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Why does my girlfriend cut herself?

301 Answers
Last Updated: 10/09/2019 at 2:27am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Zeina Ghoul, LLPC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I help guide clients to create positive change in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 15th, 2016 3:39pm
She is probably suffering some form of depression and feel that she is unworthy or insecure about herself.
RogerDan555
June 17th, 2016 6:33am
Maybe she's going through some trauma which drives her towards self harm. Try and talk to her regarding the same. Understand what she's going through. Consult a therapist, if necessary.
Pineapples456899
June 17th, 2016 10:17pm
There are numerous reasons as to why your girlfriend might cut herself. From my personal experience I cut myself because I felt self conscious, depressed, stressed, that everyone else hates me, that nobody loves me or likes me for who I am so I couldn't handle all of these emotions at once so I cut myself. Self-harm was a leeway for this and just for that moment I could forget about everything, it was like a smoker's cigarette for me. It'll kill you if you keep doing it, but it's a form of escape and can be seen as therapy. This may not be exactly why your girlfriend cuts herself but it might help give an insight as to why some people in general self harm.
carefreeTree45
June 22nd, 2016 12:27pm
Because maybe she is feeling lovely or guilty for something. Maybe she have bad memories from her past
cl0ver
June 29th, 2016 4:43pm
People turn to self harm for many different reasons - it could be that she has emotions she doesn't know how to express and this can become overwhelming. Sometimes people self harm because it is the only way they know how to manage their emotions, other people cut themselves as a form of punishment or because they feel guilty. It is very important to understand that there are many reasons why someone may turn to self harming.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2016 9:00am
That can be a very confusing situation. While I can't tell you why, exactly, she does it, as there are several reasons, I can name a few reasons I've heard as both a friend and a listener. Punishment -- someone feels that they have done something wrong and need to be physically hurt as a punishment, whether the reason is real or not Feeling -- some people feel "numb" emotionally and want to feel something, anything, so they inflict physical pain on themselves to satisfy that Control -- while the harming itself may be out of control, how it's done is in her control. The way she turns the blade, the way she uses whatever tool she uses -- she controls that. In some cases, to prevent / attempt suicide -- to prevent it because it's "a taste" of what it would be like to end their life, sometimes it's an attempt that starts out small and eventually is a game of whether or not she'll wake up. That's why it's such a serious issue that needs to be addressed by a professional. I hope this helped explain things to you; best of luck to both of you
Anonymous
July 6th, 2016 6:46am
She might have depression. She might do the ultimate move - suicide, or killing herself. You should contact suicide.org and report your friend's cutting. Get her family and friends in on it - be kind to your girlfriend, and get her a therapist. Calmly tell her how you feel about this, and try to stop her from cutting herself anymore. With professionals and adults to help, you could stay as a boyfriend instead of a widow.
menthol
July 8th, 2016 7:45am
There's a lot of reasons why someone wants to hurt themselves. I used to do it because I wanted to punish myself, and felt like I would do better now I had punished myself for whatever reason. Sometimes, the pain is addictive and it gives you a little high, releases endorphins and frustration... it's complicated and different for everyone.
ladycat946
July 8th, 2016 1:10pm
Sometimes people cut themselves because they are suffering, and it's another way to cope with that. It may not be the right way, but take it more as a warning and a sign of distress from this person. Don't stop on the act itself. She needs help and it's another way her body and mind tell it.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 4:02pm
Your girlfriend may cut herself to deal with emotional pain she can't handle. Cutting releases endorphins which may make her feel better if she is going through distress.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 10:15pm
She is not happy. Take her on a date, really you will make her happy, life is great. Trust me you will be okay!
tatterhood
July 9th, 2016 10:23pm
I don't know your girlfriend, but if I (as a fellow former cutter) had to guess I'd say she wasn't doing it to inflict pain on herself, but to relieve it. Also, it's an empowerment thing (I know that sounds weird). When you're in a great deal of pain, just having control over that pain can really help.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 4:29pm
Self harm historically was often seen by some medical professionals as attention seeking or a failed suicide attempt. Hopefully over time this attitude has diminished as greater understanding of self harm has grown in more recent years. We all self harm whether we realise it or not, not getting enough sleep, wearing shoes that pinch our feet, smoking, drinking excessively, neglecting meals due to work, wearing clothes that are too tight, not seeing a doctor when we know we need to. These kind of examples are deemed if you like, the more socially acceptable forms of self harm. individuals who self harm secretly or tell no one often resort to burning, cutting, head banging, pulling out of hair, scalding, internal self harm etc. The reasons why people self harm are as varied as the individuals who resort to self harming as a way of coping. Self harm can be seen as a physical expression of internal emotional pain. For some self harm helps to relieve feelings that have become unbearable and provides them with a sense of relief. For others, they may self harm because they feel the need to punish themselves, perhaps due to trauma and abuse where they blame themselves, or perhaps with a teen who never feels good enough and falls out with their parent. Self harm often allows an individual to feel numb, to create space from all that is going on for them. It is important regardless of why someone may self harm, that their injuries are attended to and that they are treated compassionately, with respect and concern/care. Anything other than this may cause the vicious cycle of self harm to keep going. For help on self harm please see your national resources to see what help can be provided.
lonestar87
July 11th, 2016 7:35pm
She may be dealing with some difficult issues and finds this a way of taking the emotional pain away by physically hurting herself and inflicting the pain elsewhere. Talk to her and let her know you are there for her. It may be a good idea to suggest counselling so she can talk about what is hurting her
Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 12:02am
she could me sad or something she may have depression that's some idea i don,t really know your GF so you may want to go to the doctors
EffyFenwick
July 14th, 2016 12:29am
There are different reasons for a person to turn to self-harm, so unfortunately no one can give you the answer to that exept your girlfriend. Maybe try to talk to her about it and let her know you are there for her and you will help her through it.
EveryInkspots
July 14th, 2016 5:57pm
There might be some underlying things she is suffering, it is a release for her to feel something, depression, anxiety, anger, are many different reasons why she may do it. Home life could be stressful, school, peers. You can always tell her that you are there to listen to her talk about what is bothering her throughout the day.
paperCrane15
July 15th, 2016 12:14am
There are many reasons. Medically, cutting weakens not only physical, but psychic pain too. This happens due to endorphins which work as natural painkiller. They also provide euphoria. She can cut herself in order to get rid of some emotions which overwhelm her,
dancingCloud41
July 16th, 2016 11:45am
Sometimes people use cutting/self harming as a way to cope with emotions and situations they cannot control
soothingUnicorns68
July 16th, 2016 11:59am
lots of people self harm for many different reasons if you'd really like to find out one day ask her to talk and say youre worried about her and ask if SHE'D like to talk, never make her feel uncomfortable. If she doesnt want to talk dont force her to. another thing you could do is refer her to a suicide hotline or 7 cups of tea so she can talk to someone who will understand her and wont judge her at all
Anonymous
July 17th, 2016 8:39pm
It could be because of a variety of reasons. She may feel overwhelmed, out of control, she may not feel much at all. Self harm is used as a coping mechanism, and, unfortunately, it works. You can't do much to help her, and you can't stop her, but you can tell her that you're there for her, and that you will help her through it. Stay strong, I wish you all the best for the future, and i hope you're girlfriend is okay
LovableGeek16
July 20th, 2016 10:02am
She is going.through some problems of her own and that's how he found comfort when she was at her lowest. Just hold her and help her through it, she needs you. Don't judge her, but still try to help her.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2016 6:54pm
She maybe does that because she feels insecure about herself and doesn't want to annoy people she loves by talking to them. You should show her you care and that she can tell you anything she wants/needs but if she doesn't know you know about her cutting be careful and watch your words ;)
SaturatedSunrise13
July 22nd, 2016 12:15am
Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear or bad situations they think can't change. Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad feelings.
Brittneym101
July 23rd, 2016 5:49am
People cut themselves for different reason. It varies from person to person. The only way you're going to find out why exactly your girlfriend cuts herself is if you ask her directly and if she is willing to give you an answer to that question. Good Luck!!
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 11:18pm
Your girlfriend may cut herself because she doesn't value the body she is in She may not have figured out the correct way to deal with her emotions or she may be depressed. Either way , you should support her on the journey to find a trusted medical professional to assist her.
charlieparlie
July 28th, 2016 12:43am
She's feeling depressed, don't panic, it may not be to do with you, but as her boyfriend you should talk to her about it and see if in anyway you can help her
SquishyRaspberries
July 28th, 2016 4:33am
There are a number of reasons why a person might cut herself. Many people self-harm because they are feeling a great emotional pain. For some, physical pain helps to numb this emotional pain or distract from it. Others harm themselves to leave a physical reminder of the emotional pain. Sometimes people feel emotionally "numb" and harm themselves in order to feel something, even if it is physical pain. There are also many people who self-harm for reasons not connected to emotional pain. Some enjoy the pain or the way cuts look, while others might do it to feel control over their bodies. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of people who cut themselves for attention. There are many reasons other than that, but those are some of the main ones. It's difficult to understand why someone might want to physically harm themselves, and it's important for you to talk to your girlfriend about what she is feeling and if she needs to seek professional help.
Betka
July 28th, 2016 2:15pm
She might be trying to express her feelings or deal with her distress. Talk to her and give her all the support she needs. Offer to také her to a therapist or recommend some online.
Gracey
- Expert in Self-Harm
July 28th, 2016 2:47pm
There are many different reasons that people self harm. One of the most common reasons people self-harm is as a way to deal with difficult emotions and feelings that they are unable to express in any other way. Other reasons people self harm include - to feel something when they are feeling emotionally numb, to transfer their emotional pain to physical pain which is often easier to deal with or to help them to feel in control of something.