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How do I know I should break up with my boyfriend or girlfriend?

170 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2020 at 8:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
February 25th, 2016 5:46am
Is he or she abusing/ using you in any way? This is a large red flag if so. Anybody using anybody else isn't acceptable, really. If you are subjecting yourself to this, don't. There are many others who will see you as more than just a slave.
February 25th, 2016 6:19pm
If you are unhappy being with them, if you have tried to work things out between you, main thing is to talk to one another and see how you both are feeling, if you have worked and things arnt working I would say it would be time to break up
February 26th, 2016 10:25am
If you're not feeling the right passion, if you're chronically unhappy and the relationship is full of unresolved conflict or if there is evidence of abusive behaviour then that's definitely the way to go. There are many ways to break up with a person in order to remain peaceful.
February 26th, 2016 9:57pm
If you don't feel comfortable in the relationship or with the person anymore it is probably a sign of growing apart :)
February 27th, 2016 11:08pm
When both of your feelings have changed for one another. a relationship is always a 50/50. If you feel that one of you is drifting apart, talk it out let them know. Lack of communication can destroy a relationship.
February 28th, 2016 5:18am
When you no longer feel you love them they way you used to or when things just don't feel to be in the right place. If you have talked to them about how you feel and nothing has changed then it is time to move on.
March 1st, 2016 1:27pm
The time you start questioning your relationship is when you should start thinking of breaking up. You should write down the reasons why you should stay and the reason why you should leave. If the reasons why you should leave are more then you know what you have to do.
March 2nd, 2016 5:09pm
This is entirely based on you. I can't give all the answers, but go off how you feel. If you can find more reasons to not be in that relationship than in it, that is a good sign to break it off
March 3rd, 2016 12:33am
I think you may kind of know deep down inside what you are feeling. What makes you doubtful? What is the problems that are worrying you? Have you tried talking it out with your boyfriend and girlfriend and have an honest discussion about where you think you are at? Sometimes a good understanding of where each other is at can help us look forward. Hope you can find your path!
March 3rd, 2016 3:45am
Do they make you happy? Do you like to be around them? Do they show that they care about you? Ask some of these questions and similar ones. Make sure you are feeling loved and cared for in the relationship.
March 3rd, 2016 7:44pm
If you are unhappy. If you don't talk anymore or laugh. If you argue more than you don't. If you find yourself wanting someone else.
March 4th, 2016 9:08am
if you have been more sad than happy in the relationship, then you should evaluate your relationship. it is always better to talk to your partner and communicate with them the issues which are bothering you and above all let them know that you are considering the possibility of a separation, so that it doesnt come as a shock to them when you do break up..
March 4th, 2016 9:25pm
When the memories you had with them start to feel better than actually being with them.
March 5th, 2016 3:27am
The moment you feel like the relationship is not working anymore. When you feel distant and everything's just off. Or when you feel their treatment isn't something you like, it may be time to consider a separation.
March 5th, 2016 4:37am
When you are no longer interested in his/her life, and when you tend to realize that you are falling out of love with him/her, its really time to break up because holding onto a person whom you don't like anymore is not good for both of you.
March 5th, 2016 9:59am
If being in a relationship seems like a task or is painful, its time to get out. While love does require work, it should be mutually beneficial and enjoyable to all involved. If you feel you are making all the sacrifices or if you feel your partner is not treating you with the respect/love you deserve, then you need to really reevaluate the relationship. Remember, you are the one who decides how you should be treated and you should never have to compromise your own happiness or wellbeing.
March 5th, 2016 5:53pm
If you do not have feelings for your significant other anymore or feel like you don't want to be around them then that should be a sign that you should break up with your other half
March 6th, 2016 1:08am
In my personal experience, I always knew when to break up with my partner when these things happened: A) Boredom towards the other person much too early into the relationship B) Their intentions became obviously negative and opposite of mine C) Their happiness started to always be put before mine D) I once caught my long-term lover in an affair, and found that it had been prolonged with three other women (that we know of) our whole three-year relationship. I played it off, and then I ended up breaking his heart Point is.. I guess whenever I knew it was truly not worth my time, the relationship, or when I was in too much pain to go forward in the relationship, I got out quick.
March 6th, 2016 11:11am
If you feel like it's not working out or if there are too many fights..I suggest you to break up with them
March 6th, 2016 10:55pm
if you feel nothing, if you are with them for superficial reasons such as sex, things they buy for you, the way they look. if they abuse you. Never let someone take advantage of you and for the sake of both of your feelings, never take advantage of someone else either.
March 9th, 2016 4:45am
If you don't feel safe, supported, or comfortable with your significant other than it is probably for the best you should break up with them.
March 9th, 2016 8:31am
If the relationship is in any way abusive, be it physical, emotional or verbal. A relationship should not continue if there is no mutual trust and respect.
March 9th, 2016 10:51pm
If you don't feel anything for them or if they are hurting you, then you should definitely break up with them.
March 10th, 2016 1:17am
You should invite them to a lunch date and start talking and tell them you both need to move on from eachohter
March 10th, 2016 2:15am
You know it when you stop feeling the same way you did before when you two had just started. You just know it.
March 10th, 2016 2:28am
When you no longer feel comfortable to tell them openly about the relationship, it can get pretty hard without thorough communication . I would suggest that even if you don't always feel that passion you had when you first got together , it died t necessarily mean to break up; but if you feel that things just won't work out and that nothing is benefiting you in the relationship, it's time to move on and open the discussion of the break up
March 11th, 2016 5:37pm
when the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go then its time to let go. Be brave and also do whats best for YOU!
March 16th, 2016 7:36pm
if they ever make you feel like you aren't respected or valued,if they ever make you feel like you aren't respected or valued
March 16th, 2016 10:24pm
You should do it face to face. And trying not to start a fight cause of it. Maybe it could be also good to talk about what to do next and what kinda relationship do you want to have with eachother in the future
March 18th, 2016 8:32am
For me its like I just know in my core, even if I don't want to admit it. I think that's a kind of knowing that western society or even modern society doesn't trust, but its super important if you ask me in relationships. Also you can watch your intentions around that person -- if they're mostly pure, that's a good sign. But if they're sinister, or manipulative, that would be a red flag to me.