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I still have dreams about my ex, sometimes they're good and sometimes they're bad. What does that mean?

211 Answers
Last Updated: 05/13/2022 at 2:35pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
June 3rd, 2020 7:49pm
It could mean they've been on your mind, because dreams sometimes reflect what we've been thinking about. When my first boyfriend and I broke up, I would have dreams about him every night, but it was because the breakup was so fresh and the person was regularly on my mind. As time went on, I had fewer and fewer dreams about him, because I thought about him less and less. There were good dreams where we were together and happy, and there were sad dreams about him dating other people, etc. They went away over time, and I'm sure yours will too. If you don't want to have these dreams as often, I would recommend limiting contact and unfollowing them on social media platforms - at least for now. It will help you get some online distance in addition to physical distance! :)
June 11th, 2020 3:14am
I see dreams as a way for your body to reflect on the past. Having a mix of good and bad dreams doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or your ex. Feelings relayed in dreams are just a reflection of life. The feelings are moving through those ups and downs that may have occurred in the relationship. If anything, dreams can be used to remind oneself of possible shortcomings from the past. We can all use dreams to aim our future goals to be more aligned with what we believe and hold near our hearts. Always learn from our past experiences.
June 24th, 2020 3:00pm
Hi! Our dreams can be the mirror to our subconscious mind, while support for this psychoanalytic belief varies. It might be that you're suppressing some negative/ positive feelings for your ex inside you, which are getting manifested in your dreams. An important part of moving on is acknowledging our feelings and shared experiences with our partners and addressing them instead of ignoring them. Would you like to talk to a listener and vent out your emotions? It might help you work through any suppressed feelings/ emotions you have been harboring towards your partner and lead to self-awareness and self-discovery. It might also make you have these recurring dreams less. I have attached a referral link if you would like to speak-
June 25th, 2020 11:32pm
I view dreams as a good source of information about feelings and emotions at a deep, non-verbal level. "Dream analysis" Maybe you miss them, maybe you wonder how they're doing, or maybe you didn't get the closure you wanted/needed. Regardless of your situation, dreams are caused by what's going on in your subconscious mind which is leading to these dreams you are having. Unfortunately, we cannot control our dreams. Having un resolved issue can trigger these dreams or having some attachment to you ex could also be the cause. Taking to a therapist can help more about this problem
July 8th, 2020 6:43pm
Dreams are really complicated. They can mean a lot of things, and they can be confusing. Without knowing what kind of relationship you and your ex had, the dream could mean a couple of things. If the dreams are sometimes good or bad, that could represent the ups and downs of the relationship. It could also signify how you feel about them now, if part of you still cares for them but part of you resents them. It's tough to say exactly what it means without knowing the relationship. But at surface level, it seems like there are still some emotions about the relationship or the breakup that you need to process.
July 19th, 2020 11:06pm
This is natural. If you have a connection with an individual and are with them for a long time, learning to love them and spending time with them, then memories and thoughts will not disappear just because you're no longer together. How you interpret the content of your dreams is your choice, but never think that, just because your ex appears in a dream, its something you should be guilty of. When you're with a person and you split up, getting over them takes time. Maybe your mechanism of getting over your ex is through your dreams. Either way, this is perfectly natural, don't worry!:)
August 10th, 2020 1:10am
Dreams mostly occur to relax our mind, brain get relaxed while we are dreaming and it releases extra unwanted data in form of dreams maybe your brain want u to not stress about him and forget him that's why you are seeing him in your dreams , your brain is indicating you to move on ✌️✌️✌️Past always remains in past you don't need to stress yourself over it that's what your dreams indicate don't feel that you need him it's just you are going through a process of removing unwanted data from your mind . Just don't think about it it's normal I also sometimes see people but I take it lightly they are just dreams
August 29th, 2020 3:37pm
Depends on how you perceive it and what is your present situation. If you just had a breakup, it's fine. If you are single, you are continuously thinking about it. If you are into a relationship, it is destructive. Dreams are part of what we think subconciously and what has a greater impact on our lives in the long run. That's the reason we hold on to it and it apprears in our dreams even when we don't want it. Try talking it out with someone here. There can be many reason as to why this is happening with you. Maybe we can help.
September 23rd, 2020 5:25pm
In the aftermath of a break up, it is common for a person to still think, daydream, or even have nocturnal dreams about the relationship. Sometimes, these dreams can feel like a part of you is still trying to process the relationship or the interactions shared with that person. If the relationship was bathed with overwhelming emotion (positive or negative) or if there was trauma (emotional or physical) associated with the relationship, such dreams may even be more frequent or more vivid. Usually, though, it seems such dreams are merely the mind's attempts to make sense of, process, and sort memories, thoughts, and feelings about the person or the relationship as a whole.
October 4th, 2020 10:04pm
Would you say that you have both good and bad memory’s of your past relationship? You ex is a part of your past. It doesn’t matter why you broke up, there had to be some good quality and fun times. The fact that this person is you’re ex makes me believe that it wasn’t meant to be and there was some not so great times. Are you currently in a relationship now? If so how are things going. I don’t think that it’s bad to have dreams about your past relationships. What do you think the dream means? Could there be something that is coming up that would make you think of him?
October 25th, 2020 8:33pm
It means that you still thing about your ex. Maybe you’re not conscious of it but you might miss them or feel like something was left unfinished so you can’t move forward. I also dream about my ex like once a month and it’s true that I still miss them sometimes. Again, maybe you just miss the memories, not the person. The thing is that many people think that dreams absolutely have meanings and stuff but sometimes that’s not true. Sometimes you just unconsciously miss someone eventhough you’re sure that you don’t think of them anymore. Maybe it’s time to reconsider your feelings, not ignore them.
November 1st, 2020 6:23pm
It just means you care. It is hard to let go of some people no matter what they did to us or how the relationship ended. Caring is never a bad thing but sometimes we need to let the past go. Still thinking about them or having dreams about them is not wrong in a nd of itself but you should probably be careful that you do not dwell on those thoughts and dreams too much or it could cause unneeded emotional and mental stress. Make sure that you are putting yourself and your mental, emotional, and physical health before anything else.
November 22nd, 2020 10:08pm
The Person in Your Dreams is Thinking About You Dreaming about someone can be a sign that they are thinking or dreaming about you. This might come as a great surprise to you! If you dream about someone you have not seen for a long time they are likely thinking about you or might make an appearance in your life soon "There is something about them or something from back then that you may need now or are experiencing now." In fact, these kinds of dreams can be a warning. ... Dreams about an ex are no different. But usually it just means you're still processing something from that relationship — or even just that period of your life.
December 3rd, 2020 2:46am
That you're dreams may mean something. It may be a sign that you either should be thinking about him or shouldn't I know it's hard to understand you're dreams sometimes and what they mean and what you're supposed to do and how to react to it. I'm here to help you through the hard stuff. I'm here to listen, to support, To be helpful and make you feel better about was is going on with you. Figure out what's the best plan for you and how you think you should go on by doing it. I'll be here no matter the happy or sad times.
January 15th, 2021 6:29am
Mainly, these dreams are just your brain missing the person. Maybe you're unsettled with the way things ended between the two of you, or maybe you're still trying to work past the way your relationship ended in your mind. These dreams can mean you miss this person, or perhaps certain qualities of the person. But it can also mean that you miss feeling wanted, or that you miss being in a relationship. I hope this helped and if you need anything or more clarification, just comment on this. Remember, you are worth it and lift your head to the sky.
March 19th, 2021 3:38pm
It can be difficult to cope with unresolved issues in a past relationship despite it being a long time since you have had other new relationships or feel you are happy in your current relationship. Common dreams about our ex-partners, ex-boyfriends, or ex-lovers all can be of different types of dreams. They could be about real life events, or can reflect negative feelings or unfinished business with your ex or partner, especially after a recent ex breakup. The good news is that you can focus on your daily life and current partner as well as happy relationship. You can consider keeping a dream journal to try find out whether you have common themes in your dreams, as it might just be somethings in your unconscious mind.
March 27th, 2021 7:55am
Usually we dream about things we might be thinking about. Have you been thinking about your ex a lot lately? Do you miss him? Also our brains can't imagine new faces when we dream, so everyone in our dreams is someone who we have seen or met at some point. But then again dreams are very weird in general. Sometimes you can dream that you are doing strange things, but it doesn't need to mean that its a sign about something. With your ex, did you leave the relationship in good terms or was it a more complicated breakup?
April 8th, 2021 3:22am
Although we can not control our dreams, we can choose to embrace them for whatever they may mean. Having a dream about someone in your past may just mean that they were apart of your life, and may have meant something to you at one point in time. Wether they are good or bad dreams, it may also not reflect how you actually feel about that person or event. Dreams are unpredictable, and as much as we wish we could control them, they come to us in different forms no matter what. Embrace your dreams and see the good always.
May 5th, 2021 9:16am
Dreams just reflect a persons mind or the things a person experienced during the day. There is a possibility that you might not be over your ex completely. It can be a dream where your subconcious mind is trying to fulfill your desire. It also depends how recent the breakup is. If you think it is not that then it is possible to have dreams about them, because something or someone constantly reminds you of them in your daily life. Third reason i can think of is that maybe there are some unsolved feelings when it comes to your breakup, your ex or yourself.
May 19th, 2021 4:53pm
We don't truly know the reason why we dream in the first place, but people tend to dream (good or bad) about things they had a lot of exposure to, such as seen it all the day before or thought about the topic for a good amount of time. Therefore, you can interpret the reason for your dreams however you think applies to your situation. Breakups take a toll on a person, and that's understandable. Ending a connection with someone causes a lot of time and reflection. Therefore, it is normal and perfectly fine to still think about or dream of your ex from time to time.
June 9th, 2021 11:41pm
Many times our brains want to figure some things out, things maybe left unsolved. Other times it might mean you miss that person or that you want to live again some moments even if they're created in your head while sleeping. Maybe some things are triggering the memories of that person and that's the reason why you're having dreams with that person. There are many reasons why you might still have dreams about a person whether it is an ex or someone else. It is completely normal to happen, specially when some things are inconclusive in someone's thoughts or feelings or experiences lived with that person.
June 17th, 2021 10:10am
If someone is still on your unconscious mind, it means you haven't been able to get over the event. Regardless of them being good, or bad, the mere fact that you are constantly dreaming about them is a glaring hint that you need to resolve the issue. Whether that's by coming to terms with how you're feeling, or taking time to practice self-care so that you feel more confident about YOU than them. Perhaps you didn't have time to get over the breakup or your ex is someone that you find it hard to get over, it's your body's way of telling you to take care of how you're feeling inside. You've got this, we're all rooting for you.
June 24th, 2021 8:55pm
Hi, Having dreams about your ex and the associated attachments sound natural. We all form attachment bonds to others we become close to and when we lose these connections it takes time and care to process, like cutting off a plant stem, we still have our roots and know that a new stem will grow, but only if given time, and the right attention. As for what it means, perhaps it's your body giving you a sign that there are still things it needs to process from that time and it feels that now is perhaps the right time to do so. Perhaps it may help to discuss the details of your dream with someone who will listen closely, as well as explore what may be important to you about the relationship to you still. Alternatively, taking time for yourself to write out the events of the dream or your past relationship on paper/ digitally, it may give you some perspective, which you can repeat at a latter time and compare. Lastly, I think it's positive that you are taking the time to notice and seek to process your dreams about your ex step by step. To have something mentally reoccur a lot is often a sign it is important and to bury it would likely only make it more intense. Good luck with your exploration, please take it at your own pace, to process an emotion/ significant event is never a strait light, but more like feeling your way through a dark room. Thanks again for reaching out and take care.
July 9th, 2021 12:53pm
This doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything. Sometimes people or things can appear in our dreams simply because they’ve been a part of our lives. Looking at your dreams and the other components within it, may help you better determine what your subconscious may be trying to tell you. How does the dream play out? Who was in it? What were your surroundings? And what was the general feeling of the dream? Taking a deeper look into your dreams can often help to show you what they really mean, and expose what may be happening in your life that you may feel unsettled or confused about
July 14th, 2021 9:35pm
Dreams don't have a clearly defined reason for existing. There are theories, of course, that they're everything from a message from our subconscious to just the side effect of your neurons being stimulated while processing the day's events. But assuming dreams do have meaning, it's very possible your dreams are telling you that they meant a lot to you, and maybe they still do. It could also mean you have unfinished business. It's completely up to you, however, if it's worth your energy to seek that closure, or just forgive them and move on. It could also just mean they're a familiar face and an easy one for your brain to reconstruct from memory. So the short answer is it really depends on the relationship you had, and what you believe about dreams. What you give importance to.
October 21st, 2021 1:16am
Its normal to start having dreams, and it may be because you think about them often. When we think about things a lot, we often then start having dreams about them. It may also be that you have not yet completely healed from your past relationship and if so, it might help to jump into the queue for a listener so that you can share what you are going through and talk more about how you are feeling about yourself and towards your ex. You can share your experience and your thoughts as to why you believe this is happening. Hope that helped :).
November 10th, 2021 10:09pm
Dreams have many meanings. Sometimes dreams are our body and brain trying to process our complex emotions. We may not know how we feel and our mind tries to figure this out. This can cause of us to ruminate, which won't get us to a helpful answer. Instead we should take a different approach. For example, reaching out for help from a therapist or using the 7 cups guide to find practical solutions to resolve feelings. We could try to gain new perspectives on our problem, think about it in a new way that allows us to focus on our values and achieve our goals.
November 24th, 2021 2:30am
Your brain is just processing everything that happened! I thought mine once meant more, but reconnecting with my ex just brought me more pain that I didn't need to go through. When we sleep-and sleep is important-our brain is actually clearing out all of the muck of the day, like taking out the trash and sanitizing. Everything that was left over gets cleared away and there's more room for tomorrow's information and sensory input! What's really happening with your dreams is your brain is most likely clearing out the rubbish bin and scraping away the negative experiences. Just continue to get some rest and take care of yourself!
November 30th, 2021 2:38am
I know when having dreams, in this case about your ex could mean that there may be unfinished business or questions that you need answers to. Maybe it's a sign that you need to deal with that relationship(s) issues as there is unfinished business. Maybe there are feelings that you didn't realize you still had. I know for myself I had to do some self care and therapy in order to get over the relationship as it was toxic and very unhealthy. Look into yourself, some soul searching and maybe you can come up with an answer or maybe you may need some professional help to help you understand why these dreams keep happening.
December 4th, 2021 12:59pm
A dream symbolizes as much as you want it to. If you think it is important for you to understand what this dream means, then you can think of it as your ex having a lasting impact on you and the dream merely symbolizes the ups and downs you faced in your relationship. On the other hand, it could also mean that you are trying your best to move on hence you are able to look at both the good and the bad sides. However, it could also simply mean nothing so it depends on what you would like to do with the information your dreams provide.