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Is it normal to miss the feeling of missing someone? And how to stop that?

155 Answers
Last Updated: 06/01/2022 at 11:15am
Is it normal to miss the feeling of missing someone? And how to stop that?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
ces101
July 25th, 2020 3:02am
Yes, it is normal to miss someone especially when it is you love ones because it shows that you loved them and they are once one part of your life. It doesn't matter how long you miss but it matters the value why you miss them. As the saying goes 'time heals'. let's live our life and do what makes us happy like doing things to make feel at ease on missing someone we love because that's part of our life, and looking forward to meet the missing person again and again and again. so let's be happy for them wherever they are right now.
Rosebowkay
August 7th, 2020 10:05pm
Yes, it is normal to miss the feeling of missing someone. It is easy to find comfort and peace in the process of grieving. It is only when you feel that the pain is unbearable that you should stop. Stopping that urge can be challenging but it might be necessary for growth. A way you can direct your mind in another direction is by getting to know yourself. Understanding what drives your passion and inspiration can help you appreciate the feelings you have devolped or haven't. Not having the same reactions as those around you doesn't make your choice unusual. There is nothing wrong with the feelings you may encounter. It is okay if after you have taken some time away you miss the feeling of missing someone.
supportiveHeart444
August 14th, 2020 10:43pm
To think of the grieving process when someone is no longer a part of your life. We go through stages and sometimes those stages do not make sense. To really embrace what you might be feeling this way and what you feel like you need to take away from these thoughts and feeling. Also, to define to word normal, is there a true thing as normal? What does normal mean to you. So what may be normal to you may not be normal to someone else. So to look at these feelings and question why you may be having them and to understand that this may be normal to you.
hellohiangel
August 20th, 2020 10:27am
Ofcourse it is. Even though how much hard time they made us feel, we always have that thought of missing them. And it is normal. You may not only miss the person but also the memories you have with them. It is because somehow they became a special person to you. And you may also find yourself, looking for that particular someone even though there are many people who surrounds you. it is because they still have that special place in your heart. Although it's hard to stop that, if you are really desperate, you need to think about some things. Distract yourself go to parties, watch movies. But becareful on meeting someone, or looking for someone just to forget him/her. Because you may make them a rebound or a past time unintentionally. But to sum it up, you need to try new things that isn't related to the person you want to forget. Like the things you never tried with him/her. But hey don't rush things, everything takes time. Healing takes time. And in time, all will be alright. In time, you will just find yourself, looking at that certain someone, without a hint of pain in you. I wish you happiness:)
FloraisonLuv
August 30th, 2020 2:26pm
It is completely normal to miss the feeling of missing someone. We've all experienced that certain feeling once up a time. There's no real way to stop it,but what you can do in efforts to minimize it is by finding ways to help distract yourself like taking up an old or new hobby or hanging with friends or getting lost in a long book series. Having healthy distractions can eventually take way that certain feeling that you miss and to help cope with things as a whole. What are some of your hobbies that you enjoy doing or hope to eventually pick up?
Pxidis
September 19th, 2020 9:04pm
Missing someone is very normal. Not missing them is also normal. Feelings are addictive, just as any drug is addictive, and food is addictive. We become addicted to feelings such as joy, sorrow, meloncholy, being elated, depression, hating, loving, and yes, missing. If we have missed someone for a long time, and then stopped missing them as we move on in our life, we might occasionally miss the missing just as a reformed smoker misses a cigarette even though they quite 10 years ago. Missing is normal, as is not missing, as is the feeling of missing the missing.
AllNaturalMary
September 20th, 2020 2:56pm
Yes, it's normal to miss the feeling of missing someone. I'm learning to call a thing a thing to stop it. Start by inhaling (choosing to release the name of person) moving your face to the right, and exhale all the way to the left( releasing the name of the person you missing) back to the center. You do this every time you start to think about that person through the day. Did you could also journal your feelings each day. Take a few minutes out of your time to start working on yourself. Over time it will help.
Anonymous
October 14th, 2020 4:07pm
Yes it is normal to miss someone. Naturally, missing your SO is a totally normal reaction to being separated from them. Whether you're apart for weeks, or if distance is a constant fixture in your relationship — we can all agree that pining after someone who isn't physically with you really sucks. So it's not surprising that the chemical reactions and what happens in your brain when you miss your partner can explain many of the feelings that may come up. As humans, we are often driven by brain processes we have no idea are occurring on a conscious level, but that doesn't mean that the feelings arising from these processes don't affect us in very real ways
Anonymous
October 24th, 2020 1:43pm
well missing someone is normal it happens more when you have less people around you and you are more like attach to one person only. Being close with one person only and not being able to have friend circle of many have this effect more according to attachment theory. Though missing someone is totally common you do not have to feel that you are all alone with this unique nature that no human does. Just remember if you do not wish to mish someone so much and feel sad and lonely without him you should just start new hobby for eg you can join book club.
DennisJanse
December 5th, 2020 2:30am
yes, of course it is, try to seek out to them, show that you have been missing them, for example message or call them on a social media, start out a conversation, just talk with them, then you could ask for a meet up, see them in person, and talk to them or see them regularly so the feeling of missing them doesnt come back, try to keep contact, go out and do fun activities like golfing, bowling, just chilling and watching netflix, playing video games, listening to music, or something else you would like to do with the person youve missed.
Anonymous
December 11th, 2020 4:46pm
It is normal to miss the feeling of someone, and it is totally ok. There may be a reason you're missing them, you miss the memories, what went wrong and so much more. What you can do it understand, and to understand what went wrong and to accept. If you feel like you made a mistake, you can be the bigger person and apologize, and it may help you get over them. Accepting what went wrong and not being in denial is also key because if you went wrong and refuse to accept it, you are creating a toxic relationship with not only them but yourself. You can do this :)
Anonymous
December 11th, 2020 6:44pm
One should never try measuring their feelings on a scale of normality. Every feeling you feel is normal because you are a human being and feelings are what keep you alive. While you should not be driven by them, reflecting on why you feel a certain way is healthy. From personal experience I can say that yes it is normal, I have missed a person immensely for a long time and then stopped eventually. And I missed that space inside my heart, the vacant feeling that missing someone gives. I asked myself- Why dont I miss the person now? Why do I miss missing the person? Your reason can be different but mine was simply time. Life goes on and I simply got busy feeling other stuff from other people somehow that one day missing that person took a back seat. About how to stop it, don't stress too much about stopping it. If you don't miss someone, tell yourself its okay...its just one of those feelings out of hundreds of other things we feel. Focus on your other feelings maybe and let it just naturally take its course.
courageousWords5138
December 30th, 2020 9:33am
yes it is normal to miss someone who was close to you again and again even if you don't want to. You just have to distract yourself from that thought instantly and think about something else, basically take your mind off tht topic and let that thought pass. I hope you are able to forget that person since you want to! because i know its hard to forget people you have built so many memories with or it could even be a thing but you have to let go off things and start thinking that there is something better in store for ya!
Allearsdrew0517
February 6th, 2021 6:23pm
What about them do you miss? It's hard to answer this question without the context of who you miss, why you miss them, the relationship dynamics etc. This is a very complex question, but I'll try and answer it in a short and sweet way. Missing people is completely normal, we are social creatures after all. There is nothing we can really do to minimize the hurt of missing someone, and even If we could, would that be healthy/would we really want that anyway? The experience of missing someone or something is what makes us cherish it so much when we have it. If you are feeling like you miss them in an unhealthy way, such as an unhealthy attachment style (seeing them every day and being in extreme distress during short breaks in contact, constantly thinking you'rer "missing" them when it's really just attachment anxiety in disguise). sort of way then that's something that you need to examine with or without a therapist and get to the root of. I have a feeling the situation is more complicated than the simple question but I tried my best to summate a few different points.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2021 1:56pm
Of course it's normal! I'm not sure how to stop it though. Focus and work on yourself and the feeling will get smaller and smaller. It hurts sometime losing someone or having to cut off someone for your own health but it does get better. Pain is not an everlasting thing and it will not be a burden for you forever. Find things that make you happy and try your best to move forward. Everything will be okay. Look for people in your life that will support and love you. I can't tell you how to stop missing someone but I can tell you that it get's better. It will really help. You're amazing!
Anonymous
March 14th, 2021 12:54pm
I know it may feel strange to stop missing someone but it means you have moved on. To stop that you could try and do activities that make you happy so you can get your mind off the person. Eventually, by constantly doing other things you will not miss them and you will move on. If it was an ex partner you can think it wasn’t meant to be and if it was, you will cross paths again. Moving on and stop missing someone is a normal part of life to be able to grow as a Person. So it is normal.
Greenshoots0101
March 26th, 2021 11:04am
From personal experience, it is normal to miss the feeling of missing someone. Having lost a close relative a few years ago I went through the various stages of grieving and it was a challenging time for me as I missed this person so much. It was like a huge empty hole in my life which I couldn't cope with. But over time, normality of life did return despite me thinking it never would. However, I still missed them despite some sense of normality returning and it was very comforting to me to have a feeling of missing them. A few years down the line, and I would say that I remember this person fondly and will always love them but I no longer have that feeling of 'missing them'. And this is a comforting feeling that I do miss actually. So, I no longer miss the person, but I do miss not having the feeling of missing them.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2021 5:53pm
It is completely Normal and acceptable to have feelings for someone and to also miss them dearly! We are human beings who derive off of intercultural communicational techniques of empathy and interaction and when someone important in our lives is no longer apparent well then it’s painful to go through but ITS OKAY TO FEEL THOSE FEELINGS! The BEST possible way to stop feeling those feelings is by not avoiding them because burying them will regurgitate them out later when you would least appreciate it, but by facing yourself and being completely honest and open with YOURSELF and have that inner dialogue that really speaks about how you’re thinking and feeling about this person and work through your feelings. When you do this you start allowing yourself to heal because you are facing the issue and then you address why they aren’t in your life anymore and why they don’t need to be and if they were good in your life then address that too and include the positive impact that they had on you and why they are no longer needed to be in your life anymore.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2021 4:38am
Yes it is normal to miss that feeling! I think I use to do this because I would enjoy the thought of someone more then the actual person. Learning to love being alone is probably the first step. Enjoy you’re own company! Next honestly just build friendships. Make sure it’s people you enjoy to be around. That way when you hang with them you enjoy the time with them but when you’re not with them, you still feel happy. If this doesn’t work try to figure out what it is you really miss. Is it just the fact that you use to have someone worth missing? Go to the root of the problem & work from there!
SoothingFlamingo
June 16th, 2021 9:13am
It is totally normal! The absence of a person you have a strong connection to can be very difficult to deal with. Whether or not you should stop it, depends on the situation. While everyone experiences the feeling of missing someone, everyone's individual experience is unique and should be respected. If you would like to stop missing someone because of your own personal experiences, especially if they are negative, your choice is completely valid. Either way, letting yourself experience the pain and understanding yourself is super important. Give yourself time to process your feelings; how you feel is valued and is your experience. You are important!
Anonymous
June 25th, 2021 5:49pm
I can't say it is or isn't normal to "missing the feeling of missing someone". From my perspective, I don't necessarily find in my life that its been fully negative to want to miss a loved one. In my experience, when I feel that I would like to remember or commemorate someone I've found that it has added to my life. For instance, sometimes thinking back even close ones lives it has been helpful to remember and celebrate their life experience and things they've added to the world. The desire to want that experience in my life has created a passion and reminder to cherish everyone around.
apiots
July 11th, 2021 7:15am
It's very normal to miss someone; I've felt the feeling myself multiple times! I understand just how painful it can be to miss someone, and I have broken down numerous times as a result of grief. Do be aware that grief is very normal and even healthy when it comes to missing someone. Personally, I like to think about the joyful times I had with the person to experience the pain and "get it over with," so to speak. It's important to get over the pain because if you don't let yourself cry it all out then the pain will only come back and linger.
AmazingPresence3962
July 16th, 2021 2:01am
Address the issue, don’t avoid it. If this is an option for you, speak to the person you’re missing. If it’s a friendship that has ended and you’re desperately missing it, speak to the other person involved. If your partner has relocated for work, speak to them about how you’re feeling. Remember that your feelings are valid and that, regardless of how understanding and supportive you’re being, you also have the right to express those feelings. If it’s to someone you no longer have a good friendship or relationship with, send a text asking if you can speak to them as you’re finding it hard to move on. We’ll address this further in our ‘Get closure’ section, but bombarding someone with lengthy messages and countless missed calls is not healthy and is unfair, however well-intentioned it may be. If it’s to a friend, a family member, or a partner, you need to be honest about how you’re feeling. For example, if your boyfriend has moved abroad for a 6-month job, it’s okay to tell him you miss him!
Ciara2507
September 4th, 2021 12:00pm
This is an awesome question, and one that I have researched a lot myself. I hope I can help! So, I am going to assume that the person in question meant a lot to you, and that you missed them greatly. That, obviously, is a natural reaction to the ending of a relationship with a partner, family member or friend. Knowing that you miss someone means that you know that that person is still with you. They are important to you still, and through missing them, you are able to almost keep alive a part of your former relationship. When you start to move on with your life and that person isn't missed as much, it can feel like a betrayal of the memories you guys had. That is also normal. Sometimes, you can miss missing someone for completely different reasons. You may miss the security of feeling sad, and the fact that you are happier (i am assuming) can mean that there is further to fall if you do fall again. Missing the comfort of being sad is pretty common, and understandable. You may miss missing them because it means that you guys have completely separate lives now, more so than before, because you are no longer carrying around a little part of them in your sadness. It may be that you miss a reason to cry and eat ice cream, or a reason to avoid taking risks. It may be that the crushing responsibility of mourning a relationship was grounding you after it ended, and now you feel confused and disorientated. I am trying to show that the feeling of missing someone can do a lot for you, and it is perfectly normal to miss that - its another step on your road to recovery. If you want to chat more, I am more than willing to talk to you! Stay strong - you have come so far.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2021 10:44pm
It is very normal to miss the feeling of missing someone. It may be hard and challenging at first but once you open out to new people, it will be much easier. Sometimes, you just can't open up and continue to miss the feeling of missing someone in an unhealthy way. That may be an unavoidable feeling but remember that you are also important. Reach out anonymously to someone on a website like 7 Cups to let your feelings be known. You do not have to get over the feeling immediately, it is your life and you need to take your time to feel better. There is no shame in feeling that way.
Anonymous
October 8th, 2021 2:54pm
Yes, this is natural to feel because once someone is attached to another person and that person is no longer there, they tend to miss them. This is just a human instinct, no matter what or who. There are many ways that one can try to stop missing another person. This is not something that will happen in a day or two or even a week. This can take longer and it can be a painful process. I think you should let yourself feel all the feelings and once you have excepted that that person is gone, you can start distracting yourself.
OnsraRame1512
October 21st, 2021 5:22pm
Yes dear it is very normal to miss someone's existence but you don't have to worry cause no matter how much you miss them you are still very much alive without them. You know how to live your life as you were once upon a time without them you were living it up well. Yes it might surely hurt sometime but believe me we all have gone thru someone important leaving it is always ugly. But we need to get ourselves together as no one would do that for us. Its just us at the end with our thoughts so I it is better to keep be positive and see the pros of their leaving and move on.
superstar21
October 27th, 2021 4:27pm
I do think it is normal to miss the feeling of missing someone. Simply because it is hard to go back to things that we are so used to after not doing them anymore. We can make ourselves comfortable doing things that we do not want to do anymore. When this feeling is gone, we sometimes long for the feeling of wanting to miss some one again. I'm not sure how you can stop this feeling. I always like to take things day by day in order to get through. And telling myself that it is okay to feel these things.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2021 3:55am
I believe its normal to miss the feeling of missing someone, especially because I have felt this feeling. Even at a time when the person I was missing was someone who treated me wrongly while even being in a position of my life where he should have treated me better than everyone else. Also, I have felt this way with losing a family member. I have found that acknowledging my feelings is a good step. Then, giving myself a smile or a sense of gratitude for having big heart to feel this way for another person. It seems like converting the feeling to another level of existence helps to move along without staying too long in that space.
whimsicalHoliday8294
November 20th, 2021 2:28am
It is definitely normal to miss the feeling of missing someone. Our brains are trained to see the negative in life, in preparation for the worst case scenario. Missing someone is addicting, but can be stopped with time and experience only. The more you go through life, the more you realize that you are better off without that person, and naturally, that missing feeling goes away. I have experienced the feeling of missing, missing someone and it was because missing that person filled a big void in my life, and was the excuse for a lot of the work I wasn't doing but should have been.