Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I'm dating someone who has been cheated on. What should I do?

305 Answers
Last Updated: 10/30/2020 at 2:28pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Traci Seery, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Are you living your best life? My style is collaborate, supportive and compassionate. Together, we will develop goals that produce positive results to make your life better.

Top Rated Answers
October 30th, 2020 2:28pm
I haven't dated anyone who has been cheated on. Instead I have faced a similar situation in my life, not once but twice! I was heart broken both the times but never gave up trusting others. Either I am way too stupid or way beyond optimist! I have risked myself that way, hopeless in love! I think it will be little harsh we tend to judge others on the grounds of one individual. We will never see how others may not be the same. At the same broken hearts are difficult to be repaired. But again, enough love can be the ice breaker!
May 18th, 2016 4:44pm
well just understand that he or she been hurt in the past and to treat him or her right to show that you not a person that's gone hurt him
May 18th, 2016 5:02pm
Try to reassure them, talk about it if you feel that'd be best. Ask what they're afraid of and why they shouldn't be afraid to get hurt like that again
May 18th, 2016 11:40pm
You should talk about it with them. Get them to tell you how they feel, and then reflect on that. Ask how you can help them.
May 20th, 2016 8:17am
Trust might be the biggest issue when u date some1 who had a bad past relationship. You have to make sure that he has completely forgotten and gt over the cheating and is planning to start a new with u.
May 21st, 2016 9:52pm
dont cheat on him/her
May 22nd, 2016 7:53am
Treat them with respect, (even if he or she hasn't been cheated on, you should still give them respect) and you cans always talk to each other as well 😀
May 26th, 2016 3:20pm
you should talk to them about what will help them feel safe and secure in the relationship. Give them the space to feel safe
May 26th, 2016 4:37pm
You should realize that those people often feel worried that they will be cheated on again. Reassure the person that you'll be clear about your feelings, and won't disrespect or hurt them like that.
May 29th, 2016 8:07pm
Tell him you love him and would never hurt him because you only want to be with him. Show him you can be trusted by telling him where you are if you re apart and texting/calling him to let him know you re ok if you re out, or if you re gonna be late home.
June 1st, 2016 1:30am
Treat them the best you possibly can and let them know that it's not their fault and shouldn't blame themselves for it and let them know that you are there for them no matter what
June 2nd, 2016 11:22pm
You can reassure them and try raise their self esteem by making sure they are aware you are not going to do the same, you can also show them a lot of care and affection to make them feel better
June 6th, 2016 3:01am
Be a friend to them also, make sure they know you'll be there for them. They shouldn't be alone if they have been cheated on. Make sure they can trust you.
June 8th, 2016 5:45am
Tell them to trust u, hope that they will and show that you wouldn't ever do anything like that to them.
June 8th, 2016 12:00pm
Try to show them that you are not going to do that to them. If they are worried about it happening again, try to foster as much trust as you can with them.
June 8th, 2016 2:35pm
You don't need to do anything except being loyal to them. Being cheated on is one of the worst things that can happen to an individual in a relationship. All you have to do is reassure them that you won't hurt them and you will be faithful and loyal to them and that they won't have to go through what they went through before,
June 8th, 2016 4:52pm
Gain their trust, make them understand that you will not abandon them and that you will be faithful to them.
June 9th, 2016 10:32pm
Show that you would never do the same thing. Don't say it, actions works way better than just words, and they can easily think you're lying. Show that you love him/her more than ever, maybe make a gift from the heart or a letter?
June 10th, 2016 12:47am
Ask them to judge you based upon your actions not their previous partner's behavior. It can sometimes be simply a way to control and manipulate a new partner rather than a true concern.
June 10th, 2016 4:01am
Make sure that you assure them that you won't cheat on them. They want to feel safe around you and don't want to go through that ordeal again.
June 10th, 2016 9:12am
Understand that they may have hesitation in the relationship when it comes to trust, they've been let down before. Be patient, kind, and show that you are not them and worthy of their trust.
June 10th, 2016 11:00pm
I went through this as well. Here is what I did. Be myself. Be consistent. Don't allow the person who cheated, affect who you are. Treat your other half with love, and although they've been hurt, they will see someone in front of them who doesn't fit the description of their past.
June 11th, 2016 5:15pm
You will have to give them time to trust you. I will say that people who have been cheated on might not be very trusting of people.
June 12th, 2016 5:13pm
Don't cheat on them. respect that they're worried about that and make sure you make it clear that you're faithful and you won't do that to them.
June 12th, 2016 10:17pm
Be there for your partner during their bad days, and just make sure that they know that someone will be there to listen, no matter what, Listen to them and cherish every word--it can make anyone's day better,
June 14th, 2016 6:05pm
Expect a lot of distrust and broken smiles. This person needs reassurance and honesty all around. While they may love you, there's still more than likely a lot of fear and paranoia buried beneath their everyday facade. You just have to be patient with them, and show them you love with through your actions.
June 15th, 2016 3:17am
Just don't cheat on that person again, It will destroy Him/her and he/she can't trust ever again....
June 16th, 2016 1:47am
One's whose heart has already been broken is either tii cautious and unsecured or frustrated due to sudden break up and can go mental and emotional trauma.. As a human being .. I would always try to get my feelings straight with her from the beginning itself to avoid any difficult situations as such. It will be best not to give her a sudden jolt by ending up the relationship if I need to and rather be more open and understanding in the relationship. Finally I would try to avoid any reason for her that would hurt her again for I shall be with her through the difficult times..
June 17th, 2016 9:23pm
Try and make them feel as comfortable as you can, it'll take a while for them to warm to you and see that you aren't that same person but eventually with the right support they will Come around. You have to take their mood swings and random questions that come with it but it's all part of the process
June 22nd, 2016 10:58am
Don't cheat on the person. The person must have already been through a lot of sadness and scars on his heart. If you really love the person, don't give up easily on them. Don't cheat. The person should know and develop that fsith in you, knowing you won't do what somebody else had done to them.