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I still have dreams about my ex, sometimes they're good and sometimes they're bad. What does that mean?

197 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2021 at 7:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Amelia Winsby, PsyD

Psychologist

I often work with clients who experience a wide range of emotions and difficulties. I am non-judgmental and enjoy working with individuals from all walks of life.

Top Rated Answers
Positivityiskeyalways
June 22nd, 2018 11:45pm
I think a lot of people go through this. We all dream about people we care for it’s only natural, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything
Anonymous
June 28th, 2018 11:28am
It means you are too lonely. Get your mind occupied. Get somebody or something else to occupy your mind with.
wonderfullSummer84
June 29th, 2018 2:59pm
Well, dreams are basically lucid thoughts, and are often influenced by what you were thinking before you went to sleep. So depending on whether or not you were feeling happy or upset with your ex when you went to sleep can have a huge effect on your dreams. It doesn’t necessarily have a meaning, and it’s perfectly normal to have mixed feelings about your ex.
friendlyComfort96
July 5th, 2018 1:59am
You cared for this person a lot at a time in your life. There will always be a part of you that is connected, but that doesn't mean that you were meant to be together.
AzureThunder
July 11th, 2018 6:50pm
It's normal to have dreams about your ex. Whether they're good or bad, dreams reflect what you've thought about or what sticks in your head. You may be stressed about it, or perhaps some positive feelings are still in your mind. I do believe they fade over time, but I wouldn't ascribe specific meaning to them.
interestingRabbit78
July 12th, 2018 10:20pm
That could mean that you are still attached..depending on th end of the relationship and the way it ended could change how things effect you.
slavont
July 14th, 2018 2:08am
It means that you still think about them, they were once a big part of your life, as you were theirs. Memories don't disappear.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2018 3:05am
Your ex had always space from your memory. Your memories with that person will never be forget especially if it involves intense emotions. If you dream about your ex it might be possible that your subconscious mind has unfinished business that needs to be settle. It's either questions, doubts or 'what ifs'. If it is good dreams, it might be possible that you treasured your memories with your ex and your subsconscious mind reminding you "hey that feels so good to be with someone whom treats you special"
Tianna17
July 25th, 2018 9:43am
It’s means you’re not over your ex and you are always thinking about them, so they appear in your dreams.
JojoMojoHappy
August 1st, 2018 7:31pm
It means that they were fulfilling some unmet need of yours that hasn't yet been fulfilled or has been left leaking upon their departure.
gentleHoney34
August 3rd, 2018 1:58am
That is a good question. The simple answer is I have no idea. Maybe something in your day reminded you of them... A lot of times that is what has happened to me.
Waves53
August 3rd, 2018 8:22pm
It sounds like a normal part of the grief process. There is good and bad in every relationship, even the ones that have ended. It's natural for that to show up in our dreams as our minds and hearts process our past and help us heal for the future.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2018 9:22am
It means you haven't been able to move on completely from your ex and that you may have some things left in your heart.
MeganForbes
August 8th, 2018 6:29pm
Whether the dream is good or bad doesnt really change the fact that you two were once in a relationship. Good or bad dreams can happen with family members or friends. It just means that they have been on your mind. This can show that you miss being in that relationship or feeling wanted.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2018 6:13am
Honestly it probably doesnt mean much, we still dont fully understand why dreams happen, but sometimes we dream of people from our pasts for random reasons. If you are dreaming about them frequently it could suggest you miss them, but if you dont really have feelings about them anymore then it's probably just your brain choosing a random and familiar person to throw into your dream land.
comfortableRainbow89
August 12th, 2018 2:07am
It means you're very conflicted. I am also doing the same thing to myself. I'm at the stage where I need friends and doing other things. I only get that until school which is 2 more weeks. So, go have fun with people. Don't be alone. Being alone caused this!
Anonymous
September 5th, 2018 1:05pm
It's quite simple. It means you didn't get over your ex and the break up. You still think about him/her, and maybe you feel something for him/her. The fact that you dreamt bad and good means you're confused about him/her, yourself and your emotions. You're lost in that confusion, you don't understand anything. I do not know how your relationship ended, its effects still haunt you in your dreams. I think when you're awake you don't think about the break up or him/her. However when you sleep your truly emotions come up as dreams. (I hope you understand.) You know, dreams have often meanings so you can start the understanding on that path and maybe, you'll figure out why do you have these dreams.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2018 4:39pm
People who do a good job of managing emotions know that it's healthy to express their feelings — but that it matters how (and when) they express them. Because of this, they're able to react to situations in productive ways: They know they can choose the way they react instead of letting emotions influence them to do or say things they later regret. They have a sense of when it's best to speak out — and when it's better to wait before acting on, or reacting to, what they feel. They know that their reaction influences what happens next — including how other people respond to them and the way they feel about themselves.
Dtro18
September 29th, 2018 1:51am
It would mean that there are still thoughts of your ex that float around in your subconscious. It would appear as though you are analyzing their good and their bad characteristics, assessing your relationship and your breakup. This is normal after a breakup, as your brain comes to terms with the summation of who they were as a person. It is also common to assess the reasons for your breakup. The fact that you are experiencing both positive and negative memories means that there were probably good and bad aspects of your ex and your relationship. This is preferable to only remembering the good, or only remembering the bad.
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2018 10:01am
It most probably means that you miss the person or you have some unresolved issues with him/her. Dreams in their simplest form are manifestations of your minds desires. Talking to the person about it could help give your mind some relief. If the bad dreams occur more than the good dreams, it hints that you may still have have some remaining issues with the person. Talking it out with them maybe the best thing to do. If in case they do not wish to contact you, try talking to your friends or family about it. They might be able to help you resolve your unrest.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2018 8:17pm
I think dreams show us the thoughts in our subconscious. As they are an ex there are good and bad parts to every relationship. It seems your mind is just processing things. Eventually you will move on and these dreams will go. If you are concerned about them it can be helpful to write them down to work out if there is any running themes, this can help you process difficult feelings. But ultimately it does not do well to dwell on dreams, as they are purely subconscious thoughts. And we’ve all had those weird dreams that make no sense to anyone
Anonymous
November 21st, 2018 9:36pm
It's because of memories. Every memories you had with him, bad or good, will be always in your mind, even when you already move on. It's not bad to have dream about your ex sometimes, what's bad if you still like your ex even when your ex already move on. Sometimes you miss the memories, but not the person. You can't erase memories that you have with your ex. The only you can do is enjoy it. Don't think too deep about it, or guess the meaning behind it, and don't make those dreams feel like an enlightment. Memories will last forever, dear..
Undertheseaaaa
November 22nd, 2018 7:19pm
I think when any kind of relationship ends, being either romantic/friendship or anything we will always have feelings and emotions that stay with us and I think you having dreams about your ex is your mind and body's way of getting over it and moving on. Coming to terms with things can be really hard and sometimes can take a little time. Maybe you could try and sit whilst you're awake and think things through. How are you feeling about the relationship you guys had now? Do you miss him/her? Are you wishing maybe you guys could work things out? Did they hurt you in some kind of way?
littlegenius
February 3rd, 2019 5:46pm
It's really hard to get rid of 100 percent to someone whom you spent with so many hours, days and even years. It is very normal to dream of your past memories with him. Thing that matters the most to you is not about good and bad dream. But you need to understand not to sink in yourself and feel deeply with those dreams such as "is he ok?" Or "is it a sign of he is missing me". Kindly leave past at past if it can't be worked out at all. Being stuck in the past will stop you seeing better beginnings ahead. However, I am very glad to know that you do not hate him cause you are telling me about him. If someone hates their exs, they won't bother telling this to others. It's the best way to live without holding any grudge on anyone.
zealsunshine09
March 22nd, 2019 10:24am
It means that sometimes you subconsciously think about him and that is alright as we do think about people we care about or who we cared about in the past perhaps you may want to figure out why is it that you are thinking about him and that will help you reflect on your feelings towards the dreams you have about him. If you feel like you need to vent or have unresolved thoughts confide in a friend and tell them about your feelings to get some perspective as well. And If you feel like you can't do that talk to us at 7 cups we are here to listen
Anonymous
April 20th, 2019 10:12am
Normally we see dreams of people who we think about a lot It doesn't matter if the dream is good or bad. Or you might be seeing the dream because your ex is demonstrating a feeling or emotion that you want or have or miss. Anyways don't think about it so much. It might not even mean anything. Remember that your ex is your ex for a reason. You both went your separate ways. It is best if you move on and find someone else. Don't think about your ex anymore.
LC1225
May 26th, 2019 12:41pm
To me this means that they are still on your mind. It might be that they are subconsciously on your mind but you are thinking about them nonetheless. You were with this person so you connected with them at some point and that means it means something or meant something to you. I don't think it is necessarily a good or bad thing. It is just a thing and that's okay. If you just recently broke up then this is something more common but if you have been broken up for awhile now it is still "normal" just not as common. I think its safe to say that this will go away in time. Good luck with it! -LC
MiniAshMart
May 27th, 2019 4:58am
It’s typical to dream about your ex. You’re merely managing these images and memories as a way to fill in some of the gaps you might be missing as a person. However bad the experience was with your ex; your brain is utilizing it to develop. There is no exact way to adequately explain dreams or the chosen people who manifest within them. Our brains use dreaming as a way to recover from stress, past traumas, or to make sense of events we may not fully grasp. Your ex may also play a role in your life, and you yourself may not barely grasp it. This is partially anticipated to psychological habit, partially due to what your ex represents to you, and partially due to an attempt to heal unresolved issues like the reason for the breakup.
Hanaa00
June 12th, 2019 11:15pm
I will try and answer this question as honestly as i can, and also by sharing my own experience, since I personally do not believe that there is an objective answer to it. So, at the moment, i am in a similar situation, and i have also asked myself this question. In my personal case, i feel like i have sort of “forced” myself to move on from losing my ex, i have tricked my own mind into thinking that i am not as affected by that breakup as I actually am. So, when i dream about him, I believe that’s just my subconsciousness reminding me that I haven’t gotten over that situation yet, that i still think about him although i put so much effort into not doing it. But things need time to heal, and we all need time before we can say that we have moved on completely, and that is okay.
ArabellaHazeldine
June 27th, 2019 2:54am
It doesn’t mean anything really. The mind is a very complex thing. Sometime you can dream about you ex because you’re nostalgic about the past, doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship, just past things that have happened. Maybe memories you had together. Maybe they’re bad because they’re reminding you about what happened and you’re still upset about the past. Or maybe it’s because you’re thinking of the bad things because you know you’re stronger to go back to somebody who did you wrong (if that was the case). Don’t listen to the dreams. Follow what you want in your clear head.