all my feelings out on a paper and burn it. I'll keep the ashes where I'll always see. Every time I look at that place, it'll remind how silly I'm to be with him and remind me that I can be strong.
Accepting it and dealing with it. Rather than be in denial. Honestly, if this happened, it happened. Thats it. Its not the end of the mammoths!
in my opinion, you never get over a break up. when you love someone, you'll love them forever. you can have other relationships and you'll eventually get better.
Seek the comfort of loved ones, they will always be there to help. Take some time for yourself by doing something you love, like going to a spa, reading a book, or buying something you really like.
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