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What to do if a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you?

191 Answers
Last Updated: 09/15/2020 at 6:30am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
CandyMandie1391
October 14th, 2016 12:45pm
Tell him that it is wrong as soon as possible.. if he does not want to act, he have to deal with the concenquences when you tell his girlfriend about it!
confidentbruce17
October 29th, 2016 9:46am
Tell him you are not willing to continue the relationship and tell him it is bad to cheat on someone that really loves you and cares for you and does everything for you
Anonymous
February 5th, 2017 10:57am
If you feel guilty about it, perhaps you should confront him and tell him to break it off with his girlfriend, instead of lying to her and deceiving her. She'll obviously be very if she found out through other ways. If he refuses, maybe you should go tell her yourself and explain that you weren't aware that he had a girlfriend.
EveMarshal
February 23rd, 2017 4:31pm
Then, the guy might do the same thing with you. If you let him in to you, then face the reality of not trusting him. Its a matter of "Trust issue" because you are aware of what and who he was. -true guys never cheats, if he loves you, then make his way first to make things right.
ingeniousPeace79
February 25th, 2017 6:47pm
ask yourself few things: what do you like in a partner? would you like to be in her shoes? do you think he will do otherwise with you if he gets involved with you? do you like 1 to 1? or 1 to 2? or 1 to many? or many to many? what kind of relationship do you need? when cheating happens, it's always the time to recheck values, it's essential, to avoid greater pains in the future.
Anonymous
May 14th, 2017 2:21am
No one would like to feel to be just the second place in a man's heart. The population of the men is large and that guy that wants to cheat doesn't deserve me. He's doing love the wrong way. I won't mind his business and go away.
Anonymous
August 20th, 2017 12:00pm
Don't dumpon your ex. Your relationship is over.Write a letter to yourself, laying out all your grievances, then destroy it.
beju
October 19th, 2017 4:45am
The guy should be politely made to feel that what he is doing is not adding to his positive image. He should be made to realize that integrity gives positive self respect.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2018 2:34am
Talk to him about it. Your answers come from you and him not him and his girlfriend. Even though it may mean nothing for the two of you in the future ask yourself if it’s right and maybe find out more about the relationship he is in.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 3:29am
Well, know that he didn't deserve you. Your way better then they will ever will. There will be another guy who will care for you.
CreateYourOwnLife
January 31st, 2018 1:14pm
You should consider whether you can agree with your conscience and feel good about it. Also about what you actually want and what it all brings in the long term in terms of good and bad consequences.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 11:33pm
Be honest & take responsibility for your actions (he needs to take responsibility for his actions). Ask yourself, do you want to be the girl on the side or do you want someone who will make you his main priority?
stella1013
February 7th, 2018 5:28pm
first of all, you should know that it is wrong to cheat, and try standing in his girlfriend's shoes; ie how betrayed and hurt she must feel if she was to find out. then the right thing to do is to confront his girlfriend and tell her exactly what happened and let them work their relationship out on their own. next, if he happens to leave his girlfriend for you, then you'll have to ask yourself whether you should be with a guy who has cheated in a relationship, especially since it's recent. if he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, there is a good chance that he will do the same thing to you, if you were to be together.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2018 5:11am
Express how you feel in a professional way to the guy on how that doing that was not okay. Being willing to explain what happened to the girlfriend.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2018 8:14pm
It depends if you feel something for him, or if you just feel bad for his partner. If you knew and did it regardless, you should keep it to yourself. If he promised to be with you or told you he would leave his partner for you and hasn't done it, then you can either move on or tell his partner. Just be aware that some partners will not want to believe things, so they might accuse you or intend to harm you in some way. My advice beyond everything is to just move on, it's the best thing you can do.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2018 3:55pm
Depends on what you want to do. Would you like to tell her? If so, how would you like to tell her? I think you should think through what you would like to do
Anonymous
April 27th, 2018 2:21am
I cant say that I know what would be right here. The thinking behind what you do now might help. You should think about some of the behaviors and how'd you'd like to approach it. To reiterate, he cheated on somebody which is wrong for them but also shows that he is on a path where you might enable him to do further bad things. They may seem happy but he is fundamentally troubled which will put their relationship in BAD trouble. So I suppose the answer is what will you be able to do? Whether it is, to tell the truth, to hurt the sensitivities and relationships of others, or to withhold. It all depends on what you'd prefer for their lives.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2018 1:30pm
The right thing is to confront the guy and tell him he needs to tell his girlfriend. If he chooses not to although it is not your place you need to try and put yourself in her position and think about what you would want
MorganConstance
May 4th, 2018 11:11am
A guy actually did cheat on his girlfriend with me. I have no excuse for what happened because I knew that he had a girlfriend back then. It was messy and it messed up a lot of friendships. My advice is that when you find yourself in this situation, take a moment to think it through. Is it really worth the break and mess? I won't judge but a lot of people out there can and maybe will. But it's always going to be your choice in the end.
lovelyShiny78
June 22nd, 2018 1:34am
You stop it and talk to him about it, you know it's not right to do it to anyone and no one deserves it.
GAddams
July 6th, 2018 8:00pm
If you find out that you are the "bit on the side", ask yourself how you feel about that status. The ask yourself how you'd feel if you were the one being cheated on. Honest answers to those two questions will usually give you a pretty good idea what you should next.
Favor2020
November 3rd, 2018 7:27pm
Well this question really have a lot todo with you and how you feel about this subject inside. Each person is going to react differently with this question based upon their up bringing and based upon their religious beliefs. So, I'm going to say if you didn't know he had a girlfriend while you were with him, it probably would make you really upset with him and possibly cause you to quit seeing him because he did not value the other girl and he did not value you as a person. He violated you as a person and took something from you that you might have wanted to give to someone special. Instead, he mislead you and slept with you for his own personal gain. So, you probably are better off without him, and you deserved to have someone who love you for you.
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2018 10:53am
First of all you tell him never to contact you again and respectfully tell his girlfriend, that would be the best approach so that she doesn't blow up on you and think you knew, many women may lose their reasoning when they've been cheated on and take it out on both the mistress and her partner, show her that you were innocent and unknowing... If she still breaks out, don't be too offended and just stay out of her way... Although that would only apply if you didn't know he was in a relationship at the time, if not, tell her and apologize as I said before don't be too offended, if she blows up, just stay out of her way. Good luck
Anonymous
November 25th, 2018 3:23am
Personally, if I discovered a guy was cheating on his girlfriend with me, I'd first ask him to do his best to make amends with her, before ending things. I'd also reach out to his girlfriend to apologise and clear up any confusion, and let her decide how far she'd want to go meeting up- whether becoming friends is something she'd want to do or if a simple text conversation would be enough. I'd also just try to be more sure in the future about the people I choose to date and what their relationship status is before I get into a relationship with them.
XxJocMxX
December 5th, 2018 9:17pm
I had this happen to me, it was with my ex. Just talk to him first and tell him how you feel. If he acts up, maybe start talking to the gf but don't run to her and say he's cheating. Also make sure you have evidence that he is. The girl may think you are lying so try to befriend her. If that doesn't work, cut it off with the guy. You don't need someone who wants to hide you away and you don't want to be his side hoe. Remember to do whats best for you
Lizsen
March 30th, 2019 5:55pm
I would say that depends on whether or not the guy was honest about the girlfriend in the beginning. Either way, it's important to start by owning it and accepting that it happened, but also understanding that cheating shouldn't be justified. There are multiple people's feelings at stake and ultimately the goal is to have respect, compassionate and love for not only ourselves, but for other people as well. Self love and self worth are important and should be a part of the building blocks for a healthy relationship. If you have developed feelings for someone who has a girlfriend, I understand it can be very hard to switch those feelings off, but knowing that you deserve someone who will be committed to you and only you, should make it much easier to not settle for someone who is already in a relationship. Happiness is your birthright, and knowing your worth could potentially bring you so much happiness and joy. 💙
Anonymous
April 14th, 2019 12:25pm
If I ever came to know about this I would leave that guy then and there. Because a guy who could cheat on some other girl with you and also cheat on you with somebody else. It's very simple that a person can never ever give up his/her habit. And if that guy is habitual of cheating on girls he's always gonna do that with anyone and everyone. He might act as if he's guilty but you should really have a close look into his personality. And when you choose to stay with such a person even after knowing all this, you are doing one of the biggest mistake of your life.
Anonymous
May 4th, 2019 2:03pm
If a guy or anyone cheats on someone with you and you knew that he had a girlfriend, #one, reflect on your actions. Then tell the girl what happened. She will be appreciative of you telling her because you would never want to be in that situation, so neither would she. Also probably follow up with the guy and ask him what he was thinking or something of the sort so that way he too will reflect on his actions. The main thing is it’s not only his fault, it’s yours too. You both took the action so it’s both your responsibilities.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2019 5:15am
If a guy cheats on his girlfriend with you then you have two options. The options depend on how you feel as a person. If that's what you're into, then that's on you. If you want to keep it only known between you and the guy, that is also on you. If you feel like you're doing something wrong then you should just tell his girlfriend as soon as possible. (What I would do) Even if you think it's okay, it might not be okay to her and it's also not fair to her if that's the case. If they've been together for a long time it's even more important. If the guy cheated on her with you, he probably will cheat on you with some other girl as well.
katherine081902
July 28th, 2019 7:03am
This is a horrible feeling and has happened to me before. A guy used me and I didn't know he had a girlfriend until afterwards. I dealt with this in the best way I could by one, telling his girlfriend what happened. She wasn't happy with me and thought I was lying because I had a crush on her boyfriend but then she realized I was telling the truth and we became close friends. Then, two, I made sure to tell myself that none of it was my fault. I didn't know he had a girl friend so there was no reason for me to assume he did. He was an honest guy, or so I thought. Do his girlfriend a favor and tell her what he did. She may not be happy with you but you are still doing a great service to her by doing this. :)