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I cheated on my boyfriend but I love him. How do I fix it?

116 Answers
Last Updated: 02/20/2018 at 7:36pm
I cheated on my boyfriend but I love him. How do I fix it?
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United States
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Lisa Groesz, PhD


With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
May 25th, 2016 4:14pm
If you "love" him then you wouldn't have cheated. There is no excuse for cheating. Cheating is unacceptable on all levels.
February 20th, 2018 7:36pm
Did you tell him? Does he know? Honestly, this is what makes all the difference... if he knows, it is time for deep and serious conversation. If he does not know.. and you are sure he never will find out.. personally I think you should just let it go, you slipped once.. you are only human. And forgive yourself. Learn from your mistake. Be good and better to him. Forgive yourself. (there are many who will not agree with me. It is your choice, ultimately.. )
May 18th, 2016 6:49pm
You can start by telling him what you did. Hiding it won't help anything. Express your remorse and love towards him. He may not like that you cheated and not trust you for a while but overtime your relationship will heal. I'm only speaking from my personal experience, I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years in the beginning of our relationship. Our relationship isn't fixed because it was never broken. It took us some time to figure that out.
April 29th, 2016 6:59am
You don't love him! If you have ever loved him what's the point of cheating on him? Leave him alone and let him be happy
May 13th, 2016 1:12pm
Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. The truth always comes out in the end. Mistakes do happen, we are only human after all. I can't guarantee that you will be forgiven, but you will most certainly be respected for telling truth. If you truly love your partner, and he sincerely loves you in return, then there is nothing stopping you from working through this. You must be honest with yourself! Ask yourself... Why did I do this? Was there an element of diminished responsibility involved? Am I 100% happy in my relationship, or is something missing? Be honest with yourself, and be honest with your partner. If you ever need to talk one on one then do not hesitate to contact me. Best of luck!
April 16th, 2016 4:18am
Be honest with your boyfriend. Honesty is very important in a relationship. Tell him your side - the motive for your actions and what you can do to help better the situation. Be open minded and understand that he'll feel hurt and may not respond in a way you might like or expect. Then, calmly talk about what you two can work on if you want to continue the relationship.
July 18th, 2016 1:30pm
The question here should be, how do I live with the decision I made. Learn. Accept you cannot change the past, ask for forgiveness, and move on.
May 8th, 2016 9:06am
If your boyfriend knows you cheated then you may not have the ability to fix things between you. Firstly I suspect he will be feeling, betrayed and hurt and he may or may not be able to get over these feelings. You may have to be prepared to answer lots of questions he may have and your answers may hurt him even further. You will have to give him time and maybe space to recover. Secondly you should consider the reasons behind what happened, are you sure your relationship with your boyfriend was in good shape at the time of your slip. I think you just have to accept you have hurt him, and he may not trust you again for a long time...but if you love him, just let him recover at his own pace.
September 6th, 2016 11:54am
If you love him you have to remain open, honest and truthful with him for the relationship to work. There shouldn't be any secrets between you two, so be honest and tell him what happened. But tell him you love him and tell him that you really do care, and if he feels the same then he should understand and forgive you. It may be hard for him to forgive you but if he really loves you then everything will work out in the end ;)
March 27th, 2016 8:29am
First try to keep this on your mind "Not everything that is broken could be fix but their is always no harm on trying." Accept that fact that it your mistake first, try to give your partner enough time to think. Do everything that you can to gain his trust again and to fix your relationship with him. But don't be too pushy, accept and respect his decision maybe you guys just need time and space,
March 24th, 2016 12:18pm
A great way to fix anything is with communication! its always great to communicate to the person and tell the truth. I know thats very hard to do but the best thing to do is tell the truth and help your boyfriend understand how much you love him. Its not good to keep lies in.
March 25th, 2016 9:18am
By being honest and talking about what you did ...apologising sincerely for the hurt , and doing whatever you can do to repair the relationship. Trust is very hard to build and so easy to lose ... think about whether you can be faithful going forward before trying to patch things up....
April 16th, 2016 6:18pm
Everyone makes mistakes, because we're only human. But as you can imagine, he'll probably be pretty hurt. The most you can do is show that you still love him and he means a lot to you. If he doesn't know, depending on the situation, it might be best to tell him. Trust is better than lying, but it all depends on your situation.
July 1st, 2016 11:12am
Tell him what you did. Be honest, if you really love him, and he really loves you, he will forgive you.
March 26th, 2016 4:47am
understand that it is completely up to your boyfriend if he wants to leave or not. you CANNOT stop that. know that you did do the wrong thing, you broke his trust and much more. be honest with him about it, tell him why you did it ect. many people cheat because something is wrong in there current relationship - make sure you tell him what this is WITHOUT accusing him or being harsh (phrase it "I feel like we have a problem with.." ect)
June 22nd, 2016 4:52am
Everyone makes mistake, and just because you did something terrible doesn't mean you're a bad person. Make sure he knows you made a mistake, and you have to work with him and the emotions he is feeling
August 16th, 2016 1:59am
You said "love." This is a very strong word. I recommend that you See a concealer because You need to figure out what brought you to cheat. You have to explain this to him in the best way you can. Say to him what you would want him to say to you in this situation. If he stays or if he goes is up to him. But you will be okay. I promise.
May 26th, 2016 6:04pm
First thing, you should be honest with him. Seriously, honesty will help you a lot. When you're honest with him there's a fat chance that he'll understand. Of course it's horrible to know that you've been cheated so be ready for some reaction. Adopt the actions speak louder than words and 'show' that you truly care for him. Instead of telling him that you love him, show it to him. Repeatedly let him know that you regret what you've done and you're sorry and that you love him. And last but not the least, give him time because only time can heal his wounds. However in giving him time, don't forget to always let him know that you love him.
April 28th, 2016 8:31am
You can apologize and hopes that he still loves you after what you have done. There is no garanteed way to secure your relationship, for what you have done is wrong, although can still be forgiven if he can look over your mistake.
May 4th, 2016 8:09am
You must tell him, hiding this will only make matters worse. And after lying to him by cheating the risk of having him find out for himself will show him that you are not honest and it often makes people feel like you will never be honest. Whereas if you told him now, admitted, confessed and apologised letting him know you could go on pretending nothing happened because it hurts you. He could see that you care for his wellbeing and told him to begin mending that trust back together. Everything will hopefully work out in the end. Promise to never tell a lie to him again and what you had was special and what happened with the other person wasn’t. If you never wanted to hurt him and/or were under the influence of alcohol let him know.
April 6th, 2016 10:14am
Firstly accept that a mistake has been made and forgive yourself. Only then will you be able to communicate honestly with your boyfriend about what it happened in the first place. To take further steps towards rebuilding your relationship have a open discussion over where you both stand.
April 30th, 2016 11:52am
If you really love your boyfriend, you have to gain back his trust and show him how you truly care about him.
April 1st, 2016 7:37pm
Cheating is never good. If you truly love someone you wouldn't do that. The bravest thing to do is to tell him yourself instead of him finding out from others because then it shows your honesty.
May 18th, 2016 6:39pm
I would advise you to find a best suitable time to talk to boyfriend. Honesty and trust is very important in any given relationship. Once you know your boyfriend strengths and weaknesses you can choose a right time to communicate with him about it. Be completely honest about what happened and ensure to indicate what you have done to move forward. Your partner may be angry and upset which is normal. If this occur give him some space to vent his feelings. It will not be easy but will take a lot of commitment and work to hold the relationship together. Lastly your partner may ask you questions like: when did this happen? Why you did it? Who is the person? Where it happened? How was the sex? How did you feel? Was it the first time? Did you use protection like a condom? What does this person have or do that he doesn't have or do? Be prepared to answer or expect these questions. I would suggest counseling afterwards depending on what happens when you tell him. All the best. Ensure to express your love for him and that you apologize genuinely. It is best to end the connection with the person you cheated with.
June 12th, 2016 2:01pm
Be honest with him.tell him how you feel and the reasons for your cheating.if he truly loves you he will forgive you and understand that you are a human being you make mistakes and you learned from them.then be faithful
May 11th, 2016 3:06pm
Well, all relationships are built on honesty and trust. You have sadly already broken the trust part but you can make it better by fixing it with the honesty part. You may lose him if you tell him but if you tell him now, it's better then if you tell him later or if he finds out somewhere else.
July 16th, 2016 10:29pm
This is a decision that only you can make but it seems that these thoughts are playing on your mind and if you feel that your relationship with your boyfriend is worth keeping and you would like to continue to be with him its important that you speak to him at anytime you feel comfortable and ready and try and share with him what is on your mind. You must also put yourself into your boyfriends shoes and anticipate that the conversation might not be how you expected, its not easy to share with a loved one that you have been unfaithful but time is a healer and perhaps your boyfriend will or will not be willing to accept what you have to say to him. You should take your time to decide whether or not you are ready and be prepared. It might also be worth sharing some of your feelings and thoughts with a friend or family member that you can trust and confide in if you have someone. It might help you make sense of what you need to do. Follow your heart and be strong. You know what is right for you and you are making positive steps forward by realizing that you love your boyfriend and that you want to fix mistakes that you have made. We all make mistakes so don't be too hard on yourself no-one is perfect. Best of luck to you.
March 25th, 2016 11:27pm
Always remember that honesty is so important in any relationship- Everyone make mistakes. What you need to do is to be honest and tell him about what you did , and give him all of your reasons. He has the right to know- and you need to sit with yourself and think truly of how would you feel if you were in his place. I hope it works out for you.
April 8th, 2016 2:14pm
Tell him. Ask for forgiveness. But think about it. Why did you cheat in the first place? There's probably something wrong in your relationship - talk about it. There's no better solution to a problem than a decent and comfortable talk.
April 15th, 2016 4:19pm
Tell him the truth and say sorry sincerely. Find his heart before you start talking. Heart should talk to heart as well. It will be easier to understand.