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What's the easiest way to break up with someone?

302 Answers
Last Updated: 02/22/2021 at 10:26pm
What's the easiest way to break up with someone?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
AdmirableGrace
October 10th, 2019 4:33pm
Honestly speaking, there is no easy way to break up with someone. There will be heartbreak, tears, sadness and in some cases- exchange of harsh words. It's extremely important for a person to avoid the latter in every way possible. Talk to your partner gently and tell them that you feel like it's not working out and probably the best to break free from the bond. Acknowledge all the good times you spent together and say that it was a beautiful relationship but it's for the best that you guys stop it right there. And please don't do this over a text or a phone call. Meet him/her up at a place, explain what's been on your mind and remind them that you'll always be there as a friend. Good luck!
Anonymous
October 13th, 2019 2:08pm
Sorry you are facing a breakup. This can be a challenging part of life. Although I cannot give you advice, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Would that breakup happen if you were not thinking of breaking up? What would you want the other person to do to break up with you? What is the easiest way of letting go of someone if you no longer want to have them in your life if you still care for that person? Are you willing to remain friends with the person? If yes or no why or why not?
Anonymous
October 18th, 2019 6:18am
there are many easy ways to break up with someone! but i think what's most important when it comes to breaking up is having a clean and amicable break up where both parties are willing parties. i know this sounds tough. many people nowadays would choose to break up over a text, saying "let's break up". but let's take a moment to think about the other party who's receiving the news - is it a responsible way of breaking up with someone you've spent time with? perhaps a phone call would be the second easiest way where you're able to communicate your thoughts conveniently and quickly!
loprei
October 19th, 2019 12:16am
When breaking up with someone, you want to be honest while also remaining respectful and considerate of their feelings. You also want to be sure this is what you want to do, and hold your ground if they protest. The happiness of others should not be at the expense of your own. Personally, I find it easiest to let someone know you want to have a conversation, and make sure they have the time for it and are in an ok emotional state at the moment. If you feel it's necessary to specify why, you should, but otherwise something like "I feel it would be better if we broke up, we aren't the best match and I want us both to be our happiest." is a good way to be mindful of their feelings too.
Singbird
November 13th, 2019 3:27am
Always try to talk face-to-face, be quick and easy about it, it will be hard and it will hurt, but its never right to lead it on or keep them guessing. Honesty is what everyone wants even if we act like we don't want it, but rip the bandage off. Talk to the person and always try to be the better person. Another way would be of course if its abusive or you are scared of the person to do it through phone or bring someone with you for support. Block them everywhere after that, and always make sure you dont end it on very bad terms that would make you feel uncomfortable.
beautifuldarkclouds
December 26th, 2019 12:11pm
It depends on the person you need to break-up with. Some will understand, some will not, some may take it too personally and make things messier, etc. But it's your personal decision. There are ways which may help you like, 1) firstly, make sure why you really need this break-up. Want is different from need. There MUST be a good intention. 2) what all things you are going to say. If you know the person, you must talk accordingly. 3) this is the tricky part, being honest. Be honest about yourself and to him and say it directly, not via any social media or any other media, face to face. But don't forget that if your intentions are right, then you are not doing something wrong. Be brave, to do things right.
Anonymous
January 9th, 2020 2:12am
Let's start out like this...there is no easy to break up with someone if you have given them your heart or trust. If the relationship is not working out, a breakup will come naturally. If you have lost feelings, it can be extremely hard on the other person because they have feelings too. But you must focus on your own happiness too. Never break up with someone through text though, it shows that you do not care as much and it hurts, bad. You can try and talk it out face to face, it is hard but you can show your emotion. You can ask to just be friends and still support the other person in their life, don't just fade away immediately.
FaithAmelie
January 25th, 2020 7:53pm
There is no easy way to dump someone; there is also no easy way to get dumped. Some people think escaping is an easy way out - like by texting a breakup, or simply vanishing from someone's life. From personal experience, this may feel easier at first but it comes back to haunt you eventually. And not giving closure to someone whom you once loved is simply unfair. The best way to break up, in my opinion, is to communicate face to face. Share your feelings truthfully, with compassion, but don't give false hopes of reconciliation if there isn't any. Don't be cruel and shift blame. Take some responsibility in the breakup and end the relationship as amicably as you possibly can. Good luck!
Anonymous
February 6th, 2020 12:05pm
It's important to talk face to face and being honest. Use nice words,don't be impolite. Just tell honestly what's wrong about the relationship with kind words. I don't think it's necessary to any rude behaviour. And don't forget to keep calm,patiently tell him / her what did you expect & couldn't find. Telling what couldn't you find in this relationship will help him/her when s-he- were alone and start think about what's going on. Explain how do you feel about it... It won't be easy for anyone in this situation but it's really best way to don't accuse anyone for it.
PurpleEnglobe
March 20th, 2020 3:09pm
Be Clear about your needs and respectful of others but clearly communicate what your intentions are and for how long. Take your time and listen carefully to what each other has to say it may take some time to come to terms with everything that has to be aired and like wise of your partner so give yourselves the space you need to share whatever you need to so you can reslove the relationship and move on in a clear direction and get help if you need to. It is better in the long run to clear the air and leave on a good note.
TrialsofOne
March 21st, 2020 5:53am
There truly is no easy way to break up with someone. The only thing you can do is be compassionate as possible. It's something that takes a lot of courage and strength to do. Take a deep breathe and be sure what you want to say before you dive into it. Be prepared for all out comes. When all else fails ask someone for advice and come up with the best way to approach the situation. Take the breakee's feelings into consideration. It's okay to be feel an array of emotions. We are all only human after all. You got this!
walkingpresent
April 3rd, 2020 6:15am
The thing about relationship is that it is some sort of a trial test on whether you can live with this person for the rest of your lives. When you find out that person is not suited to you, or you feel like you are unable to handle being with that certain person, we break up. Why would you stay with a person that does not make you happy? When breaking up with someone, it is crucial to know that the feelings may be still there, the feelings of guilt and shame that lingers due to the past love you had for this person, and that is okay, that is human. When you attempt to break up with someone, it is important to know that it is not a negotiation, relationships are like open doors, you can leave on your own accord without the permission of the other person. Meaning you do not ask for permission, you are merely telling the person that you want to leave. To note that to make it clear that you are not giving any more hope for the other person, especially if that person is unstable / immature emotionally. Giving hope will only make them cling to that hope, to the thought of getting back together.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2020 9:54am
I think it's best to talk to the person in real life. Be honest with them and tell them how you feel. You could also remind that that you appreciate the relationship that you had together. Be confident in the choices you make. If you believe it's best to break up with this person, don't hesitate. You could also tell someone you trust that you will be going through a break up. This way you will have someone to confide to. Relationships can be hard, but I am sure you have the strength to break up with someone and get over them.
1Christina
April 24th, 2020 12:40am
To end any kind of relationship, be it romantic or from a social group or work situation, demonstrating honesty and respect for oneself and others enables the parting of ways easier for all. Remain mindful of how you convey your need to end the relationship with words that do not cast blame. Making “I” statements, is owning that this is something that you need to do for yourself. “I feel the need to end this relationship because I cannot continue this any more” For personal safety, do this in privacy and also in a public place, where there are other people around but at a distance. This will enable you to leave in safety. The person you are breaking up with may be accepting of this decision you have made. If not the other person may want to bargain with you and may even harass you. If this happens, take measures to protect yourself.
Anonymous
May 1st, 2020 10:56pm
The easiest way to break up with somebody is to them straightforward. You can not beat aroud the bush in these situations beause it might hurt the other person. Even if you have been dating them for a long time you should still communicate your feelings and them directly. Also be calm in the situation and do not attack them. Talk about if you guys can remain friends, but if not completely walk away. Do not contact them because it could be misleading. During the break up tell exactly the reason because sometimes we question the whys to so many things.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2020 4:12am
Breaking up with someone is never easy and shouldn't be treated that way, as someone is bound to get hurt. It's really best to do it as gently as possible, have a conversation face to face for one. With social media its easy to fall into the trap of "Ill just text them" but that wont give any closure to either party involve. Face to face so theres no miscommunication or misunderstanding of tones. No matter what, there was a reason you two dated, there will always be a bond there in some way, be respectful of that.
FutureNurse1976
May 3rd, 2020 8:22pm
Breaking up with someone can be a difficult time and process for anyone. There is no easy way to do because usually one of the two parties gets hurt in the process. At the same time when one realizes that they are in a relationship that is not right for them, they need to do what is best for them and their happiness. Honesty is the best policy. You need to just sit with the person and explain where you are coming from. Giving them a reason will be the best in the end for parties and the emotions involved.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2020 10:55pm
in my experience, the easiest way isn’t always the best way. of course, dropping a text and blocking someone from your life is seemingly very quick. however, to allow both of you to heal and move on, it is best to have a mature conversation (in person) where any questions can be answered and then you can go your separate ways and try and maintain and respect that boundary. it might get emotional as relationships often have a lot of time and effort invested in them, but it is probably the most healthy and loving way to end things. just remember that regardless of the situation now, you pursued a relationship because you really liked, perhaps even loved this person, and therefore you most likely still want the best for them.
Anonymous
June 12th, 2020 8:37am
To be honest, there is no "easiest way" when it comes to break ups. It will always be kind of hard to find the courage to break up with someone, but you could always try having a face to face conversation with them on how you feel. It could take a lot of courage to open up to them and risk heartbreak for the both of you, but at the end it is worth it. And remember, if you are unhappy with the relationship, then it will most likely cause more harm to stay in such a relationship than to end it.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2020 1:17am
Honestly? just tell them. Don't lead them on, and explain how you feel. I had a boyfriend who continuously hit on the girl who i wasn't supposed to worry about, and he broke up with me for her by saying he needed to "focus on his work and music." It would have hurt a lot less if he had been honest with me from the start. I'm not saying it won't hurt for the other person, but it will save them a lot of confusion and anger. Sit down with them, gently tell them, and give them the room they need to heal. This isn't a fun situation for either of the two people, but when handled properly, it will be a lot less painful.
jordanneedscoffee
July 15th, 2020 3:10pm
The best way to break up with someone is to be honest about your feelings about the relationship. It's not always the easiest way, but it certainly is the most respectful way and it will help both of you get the closure that you need to move on. If at all possible, try to do it in person so that you are giving that pivotal moment the time and space that it needs. If you're unable to do it in person, try writing a letter that explains why you feel the relationship cannot move forward, but also thanking them for the time that you did spend together.
illbethereforyou1321
July 24th, 2020 3:13pm
Just calmly tell them that the relationship sin;t working. Stay strong. Even if you are dying inside keep that head up. Just know that nothing lasts forever and some people just aren't meant for each other. It is life and it is hard I know but you can so get through this. Or you could dump them through a friend if it is too painful but you would have to confront them at some point. Please never break up over text things get misinterpreted and the problem gets worse and also it is a horrible thing to and will upset the person who you are breaking up with.
helpfulpanda2468
July 24th, 2020 6:00pm
It's hard to break up with someone, and that is entirely true. If you and the person were or are in love with each other, it will be difficult but not impossible. The best thing you can do is maintain a peaceful conversation and make sure you address why you are breaking up with them. Be respectful, but let them know that what they did, did not settle right with you. Be kind and make sure that remind them of their good qualities and that those should never change. I hope this somewhat helped you and gave you insight. :)
graceyrae12
July 25th, 2020 6:15pm
The easiest way to break up with someone is probably to sit them down and have a talk with them. Anyway to break up with Someone will be hard, but I think explaining to them why you want to break up is a good start. It’s hard and the words may not come easily for you but at the end of the day you have to do what’s best for you. A phone call too, that way you may not be as anxious as you would in person!!! I cant really give advice but I know you will figure out what works best for you
gracefuldeadlyswan
July 30th, 2020 10:42pm
Easy? Hmmm. Easiest is to just walk away without a word it obviously this a bad idea. The person you are breaking up with probably has a pretty good idea that things aren't great so that does help. It's hard to know just what to say though. But I think it's important to say that you got a lot out of the relationship and to say what kind things you can to the person. It's also important not to overtalk it. Most likely the person will know why. So do it in person. This is not the easiest way but is the best unless there has abuse.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2020 3:50am
The easiest way to break up with someone is to be completely honest with them, but don’t be disrespectful about it. If you have been in a relationship with them, you should have mutual trust and understanding. Although this may hurt your partner, doing what’s best for you and your mental health is most important. Before you do it, spend a lot of time thinking about it so you are absolutely sure about it. Think about what you’ll say and your reasoning before it happens, so you don’t get caught up in the emotions and say something rude or hurtful. I would also recommend to do it in person, it is harder to do it, but they’ve spent a lot of time with you and they deserve it to be in person. Do not avoid the difficult conversation that needs to happen, talking through it will make it better for both sides.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2020 12:39pm
As with any aspect of a relationship, honest communication is key. The person you are seeing, they need to know that you don't feel like you're happy dating them anymore. If there is a specific reason why you feel that the relationship is not working that would be wise to communicate those feelings. At the very least, honesty is key to any part of a relationship. Breaking up, there is no magic formula or easy way, but there are ways to do so in a mature, sensible way if that makes sense. I feel it's important to be open and honest about those communications.
Anonymous
August 16th, 2020 2:44pm
I don't know if there's an easy way. I think it's hard no matter what. I don't think it makes it easy - but I'd find a way to talk to them in person, if that's possible. To be able to share, to listen, to hear what they have to say, to maybe grieve together. It depends on so many things - how long you've been together, on the relationship, on the reasons for break up. I think it's an honest and hard conversation that needs to happen. I don't know of anything that makes it easier, but there are ways that makes you feel like you did your best and respected the other person, and were kind.
silverButton1102
August 19th, 2020 10:43pm
there really isn't an easy way to break up with a partner, its going to hurt and its not going to be good at all, but the best way would to be straight up with them, don't hint or be off with them, talking to them about it will always be the best way and sometimes that may lead to the relationship healing and becoming stronger, but it will also mean neither of you are left with questions and doubts, and if you talked about it you would feel better, it would also be best to do it face to face or on another way such as FaceTime as texting or calling you can't see or understand how they feel, which makes it easier
PeachyPie001
August 22nd, 2020 9:34pm
There’s really no easy way to do it. Generally it’s agreed to not do it over text. If the relationship was more digital than in person, then I think a phone call or FaceTime is alright. If it was a in person relationship for the most part, then definitely do it in person. Be honest, but don’t be brutal. Don’t shift all the blame onto yourself if you weren’t the one causing the majority of the issues. Moreover, don’t shift all the blame to the other person if you were the one causing the issues. The end of a relationship is very rarely one person’s fault. Acknowledge that- you’ll look mature.