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What do I say to people that ask about my scars without making them uncomfortable?

215 Answers
Last Updated: 10/28/2020 at 6:13pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

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Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
July 21st, 2016 6:23pm
Well, you don't have to say anything really, you can tell them you'd prefer not to talk about it. You have overcame an obstacle in your life, and you shouldn't worry about making them uncomfortable. If they question it in the first place, it's their fault that they get uncomfortable. You are a warrior, those are your battle scars; don't worry about what they will think.
July 23rd, 2016 11:36am
The main thing is for you to feel comfortable. If you feel as though you would like to tell someone close to you about the scars ,if they've asked, then by all means do it. And with regard to making them comfortable before you talk to them about it it might be worth just telling them it might be sensitive and asking if they are alright with it. The same goes for telling anyone else as well I suppose. Just make sure you are comfortable with telling them, you don't need to tell them about it if you don't feel like doing so, you can politely ask them to drop the subject as you do not feel comfortable. And if you do, just ask them if they are alright with talking about certain topics whatever they may be.
July 28th, 2016 4:52am
It's not always a good idea to be totally open about why you have scars, but if people are genuinely curious and you're comfortable talking about it then it's fine to say why you have them. Another good response is to just tell them that you're not comfortable talking about why you have scars and leaving it at that.
July 29th, 2016 9:54am
I don't think it's 'what' you say as much as it is 'how' you say it. I think people tend to feel uncomfortable when they know that we are uncomfortable talking about it. If you truly are uncomfortable, then just let them know that it's a topic you don't really like to discuss, and I'm sure they'll respect you enough to breeze past it. But from your question, it sounds like you don't actually mind sharing about your scars, so perhaps look inward for starters - meaning, ask yourself it it's really something you have accepted, and are moving on from. It is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, so you don't have to insinuate those things by your tone. You can just state your past as a matter of fact - which it is - and help them understand what stage of progression you are at now.
July 29th, 2016 11:46am
you can give them the true answer or you can say that it was due to some troubles of the past and these are my victory marks that show I made it. Or you can make up a constant excuse and stick with it.
August 1st, 2016 2:25pm
I was in a bad place once but I got the help I needed and figured there is more to life I'm glad I got the courage to ask for help
August 3rd, 2016 3:14am
I would say that I was going through a hard time in my life and it was personal. I feel like they would understand.
August 3rd, 2016 4:20am
Explain to them that you've been through a rough time in your life. You don't have to go through the details if you don't want to. I'm sure they'll understand.
August 5th, 2016 8:07pm
You should say that they are your mistakes and that you learnt such great lessons from that experience
August 7th, 2016 11:44pm
In my opinion, you don't need to answer if you don't want to. Any answer is perfectly fine, wether you come up with an excuse by yourself or tell the truth. People should not be uncomfortable with anyone's struggles. They should be proud of them to be here today.
August 12th, 2016 12:14pm
Tell them, only if you are comfortable, that you were going through a bad time but now you're healing. If you feel that you aren't progressing tell them that you have trouble expressing your emotions and that you're trying and would love some help.
August 14th, 2016 9:07am
You tell them you scars are a sign that you have gone through life and tried and failed and that your not perfect but your human and your beautiful the way you are
August 14th, 2016 9:04pm
Tell them that people deal with stress in different ways and that you decided to go down a more negative route that other people; it's like smoking because you cut as a release for something that has hurt you or that's bothering you and smokers smoke for the same reasons.
August 14th, 2016 10:24pm
if you want to tell the truth, tell them you used to hurt yourself but found a better way to deal with the pain.
August 19th, 2016 8:26pm
Worry first about yourself. Make sure that whatever you say is within your comfort zone, then worry about theirs. If you aren't uncomfortable at all, or have found something you are comfortable saying, then move on to them. The truth is always a worthy approach.
August 20th, 2016 3:43am
Just be honest with people, they brought it apon themselves to ask you about them therefore you should be real, if it makes them uncomfortable next t ime they will remember not to ask questions to things they shouldn't be asking..
August 21st, 2016 4:25am
Just explain that you had a rough time in life. That you overcame the challenges which you were facing.
August 21st, 2016 10:18pm
Everyone has something to get them through the day. It can work with any addiction to 'harmful' things
September 3rd, 2016 12:45pm
I usually say they're from "harder times", but that's only because i don't have any new ones. Generally, if you seem comfortable with them, people will be less likely to uncomfortable.
September 8th, 2016 9:56pm
It's best to be honest, if they're uncomfortable about discussing self-harm, then that means we need to work more to make it okay to talk about. Getting uncomfortable is the start of that. Tell them it's from a battle. They're from a hard time. You used to struggle. If you want to make things lighter, focus on the fact that they're scars, not new wounds. That you're much better than you were then.
September 10th, 2016 7:18pm
It's your decision to tell them and what you want to tell them. You can just say the truth or you can tell them you're not willing to talk about them.
September 15th, 2016 9:17pm
I've told them that they are beautiful reminders of the past that has made me a better and stonger today
September 18th, 2016 3:13am
I have had troubles in the past. But I want you to know that you can change. Overcoming our issues are difficult however if we look at the accomplishments we can see they are greater.
September 22nd, 2016 2:28am
First, try to work on caring less about people being uncomfortable about your scars. Love yourself by caring about other people's judgments less. You deserve to walk around without worrying about being judged for your scars.
September 22nd, 2016 2:09pm
Just tell them that you were going through a rough time. If they care about you, then they'll understand, and may want to help you.
September 22nd, 2016 5:51pm
I say it's the way that I used to cope (or still do cope) with difficult or uncontrollable situations that I have been through and when I am in a really bad place. I know that people don't understand but just remember that I would never hurt another person and I am getting help and getting better so don't worry.
September 26th, 2016 8:07pm
If you are comfortable with your scars then you tell them straight up with a smile on your face what they are. I would say, "these scars are a representation of my past bad memories, and they help me not to turn back"
September 26th, 2016 8:22pm
You could try to talk in a comfortable manner. This means that you can just start like " Oh this,I got this ......" It also depends on your body language, try to smile in a casual way and speak in a casual tone.
September 27th, 2016 2:11am
tell them what happened, but at the end tell them that if they have questions, then asking them is acceptable.
October 1st, 2016 12:48am
I often thank people for showing concern, and let them know that my scars are old wounds that have long since healed; this both recognises and acknowledges their worries while reaffirming that you're in a safe and healthy place.