Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

Although toxic, you and your partner have undoubtedly been through a lot together... It may seem like you and your partner have overcame obstacles, expressed passionate concern for each other, and "resolved" many issues, when in reality the cycle is unlikely to ever end. It is difficult for us as humans to abandon our comfort zone. This is another reason why you feel yourself getting pulled back into the toxic relationship again and again- the comfort of it. The unknown can be frightening... Being alone can be scary. Dating other people can be scary too, but life is all about change and growth.

People often go back to their toxic relationships due to the sense of familiarity, and remembering the good moments. Sometimes we fixate on these good moments so much that we discount the bad. We make ourselves believe that the bad moments were a blip in the road and that the relationship isn't toxic. We make ourselves believe the good outweighs the bad, we wait for them to do something good and so the cycle carries on.. we forgive. We forget what we want in a relation and tell ourselves we only want that person, hence, the relationship is maintained.

You sound like you have formed a toxic connection to the person that was treating you in this toxic way. People tend to go back to their toxic relationships because they miss the person, or cant seem to let go of the person. People who act in these abusive ways often contribute to you mindset that you wont be able to live your normal life without them, even though you are probably better off without them anyways. Letting go is never easy, and therefore, letting go of a toxic relationship is most definitely very hard, since the person manipulated you to feel that way.

We often run to the past because it is familiar to us, and we often know how the ending is which adds a comforting sense to our mind. But this does not mean we continue to keep running in circles around that one particular thing, in this being the toxic relationship, we must run linear which means, forward. This is why, due to the known familiarity and a learnt end, you tend to set back to the prior relationship. You can always work to fix things but a book's ending cannot be altered how ever hard you try. Therefore it's ideal to start afresh and new, no matter how known the past is to you.

This is a very common issue. First of all do not judge yourself. We all have been through that process, and finding out the root cause of it, could take time. Most of the times we were raised witnessing some sort of behaviors in -maybe- our parents relationship, or other people around us; so we are used to what is familiar to us. Noticed how I said "what is familiar to us" and not what is actually healthy for us. You have to sit down with yourself and think about what is it that it is making you take steps back and not moving on. Breaking a pattern can be challenging, but long term can make your life better. Think about what is familiar to you and what could be healthy.

My personal experiences are that we are used to being treated that way that it's like a bad habit we can't kick. That he think you love the person because of the good points or because of the reason that you first fell in love with them because you think they can become that again but you have to remember that is just the shell that they feed you in the first place until they know they have you. I've been told by a few places not only the refuge I ended up in that these types of men/ women pray upon people with big hearts, forgiving nature's andthat are caring. That doesn't mean not to be these things it just means to guard your heart and two step away if you feel something isn't right within the first few months.

It'd be because you cant escape from him. May be not because you love him so much or you can't live your life without him but because you feel "guilty" to start breaking up with him. I have also faced like that kind of situation. You may be afraid of becoming a bad person when you start breaking up. You might also be afraid of what other people will judge about you behind you. Or another possibility of going back to toxic relationship can be like we might think that we can change that person's behaviour. We may try to believe that he or she can change his bad characters because that person loves you. And we are waiting for him and going over and over again back to toxic relationships. Another possibility is that you feel so sorry about break up that you easily get back together with your partner when he or she comes to apologize you.

In simple terms, it could just be that you are experiencing Stockholm syndrome. Sometimes, you are so used to being in a bad situation that changing is terrifying so you continue to run back to the person you know will hurt you because at least you KNOW what's coming. Or maybe you tend to gravitate toward abuse. There can be so many factors that contribute to this, but the most important thing to say on this topic is this: You deserve better. You need to know your value, respect yourself, and find someone who values and respects you as an equal.

You might be in a low place, maybe thinking that you aren't good enough for anyone else. If you know that this person is toxic and not really good for you, you might be lonely and not feeling yourself. Ask yourself if you blame you for not realizing what you were getting yourself into. Do you think that it's you who's the problem? Asking yourself these questions might help you find the answer. Maybe you're looking for affirmation. Do you want to know if you're still enough for this person? Do you feel alone and want anyone, even if it means settling for less?

Sometimes we go back to our toxic relationships hoping that the person has changed and will treat or love you better so you are drawn back to them for clear validation hoping they did love you.For others, they go back because they know the pattern their partner plays, they understand there toxic game so they are at ease with this rather than finding someone else who is quite unpredictable which admittedly is quite frightening. It's hard to just stop loving someone no matter how toxic so the care you hold for them takes you back to them.All in all there is always hope for those in this situation all the while remember to put yourself first.

There will be two possible reasons why you kept going back despite knowing the fact that is a toxic relationship. First is, you were afraid that after you left. You will never met someone who will love and accept you. We are afraid that staying in the toxic relationship will somehow give us the feeling of security and love but no. The right person eill come at the right time and the right place. We should never be in a relationship wherein you never grow as a person and you never grow as a couple. Couples who seems to have longer relationships has the most challenging situations. You should know when is the time to give up and help find yourseld again that you once lose because of loving that person. Second is, you think he is the only person that could ever give you love. Some people stay because they are longing for someone to love them. They are looking for that love that thry cannot get from their family and friends. More of acceptance. But remember, never lose yourself in completing your partner. Both of you should complete each other, help, grow, and develop together. Relationship works because two people decided to give their best and efforts. It will never work on one sided.

After a few months, I realised that losing you wasn’t really a loss. Losing you made sense. Losing you was inevitable. I lost you because I never really had you. You were never really mine, you were always searching for something away from me you were always thinking of someone else when you were with me. I lost you because I would’ve lost who I was if I held onto you. I lost you to find myself. See, I learned that it’s better to lose some people than to hold on to the hope of them coming back, because a person who doesn’t want to lose you, will never let you slip away. But you didn’t fight. You didn’t try. And in turn, you made my decision for me. You made it easier for me to think of losing you as another way to find myself another way to save myself. And for the first time, you made me realise that not every person you lose is a loss and that losing can sometimes be winning. For the first time, you made me realise that losing someone is sometimes the only way to love yourself. For the first time, you made me realise there is so much more to be found in losing someone who was never meant to stay. Losing you was hard, but keeping you was harder. Losing you was a lesson but not a loss. Losing you was my favourite win.

I keep going back to my toxic relationship because its comfortable. I know him, I understand him, and he understands me. He tells me its different this time. That he's changed and he'll try harder and it'll be so much better this time around, and because I trust him, I come back, expecting a change. The change never happens though, as the old routine comes back slowly but surely, and soon you're back where you started. So you end it again but he comes right back with the words you hear every time but also believe every time, and you take him back, knowing deep down that it'll come back to you being hurt, but not caring because in those moments he gives you the attention and love you deserve. And thats enough for the time being. Thats not right, we should all stop

Returning to our exes is a pattern, and it’s a toxic one that can be broken with some understanding. From comfort to raging insecurities — these are the most common reasons you keep going back to your no-good ex. It’s comfortable The world is crazy right now, and it doesn’t seem to show any signs of slowing down. In environments filled with protest, conflict, anger and heartache — our relationships can become a comfort-point, which provides us with safety, stability and reassurance. Even if those aren’t the things our relationship truly provides, it can still feel comfortable enough to slide back into, even though we know it’s full of holes…just like that old sweater you had to throw away 10 years too late. Obsessed with validation Relationships can get competitive, and we can even come to see the life we’re building with a toxic partner as a bit of a “challenge” to overcome. When that relationship breaks down, we might still feel as though we have something to prove (either to the other person or ourselves). In that state of mind, we become tempted by the idea of picking up where we left off. As though that somehow validates all the obvious mis-match going on. Easier than starting over Believe it or not, sheer laziness is another common reason that people go running back to partners and spouses they know aren’t a good fit. Even when things are toxic and scary, going back to something you already know how to deal with seems like an easier deal than starting over with someone new. The problem there, though, is that it’s not easier; because you’re putting in even more emotional labor, being unhappy and existing in a state of conflict and pain. Failed visions of love Ask three separate people what “true love” means to them and you’ll probably get 3 separate answers. We all see love in different ways, and we all want different things from our partners and from our relationships. When these ideas of love are bent, broken or skewed, however, it can seriously impact our partnerships. It can also force us back into relationships that are filled with misery or are otherwise an unhappy fit. Unresolved trauma Trauma has a funny way of coming up time and time again until we find the courage to face it. The same is true for relationship trauma, and the thousands of constant battles we always seem to be waging against the past. There are those who go back to toxic partners, because they are attempting to validate themselves against the injuries of their previous experiences. There is no moving backward, however, only forward toward healthier partners. Raging insecurities When you’re dealing with low self-esteem and self-worth, it leads you to form a low personal opinion of yourself. These raging fears and insecurities eat away at your strength and make it easier for abusers and toxic people to get inside and take advantage of you. Running back to the same toxic partners? Your self-esteem is probably playing a part.

You're keep going back to that toxic relationship it is because you really love the person and/or you want of feeling being inlove. Another possible reason why you're going back its because you are still hoping that one day, that relationship will become okay. Another possible reason, you keep going back its because you love them more than yourself. If you really know what you deserve, if you really love yourself, you will choose to cut him off in your life even though you love the person because you know your worth and you love yourself. If you really love yourself, you will not let yourself to settle for less.

Toxic relationships, as harmful as they are, are familiar. It's what you know and grew comfortable around. It makes sense you wouldn't want to break out of that comfort zone, even if you know it's bad for you. And sometimes the consequences of leaving the toxic relationship forever would be even worse, and lead to things like blackmail. It's really easy to fall into old habits and go back to what's familiar to us, even if it's not healthy for us. It takes a lot of inner strength and self discipline to leave your comfort zone and discover new things

I use to go back to my toxic relationship because I thought that I could fix things. It took me 2 years to learn that you can't change people. The only thing you can do is communicate your feelings and hope they can understand. In my case, the person never understood what I was trying to say. They also wanted something different for their life than I did. So our goals never matched and caused more friction in the relationship. I personally found it helpful to look back to when I was not with that person and see that I can do things on my own.

The reason that you keep going back to this troubled relationship is because it feels comfortable and familiar. It becomes a habit and habits are hard to break. The mind and body love to operate in its comfort zone. It feels safe and it feels. We tend to not like change nor do we like to feel pain. Most of us quickly find something to relieve us of the pain. Our minds are the same way What is the root of such. a thought process is that it is faulty thinking, and unhealthy relationships. Lack of self-esteem, not feeling worthy of anything better. We may not even be aware that we are harboring these faulty programs

Sometimes we would rather be with someone than to be alone. There are times that we focus on the positive parts of the relationship instead of thinking about the consequences & how it will effect us emotionally and spiritually. Focusing on the positive parts, when there are so few of them in the relationship can harm us in the long term. Its important to ask several questions; Why are going back to this person? Do you feel worthy or desirable? Do you feel loved most of the time in this relationship? Do you or have you ever thought of self love? And what does self love means to a person that is in a toxic relationship? What is going to change when you go back this time? What will be different?

Because so times you love that person so much but you don't want to let them go so its like it fells like you would never get over that person because sometimes u won't but you just have to try and you might just like a toxic relationship but if I was you I would never go back because I went back to a toxic relationship and I just really loved that person but if u ask me if I wanted to go back my answer would be a maybe because me looking back on that toxic relationship I seen what was wrong with the relationship so now I really don't want to go back.

Sometimes you get the most attention out a person that you have experienced more emotions with. I know how hard it can be to let a person go, even if you don’t necessarily want to leave alone. i found it hard to leave my ex boyfriend alone because he was good to me other than the cheating and i guess because I’m young and know that none of the girls he’s messed around with are permanent. I want to wait for him to change but I sleep want to move on. Move on!!! you helped me with this question.

speaking from experience, its because it feels comfortable. I know that sounds weird, believe me, but its something you know, and although you can identity that is it toxic, there's the little image on the back of your mind that it feels good and okay. getting out of a toxic relationship is understand that yes it feels comfortable, but the fear of the unknown (leaving it) has much better outcomes than staying there. its going to feel terrifying, but youve been in a bad relationship state for so long, nothing will feel normal for a bit. the important thing to remember is that your physical and emotional safety is the most vital. sending love

I have found that toxic relationships are some of the hardest to leave, and easiest to return to, even when they are not serving us. A few things play into why this happens. Often, sometimes the drama and heightened emotions that occur can be mistaken for passion or love. Also, sometimes after being in this situation for a while, this sort of treatment starts to feel normal and a person gets used to the toxicity -- it can be difficult to remember what a healthy relationship feels like. While there are many other things I think play into it, a final one I will mention is that often there are promises made that one or both parties will change the toxic behavior and we put our partners on a pedestal a lot and want in our hearts to believe that and continue to give them chances.

Because toxic relationships are hard to break. I don't know the details of your relationship, so I can't pinpoint the exact reason, but there can be a number of reasons why people keep going back to a toxic relationship. If you're in a codependent relationship, that could be one of the reasons. Also, the familiarity that comes with the person or the relationship keeps people going back. Or if they are in love with the toxic person and attached to them and habituated to that toxic behaviour, and that makes it hard to break it off. Some people also end up staying because of the fear of being alone and not being able to find another partner again. Whichever of these it is, I hope you can find it in you to disengage and leave (if it is very toxic for you) because being in a toxic relationship can be extremely draining and damaging and ruin your life and mental health and peace. It will be a hard thing to do at first, but ultimately very liberating and an act of self love.

Familiar things are comfortable to us. Even though we may know a relationship is not good for us, what happens after we end the relationship is unknown to us. This is scary and change is hard. You may battle with internal conflict and try convince yourself that the relationship isn't that bad or perhaps your partner will change. Do you truly believe he/she will change? Have there been patterns that prove this? You need to think about what's best for you and make the hard decisions that will get you to where you need to be. Sometimes we need to let go of the people and/or relationships that are no longer good for us. You know you better than anyone else, and you deserve to make yourself happy too.

"We accept the love we think we deserve", sometimes it can be the that we think we only deserve that and it's a way for oneself to punish oneself. Other times it can be the guilt of leaving someone who keeps calling you back. You don't want to be the bad one, your savior complex kicks in and you want to "save" the other person Sometimes it's just can be that it's natural order of things that you have come to accept. Anything straying away from this routine feels odd after a while and you just want to go back to the place which was familiar even though toxic

It can be difficult to completely cut ties with a relationship, even when the relationship it is toxic. People might return to toxic relationships and toxic scenarios for many reason, but perhaps the most common reason is that the particular person or situation--even though it is toxic--is familiar. There can often be a sense of comfort in familiarity, even when that familiarity is with an unhealthy or toxic relationship. When we are familiar with a situation, we often have a sense of how things are going to go (even if we expect them to go in an unfavorable direction) and that foreknowledge can be reassuring when it means we know what to expect.

You might have many reasons to go back to a toxic relationship. I think one of the biggest reason that people go back to these relationships willingly is that it is all they have known--it becomes their comfort zone (no matter how ironic that sounds). People become accustomed to the toxic behaviors of their partners, and they start normalizing it. Being in such a relationship for a long time, makes a person forget their self-worth and that they deserve better--that they are worthy of a loving and respectful partner. This might be the reason why you keep going back to your toxic relationship.

After a break up, our brains like to do this funny thing where we focus on the good times of that relationship instead of the bad times and why you separated in the first place. If we can force ourselves to realise that the relationship ended for specific reasons, the break up process will be so much easier. Don't dismiss the good memories however. They are all part of an experience towards life lessons and making yourself a stronger character. There is somebody out there for everyone and putting yourself into positive situations rather than toxic situations will indeed naturally build up your confidence, self-esteem and general persona over time.

It's easy to get stuck in a rut and old habits always die hard. Your reason for going back is going to be different to someone else's, so really you need to have a think and ask yourself the question 'Why?' - What is it that you are hoping to achieve by repeating old patterns? It could be fear of the unknown. If you are aware the relationship is toxic, that means you clearly have self awareness about the situation. It's going to be hard but i'd sit down and write a list about the positives and negatives of you staying with this person and what you are hoping to achieve and maybe you will gain more understanding about what exactly it is that keeps drawing you back to this person.