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How can I deal with someone that is acting like a 'diva'?

94 Answers
Last Updated: 03/12/2022 at 4:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
July 25th, 2018 2:39pm
Talk to them, or just ignore them. Don't make their problems yours or you'll feel bad about yourself
August 3rd, 2018 1:19am
That depends. If you don't like the person or the person is mean to you just try to be nice and stay away from that person and from drama. I'm sorry I can't give better advice
August 8th, 2018 5:28pm
If you think that she's not a "diva" just move on and go away. I mean, if you don't need this kind of person in your life just go away from her/him, if you need her just accept her/him.
August 12th, 2018 2:15am
Open up to them. Get close to them. Be strong and act cold too but be interesting. Be funny so that you can break that person's wall down.
September 1st, 2018 2:40pm
Well, i think the best what you can do is that you don't pay attention for this person. Of course it depends on who is she/he, because if that person is your friend/relative etc., it's a bit difficult for you to avoid him/her. If that's the situation, you should talk to that person to find out why she/he acting like that and how you two can solve this situation. I'm quite sure you will figure out something. Of course the 'diva' people are annoying, but behind this behave there's something. Maybe a family problem or something else. Talk, talk, talk. That's the best way to find out!
October 7th, 2018 7:09pm
We'll , to be honest I'll try my best to help the person because at the end of the day we know at some cases it may be as a facade they wear to not get hurt or used again . As they say you can't really judge a book as it's cover so even if I have to face criticism or it gets to a point where the other person is just stubborn or aggnorant he/she may only know it gets irritating but I'll try my best to be patient and show and guide the person away from darkness towards the light. At the end of the day I can't make everyone happy but I'll be glad that I atleast did try. For example there are some cases where people don't really need help but message you to see how things work or how you deal with a problem but it's not your fault . No matter what really the situation is I know I did my best and even if that one word or sentence changes the other person's life for the better is way more than enough for me because I know how it feels name it from being in an abusive family to bullying , axienty to anorexia I just want to help people so they don't make mistakes like me
October 10th, 2018 2:44pm
It might be helpful to realize that if someone is acting that way, they are probably doing it out of some intense form of suffering. If you can see their actions as their suffering, you might be able to deal with them in a way that they don't expect, and a way that makes it easier for you. Acting out is often a way to directly see why someone is doing something, and if you can connect it to insecurity or fear or anxiety within an individual, you can then address that insecurity or fear or anxiety with the individual directly, which often counteracts how they are acting. At the very least, it may help you to be more compassionate with how they are around you.
November 29th, 2018 6:38pm
Kill that person with kindness kindness always has a way of destroying your opponent you will see that person will don't know how react and it will have a vulnerable moment or you can give that person the silent treatment that can actualy work too to not waste your energy and time sometimes person who think they are a know it all won't actualy get tired of being argumentative so In my opinion is not really worth your time... those type of persons are very insecure inside and don't know how to deal with their insecuries so they like to feel themselfes special
February 10th, 2019 8:31am
Be patient and helpful. Take a deep breath. Answer promptly without reserve. Be kind. Follow the golden rule, which is to treat them as you would want to be treated. No judgements but complete politeness. Do not act like you know it all but just be a great listener. Listen to every emotion that they portray in their writing. No matter the person, no matter how they act, they should always be treated fairly, compassionately, and respectfully. It'll be difficult but you should never mention the person is acting like a diva, it will anger them and you will get into an argument.
April 4th, 2019 12:38pm
Maybe take a step back and evaluate if you need or want the drama in your life. Maybe talk to the person and express how they are making you feel and ask them why the are acting this way. Some people can put up a front and act a certain way when they are going through difficult times. It may be their way of dealing with it. Show you are there for them, support if possible. But self care is important. Look after yourself and others. You could suggest this site to help them and we may be a able to help
August 16th, 2019 10:08am
When confronted with a situation, I always like to ask the question, "Do I have to deal with this? Or would I be better off ignoring it?" I think this question might come in handy for you, my friend. There are plenty of people with attitudes that are not necessarily pleasant or that we agree with. However, we have the unique ability to choose who we associate with. Therefore, I would recommend that you simply steer clear of people whose energy and vibe you find off putting. I encourage you to find friends whose company you enjoy, and whose presence can refresh you :) Are sou forced to be in the company of this person? Simply stick to associating with them in a purely professional capacity - with respect and not much else :)
September 19th, 2019 9:21pm
Often times, many people act a certain way because they are ignorant to how they come off in others‘ perception. Often times those with high social standing let their privileges go to their head. They have tunnel vision. They only see themselves as part of the picture. When in fact we are all equal parts of our own creation. We compete for a spotlight that is already ours. Sometimes we are stuck alone for so long we don’t realize how we are behaving. Since we avoid or attack any conflict we prohibit ourselves from growing WITH each other. First step be honest with others, i know i also need a backbone.
December 18th, 2019 5:06am
You could try to confront them on their actions and how they are bothering you- that being said respectfully of course. By definition ( in this situation I'm guessing) a diva is a "self-important person who is temperamental and difficult to please."While these sorts of people can be extremely bothersome, it is best to try and be as patient and kind with them as possible. And as stated before, the best thing to do would be to confront them about them and how their behavior is making you feel. If they are a respectful individual they will hopefully take what you said to heart and try their best to become more self aware of their behavior and their impact on others. If said person responds negatively to what you say, it may be best to leave them some time to process and self reflect on themselves. You can't change people, only that they can do themselves. However, you can do your best to be upfront with what bothers you, and hopefully motivate them to change their behavior.
January 3rd, 2020 11:38am
This may depend on how close you are to this person. If you are a close friend of them it may be a good idea to talk to them about their habits and understand what they are feeling. However, if they are more of an acquaintance, there may be little you can do, if it is affecting your happiness the best way may be to cut them out of your life even though it may be harsh. It really depends on how close you are to them and how much this affects your mental health. Communication is often the best course of action but if that isn't possible sometimes it is better to let it go.
June 25th, 2020 9:20pm
It can be hard to handle or be around someone who acts like a diva. However, it is important to realize that they may be struggling with something in their personal life, and this is how they behave to cope. Just try not to let their attitude or behavior effect you in a personal way. On the other hand, do want to still treat them kindly, no matter how they treat you. And if their behavior does start to negatively affect you, it is okay to excuse yourself from the conversation. The important thing to take away from this is that you never know what someone is going through and how they cope, so try not to jump to conclusions or be harsh.
June 28th, 2020 1:27am
It really depends whether this "diva" is a close friend of yours or not, but if they're someone really close (enough to make an impact in your daily life) I would suggest to be very wary of everything that comes out of their mouth and filter the wrong from the right. Divas always have that holier-than-thou vibe which irks some people- and they always think they're right (no matter the action) and they always try to make everyone else follow them like their minions or followers or something. One weakness of divas though, is that they can't handle resistance. So when you become aware of what they're saying wrong versus the right, you have to learn to walk away or say no. They'll be surprised that not everyone "agrees" with their ways.
July 24th, 2020 1:12am
Take distance! 'Diva' people can be very draining to associate with, and even more so to try and change. If you have no choice but to be near them, i feel like the most appropriate solution to dealing with them, is to not seek direct confrontation, yet not either going along with everything they do. Maintain yourself as who you are, and if perhaps snapping on them might have negative repercussions on your life, take a breather, and wait until the day is over to maybe vent it all out somewhere. Seeking to understand and condone them is another effective way of dissipating your own frustration with them - all you have to know, is that 'diva's, as annoying as they are, are essentially not bad people, and might have severe issues of their own they have to deal with. Also, remember: you're not the only one who doesnt like this diva! So, relax, and I hope you will someday live a zen, diva-free life. xoxo
July 24th, 2020 5:25pm
Sometimes you come across people whose personalities can frustrate you; hence, in your case, the ‘diva’. With difficult character traits often comes arguments or a tense atmosphere. The best way to deal with someone whose personality frustrates you is to minimize contact with them. Obviously this can only work to an extent; what if the person is a colleague, family member, boss? Instead you can pick them up on a specific thing they say that really gets on your nerves: voicing your opinion can get the idea across without it amounting to an argument. If you look at it from the other perspective (e.g. you were the person acting like a diva), perhaps you didn’t realize that this was the way you came across and perhaps someone saying something along the lines of “oh my days you’re so annoying because x, y, z” could be really hurtful. All things considered, the best things to say are polite but informative.
August 17th, 2020 3:24am
Having to deal with someone acting like a diva is quite the struggle. For me personally, I find just stepping back and letting them have their moment is the best way to go. That way, you won't run the risk of them getting mad at you over something or being mean to them because you are annoyed. If they are constantly acting like a diva though, maybe they don't realize. You could try bringing it up with other friends who experience this person's actions and come up with a plan on how to talk to the diva about what is bothering you. If they do realize and that is just their personality, try to just engage in less conversation with them if it is really putting a tamper on your life.
August 22nd, 2020 9:26pm
If I think of myself in that situation, I think that the most important thing for me would be to figure out what does it mean for me that someone is acting like a 'diva'. Does it bother me? And why? What are divas like? What's it about them that I don't like? What makes me think about? What am I feeling? Do they remind me of someone I met in the past? Am I reacting to them or to the person of my past? Is there something about them that reminds me of myself? Of some part of myself that I don't like? Something that I tried so hard to change, that gave me so many problem, and then this person comes and just acts like a diva like it's no big deal. Why is it a big deal for me? That's what I would think about.
August 28th, 2020 3:47am
Let it roll off your back. If it's not hurting anyone, and you're not ready to deal with that attitude, go for a walk and let the diva be a diva without you around. If there is no escaping it, try meditating and deep breathing exercises to help calm your mind over this issue. This can be tiring so make sure to take your time away from the situation also. Your mental health should not be diminished due to this person being a diva. This can be really frustrating and annoying to deal with, but hopefully it's not a long term thing. I hope this helps.
September 11th, 2020 2:34am
There are so many different types of people in the world. If everyone were the same, it would get rather boring. When you come across a person that is, in this case, a ‘diva’, it is easy to brush them off or ignore them. I feel dealing with a diva personality may get a little annoying, but you are unable to change a person. At this point, you should ask yourself if this person is someone you would like to be around and associate yourself with. If your answer is yes, then you need to know that they will sometimes act in ways that you don’t agree with. However, knowing you are unable to change this person allows you to look past the diva and appreciate them for who they really are.
September 13th, 2020 2:22am
I understand what it’s like to deal with someone with big egos and snarky personalities, so I get it. Dealing with people with diva-like personalities is tough but sometimes you just have to be a bigger person. Have you told the other person how you feel about them? Would you like to tell me more about this diva of yours? How does this persons diva like behavior affect you? How does this person make you feel? Do you want to get to know this person better? Maybe they aren’t as bad as you think they are. I encourage you to do what is best for you.
October 16th, 2020 1:41am
You can deal with someone that’s acting like a ‘diva by sitting down with them and having a conversation with them understanding why they are acting the way that they are. You can start talking to them and understand their perspective and why they are acting in that manner. once you figure it out, try talking to them about the issues you have. Tell them how you it makes you feel when they act in that manner and how it makes you feel unsafe with them and how you would like to see them treat you in a more respectful manner.
February 27th, 2021 11:03am
I want to start off by saying, it is good you are seeking out help before confrontation. Not an easy person to deal with. If I am at work, I simply stay away from from them to avoid confrontation in a professional environment. People like this need attention to validate themselves. I would switch shifts. Another alternative is to get to know them. Some people seek attention because they are simply lonely or are going through some internal battle. To sympathized helps you walk in their shoes and can make them less annoying to you. Not an easy thing to do, but they might just share something with you that can set a lightbulb off in your head to understand their "diva-like-ways." No one ever wants to be friends with the diva, but to have a really open person sit with a person like this can help them realize they are not as "strong" as they are. We all need someone to understand our struggles. You don't even need to be friends, but it can teach you how to tolerate people better around you.
March 25th, 2021 9:04pm
if someone, such as your friend, is acting like a 'diva', the best thing to do would be to communicate to them that their behavior is not appreciated by you or anyone else. they must know that they should be more aware of how others feel and that although their feelings are valid, everything cannot be about them all the time. many times, people who act like divas may not even be aware that they are acting that way. moreover, it is important to communicate this to them in a kind and mature way, so that their feelings are not hurt.
May 29th, 2021 5:16am
You could try to figure out what makes them act towards other people the way they do. You should always approach them politely and in a controlled manner, it doesn’t help if you treat them like they treat you. You should try to have a calm conversation with them about the way they make you feel, as well as the way they make others feel. If they persist in making you feel inferior, if it is possible, it is better to distance yourself from people who make you feel this way. However if it is not possible, you should seek help from an authority figure who recognises that mutual respect is an environment necessary for learning/working/growth.
September 24th, 2021 3:33pm
I would appreciate that person. It can be their strength. Who knows? That can improve their lives. If it becomes unhealthy, perhaps I can make them realize such a thing. I will be the one to encourage them to use such a character to make their lives meaningful. That can be my greatest satisfaction. If such a thing becomes a distraction, I will be compassionate to help them. If I cannot handle it very well, perhaps I can encourage them to go to therapy. However, as long as it does not harm them, I will let them be what they want. It is always a joyous experience to make somebody happy.
October 22nd, 2021 4:21pm
If someone you know or care about is acting out as a 'diva' then maybe its time to take a stand and talk to them, politely obviously. Sometimes we need people around us to correct us whenever we are behaving in a problematic way. It's important for our friends and family to tell us what we're doing wrong in order to prevent us from making the same mistakes again. However, its also important that this is spoken about respectfully and without humiliating the person at hand. If the individual dismisses what you've said and continues to act out regardless of you efforts in trying to work things through then maybe its time to take a step back from the situation.
October 23rd, 2021 9:50am
What a great question! First, you should try and understand why this person is acting this way. Some people go through tough times and it causes them to act a certain way. Putting yourself in their shoes may help find some clarity. From personal experience, I would gently bring up the behavior in a conversation. Just asking if they are okay or if there’s anything they want to talk about can open up the floor for them to explain. You could also just simply tell them they are making you feel a certain way and if it’s possible to talk about it. Be transparent but also considerate about the other person’s feelings. Happy Healing!