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How to stop hating yourself after cheating?

205 Answers
Last Updated: 09/12/2020 at 5:04am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Sarah Archer, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

As a Licensed MFT I work with clients to more effectively address, process and learn skills to manage the problems that prevent them from living the life they want.

Top Rated Answers
contentedWhisper25
December 14th, 2017 5:52pm
It can be very difficult to forgive yourself for cheating, but there may have been a good reason for it at the time you did. Maybe you just wanted to feel love or validation.
ConsolingPenguin
December 14th, 2017 11:48pm
It's hard to accept that you made this mistake, and some people may even make you feel like you deserve every negative thought you're giving yourself. You're only human. Learn from your mistake, take in what it does, and forgive yourself. To forgive yourself is to let go.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 8:42am
I would like to suggest a couple of things that could help: 1. The first is that you aren't defined by a particular event in your life. So you shouldn't hate yourself for it. Even the best of us make mistakes. You could promise yourself to not make such a mistake again. 2. Another thing that could be acceptance. By accepting that you did it you may be able to forgive yourself for it. 3. Try detachment. Think about yourself from a 3rd person's perspective. What advice would you give to someone who was feeling the same way. I would like to say that hating yourself for cheating won't erase it from occurring. The best thing is to move on and forgive yourself.
Anonymous
April 20th, 2018 8:15pm
I remember that this feeling is the most useless and I remember that I took my lesson and I will be better in the future and I will not do something similar again.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:21am
that's something that can stick with you..but you can overcome this. you may be a love addict, which causes people to do these things. if you suspect you are, attempt to get help by a professional. in the meantime, try and correct your ways.
unassumingPear5362
July 2nd, 2018 3:34am
Acknowledge what you did wrong, and that everyone makes mistakes. Commit to seeking help to address the issues that led to cheating. Change what you don’t like about yourself. Be true to who you are and change what you don’t like about yourself.
robert0991
February 22nd, 2019 1:49pm
Learn to realise that what you have done cannot be changed. There is one of two things you can do, either admit to your partner what you have done and face up to what is going to come from that or... don't tell your partner ansd focus on making the most out of your relationshop now. It's not always about telling the truth because you can then ruin two lives. If you are no longer in love with your partner and are staying with them simply because you feel sorry for them then don't. Leave them, don't continue because one day it will all come to a head and it won't be a nice site.
ListenerKatia
April 9th, 2020 7:58pm
Learn from your mistakes, learn to know yourself. Usually behind an error there was another error. Don't take all the blame. Just make sure it never happens again. I know what cheating means, I know how bad you are, I know how much you lose the importance of yourself, as if I don't know you anymore. But I want you to know that if you are worrying, if you feel guilty, you are not a bad person, quite the contrary. Don't punish yourself, don't blame yourself for everything. If you are worried you are not a bad person, you have only made a mistake and everyone can commit them. This is because we are humans and humans are wrong. But being human we have the rationality to understand our mistakes and become the best version of ourselves. Everything will improve, work on yourself.
notnovember12
March 26th, 2016 9:40pm
Stay positive, keep an open mind, it wasn't your fault, you are great. Note one thing you like about yourself every day.
carlier231
March 27th, 2016 12:09am
You need to accept that you made a mistake, and try not to make the same mistake again. You're not a bad person because of it :)
dancingPillow85
March 31st, 2016 11:19pm
Deal with it, admit it and move on. Hating yourself won't help or change things anyway, just make sure you never do this again.
Viana
April 10th, 2016 12:09pm
It is always good to start off with apologizing to the people you hurt and finding closure first. Like every mistake, it is okay to forgive yourself and move on or learn from the experience. It has happened, that doesn't mean you should hold it against yourself for the rest of your life. You just have to take each day at a time and work towards moulding yourself into a better you.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2016 2:45am
You need to accept what you have done, You made a bad mistake, But we all make mistakes and the only person who can make you stop hating yourself for that mistake is yourself, You need to make yourself understand that "Yes I made a huge mistake...and I won't do it again" But mean it this time. You have to forgive yourself first before you can stop hating or blaming yourself for what had happened.
Sunshade
April 24th, 2016 5:23pm
Know that you made a mistake ... know that you are human ... humans make mistakes ... learn from your mistakes ... promise to never repeat that mistake .
Lovelyymee
April 29th, 2016 1:14am
Accept that no one is perfect a d that you made a mistake . Everyone makes mistake and its not worth tearing yourself down.
heavenlySong29
April 29th, 2016 3:08pm
Move on and forgive your self if you want to stop hating your self start over and love your self learn from your mistake
Sassy001
May 6th, 2016 2:28pm
You have to forgive yourself to stop hating yourself.Learn from it so you can be a better partner and have a better,stronger relationship.
Angi3
May 7th, 2016 6:16am
After cheating, try thinking of them reasons you did it. First you have to accept yourself, then you can forgive yourself.
blitheGrace36
May 15th, 2016 3:13pm
First, you must be honest with your partner even if you think s/he will be hating you explain your feeling to her/him and be strong, nothing can be between two person relay love another.
NymphadoraTonks22
May 19th, 2016 2:13pm
Answer is simple: dig deep into your soul and try to find the reason why did you cheat in the first place. Are you insecure? Jealouse? When you found the reason why did you cheat your love one, you will feel a little bit better. Or simply dont cheat
likewolves
May 22nd, 2016 6:47am
there is no way to change the past. what's done is done. all you can do is learn from it. learn to forgive yourself. we are all human and we all make mistakes. terrible mistakes more times than not. but we practice progress and we learn to move on.
Sketcher24
May 27th, 2016 9:00pm
You need to validate yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, if you want to be forgiven, you first need to apologize to and forgive your self
Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 10:37pm
You need to learn to forgive yourself. You made a mistake but you need to remember just because it was a bad decision doesn't make you a bad person. Accept what happened and forgive yourself.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2016 11:30pm
just forget the past and move on, and also focus on the future. And say what is done I'd done and I can't change the past.
ratboi
June 5th, 2016 4:58am
know that even though what you did was wrong, you're not a bad person. understanding that what you did was wrong can help. as long as you understand what you did was wrong and why what you did was wrong, you're a perfectly good person who just made a bad choice.
Avene
June 10th, 2016 11:56pm
Recognise that everyone makes mistakes. See if you can find why you cheated, and how to fix or avoid these things in the future. Sometimes cheating happens because there has been too much alcohol; other times there might be something that isn't working within the relationship.
divinewillpower86
June 11th, 2016 12:36am
cheating happens if you are lured by someone or attracted to someone extremely. I guess you are now focusing on trust factor the other person has have on this relationship. and this making you feel suffocated. you can either forget past and move away with relationship or think if you are going to repeat something again then better to leave the relationship. your heart knows the answer
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 4:53pm
If you want to stop hating yourself. You've got to start loving yourself. You must focus on self-improvement and not dwelling on things that have happened. Learn from the mistake. I
Supergirl94
June 16th, 2016 8:26am
Admit it to yourself, admit what you did, why you did it, and how you want to fix it. Whether with the person you cheated on or fix something with yourself
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 1:19pm
Be honest wit your partner if you havent told them. Forgive yourself, you are human and humans make mistakes. It will take time, but give yourself a chance