How do I talk to my boyfriend about our relationship?

86 Answers
Last Updated: 11/20/2017 at 1:29am
How do I talk to my boyfriend about our relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology

Counselor

I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 12:35am
first ask yourself where you think you are with your boyfriend. And then ask your boyfriend the same!
Truckerwife08
January 21st, 2016 1:00am
Sometimes you just have to just tell him hey we need to talk about some things. It may be serious it may be light hearted but justwhen you feel something needs to be communicated let him know. Even tho it may be hard
AlwaysEssic
January 30th, 2016 4:05am
Be truthful, telling lies and beating around the bush will only end up hurting you. If something is bothering you, or you see. Problem, confront him about it. If he doesn't like the truth or is not willing to accommodate your lifestyle why date him. That kind of relationship would be toxic
Carleen00
January 29th, 2016 4:39pm
Be honest. Be open. And most importantly, talk to your significant other not at them; and truly listen.
StressedTamilian
February 3rd, 2016 7:22pm
Let him know in advance that you want to discuss the nature of your relationship with him. If he is one to be overwhelmed by emotions, send out an e-mail. But, prior notice is less likely to elicit emotionally reactive responses which can evoke the same out of you too in response. An e-mail gives him the space and the time to reflect on the content of what you want to talk about with your boyfriend.
onedirection1213
February 25th, 2016 12:21pm
DON’T jump to conclusions, DO just ask, STOP taking everything so personally, GIVE your sweetie a chance to explain, and DO trust your intuition.
Vixiana
March 17th, 2016 10:39pm
Communication is a very important part of a relationship and it's best to talk openly and honestly about how you feel or what you think or what you want/need.
Anonymous
February 6th, 2016 3:24am
i would talk calmly and discuss to him, and try to not confront him . as there is no "me" or "you" in relationship. there is "we" and "us". when you have a problem with your relationship, try to deal the problem and find the solution rather than picking who is to be blame
Arakhthanda
February 10th, 2016 5:38pm
First, I would ask the question, to yourself, about what do you want out of the relationship and second, how do you want your partner or boyfriend to know about you in a relationship as a person. It is through relating as individuals that makes your significant other understand what you desire and respond to your need.
SoulfulSam
November 20th, 2017 1:29am
The best way to talk to him is to first organize and sort out your problems and concerns. Then, you calmly sit your boyfriend down and have a calm discussion to try to sort out your problems. Remember, never blame anyone for anything, relationships take two people to work and no one is perfect.
Tiffany43
March 2nd, 2016 4:51pm
Everyone has their own specific ways of dealing with significant issues which arise in life. One particular personal conflict which may periodically arise, is a need to discuss with a partner, the relationship itself. The intent of “the talk” can be for a variety of reasons. Two examples, for instance, are that one may merely want to assess their partner’s thoughts and feelings, or conversely, one may desire to end the relationship altogether. Regardless of one's motivations for confronting their partner with a need to have a talk, it is best, in my opinion, to be prepared beforehand---before asking and before commencing with the discussion. I personally grab pen and paper. I determine, truthfully, what my intentions inevitably entail---what do I want to see happen as a result of this talk? I determine if my expectations and means of arriving at said, are reasonable, both from my standpoint as well as his. I then visualize how my concerns and respective potential solutions will affect my partner. Will he react appropriately? This determines how I will share my thoughts---will I write a letter, or interact directly? I consider my safety, and I determine the most effective route in order to achieve successful results. I proceed to write letter, or I request we have a talk. Regardless, I am focused. I have mental preparedness.
glisteningLynx61
March 9th, 2016 4:52am
Hello! Just want you to know that you should feel comfortable about telling your partner everything :) sometimes you don't feel that way and that's okay! They must be understanding and sentimental to what ever you have to say . You should be able to have an open ended discussion with your partner and trust that it's not always going to be easy but you'll get through it with them and it'll really show them you care ! Guys don't get hints , I'm female but I've learned that you just have to straight up let them know ! Hope I could help :)
Bettershapes
April 22nd, 2016 6:02pm
You should be able to talk to your boyfriend about anything. Your boyfriend is supposed to be your bestfriend, and the main component to any relationship is communication and trust.
Sunshine2016
January 17th, 2016 5:46pm
It should be easy, if you have to struggle to have a conversation with him then maybe it is not the right relationship for you.
Anonymous
February 13th, 2016 7:31am
If its scary to talk face to face about deep emotions, you could write a list of things you feel like you should talk about and then text him.
awhisperofreassurance
February 24th, 2016 7:46pm
In my experience, the best way to confront anyone about something is simply to be honest, and communicate openly. If it helps to write out your thoughts first to organize them, I highly advise it.
dalya123
January 21st, 2016 12:39pm
Just have a private conversation with him and make sure you don't fight so it doesn't get worse, so just relax and start talking
PurpleGems042
February 19th, 2016 9:43pm
Whenever my fiancee and I get into a disagreement. I always make sure to resolve the issue before we go to bed. I believe it is important to sit alone and write down all of my concerns, how I would like to remedy the concern, and then what things we can do in the future to avoid it happening again. Communication is KEY. I cannot stress that enough. And Knowing how to communicate is even more important. I ALWAYS try to approach my partner after we have both had time to cool down and avoid raising my voice. Even if he starts to raise his. By keeping a low tone I know I am not going to aggravate the situation.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 10:13am
just be totally open and honest and up front about everything on your mind hopefully he will respond with same things as well
thatbethgirl
February 5th, 2016 5:43pm
Being open and honest is the best way to have a healthy relationship with your significant other. It's best to just be up front about things. Dropping hints can often go unnoticed and leave you frustrated. When you are open about your relationship and have good communication with your partner you can have a very fulfilling relationship for both of you.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2016 9:29pm
You should make sure you two are alone and then tell him you need to talk. You should sit him down and have a heart to heart talk. Make sure the situation is comfortable and not awkward.
forestmist
May 1st, 2016 2:02am
The best way to do go about talking about relationships is just to bring it up. Pick a time when it is you two alone and he is in a 'decent' or good mood.
incredibleWillow44
January 16th, 2016 4:42pm
Ok well .. If he doesn't want to talk about it maybe do it over a dinner outing or coffee, but if you want to bring it up than try asking him how he feeling or if he sees it as a serious relationship
BlaireMack198
January 23rd, 2016 11:17pm
Some guys honestly don't like talking about relationships but sometimes it needs to be discussed. I would be honest with him and say, "Look we really need to talk about ____" Maybe that would be a good place to start?
Beezey
February 20th, 2016 12:54pm
Wait until you are both in a relaxed safe environment. Use words that express how your feel without blame or expectation on him. For eg. "I am worried that I am ............" or "I am not sure how I feel about our relationship". Take ownership of your part in the conversation and hopefully he will not feel pressured but able to express how he feels too.
caringReeds28
March 17th, 2016 10:43am
Be straightforward about it. Go to a quiet private place. Turn off your phones or any other distractions. Let him know how much he matters to you. Maintain a very calm and gentle tone and posture. Try not to get overly emotional and tell him exactly what is bothering you and how you think it cannot be fixed. Keep reminding him that he is important to you
piercethejessie
March 24th, 2016 12:35am
Well I personally sit down in a quiet place with my girlfriend to talk to her about our relationship.
itsokbaby
February 14th, 2016 12:11pm
Go to boyfriend, and remember that as he is first your friend then your boyfriend, talk to him about the stuff you want to talk openly. Elaborate your feelings as much as you can, assure him that this is what you feel with compassion and love.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 3:14pm
Be opened and honest with him. A relationship is a two way street and you need to express how you feel so that the other person knows where they stand and how they can fix it, help and understand what you may have been trying to say the whole time. You also need to be ok with hearing him out and understand his point of view also.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 11:02pm
Easy! Take it easy, take it softly, and definitely affect the "I feel" statements. They sound funny, but really help to communicate what YOU need, and how TOGETHER you'll work it out.