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What to do if a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you?

201 Answers
Last Updated: 01/15/2022 at 5:34pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in Breakups
May 20th, 2016 12:59am
I will answer based in my personal experience, a guy did it with me; its a long story but i met him from high school, i was in love with him, but he wasn't sure about, and he is not good expressing feelings, later he get a new girlfriend from College (that was hard) but after a while he started to chat with me again, and he cheats on his girlfriend with me, i felt awful, he say he is not in love with that girl, but guess what, he is still with the girl, so that will hurt you a lot,because you will start to have hard feelings so the best thing since my perspective is let him go.
May 18th, 2016 9:31am
Enjoy the guy do anything but trust or love him. These guys are perfect to have fun with. Talking of his girlfirend, that's not your concern.
February 25th, 2017 5:51pm
I believe that this answer can differ very much depending on the situation. Did you know about his girlfriend? Are you in love? How did it start?etc. A general direct answer can be excessively harmful to all three parties involved.
May 20th, 2016 12:45pm
The best thing to do is go to the girl who he cheated on and take responsibility for what was done and tell her what has happened.
May 24th, 2017 5:28am
Being the "other woman" is a difficult position to be in. In my experience, it was something that wrenched my heart and caused so much pain in my life. While everyone's story is different, it is undeniable that feeling as if you are to blame is painful. Remember that you didn't cheat on the girlfriend - he did. It is important to remember that you are not an option or a choice. You are a living person, and a beautiful one at that, that deserves true and pure love.
November 4th, 2016 4:19pm
He either never loved her or he lost his love for her, if you have deep feelings for him then you continue to do what you are doing. As long as it makes you happy.
May 20th, 2016 8:15am
I suggest to never see that guy again. If h can cheat on his gf then he should not be trusted.
May 29th, 2016 5:25pm
disclaimer: I am a huge advocate of knowing your self-worth You deserve so much more than to be kept in the shadows. I suggest that you tell him very plainly that you are worth much more than being his something on the side. If he really respected you (as all partners should) then he wouldn't be cheating on anyone; he'd end the relationship that he was unhappy in and start one with you properly. However, judging by his behavior now, it seems that he is still very immature. That saying "old habits die hard" is correct 99% of the time but, if you trust that he is doing this because he wants to be with you - and I mean he goes into detail that this is for you specifically - than it's up to you if you feel comfortable trusting him to be a loyal and honest partner. Just remember: you can't change anybody but yourself. If he wants to become better for you, he'll do it on his own. You can support him but don't try and do it for him or he'll never change.
May 18th, 2016 5:24am
In my personal opinion, I calmly explain to the girlfriend what happened. If you didn't know he was dating someone, don't worry, just tell her. She needs to know because you wouldn't want her to get hurt from him.
January 17th, 2018 1:01am
I have been in this situation. I found that it is best to have respect for yourself and realize that the issue is with the guy and not you. This is very important. You are not the issue. The guy does not respect you or his girlfriend, and it doesn't make you a bad person for wanting to be with that guy. It is very possible that he will ultimately hurt you, like he has hurt his girlfriend. Protect and respect yourselves and do not feel guilty for the things you are tempted by. You are awesome.
June 12th, 2016 8:06am
That means there is a chance he will cheat on you too, so team up with his girlfriend and screw him so bad he never forgets it
May 29th, 2016 10:10am
First of all you shouldn't try to uncover the situation until he does. If he remains silent about it so should you. But if he actually opens up to his girlfriend you should express respect for her and apologize for what happened. It doesn't matter whether you knew that he had girlfriend or not, you should respect others persons feelings, because it's a deep trauma for her. Try to put yourself in her shoes and see if you like it. Express feelings from that point of view.
July 31st, 2016 6:46pm
If he says he loves you and tries to cheat on his girlfriend with you, it may seem tempting and like a perfect relationship with a perfect guy. However looks and words can be deceiving. If he really loved you he would leave his girlfriend for you.
May 22nd, 2016 4:28pm
I end the relationship immediately, if he can do this do another woman he could do this to me too...
July 9th, 2016 7:36pm
i would be disappointed and leave them be .. move on with my life and search for someone that would respect me.
June 3rd, 2016 4:33pm
I think the right thing to do would be to get him to tell his girlfriend first and then if he refused I would tell her because it's not right to keep that hidden.
May 18th, 2016 10:13pm
You must know that his demons do not mean you are in the wrong. Only he has done bad, and only he can fix it.
June 10th, 2016 12:19pm
If a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you. You are what is referred to as his "side-chick". You need to leave that relationship and find a man who is good at golf and likes to score a hole in one and not a hole in three.
July 2nd, 2016 12:47pm
I'll never accept him. If he cheats for me, he'll do it for another girl to. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
August 7th, 2016 1:55am
Generally speaking, when two people enter into a situation of trust like a monogamous relationship, it is not a positive thing for either of those people to break that trust by cheating. However, we are human and things of this nature happen. No one is perfect. The wisest decision would be to respectfully discontinue the activity and distance yourself from the situation. Telling the afflicted party will likely not stop the behavior and could potential endanger your own safety. If the person you were involved with ever threatens you for discontinuing the behavior, please take steps to guarantee your own safety and notify relevant parties (including potentially authorities) regarding these threats. In summary, you should discontinue the behavior and take steps to ensure you do not wind up in any danger.
May 27th, 2017 9:13pm
Slap the guy and kick him in the balls and then tell his girlfriend what he did and tell her that you didn't know he was dating at the time. OR just don't have sex before marriage and the whole problem is thus solved. Seriously it's not rocket science. If you can't keep it in the pants then you are a slut.
July 1st, 2016 4:03pm
I would talk with him about why he did that and try to find a solution for him, his girlfriend and me if it is possible to talk with him in a normal way. If that isn't the case, I would try to find out the phone number of his girlfriend and try to warn her. One point for this action would be to protect her from STD's.
August 13th, 2016 2:45am
Do what will set you free. You were not the only one involved in the act; after all it takes two to tango
August 20th, 2017 8:05am
I'm very sorry for the huge worry you are having. Well if the guy lied to you and you didn't know by any means he had a girlfriend, you should not feel guilty for what happened. The girl the guy is with has indeed the right to know what happened, however you also have the choice to let go of what happened and never contact the guy again, and be more cautious next time. I know if it hard to deal with it but everything heals over time.
May 21st, 2016 10:16pm
If you really like this guy and want things to work out you need to make sure he talks things out with the first girl in order to make things work with you. f you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who cheats then just tell him you want to put the relationship off and find a healthier one.
May 21st, 2016 4:52am
I wouldn't let him cheat on his girlfriend, and inform his girlfriend that he tried. I wouldn't want to have a guy in my life who didn't love me enough to satisfy him.
February 1st, 2017 6:31pm
The right thing to do is break up with him. It shows that you not only have respect for his girlfriend, it also protects you for future problems. If he cheated on his girlfriend with you, who is to say he won't cheat again? If someone thinks it's okay to cheat on one girl while dating another, he is practically cheating on both of them. Both of you deserve a better guy than him, and I wish you the best of luck finding someone who recognizes your worth, and I wish the same for the girl who was cheated on.
June 12th, 2016 11:32am
You should always try and think as if you were in her shoes. Try and think about how you would feel if someone cheated on you and push him to do the right thing and ask him to either stop cheating by telling her or by stop saying you
June 24th, 2016 4:56am
Once you find out about it, end it. It may not be what you want to do but even for your benefit it will help yourself in the long run. You deserve to be treated better than that, and so does the innocent girl that is being hurt in that situation. Never doubt yourself or your self worth.
April 9th, 2017 3:40pm
Situations like that are hard to tell. You can only do what you think is right for you. If you feel happy with the situation it's your choice to stay or not. If you don't, do what you feel would be best for YOUR health, no one else's.